Chapter 38
MATTEO
I feel like death when I land in New York. All I want to do is go home and sleep.
And hide.
But there's too much at stake. Too much needs fixing, especially with the Elizabeth problem hanging over my head like a guillotine.
I changed my flight at the last minute, flying out of Verona instead of Dubrovnik. I even upgraded to first class, but it didn't help. I barely slept.
Thoughts circle around my brain like blades.
I'm a mess. Catching my reflection in the washroom just before we landed, I looked a sight. Dark eyes, sunken circles beneath my eyes. Hard stubble, more than the usual light dusting, and hair so greasy and messed up, I barely recognize myself.
My body aches from sheer exhaustion, from jetlag and lack of sleep, on top of life decisions. I’m so close to falling apart, and while I’m not as weighed down by the decision to donate my kidney, the heavy weight of betrayal takes a physical toll.
I don't know how to face Elizabeth.
She dropped me a text to say she'd be in the office today, but I’m not ready to face her, not like this. I really should go home and catch some sleep, shower, clean up, before I head there. I need armor, and a clear head, but I don't have time for niceties.
I brace myself as I look around the airport, praying I don't catch sight of her. Even though she would have caught a different flight, and embarked from a different country, life has thrown us together in the most unexpected of ways, I wouldn't be surprised to see her here now.
I get a taxi and head towards the office.
The tech lab is quiet and most people are thankfully in meetings or at lunch. Alex comes up behind me as soon as I walk into my office.
“Welcome back. You look rough.” He follows me in and sinks into the chair opposite mine. I wish he'd left me alone and given me more time to mentally adjust.
“Thanks. I feel rough.” I set my luggage against the wall and take out my laptop from my rucksack.
“You should have gone home and rested,” he says, taking in my appearance.
“Should have, but couldn't, not with this hanging over my head.” I sink into my chair, and take a moment. Every bone in my body feels numb. Every cell is wound tight, strung between hope and dread. My breath hitches every time there's movement outside because I expect Elizabeth to come into view.
I power up my laptop. “Has Elizabeth been in?” I try to sound calm, and normal, even though I'm feeling anything but that.
Alex scoffs. “She's coming to work?” He looks at me as if he doesn't understand. “Why?” He gets out of his chair and starts pacing around.
I stare at him calmly. “We need to see what she does.”
He throws his hands out. “I’m serious, Matteo. How can you let her back here after what we found?”
I lean back against my chair, head resting against the plush headrest, closing my eyes. I could so easily slip into sleep. “Tell me again what you found.”
“The logs. Her access trail. The overlap with the glitches. The timing. What more do you need?” he snaps.
I open my eyes and study him in silence for a moment. He's more agitated than I expected. Or maybe I'm too dulled by exhaustion to feel. “You sound certain that it's her.”
He stares at me in disbelief. “I'm certain. The logs show it.” He stops pacing. “What the hell is wrong with you, Matteo?”
“What exactly do we have?” I ask him, because I need to make sure. I need irrefutable proof before heads start rolling.
His jaw tightens. “I just told you.”
I startle at his tone. “I know what you told me, but I have to be one thousand per cent sure. My father will want proof. He’s the one that took her on, and this will reflect badly on him. For that reason alone I can't afford to get it wrong.”
But it's more than that. Mama had irrefutable proof, and that's exactly what I need. Right now, I'm not sure we have it. Everything points to Elizabeth, but something nags at me. The evidence says one thing. My instincts say another.
Alex’s nostrils flare. “I gave you all the evidence.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I'm trying to cover all the possibilities.”
I am. I'd rather this not be true, but Alex is never wrong. Still, there's too much at stake here. We need to tread carefully. It’s not just about whether Elizabeth is guilty or not, it’s what it means if she is. That she lied. That she didn’t trust me.
That I've been played, the same way the old man played Mama.
I swore it would never happen to me. I spent years making sure it couldn’t. Keeping people at a distance. Never giving anyone enough of myself to hurt me.
Then Elizabeth came along.
The thought that Alex might be right twists something deep inside me. Not because of how Elizabeth has hurt me, but because I let her get close enough to do it.
He leans against the door, hands behind his back. “You're clearly jetlagged and you need to get some sleep, but for the record, we have repeated activity tied to her credentials. We have proximity to the incidents. We have enough that if this were anyone else, they’d already be out.”
Anyone else.
But Elizabeth isn't anyone else. Alex probably senses that I'm biased in her favor.
“I can't just fire her. I need an ironclad case. My father hired her.” I don't even want to think about telling him about any of this.
“Have you told him?” Alex asks, as if reading my mind.
“Not yet. He's not well, and I prefer to leave him out of this for now.”
“What's wrong with him?”
“His kidneys are failing.”
Alex freezes. “What?”
“Stage four kidney disease.”
For the first time since I walked into the office, the fight seems to leave him.
“Jesus, Matteo. I didn't know.”
I shrug. “Most people don't. We’ve been keeping it a secret, only family knows. The last thing we need is to get the investors alarmed.”
Alex walks over and plants his hands on the desk, glares at me. “She should have been suspended at the very least.”
“Not yet.” I understand Alex's annoyance. If it were anyone else, maybe. I’m handling it differently, but this situation is complicated.
He lets out a heavy exhale, and turns away from me, staring out at the open plan office. We say nothing for a while. Then he turns around, hands clasped at the back of his head, looking exasperated. “So, you want to wait until she wipes something important?”
He talks like he hates Elizabeth. His thought process is clear cut while mine is a mess.
“She won’t have the chance,” I say. “I'll pull her elevated permissions and restrict everything to her normal audit scope.”
“Is that all?”
He’s like a piranha, biting, biting, biting. I wish he'd leave me in peace.
“She has enough access to work, but not enough to do damage,” I say, feeling weary.
“How do you know what her motivation is?”
Enough. I want to shout. I want to let it go. I huff out a heavy breath. “That's part of the problem. I don’t.” I’ve been trying to work out why she would do this, and I can find no reasonable answer to that question.
Unless ... unless she and the others, Vlad and Takumi, have something planned for Knight Enterprises. It’s a crazy thought, and I’m exhausted. I tilt my head from side to side, trying to ease out the knots in my neck.
“Speaking of which,” Alex says, narrowing his eyes. “Whatever happened with that Vladimir guy?”
My body tenses. “What about him?”
“You asked me to run a background check on him.” He shrugs. “He's a former hacker with an arrest record. Not exactly an angel.”
I keep my expression neutral. “He's unrelated.”
Alex studies me. “Then why did you want the report?”
“I was following up on something.”
“And?”
“He's not our problem.”
Alex doesn't look convinced, but thankfully lets it drop. A few seconds pass. Then, “I think you're making a mistake about letting Elizabeth come to work.”
I wish he’d fucking let it go. “I’m collecting more information.”
Alex shakes his head. “You want to spy on her.”
“I want to investigate. I don't want to wrongly accuse her.”
“She has you twisted up,” he says quietly.
I clench my jaw, hating how getting involved has complicated everything. “It's not personal.”
He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. I'm not sure I believe me either. “For now,” I say, “we contain this. I don't want any gossip or speculation. The rest of the team doesn’t need to know anything yet.”
His mouth tightens. “You want to protect her.”
“I'm being careful,” I grind out.
Because, deep down, I don't want to believe it's her.
“You should get some sleep,” Alex says, then promptly leaves. I sigh with relief, and sink into my chair, closing my eyes for a moment.
I hear Mama's voice.
When there is proof, Matteo, your heart stops arguing with your head.
I open my eyes and stare at the monitor in front of me, at the activity reports Alex sent over, at the neat rows of timestamps and access points and system triggers.
It's too neat. Too clean. Too convenient. Elizabeth is clever, but she’s not reckless. If she wanted to bury something, she wouldn’t leave footprints this obvious. She’d know we’d look. She’d know I’d look.
Maybe I'm kidding myself and looking for ways to absolve her. Maybe my tiredness fogs my mind. Every cell in my body screams at me to get some rest. I seriously consider it, when there's a knock on my door.
“Come in,” I yell, not even looking up.
The door opens and Elizabeth stands there looking at me, her expression strangely neutral, as if she doesn't feel a thing, or won't allow herself to.
I rise to my feet before I can stop myself and for a few seconds neither of us speaks. This is the first time we’ve been face to face since Dubrovnik. Since the reception. Since I walked away from her and she had no clue as to why.
Our gazes hold, and I feel something cold move through me. I can't figure out if it's anger or regret.
And then she steps inside and closes the door behind her.