Chapter 28
RIVER
“Stop fidgeting. You’re the one who wanted this, remember?”
River shot Rose a look. Rose hadn’t stopped smirking since hearing about the date. “Why do you look so pleased with yourself? I thought you were mad at Mathew.”
“Mad? Sure.” Rose crossed her arms and leaned against the counter.
“Do I agree with what he did? Absolutely not. Will I hold it over his head for the foreseeable future?” She paused, then flashed a sly grin.
“Probably. He made a terrible choice by not telling you about his divorce. But no, I don’t hate him. ”
River stilled and turned fully toward her. “You don’t?”
Rose laughed. “No. In fact, from the moment I met you, I thought you two would be perfect for each other.”
“What?”
“You had chemistry right away,” Rose said, like it was obvious. “And you’re different enough to challenge each other. Opposites attract. That’s not a bad thing.”
“I guess.”
Rose crossed the room and rested her hands on River’s shoulders. “He’ll be here in a few minutes. You two are going on your second first date, and then you’ll decide what to do next.”
Deep down, River already knew her answer.
She’d hidden just how miserable she’d been over the last several weeks. Of course, Rose and Emerson were better at reading her than they let on, so for all she knew, they’d seen right through her from the start.
She wasn’t proud of how long it had taken her to work through everything. Every time she convinced herself she’d been too hard on Mathew, another part of her insisted she’d only get hurt if she rushed it. There were risks involved when it came to opening up to someone.
Whether intentional or not, Mathew had hidden something huge from her. Trust wasn’t something she could rebuild overnight.
A knock at the door startled her, and only then did she realize Rose had still been talking.
Rose leaned to peek out the window. “It’s Emerson.”
River released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding, earning an amused glance from Rose, who opened the door and announced, “She’s freaking out.”
Emerson stepped inside and frowned at River. “You know, you don’t actually have to go if you don’t want to.”
Rose gave him a shove. “She’s the one who asked him, remember? Don’t start sabotaging this.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked him over. “You’re dressed nice. Going somewhere?”
River’s gaze flicked between them. Was there an edge of jealousy hinted in her tone? Or was it more curiosity?
Emerson shifted. “I… asked Penny if she’d go to Jason’s wedding with me.”
Rose gasped.
River’s eyes widened. “Penny, as in Mathew’s sister?”
Emerson dragged a hand through his hair, and the look on his face told River all she needed to know.
Rose and River both spoke at once.
“What did she say?”
Rose turned to River, then back to him. “She said no?”
He shook his head yes. The disappointment in his eyes tugged hard at River’s heart. She hadn’t seen him show any real interest in a woman since she’d been there. It stung to know the first time he tried, it hadn’t gone well.
“Were you two getting close?” River asked more quietly.
Rose let out a short laugh. “Close? They’ve had coffee a few times.”
Emerson coughed, cheeks going red. “A few times, yes. I thought maybe it was heading somewhere. Turns out she just sees me as a friend.” He glanced away. “Apparently, there’s someone else.”
Another gasp flew out of Rose. “Who?”
He shrugged. “She didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. I got out of there before I embarrassed myself any further.”
Rose stepped forward and hugged him. Over her shoulder, she shared a look with River. For all his attempts at playing it off, this had clearly bruised his pride.
When Rose pulled back, Emerson let out a short, self-deprecating laugh. “It’s fine. Really. More of a hit to the ego than anything else.” Then he smirked at Rose. “Your cousin is hot, though.”
Rose’s eyes widened. She smacked him in the chest with the back of her hand. “Please don’t let Mathew hear you say that.”
He laughed, and this time Rose and River both joined in.
Then Emerson turned to River and looked her up and down in exaggerated appraisal. “I suppose I should keep my mouth shut about how hot you look too, seeing as you’re going out with Mathew.”
River rolled her eyes at him. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And so are you if you’re this nervous.” He met her gaze. “You’re going to be fine. The guy is clearly crazy about you. All you have to do is stop fighting what you already know.”
Rose arched a brow. “Didn’t realize you were such a romantic.”
Emerson gave her an exaggerated wink. “If the right woman comes along, I might surprise you.”
A knock sounded at the door.
The distraction had been nice while it lasted. River’s nerves flooded back in all at once. She took a slow breath, smiled at her friends, and opened the door.
Mathew stole the air right out of her lungs.
He was wearing a pair of dark blue slacks and a white button-down that was open at the collar, with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He was clean-shaven, his hair brushed back, and his hazel eyes took her in like he hadn’t seen her in years instead of days.
“Hey,” he said, low and warm.
“Hey,” she whispered back.
“Well, have fun on your date,” Emerson announced as he slipped past them and headed down the stairs. Rose followed more quietly, but not before squeezing River’s hand.
“You ready?” Mathew asked.
River nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
And they left.
Mathew drove her to a secluded picnic area that had been transformed with strings of lights suspended from poles he had clearly set up himself.
A blanket lay spread over the grass beside a basket and a bucket of ice holding sparkling cider.
It was romantic in a way that would have embarrassed her to admit she liked as much as she did.
River didn’t trust herself to speak when he asked what she thought, so she simply wandered toward the blanket and sat down.
That was when she saw them.
The flowers.
A fresh arrangement of the same unusual blooms he’d given her on the day everything had gone wrong.
By all rights, the sight of them should have dragged her straight back to that awful moment.
Instead, as her fingertips brushed the edge of one petal, all she felt was hope.
She felt him staring at her, uncertain.
She glanced up with a small smile. “Did I ever tell you that these are my favorite?”
His brows rose. “They are? I’d never even seen them before that…” He didn’t have to finish that statement. Before that day. River shook her head, returning her gaze to the bouquet.
“Me neither.”
“But you just said…”
A quiet laugh escaped her. “They became my favorite, after that day.” Her eyes lifted to his again, and so much seemed to pass between them without a single word. “I don’t think I ever really told you about my childhood.”
“Yes, you did, you told me you were in the foster system.”
“I told you that part, yes.” She drew in a slow breath. “But I never told you how it affected me.”
Mathew sat down across from River, giving her his full attention.
“I was three when I was abandoned,” she said.
“Eventually, they found my parents, and surprise, they didn’t want me.
” The words still hurt, even now. “After that, I got passed around from house to house, and somewhere along the way I started to realize I was always the outsider. The temporary one. The one people could live without.”
Her throat tightened, but she pushed through it.
“I spent most of my life being put last. Foster families, jobs, people in general… there was never anything that felt safe enough to build around.” She looked at him then, forcing herself not to look away. “Not until you.”
He sucked in a quiet breath.
River blinked back the sting in her eyes.
“I’m telling you this because I need you to understand me.
I need you to understand why it was so hard to let you in.
” Her voice shook, but she didn’t stop. “And when work kept pulling you away, and then your ex showed up…” She took a steadying breath.
“Every fear I’ve ever had came rushing back. ”
Mathew reached for her hand, and she let him take it.
“I figured if I left first,” she whispered, “it wouldn’t hurt as much. And if you let me go, then… maybe that would prove what I’ve always believed.”
Mathew squeezed her hand. “But I did fight for you.”
Her smile trembled. “You did.”
He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” She let out a shaky laugh. “None of my childhood was your fault.”
“That doesn’t mean my heart can’t ache for the girl who had to live through it.” His gaze held hers. “And for the woman who still carries it.” He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “I think I’m falling in love with you, River. Maybe faster than I should. Maybe deeper than makes sense. But I am.”
She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. “Sometimes I can’t believe you’re real.”
A soft laugh escaped him. “I was just thinking the same about you.” He tilted his head. “Want to play a game?”
Her eyes narrowed with playful suspicion. “What kind of game?”
“Rapid-fire truth or dare. Without the dare.”
River snorted. “So… twenty questions.”
His mouth twitched. “Are you going to play with me or not?”
She pretended to consider it. “Fine. You first.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Are you falling for me?”
Her breath caught.
Then she smiled.
“Yes.”