Chapter 41
MATTEO
It was late by the time I got home last night. I crashed out on my bed, still wearing the clothes I’d travelled in when I left Mama.
I had lots of missed phone calls and texts from Rio and Enzo. They wanted to know about my visit, about Mama and 'everything else', so we’re all having lunch now. It's at a nice little steakhouse near the offices.
It’s supposed to be a great opportunity to catch up with them, but my mind is all over the place.
I can't focus and I don't know what to do about the kidney, about Elizabeth. I thought I’d made a decision about the kidney by the time I left Mama, but so much has happened in the time I've been back, that I’m confused all over again.
Complications at work. The dynamics and suspicion. Not knowing who I can trust. Alex isn’t happy because he thinks I'm treating Elizabeth differently.
No wonder I'm having second thoughts about donating a part of my body to the old man. Mama's wisdom seems to have vanished along with every morsel of peace I had known.
I’m also not entirely sure that Elizabeth is responsible. Something doesn’t fully add up. It’s too convenient that she was out of the lab, out of the country, when she was implicated.
It’s too perfect.
Guilt gnaws away at me each time I think of her, and I struggle to comprehend her involvement.
At the same time, I can barely breathe without her.
I still don’t know if I can trust her. I want to. I want to believe the best in her. But I can’t operate on blind trust alone because I need something solid.
These days, having her sitting outside my office, where I have such a perfect view of her, is torture. I have to force myself to not look up. To have tunnel vision so I can concentrate on the task at hand, and forget about Dubrovnik, and Vlad, and the things I heard.
I look up when Rio shouts my name. They’re both staring at me.
“Dude?” Rio peers at me as if I'm ill. “You good?”
I look from his concerned face to Enzo's.
“You checked out of the conversation,” Enzo states.
“Sorry. The jetlag is killing me.” I cut into my steak, forcing myself to eat. I haven't eaten much since I landed and my appetite has been non-existent. I don't feel ill. No fever or temperature, but I just don't feel like I usually do. I feel weirdly spaced out.
“How was the wedding?” Enzo wants to know.
“Don’t start with the wedding. Tell us how things are with you and …” Rio looks at me, like he’s forgotten her name.
My stomach fills with dread. This was the one thing I didn't want them to ask. “Elizabeth,” I say, feeling the pinch of her name on my tongue. It’s been dead, flat and dull, life at the office.
I try not to focus on Elizabeth sitting at her desk in clear view.
Today was tough, seeing her for the first time since Dubrovnik.
Everything good between us has turned cold. There will be no more intimate dinners or conversations. No more kisses or touches or hugs.
No more sex.
“The wedding was good,” I say, acting nonchalant as I lift my beer. “I met her friends, and there was a barbecue one day. It was ... cool.”
“Cool?” Enzo asks, lifting a brow.
“Just cool?” Rio echoes, cutting into his steak.
I shrug. “It was a wedding. I met her friends. We wandered around Dubrovnik, and then I went to see Mama.”
Rio eyes me, like he can see right through me, but he doesn't say anything. I tell them about my trip to see Mama. I tell them about everything except the shit show that’s happening at work.
“Is it ethical for her to still work for you?” Rio asks.
“What do you mean?” I haven’t told them that everything currently points to Elizabeth having something to do with the tech issues. I wonder if they’ve heard something.
Rio peers at me. “You being her boss. Do you think it’s wise dating an employee?”
I lift my shoulder, not wanting to go down this route. “She’s working here for now.”
“That’s all we’re getting?” Enzo asks. He and Rio exchange looks.
“Something’s up,” Rio guesses.
I don’t say a word.
“What’s wrong, dude?” he pushes.
“Nothing. Nothing worth talking about.” I’m not in the mood for discussing my personal life with them.
But when I look up again, they're both still staring at me.
“What?” I snap, setting down my cutlery.
“Did you break up with—” Rio starts.
“I don’t think he wants to talk about it,” Enzo cautions.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rio asks, tone-deaf.
“I’m not hungry.” I push my plate away, realizing that I’m not ready to talk about our vacation, or the wedding, or Elizabeth, and this idea to have lunch was not so great after all.
“Did you ask Mama when she's next coming over?” Enzo asks.
“She didn't say. I told her she should move here. There’s nothing for her there.”
“Only her beloved house and garden, her friends, and—” Enzo starts.
“But we’re here.” Rio sits back.
“Give her some grandkids and she’ll come running.” I wink at him.
“Not happening any time soon. Raquel’s loving her new job and she has lots of responsibility. That woman has serious aspirations. I’m not sure she’ll ever want to take time out to have a baby.” He sounds oddly somber. “Are you not eating that?” he asks, his eyes falling to my mostly uneaten steak.
“Not hungry.”
He holds out his hand for my plate. “Pass it over. Not having you waste a good steak.”
He has the appetite of a horse.
“What did Mama say you should do?” Enzo asks. “You went to see her because you wanted her advice,” he reminds me.
Mama said my decision had to be something I could live with.
A decision which wouldn’t haunt me. I thought I knew the answer, but seeing Elizabeth has muddied my thoughts.
There’s a lot to think about—the risk of surgery, then the recovery, not to mention the time away from work.
And the fact that I’ll only have one kidney for the rest of my life. It has to serve me well and never fail.
But each time I think of Mama's words again, it all becomes clear again, in that moment. I don't want to live with regret, and I want to be able to go to bed at night with a clear conscience.
“I’m still thinking about it,” is all I tell them.
“I have an invite to a party,” Enzo announces, changing the subject completely. “It's being held at the Doge's Palace in Venice.”
Rio snorts. “Which royal family do you know? And you can't just host parties there. It's a historic landmark, not your personal backyard.”
“Normally, no,” Enzo says. “But this guy is sponsoring a cultural restoration project in Venice.”
“Which guy?” Rio asks.
“Luca Valizar.”
“Never heard of him.”
“Most people haven’t,” Enzo replies. “I’ve never met him. He doesn’t do interviews. Doesn’t show up in magazines. Half the photographs of him online are probably wrong.”
I’m intrigued. “Then how do you know all this?”
“He stays under the radar but is famous for funding restorations, lending pieces to museums, and spending ridiculous amounts of money acquiring things nobody else can have. He collects things.”
“Things?” Rio asks.
“Anything rare. Anything valuable. Anything unique. If there’s only one of something in the world, he wants it.”
“That sounds less like a hobby and more like a problem,” Rio murmurs.
“He’s hosting an invitation only masked ball inside the palace,” Enzo continues.
I scoff. “A masked ball? And he’s invited you?” I’m still trying to figure out how Enzo knows him.
“Unlike the two of you, I appreciate culture. Nobody really knows much about him,” Enzo continues, oblivious to our reaction. “He rarely gives interviews, rarely appears in public.”
“Thank fuck for that,” Rio murmurs.
I lean back in my chair. “He sounds cheerful.”
“Only you would get excited about putting on a costume and pretending to be mysterious,” Rio says.
Enzo shrugs. “Who cares? A masked ball in Venice, I'm down.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You're going to a party hosted by a mysterious billionaire recluse who throws masquerade balls in palaces?”
“Exciting, no?” Enzo replies, a smile tugging at his lips.
I shake my head.
“You're going because you're hoping there'll be beautiful women.”
“Obviously. I’m not dead.”
“Do you want to come?” he asks. “It’s not for a few months yet, but it might do you some good to get away for a few days, and if there’s nothing going on with Elizabeth …”
I swallow. Just because things between me and Elizabeth have cooled off, to the point that we might as well be strangers now, doesn’t mean I’m ready to look at anyone else. “Pass.”
But I can't move on. It feels impossible.
“I’m going to do it.” I decide to tell them about my decision. “I’m going to give the old man my kidney.”
Rio stares at me. “You just said you weren't sure.”
“I am now.”
Tomorrow I’m going to have to face the old man and tell him what I’ve decided.
***
The next morning I do the thing I’ve been putting off. I go to see the old man. I knock on the door to his office and walk in.
He looks up. “You’re back.”
“Yes.”
“Your mother. How was she?”
I walk in but don’t sit down. “Flourishing. Happy as always, without you.”
“At least she’s happy.”
“As if you care,” I growl. It's still not easy to be around this man, and I dread to think how I'm going to cope being more tied to him than ever. I'll see him more. There are so many things to consider, pre and post-surgery. Worse, he'll forever carry a part of me inside him.
I can't bear to think about it.
He ignores me. “Where are you with resolving the tech issues?”
“Nearly there.” I don’t want to tell him what’s really going on in the tech lab, or that Elizabeth is implicated.
Not until we find out who’s behind it. He'll only make matters deliberately more tense, especially given that he's seen me and Elizabeth together, and suspects something. “I’ll have more information soon.”
“I look forward to it.” He clears his throat and pauses, then, “I understand that you and Elizabeth took the same time off.”
I blink. “And?” It's none of his damn business.
“Did you spend your vacation with her?”
“I'm pretty sure what I do in my spare time is none of your business.”
“I own this entire enterprise. Everything is my business.”
I stare him down silently.