Chapter 18
Survii
Beautiful. Strong and beautiful and aroused. That rush of blood in her face had darkened her skin further, made her eyes brighter. Her lips were bigger. Her chest was heaving. She looked like a female ready to be fucked, and he was eager to please.
And his cock was properly hard and prepared to do just that. His knot was aching, beginning to swell so he could seal her cunt as he flooded her with his seed. A desperate, driving urge to breed his female beating at his mind.
And he still didn't even want pups!
Maybe her pups though…
He couldn’t help but imagine her in his room on the Jutiron Stor.
Set up exactly as it was on his ship – a smaller but no less luxurious cruiser that took him around to different planets in the course of his job.
She would love it, he was sure. It was too easy to picture her there. In his den. In his bed.
In a nest that she made for them.
He might have been too forward, taking a kiss the way he did. He had surrendered the right to do so in his foolishness. His consolation was that she had kissed him back – at least initially.
Maybe it was as Hattie said. Maybe he hadn’t destroyed their mating beyond repair. Maybe he could see her smiling again, the way she was meant to.
No. He would see her smiling again. Even if it wasn’t with him. He had to make this better. He had to erase the hurt he caused.
And maybe win his mate back.
His mate.
That’s what she was. And he was a fool for trying to deny it for so long.
He offered her a congenial smile as he checked her head for any lumps. There was no damage that he could see. He maybe took a little too long looking. Admiring the neatness of her braids. The slope of her neck. The curve of those bountiful breasts.
What did his human female look like under her clothes? He didn't know. Humans were so careful to keep their bodies hidden – at least their breasts and slits. A shame, because they were gorgeous.
Though, maybe that wasn’t so bad. Because if other males could see those parts of his female, he might get angry. He would get angry. He was getting angry just thinking about it.
He was getting jealous.
It was such a foreign emotion, he was surprised out of it just from recognition. Strange. Not exactly pleasant, but something that felt exactly right.
Why would he have gotten jealous over any of his past pleasure mates?
They were friends only – and some not even that.
He had introduced some of them to their mates, more to different pleasure mates, he had even attended mating ceremonies for others.
Why should he be jealous of them? They weren’t his. Not the way Alanna was his.
His mate.
The knowledge of it finally settled into his brain. Like a rock sinking through a deep lake coming to rest on the bottom.
He was jealous because Alanna was his. His female. His mate.
A shiver went through him as the force of that realization hit him over the back of the head. Constricted in his chest. What his instincts already knew, his brain finally accepted.
And it was painful because she was giving him such a fierce, guarded expression after she had hurt herself trying to escape his kiss. The knowledge of which set guilt bubbling in his gut. His female should never be so desperate to get away from him.
But he had done that to her.
This distance between them was his fault.
Because he was so desperately clinging to something that he didn't even want anymore.
That he would never want again. No female would ever be able to satisfy him, and the satisfaction he had received before would be nothing compared to what would come after.
His life had two distinct parts – before Alanna and after.
The after was going to be better.
Just as soon as he fixed this mistake.
“We need to lay some ground rules, I think,” she said, straightening the clothes she had mussed by rubbing her body along his.
“Ground rules?” He growled at the very concept.
Not angry.
Eager.
He wanted her ground rules. He wanted her to put up hurdles for him to pass through. He had made a mistake and seeing her enforcing boundaries because of it made him proud. Because it spoke to her strength of character.
And it challenged him.
He wanted rules. So he could skirt and break them. He wanted her walls so he could get around and under and through them. He was hungry to see her reticence melt into pleasure and trust and love in his arms as he won her over.
And he would win her over.
He was determined now.
Because she was his. And the idea of earning her, of being worthy of her, was everything.
“We’re going to be working closely together,” she said, giving him her smile. That fake one he couldn’t wait to never see again. “So, we’re going to have to be polite and friendly to each other.”
“I’ve no problems at all being your friend, vi Vitralai,” he growled suggestively.
She cleared her throat, turning her darkening face from him. “Yes. Me too. Friends, I mean. We both want what’s best for Earth and for this protectorate deal to go through.”
He wanted it more than ever before. Because if Earth was allowed to trade with the universe, even on a limited basis, then Alanna could have access to things she loved from home. If Earth became a protectorate, then they would be open to visitors and comms and more.
That would make her happy, he knew.
“Of course,” he agreed, gaze distracted by the white and shiny satin of her shirt, in such direct contrast to the sleek darkness of her skin. He bet he could undo those buttons with his tongue.
She swallowed and licked her lips, a small sound escaping her throat as she shifted her weight. Still smiling but acting uncomfortable. She smiled, no matter what. A defense mechanism? Or a way to hide from others?
He didn’t know, but he would find out.
“I don’t know why you said what you did,” she said, shaking her head. “Whether I’m your mate or not… Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. You’ve made your preferences known, and I respect that. And I hope you respect mine.”
Survii took her chin, resting it on a finger, petting it with his thumb. The movement seemed to surprise her because her mouth parted, and he could practically see the thoughts flee her mind. He rather liked it that way.
Mindless and open and beautiful. He bet that expression was even prettier when she wore it, and nothing else, in his bed – her nest.
“I can guarantee very little,” he said, stepping closer until her chest was pressed against his, so he could look directly down into her shining eyes – vibrant even in the artificial lights.
She didn’t push him away this time. “What I can promise you, vi Vitralai, is that nothing that happens between us will ever affect what happens in our duty to your Earth. That will be my first priority, and nothing that we do or do not do will change how hard I will work for your planet.”
He saw her lips move, but her thoughts hadn’t returned. She was struck dumb by him. And wasn’t that just adorable?
“I may lie to myself,” he continued on a whisper, making her lean in a bit, as though desperate to hang on his every word. “But I will never, and I have never, lied to you.”
He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. Wanting more, but not wanting her to feel like she had to push him away again. Even that seemed to startle her thoughts back into function and he pulled back.
He smiled at her as she blinked quickly. He could see her gathering her thoughts and trying to come up with an appropriate reaction. Not quickly enough.
“See you out there, vi Vitralai,” he said, chuckling as he left her to compose herself. Though it took every ounce of his strength not to run back and prove his words.
He had already made a liar of himself once. He couldn’t force anything now. This was going to have to be something he worked for.
He looked forward to it.