Chapter 14 Senna
SENNA
Iwake to warmth.
Not the oppressive heat of summer or the suffocating weight of Darian's presence, but something gentle. Safe. Arms wrapped around me, a steady heartbeat under my ear, the soft brush of breath against my hair.
For a moment, I don't move. Just lie there, soaking it in. The unfamiliar comfort of being held without fear. Of waking without already calculating how to avoid setting him off today.
Lorenth's chest rises and falls beneath my cheek, slow and even. One of his hands rests on my lower back, fingers splayed possessively across my skin. His wings—those beautiful gray wings with their cobalt shimmer—are draped over us like a blanket, cocooning us in our own private world.
My body aches in the most delicious way.
A reminder of last night. Of this morning, technically, since we didn't stop until exhaustion finally claimed us both.
He'd made love to me over and over, each time slower and more reverent than the last. Learning what made me gasp, what made me beg, what made me forget my own name.
That tight, gnawing ache in my chest—the one he said was our bond—has finally quieted. Not gone, exactly, but satisfied. Like something essential finally clicked into place after being misaligned for too long.
And the years of hurt... gods, I hadn't realized how much I was carrying until he'd eased it away with his hands, his mouth, his body. Until he'd shown me what it felt like to be touched with care instead of cruelty.
I shift slightly, tilting my head back to look at him.
His eyes are already open. Storm-blue and ringed with gold, watching me with an intensity that should probably frighten me but doesn't. A slow smile curves his lips—genuine and warm and so different from Darian's sharp-edged smirks.
"How do you feel?" His voice is rough from sleep, but gentle.
I consider the question. Really consider it.
"Sore," I admit, and his smile turns slightly wicked. "But... good. Really good." A pause. "Still a little mad about the kidnapping, though."
He huffs a quiet laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Fair enough."
I grin then, something light and almost giddy bubbling up in my chest. Because it's absurd, isn't it? I spent years convincing myself I couldn't leave. That I was trapped. That Darian would hunt me down if I ran, that I'd never be safe, that there was no point in even trying.
But it was simple. So stupidly simple.
I left with a xaphan. A powerful, noble xaphan who could snap Darian in half without breaking a sweat. Darian's not going to come after me here. He's not that stupid. He's a coward who only hits people who can't hit back, and Lorenth... Lorenth would destroy him.
Which means I'm safe.
Actually, truly safe.
"You know what?" I say, still grinning. "I've never been happier to be kidnapped."
Something flashes in his eyes—relief, maybe, or satisfaction—and he shifts, rolling us so I'm on my back with him propped on one elbow beside me. His free hand comes up to smooth my hair back from my face, fingers lingering against my temple.
"Good." He brushes his thumb over my cheekbone. "Because I want to be bonded."
The words hit me like cold water.
I blink up at him, trying to process. "Bonded?"
"Soulbonded." His gaze doesn't waver. "Properly. With the Nashai to complete it."
My heart starts racing. I knew there was a bond between us—felt it that first night at the Masquerade, and even more strongly now—but I hadn't thought much beyond that. Hadn't considered what it actually meant.
"I don't..." I swallow hard. "I don't understand."
His expression softens. "The bond is already there.
Between us. But right now it's incomplete—just formed, not sealed.
If we don't complete it with a Nashai ceremony, it'll slowly drain us both.
Make us sick. Weak." His thumb traces idle patterns on my skin.
"But even if the bond wasn't there, even if we weren't fated.
.. I'd still pick you. Still want you. This just makes it official. "
Official. Permanent. Binding.
My chest tightens—not with the bond this time, but with something sharper. Fear.
I've heard stories about xaphan my whole life. Terrible, cruel creatures who looked down on humans as lesser beings. Who used their power to subjugate and control. And I've spent years tied to a man who treated me like property. Who used marriage as a weapon to hurt me.
Soulbonding would tie my life to Lorenth's. Would make it impossible to ever leave, even if I wanted to.
What if I'm wrong about him? What if this kindness is temporary? What if he turns into someone else once he has me locked down?
I must pull back without realizing it, because his expression shifts. The warmth in his eyes doesn't fade, but something cautious enters them.
"Senna." He says my name like a question.
"I just..." I struggle to find the words. "I've been bound to someone before. Legally. And it was... it wasn't good."
"I know." His hand hasn't left my face, still gentle. Still careful. "But this isn't like that. A soulbond isn't some piece of parchment that says you belong to me. It's... deeper. More permanent, yes, but it goes both ways."
I meet his gaze, trying to see past the reassurance to whatever truth lies beneath. "What do you mean?"
He shifts, sitting up slightly and pulling me with him so we're both upright. The sheet pools around our waists but he doesn't seem to notice or care about our nakedness. All his focus is on me.
"A soulbond ties us together completely," he says, voice steady. "Your pain becomes my pain. Your joy becomes my joy. If you're hurt, I feel it. If you're happy, I feel that too." He takes my hand, lacing our fingers together. "And most importantly—I physically cannot hurt you."
I frown. "What?"
"The bond won't allow it." His thumb strokes over my knuckles.
"If I even thought about harming you, it would turn that violence back on me.
I'd slit my own throat before I could raise a hand to you.
And I'd smile while doing it, because the bond would make hurting myself to protect you feel right. "
My breath catches.
"That's..." I shake my head, trying to wrap my mind around it. "That's not like marriage at all."
"No." His expression is fierce now. "Marriage is a legal contract. This is... this is choosing to tie my entire existence to yours. Choosing to make your wellbeing more important than my own survival. Choosing to love you so completely that I couldn't hurt you even if I went insane and tried."
Love. The word hangs between us, weighty and significant.
He doesn't take it back. Doesn't soften it or qualify it. Just watches me with those storm-blue eyes and waits.
I think about Darian. About the way he'd cornered me, controlled me, hurt me. About the years I spent making myself smaller, quieter, less visible, hoping it would keep me safe.
It never did.
Because marriage gave him power over me and he wielded it like a weapon.
But this... what Lorenth is offering...
"No one could hurt me again," I say slowly, testing the words. "If we're bonded."
"No one." The certainty in his voice is absolute. "I'd kill anyone who tried. And the bond would give you protections too—magical ones. My power would recognize you as part of me and shield you automatically."
Part of him. Not property. Not possession. Part of him.
The difference is staggering.
I look down at our joined hands. His are so much larger than mine, scarred from years of training and violence, but they've only ever touched me with gentleness. With care.
The bond pulses in my chest—quiet but insistent. Like it's waiting for me to acknowledge what it's been trying to tell me since the moment we met.
This is right. He's right. We're supposed to be together.
And isn't that what I wanted? When I snuck away to the Masquerade, when I kissed him in that lantern-lit garden, when I begged him to make me feel good—wasn't I wishing for exactly this? For someone who would choose me? Protect me? Love me?
I need to get out of my marriage. Need to be free of Darian legally, not just physically. And if I'm bonded to Lorenth... Darian has no claim anymore. No power. No control.
The fear is still there, sharp and insistent in my throat. Years of conditioning don't disappear overnight. But underneath it is something stronger.
Hope.
I lift my gaze to meet Lorenth's. "If we do this... if we complete the bond... I'm yours. Completely. Forever."
"Yes." No hesitation.
"And you're mine."
His lips curve into that slow, devastating smile. "Already am."
My heart stutters. Because he means it. I can see it in his eyes, feel it in the way his magic wraps around me like a protective embrace. He's already decided. Already chosen me.
Now I just have to be brave enough to choose him back.
I take a shaky breath. "Okay."
He goes very still. "Okay?"
"Yes." The word comes out stronger this time. "I want to bond with you."
For a moment, he just stares at me. Then he's pulling me into his arms, kissing me with a fervor that steals my breath. It's claiming and celebratory all at once, his joy bleeding through the bond and mixing with my own tentative happiness.
When we finally break apart, both of us breathing hard, he rests his forehead against mine.
"You won't regret this," he murmurs. "I swear to you, Senna. I'll spend every day proving you made the right choice."
I believe him.
Gods help me, I actually believe him.