Chapter 35
ELIZABETH
Matteo is nowhere to be seen when I come out of the shower.
At first I tell myself it’s fine. He needs space. I need space. We’re just adjusting to one another. A lot has gone on.
First Vlad, then Takumi.
I know he has questions, but I'm not ready to give him the answers.
The hours stretch as I busy myself, turning on my laptop, logging remotely onto the work servers and checking the security dashboards. Matteo and I both brought our laptops. Work never fully switches off, even when we pretend it does.
At least it keeps my mind off where Matteo might be. I check my texts. Then get up and check my outfit for the wedding. Then check my texts again.
Soon it will be time for us to leave for the barbecue tonight. I try not to watch the clock, but I do it anyway. Then I check for texts again, then go back to my laptop, feeling restless.
Stop. Start. Stop. Start.
Unable to focus, I reach for my phone again, Matteo’s name hovers there, but I can't bring myself to press the call button.
What would I even say?
Where are you? Why did you leave? Are we okay?
I refuse to be relegated to the role of an insecure … what is it that I am to him? I'm not sure, because we haven't talked about that. I didn't introduce him as my boyfriend to Takumi, either.
What are we?
I don’t know the answer.
Instead I call Arthur and Irene, checking in on them, feeling grounded as soon as I hear their familiar voices. Then I return to my phone, then my laptop, all the while pausing, listening, waiting for him to walk through the door while I pretend to be busy.
An hour later there’s still no sign of him, so I start to get ready slowly, hoping he'll turn up soon. I try not to think too hard about what tonight is going to be. Or tomorrow.
Vlad and Matteo in the same space, with Takumi and 'the others' around.
What have I let myself in for?
I get into the dress I’ve chosen to wear tonight, but struggle to do it up at the back, so I leave it half undone. I start to put on a touch of makeup, then panic as I see the time. I don't want us to be late, and we are already cutting it fine.
Matteo finally appears thirty minutes before we’re due to leave. He walks in like nothing has happened. Doesn't offer an explanation either, and mutters that he'll be quick.
“Where were you?” I ask, feeling relieved, but also annoyed.
He doesn’t look at me straight away. “Needed some air.”
“I can’t zip up my dress. Can you help, please?” I turn around, showing him my mostly bare back. I’m anticipating something, but he simply zips up my dress and walks away. Then he strips naked and heads for the shower.
He offers no explanation, and I don’t chase it because I don’t want another scene. I don’t want more tension between us. So I walk back into the bedroom, and start combing my hair, trying to breathe slowly, hoping to steady myself.
He's out quickly, a towel wrapped around his damp skin as he moves past me toward the wardrobe, detached and silent.
I hate this already.
Earlier today we’d been laughing together and wandering through the city as though we were the only ones here. Now it feels like we’re strangers sharing a hotel suite.
Is this what being with Matteo will be like—moments of happiness followed by stretches of painful silence and misery?
I can't take days of this.
I just can’t.
He starts rifling through his closet and pulls out some clothes. Black T, black blazer, black jeans. Those will go perfectly with my black dress. We look like we’re going to a funeral, not a pre-wedding party.
“Vlad’s sending a car at seven.” I remind him.
“Okay.”
He doesn’t turn around.
I'm already dreading the barbecue tonight, and the thought of tomorrow's wedding makes my stomach sink.
If Matteo and I can't make it through one afternoon without fighting, how are we supposed to survive an entire day surrounded by people who know me?
People who know things about my life that I haven't told him.
Every time someone mentions my past, I see the questions gathering behind his eyes.
I sit on the edge of the bed for a second, then stand, then sit again, restless, and unsure of how to get through this.
He starts to get dressed, so I walk away, needing space between us. There are still two more days to suffer after the wedding. Days of mingling with false smiles and pretending that all is okay.
I consider cutting the trip short, but realize I can't. That would make Matteo even more suspicious and Vlad would be offended.
I’m trapped in a mess I can’t get out of.
***
The view is spectacular as we step out of the sleek black Mercedes. We're high on a cliff top, in a beautiful venue overlooking the Adriatic.
The sea glitters under the setting sun. Guests in elegant dresses and linen shirts mill around, while servers with champagne flutes on trays weave through the crowd. Lanterns are strung up in the air, and long wooden tables are laden with mouthwatering food.
The scent of meat roasting over open flames suddenly reminds me of how hungry I am.
Our hands accidentally brush as we survey the scene in front of us. For a moment my heart floats and I feel hopeful. Then, catching me completely unawares, Matteo wraps his hand around mine and the tension in my muscles vanishes.
I glance at him.
He smiles back, and I can’t help but smile back. The mood lifts and I suddenly feel lighter.
“Let’s enjoy this evening,” he says, his words making me so happy I could shower him with a thousand kisses. He has every right to be mad at me, but somehow he always finds a way to meet me halfway.
“I would like that.”
It’s a beautiful evening, a happy occasion, and I don’t want to be in another lousy mood. I look up to see Vlad walking towards us, hand in hand with a woman I instantly know is his fiancé, Valentina. She’s stunning, and elegant; everything I’d expect Vlad’s girlfriend to be.
“Elizabeth, Matteo.” Vlad’s gaze flicks between us. “You made it.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Matteo says, his tone at odds with his words.
“You must be Valentina.” I smile at the glamorous woman in front of me.
“Elizabeth. I have been looking forward to meeting you.” She acknowledges Matteo with a gracious smile.
We go to shake hands, but it doesn’t seem appropriate. It doesn’t seem enough. So we hug one another, even though I know nothing about her, and I expect she knows nothing about me.
“So good of you to come, and right on time.” Vlad glances at his watch. He gesticulates around. “There is food and drink, so, please, enjoy. This is very low-key, just close friends and acquaintances.”
“Not too late a night, darling. We need to be ready for tomorrow.” Valentina rests her hand on Vlad’s chest. It’s impossible to miss the canary yellow diamond glinting on her finger; it’s the size of a small ice cube.
“Wow.” I take her hand and gawk at it. “It’s … so big.” I look up at her in awe, and she nods, in agreement, holding out her hand and admiring it.
“It is big,” Matteo remarks. I can instantly tell he doesn’t like it.
“Takumi was asking about you earlier,” Vlad offers, causing my insides to drop.
I’ve been thinking about this, and I’ve concluded that Vlad has told Valentina about his past, which goes some way to explaining why his guard is down and why he doesn’t watch what he says.
My life and my future depend on me keeping my past in the shadows.
But what if I told Matteo the truth?
Would it really be so bad? Because my past doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. It’s his father who doesn’t need to know. Matteo trusts me and he would understand,
“We ran into him earlier,” Matteo confesses, pulling me from my thoughts.
“You met him?” Vlad asks, while I try to give him a look, try to tell him to change the subject.
“I had the pleasure of it. He remembers Chicago fondly,” Matteo replies.
“Chicago?” Vlad looks at us.
“He’s into crypto now,” I say, interrupting.
“Crypto and maybe a few projects with me,” Vlad says. I blink. That’s a revelation. I had no idea what Takumi was up to, and it seems now that he’s working with Vlad.
Dread crawls up along my spine. Every conversation tonight feels like a landmine, and I'm scared of bringing up a shared memory, of saying the wrong thing, treading where I shouldn't be, and having it all blow up in my face.
I can practically feel Matteo's curiosity growing with every new piece of information, every half-answer and every connection he doesn't understand.
“Darling, I need to check in on my sister.” Valentina tells Vlad, then, “I hope we can talk later,” she says to me, before blowing me and Matteo a kiss and disappearing. Vlad’s gaze stays on her, with something close to adoration.
The man is deeply in love and this is something I’ve not seen before.
For as long as I've known him, Vlad has kept his private life locked down tighter than any server he'd ever built. He checked in on me regularly and always made sure I was okay, but whenever the conversation drifted toward his own life, he'd change the subject. He’s never talked about girlfriends before, and I’ve never known him to let anyone get close to him.
That’s why news of his wedding came as such a shock. He’s always been so composed and measured, but now, with Valentina, he seems stripped down, bare and vulnerable.
“The ring is monstrous,” he says, shaking his head. “And too big, but she loves it.”
“How did you meet?” Matteo asks. My attention snaps to him, because he’s asking a lot of questions. Personal questions of people he doesn’t know well enough to ask such questions of.
Vlad smiles. “At a children's rehabilitation center.”
I blink. “What?”
“Valentina was volunteering there while finishing her physiotherapy training, and I was helping to fund some new equipment.”
I just stare at him because nothing about that answer fits the Vlad I remember.
He catches my expression. “People change, mala.”
“You’re head over heels in love.” I poke him playfully in his chest.