Chapter 23
MATHEW
Mathew clenched his fists before whirling around to face the one person he hadn’t expected to see again.
Ever.
Victoria peered up at him, her smile chagrined. “Mathew, I wanted—”
“Save it. What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That. What you said. You called yourself my wife!”
She blinked a few more times as her cheeks bloomed with color. Then she glanced at the ground and rocked back on her heels. “Oh. That. Sorry.”
“Sorry? Do you have any idea the kind of damage you just caused?” This couldn’t be happening.
River didn’t even know about Victoria or the way things had ended.
And now he was going to have to explain why he’d kept his marriage and divorce secret.
He hadn’t exactly meant to keep that part of his life private when it came to River.
It hadn’t come up, and he’d allowed himself to push down all the bad memories.
He nearly forgot about them entirely until Victoria had arrived.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and forced his voice to remain calm. “What are you doing here, Victoria?” The flowers hung limply in his hand, and he forced himself to look her in the eye. “What possible reason did you have to come track me down?”
Her eyes flashed with defensiveness and her shoulders tightened, giving him a glimpse of the woman he recognized. “You weren’t answering any of my calls. Or my messages.”
“That’s because we’re divorced. Anything you need from me can be handled through our lawyers. I don’t have anything to say to you.” He spat the words out, then immediately regretted the harsh tone of his voice when he noticed her eyes welling with tears.
This wasn’t the same woman he’d divorced. She was looking more like the woman he’d fallen in love with.
Vulnerable. In need of someone to love her. That side of her had never truly gone away after they’d gotten married, but she’d hidden it behind a wall of ice so thick that no amount of marriage counseling would have been able to penetrate it.
His muscles relaxed and his voice softened. He’d hash out whatever it was she needed to speak about, and then he’d send her on her way. Maybe this was the closure both of them needed.
“Can we… get some coffee or something?”
Mathew hesitated. Every instinct told him to shut this down and go after River instead. But Victoria was standing in front of him in tears, and if he walked away now, there was no telling what scene she might make next.
Rose had left to take care of River, and he had to have faith that she’d be able to talk River into chatting with him when he could make his way over there.
Rose was one of the only people besides his siblings that he could trust in this respect.
She knew how much River meant to him. She wouldn’t mess this up.
He exhaled slowly. Ten minutes. He could give her ten minutes, end this cleanly, and then go find River.
“There’s a coffee shop right there,” he said, nodding down the street. “Ten minutes.”
Victoria’s shoulders loosened. “Okay.”
They ordered their drinks and found a small table away from the comings and goings of those in the shop.
Victoria actually looked nervous. The way she shifted in her seat and darted to look at anything but him brought back memories of the first date they’d gone on.
They’d both been nervous. Him, because she was the prettiest girl he’d ever met.
And her… well, she’d once said that she’d been crushing on him from the first moment she’d laid eyes on him, which was at a party thrown by mutual friends.
Friends that she managed to keep in the divorce.
That ugly feeling returned to his chest, spreading its black vines through the cavity where his heart was just starting to form again. He had to mentally remind himself that he owed Victoria nothing beyond the alimony he paid her. Coffee was a courtesy he could offer her.
Yes, just a courtesy.
“Victoria.” He kept his voice low and even. “What’s going on?”
Her eyes filled again. “I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”
Mathew frowned. “What do you mean?”
She twisted the napkin in her lap until it nearly tore. “I should never have let you walk away. I complained far too much and I…”
His pulse kicked hard once, then went oddly cold.
During the divorce, they’d been civil. Controlled.
Not once had she fought for him to stay.
Not once had she reached for him like this.
She’d hired the best lawyer she could, kept the apartment, protected her trust, and made sure she landed on her feet.
He’d signed what needed signing because he’d wanted the whole thing over.
And now this?
“What?” he said, quieter this time.
A sob caught in her throat, and a few heads turned. Mathew leaned forward instinctively, lowering his voice even more. “Victoria. Breathe.”
She nodded, dabbed at her eyes, and forced a sad smile. “We were good once, weren’t we?”
For a second, memory tried to answer for him.
They had been. Once.
But once had not been enough to save them.
Victoria reached across the table and set her hand over his. “I’ve been thinking about us. About the way things were before.”
He didn’t want to hear this. As much as Mathew didn’t want to admit it, there was still a sliver of his heart that had refused to believe his first marriage was a complete failure. That sliver was to blame whenever he got nostalgic and thought about the good times they’d once had.
But that sliver had been suspiciously quiet ever since River entered his life.
River.
Mathew looked down at her hand, then gently but firmly pulled his away as he shook his head. “No, Victoria.”
Hurt flashed across her face. “But you have to admit—”
“I don’t have to admit anything.” His voice stayed calm, but the steel in it surprised even him. “We weren’t good together. Not in the way that mattered.”
Her mouth trembled. “But we could be now.”
He shook his head again. “I’m not the man I was when I married you. I’ve changed.”
“I can tell. And I’ve changed too. Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves—”
“The only thing I owe you is the check I sign every month.”
Victoria flinched again, but this time he held his ground.
“I don’t know what you expected, blindsiding me like this, but it isn’t going to work. I’ll always care about you. I can’t just turn that side of myself off. But I don’t love you anymore. Not like that.”
Victoria flinched, and this time he made himself hold the line.
Slowly, he stood. “I need to go.”
He had barely made it outside before she followed him.
“This is about that woman, isn’t it?”
He stopped and turned. The softness in her voice was gone now, stripped away so fast it was almost dizzying. In its place was the cold, clipped edge he remembered too well.
“That’s none of your business,” he said.
Victoria folded her arms. “She’s not good enough for you, Mathew.”
Anger moved through him, hot and immediate. “You don’t even know her.”
“But I know her type. The clothes. The dirt under her fingernails. That girl is a Cinderella story waiting to happen. She’s just biding her time until you sweep her off her feet and turn her into the princess she’s always dreamed of becoming.”
For one stunned second, he could only stare at her.
Then he gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “You really don’t understand her at all.”
Victoria’s eyes narrowed.
“River doesn’t want rescuing. She doesn’t need polishing up. And she sure doesn’t need someone like you deciding who she is from across a sidewalk.”
Color crept into Victoria’s cheeks.
Mathew stepped closer, not threatening, just enough to let her know he was serious. “Whatever story you came here to tell yourself, leave her out of it.”
She looked away first.
He let out a slow breath. “Goodbye, Victoria. Don’t show up like this again. If there’s anything left to handle, it can go through our lawyers.”
Then he turned and walked away, every step heavier with the knowledge that an even harder conversation was still waiting for him.
“You need to let me see her,” Mathew said, his voice rougher than he intended, but Emerson didn’t flinch. His arms were folded, and his expression was set hard.
“Not unless she says she wants to.”
Mathew’s grip tightened around the flowers, crushing the paper around the stems. “I need a chance to explain. I need her to know what really happened.”
“If that was so important, you would have been here a lot sooner,” Emerson snapped.
Mathew’s stomach dropped. There was no arguing with that. Emerson was right. He should’ve told Victoria he had nothing to say and made River the priority.
Instead, he’d made the worst possible choice at the worst possible time.
Rose stepped out of the apartment and headed down the stairs. Mathew’s eyes followed her, searching for any indication that River would be open to a conversation. He couldn’t read a single thing in his cousin’s expression.
He found nothing.
His voice came out lower now, frayed at the edges. “Please. Just let me talk to her. I can explain.”
“Explain what?” Rose demanded. “That you were married? That you got divorced? Because unfortunately, she found that out from Penny instead of you.”
The accusation landed like a blow. He should have told River. He knew that now with a clarity that made him sick.
Rose stopped at the bottom step, disappointment written plain across her face. “You need to go. And for now, I think it’s better if you don’t come back for a while.”
His eyes widened. “Rose—”
“No.” Her voice sharpened. “I trusted you with her. I thought you would be honest with her. You weren’t.”
“I planned to tell her when the time was right,” he said, though even to his own ears the words sounded weak.
Emerson shifted forward. “She asked for space. Respect that.”
Mathew looked from one to the other, anger, panic, and regret tangling so tightly in his chest he could barely sort one from the next.
Finally, he thrust the flowers toward Emerson. “These are for her,” he said. “The florist said they should last a while as long as someone changes the water.”
Emerson took them without comment.
Mathew turned and headed for his car before anyone could see just how badly his hands were shaking.
Bad.
Then worse.
That was how his day had gone.
He was dead tired, but all he wanted was to pull River into his arms, kiss her temple, and tell her he’d fix this somehow.