Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
I stand and my tingling legs protest. Losing my balance, I sway and crash into the door.
“Ylva.”
The door swings inward and I hit a hard muscled chest masquerading as a brick wall. Powerful arms wrap around me, and I look into electric blue eyes.
“I need to see the Volva.”
“Not like this, you don’t,” Kirk appears to my right, one long slender finger titling my chin up. “Let me see your eyes.”
“I’m okay. My legs fell asleep from kneeling too long, I think.”
“You were in there for over an hour, Princess,” Bo says.
I look up, shocked. He hovers next to Fell a foot behind us.
“What? It felt like minutes.” My stomach growls.
“That’s it, we’re putting food into your belly and setting ground rules,” Cadoc swoops me into his arms.
Bo waves him off. “I’m not a fan of rules.”
“It wasn’t a request,” Cadoc reply holds a dark warning.
His energy fills the room, thickening the air. Bo grows quiet.
As the eldest with the most power, Cadoc is clearly taking control as head of our clan. The others could challenge him for the position, but it’d be a fruitless endeavor with Cadocs’ prowess and age.
Climbing the stairs, he walks me to the breakfast nook and sits he sits me on a tall expresso-colored stool.
“You stay put. Kirk, watch over her?”
“I’m on it,” Kirk takes a seat beside me.
“You two.” Cadoc motions to Fell and Bo. “Help me prepare dinner.”
Bo groans. “Why me?” He walks ahead into the kitchen fit for a chef. Bo’s green tunic stands out against his paler skin, making his dark hair stand out more.
Fell pauses. “You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine.” I don’t want his concern. He had years to care.
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Kirk lifts my arm and places two fingers on my pulse point on my wrist, effectively silencing me.
He knows I’ll throw the reading off If I speak. I roll my eyes as Fell lingers, hovering over me like he still has the right.
“Food won’t prepare itself, Fell,” Cadoc calls.
“Coming.” Fell moves away and I relax, admiring the shiny stainless-steel appliances and expensive kitchen gadgets.
The garlic press Cadoc is using looks like it could fund a week’s worth of meals in the college mess hall. The open concept helps us all remain connected, which I crave, despite the awkwardness.
My wolf’s missed being among our kind, and she is excited by the prospects of mates, even if we didn’t get to choose them for ourselves.
“Your pulse is good.” Kirk releases me. I immediately miss his warmth. “Do you feel dizzy?”
“No.” I frown.
“Any nausea or pain?” Kirk’s dark gaze is intense and full of emotions, I can’t read as he focuses all his attention on me.
“No.” I exhale, suddenly drained. The night is catching up with me. Shoulders slumping, I close my eyes.
“Ylva?” Kirk’s voice is concerned.
“Don’t worry. I just realized how exhausted I am.”
He chuckles. I close my eyes. I focus on the sound of chopping.
“That’s normal, given everything you’ve been through,” Kirk says.
“Where did this house come from?” I’m eager for a distraction from my hunger.
“It’s always been here. Alpha has gifted it to influential families in the past, but it’s been empty for some time.”
“Did you know about this?” I open my eyes and study his handsome face.
“No. I’m the last person the Alpha would’ve shared his plans with,” Kirk says with wry humor. It’s an odd statement for the man who was once responsible for our leader’s health.
“Why?” Fascinated by his stiffness I press forward.
“We didn’t part on the best terms,” Kirk says. What’s that supposed to mean?
“I know we’re all shocked by this match, but we need to adapt,” Cadoc interrupts my digging.
The scent of garlic and onion fills the air. Mouthwatering, I admire the boy’s ability to work as a unit.
Fell cuts the bread while Bo blends herbs and butter to create a spread. Cadoc adds ground beef to the pan and my stomach rumbles its approval.
“How do you suggest we do that?” Bo looks around. “None of us are friendly.”
“I’ve worked with Cadoc plenty of times over the years.” Kirk shrugs.
“Yeah, 'cause you’re both like pushing two-hundred years old.” Bo waves his butter knife at Kirk and Cadoc.
“I’m only one hundred and fifty.” Kirk protests. “Cadoc is the old man. He’s one-hundred and ninety”
“And aging gracefully,” Cadoc gives a mock bow.
“Good thing for you two geezers.” Bo jerks his face toward at Kirk and Cadoc.
Kirk sniffs. “You reek of jealousy.” He breaks of a bit of bread, and pitches it, hitting Bo directly in the forehead.
I giggle as the others chuckle.
“That’s how you want to play it?” Bo returns the favor.
“Enough with the food waste,” Cadoc cautions.
“Is that what you plan to do? Browbeat us into submission?” Bo sets the bowl down on the counter.
I tense as his animosity shifts the mood in the room.
Cadoc turns away from the gas stove, black spatula still in hand. “I will keep the order by any means necessary. How smooth that goes is up to each of us.”
He stares Bo down until the younger wolf looks away.
Part of me enjoys seeing the cocky man put in his place. Kirk shifts in his chair, looking uncomfortable. His eyes flicker to amber when his wolf briefly comes to the surface and retreats.
“Respect will be the foundation we build from. Without that, we can’t have much else,” Cadoc says.
“Respect is earned,” I wrinkle my nose.
“It’s a common courtesy,” Kirk replies.
“Between strangers, which we aren’t. Pretending we don’t have complicated pasts would be a mistake,” I toy with the soft material of the dress.
“And you call the shots then, Princess?” Bo asks with a sneer.
“Since I’m the reason we’re all here, I expect to have a lot of say in this arrangement,” I refuse to back down. Hands on the edge of the table, I lean forward taking up more space.
Cadoc nods his agreement.
“And you love that, don’t you?” Bo’s features twist, his normally angelic face becomes something angry and savage, almost demonic. “The misfit finally gets her comeuppance.”
I blow him a kiss and he snarls.
Cadoc growls. The knife in Fell’s hand clatters onto the thick cutting board in front of him. He spins to face Bo.
“Do not call her that.” Fell’s eyes glow and my heart swells at the protective gesture.
“You are not my alpha.” Bo’s says mockingly.
“I am her mate, and I won’t allow anyone to disrespect her.” Fell steps closer and Bo growls, barring his teeth.
“Take a walk, Jensen,” Cadoc barks. The alpha commands turns his voice hoarse, and tingles across my skin.
Bo stiffens and steps back robotically. Turning on his heel, he crosses the white tile floor to the back door.
“Well, that was unpleasant,” Kirk mumbles.
I snicker. “Understatement.”
“Fighting will only make this process more difficult.” Cadoc turns back to the stove.
“Communication is the only way we’ll navigate this cluster fuck.” I massage my temples to stave off an impending headache.
“And honesty,” Fell adds.
I snort. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“There’s a lot of feelings flying around. Being open about them seems wise,” Kirk tries to keep the peace.
“Ylva–”
I hold up my hand. “Not now, Fell. I’m hungry, exhausted, and trying not to spiral into a massive dumpster fire of a human.”
Fell presses his lips together and goes quiet.
“After we eat, I think a few minutes of one-on-one before we retire for the night would be wise,” Cadoc says.
I groan. It’s the last thing I want to do. Kirk moves closer. The healer has a tranquil vibe. I don’t mind him in my personal space.
I soak up the heat rolling off his body along with the momentary peace. The smell of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread blends as the meal comes together.
Cadoc dishes everything into serving bowls. Bo returns wearing a sullen expression and washes his hands.
“Better?” Cadoc asks. Bo gives a curt nod.
“Good. Take this to the bar, and I’ll grab the plates and silverware,” Cadoc directs him
The clink of forks on dishes fills the space that settles over us as we eat.
I welcome the break, focusing on the rich flavors that dance across my tastebuds. Devouring my food, my energy slowly returns.
Mentally and physically, I’ve been drug through the mud tonight. A few days ago, I was set to step into my dream life.
Now I have the weight of the world and the fate of my people resting on my shoulders.
Belly full and plate empty, I push back from the table.
“This was delicious, thank you. I’ll wash dishes because you guys cooked.” I gather the plates, ignoring the heavy weight of their eyes.
“We decided to have a few minutes of one-on-one with Ylva while you were gone,” Cadoc explains to Bo.
Bo crosses an ankle over his leg. “Who goes first?”
“I’ll go last. I want to check her one more time before she goes to sleep,” Kirk nods toward me.
“I’ll help with the dishes,” Fell stands gathering more dishes.
I shrug. Waiting won’t make our conversation any easier.
I turn on the faucet and focus on rinsing the plates.
“I’ll load,” he holds out his hands.
“Deal.”
Chairs scrape over the wooden floor and the others leave us alone. Music plays from the entertainment system in the living room. I appreciate the volume of the TV.
“I know this is the last thing you wanted for your life, but I’m glad you’re back,” Fell’s soft voice wafts over me. I want to sink into the concern I hear, but I can’t trust it.
I keep my heart hardened by replaying the rejection and depression that followed his ghosting in my mind.
The silence becomes cloying as we go through the motions completing the domestic task.
He tries once more to start the conversation.
“I never stopped missing you.”
“And whose fault is that?” I place a hand on my hip.
Fell grunts. “It was complicated.”
“Why? If you weren’t okay with a long-distance relationship, all you had to do was say something before I accepted my scholarship. I had plenty of options.”
“I know.”
His lack of response and the sour scent of regret reignite the anger I’ve never worked through.
I gape. “That’s all you have to say?”
“There are no words to fix things between us.” He fills the dishwasher soap dispenser.
“At least you recognize that,” I can’t keep the harshness from my words.
“I don’t regret having a second chance with you. What we had we so good.”
“I used to think that.” But you don’t abandon people you love the way I did with no explanation.
“Please don’t do that,” Fell’s voice shakes.
“Do what?” I hold my hands up as frustration knots my gut, and my annoyance grows.
“Doubt the validity of our love. I ruined everything. Not you,” he swallows, hard.
“Why can’t you explain it to me?” I hate the desperation in my voice.
“It doesn’t matter why?—”
“It might.”
“Agree to disagree.” The tight set of his jaw reflects his regret.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Four years is a long time. You’re not the only one who’s changed, or been through difficult times.”
There’s a darkness in him that wasn’t there before. Turning from me, he shuts the dishwasher and starts it.
“I made what I thought was the best choice. That doesn’t mean I didn’t suffer for it. But some things can’t be stopped once they’re put into motion.”
“You never even tried—.” My voice cracks. Remorse flashes in his eyes before he looks away, and I feel abandoned all over again.
A throat clears, breaking the tension.
“Time’s up, Princess,” Bo calls from the other room.
Fell tenses. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He walks away without looking back. I watch, unable to speak around the massive knot in my throat.
“That looked unpleasant,” Bo jerks his head toward Fell’s retreating figure.
“Astute observation, Jensen.”
“Don’t shoot the innocent bystander,” Bo lifts his hands. “I’m not fond of you, and I know that feeling is very mutual.”
“I loathe you,” I correct him.
“Hmm. Unfortunately for us, none of that matters.” Bo’s face loses its mirth. “I don’t plan on being miserable for the rest of my life.”
“Neither do I.”
“Good, we agree on something. I won’t ask you to forget about our past, because I won’t.”
I blink, startled by his blunt approach.
“Common ground is the best thing we can do for now. I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not, but I’ll never treat you the way I used to again.” I hear the honesty in Bo’s words.
I blink, surprised by his maturity. I expected to catch hell from him.
“You look shocked,” he lifts an eyebrow and chuckles.
“Because I am.” It’s strange when you see another side of your tormentor. I’m not sure I like viewing him as human.
“Neither of us knows the other really.” He shrugs.
“You’re right.” The admission is painful. I don’t want to be in agreeance with him. I’ve never hated being the bigger person as much as I do right now.
“Keep talking dirty to me like that, and we’ll get along just fine.”
“You would get off on being told you’re right. That’s the Bo Jensen I know.”
He bows. “At your service. You landed a catch, you know?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“And you?” I lean against the counter.
“I got a sexy wolf who’s due to come into a position of power.” He shrugs. “A wolf could do worse.”
“Did you take a walk or have a personality transplant?” I muse aloud.
Bo laughs. “Jensen’s play the long game. We weigh things out and make sure we wind up on top. You belong to me now, so that includes you.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.”
He laughs. “You don’t still believe that, do you?”
My temper flares. I push off the counter and step into his bubble. “I know so.”
“Hate to break up the party, but it’s my turn.” Cadoc’s voice is as smooth as whiskey. His confidence is attractive as hell.
“Saved by the bell, Princess.” Bo winks. “I look forward to finding those commonalities.”
He walks away and I growl.
“Interesting talk?” Cadoc voice holds a teasing note.
“You could say that.” I face him. In some ways, this is more difficult because I once knew him so well in a different role.
“This is an enormous shift for us, huh?” He gives me a rakish, carefree smile and I giggle. “You think?”
“As far as I’m concerned, we’re both consenting adults. I’ve always been protective of you.” He steps closer and tucks some stray hair behind my ear. “It’s just going to be in a different way now.”
I sigh. “This is fucked up, Cadoc.”
“Only if we let it be.” He palms the side of my neck. “We’ll take it as slow as we can, but we both know the sands in the hourglass are running
I nod.
“I have your back the same way I always did. Trust me?” he asks.
“I want to, but I can’t forget that you took me from the life I wanted.”
“I asked to lead that team to assure your safety,” he admits. “I don’t regret that, but I knew it
would cause problems in our relationship. I accept that. I’m sorry it hurt you, but your safety will always come first.”
“You chose to come get me?” I whisper.
He sniffs. “I didn’t trust anyone else.”
I soften as I remember the aggression and disrespect from other enforcers on the retrieval mission. His instincts were right.
He takes my hand. “Never forget we’re in this together.”
“I won’t.” I’m reassured by his steady presence, despite my misgivings.
“You set the pace, and I’ll follow your lead.” His word has always been trustworthy.
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.
A throat clears. “It’s getting late and someone needs to be in bed soon.”
Cadoc chuckles, and I scowl at Kirk.
“Yes, Healer,” he says. Squeezing my hand, Cadoc kisses my forehead and steps away. “Sweet dreams.”
I admire the fit of his breeches under the brown tunic as he leaves. The man has the thighs of a rugby player.
“Are you still feeling okay?” Kirk trails the back of his knuckles down his arm.
“Yes, the food helped a lot.”
“Good.”
His shoulders relax, and I admire his toned physique. His black tunic is snug over his biceps and muscular chest.
“My life has always been healing. I saw it as my purpose, so I’m rusty in the relationship department.”
Clearing my throat, I give a shaky smile. “It’s been a while for me too.”
He grins. The wide smile shows off perfect pearly whites. I can’t help but swoon a little.
“Guess we’re on equal footing, then. I like that.” He gives me a slow once over.
He curls his hand around the back of his neck. “There are some questions I need to ask as a medical precaution given our mating is approaching.”
Mating with one wolf is daunting. Four is going to be terrifying.
I gulp. “Go ahead.”
“Are you a virgin?”
I laugh at the unexpected question. “No. Fell took care of that ages ago.”
He sighs in relief. “Okay, that’s good. I mean, it’s going to make things easier.”
I love the respect he’s trying to show me.
“I know what you mean,” I say.
“Have you ever taken a knot?”
“No. Back then, Fell and I wanted to save that for our mating,” I admit.
He winces. “I’m sorry.”
“Shit happens, right?” I force a wobbly smile.
“Doesn’t make it hurt any less or make it easier to live through.” There’s a deep sadness in his voice. I see a wealth of devastation in his eyes. This man understands loss.
“True. I’m not sure what you want from me, Kirk.” I lay the cards on the table, ready to make things as clear as possible. There are too many of us involved, to be coy.
“A companion, friendship, and later more.” He tilts his head. “This isn’t going to be a duty for me. I want to make it real.”
“I think we can get there in time.” I answer honestly.
“For now, that’s plenty. Time for you to rest,” His voice changes, like some internal flip switches and he becomes more like his stereotypical alpha designation.
“Are you always this bossy, Kirk?” I tease.
“Only when it comes to health matters,” he says.
“I don’t think that’s reassuring.”
“We promised to be honest with each other, right?” He guides me out of the kitchen to the stairs.
Day one in our home, and no one died. I’m going to call it a win.