Chapter 6 #2
Not that I’d do anything. She was sore from everything she’d gone through, and I didn’t want to hurt her.
But damn did I want her, even bruised and battered, she was the most stunning woman I’d ever known.
I was going to flay Hardy alive for what he did to her, for her wanting him dead, which only told me how horrific he had been to her.
I didn’t want to admit how hard I was thinking she was okay with what I could do to him for her.
Would she still accept me when I came home bloody?
“I gotta take this,” I told her. “Get some rest. I’ll be back later.”
She nodded, and I headed out of the apartment before I took the call.
“Yeah?” I answered, heading down to my bike on the street.
“Get your fucking ass to the clubhouse now.”
Well, fuck.
Tavi
Maverick’s bed had been so good that I’d fallen asleep in minutes rather than tossing and turning for hours like I normally did. I could smell his cologne, it was deep in the cotton of his navy blue sheets. Wrapping myself in them had been the balm my soul needed.
“Mama!”
My eyes shot open and I jolted up, my body screaming in protest at the sudden movement.
I bit down on the pain and felt the tears prick into my eyes as Van jumped up on the big bed, scrambling over to get to me.
His little body slammed into mine, his arms wrapping around my neck so tight, I may actually pass out.
But it felt so good.
The hug I didn’t realise I needed.
“Don’t cry, Mama,” he said, pulling back to look at my face. He didn’t recoil like I thought he might, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. “I make you better.”
His little lips pecked on my cheek and I felt my chest ache with the tenderness of my sweet, little boy. How he was a product of the maniacal Hardy, I had no idea.
Van hugged me again, and I looked up at Maverick in the doorway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, a little half-smirk on his face.
“Thank you,” I mouthed to him. He nodded, winked and left us alone.
“Have you been a good boy at the clubhouse?” I asked, once he had pulled away from my hug and sat there, playing with his red truck.
“Yes, and, and…they gived me orange carrots and I ated them all.”
I chuckled, before I corrected him. “They gave you carrots and you ate them all.”
“But they orange.”
“Yes, baby, carrots are orange, but we just call them carrots. Oranges are fruit.”
“I don’ like oranges.”
What kid didn’t like orange juice? Mine, that’s who!
“I know, but that’s okay. I’m very proud of you for eating your vegetables and for being a good boy. Why don’t you eat carrots when I give them to you?”
Van giggled. “You don’ make them nice.”
Ouch! The brutal honesty of my kid strikes again, but I love him for it. I hoped he would never grow up. There was just something so fulfilling about having your baby with you. It made the rest of the world fall away until it was just you and him.
“I’ll try better.”
“It’s okay, Mama. I eat them. I just won’t like them.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled to the surface. “No, baby, if you don’t like something, you tell me and I’ll make something else. It’s okay to not like things.”
He nodded, moving his truck over my leg, almost like he was lost in thought.
“Just like…”
He stopped himself, but I raised his chin with my finger so he had to look in my eyes. “Like what, baby?”
“You didn’t like that mean man, but you stayed there. Why didn’t you telled him you didn’t liked him?”
And there it was. My actual heart was breaking in two. He’d seen everything I had tried to hide. My beautiful, observant boy.
“I’m so sorry, Van. Mama made a big mistake. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I know now it was wrong.”
“It’s okay. I knowed you didn’t want me to see, but sometimes I seed it. I heared you cry.”
Closing my eyes to block out the painful expression in his gaze, I pulled him into my body again. His arms wrapped around my neck and I sobbed into his, telling him how sorry I was, how I would be better, for him. No one would ever hurt us again.
That’s when I looked up at the doorway again, and I saw him. Maverick had obviously heard what he’d said, and now he stood there, with a stony-faced expression on his face. “Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Yes!”
Van jumped up so quickly that I almost copped a head to the nose. That would have wrapped up the pain meter by a thousand. Thank god I was used to Van’s bursts of energy and threw my head back before it connected.
Maverick chuckled and helped Van off the bed, taking his little hand and leading him outside to give me time to get up. Seeing him with Van did something to me, something…primal… something that it shouldn’t be doing.
And I very much wanted to be selfish and let my primal side win for once.
Maverick
Listening to Van talk about his adventures in the clubhouse had me stifling laughs behind my fist, in between food. Tavi was giving him all the right responses and reactions for him to light up. I found that I loved watching her interact with him, delighted with all the things he was saying.
“Thend Vegas showed me how to play pocker!”
“Poker?!” Tavi exclaimed.
“Yes!” Van screamed excitedly. “It was fun. I made chippies, but you can’t eat these chippies. They were hard and didn’t look like foods.”
“When we go back, kiddo, I’ll show you how to win at poker. I’m the best in the club.”
“Really?” he exclaimed, his eyes wide with fascination. Then he turned to Tavi. “Can I?”
“If you’re going to be good at anything, baby, you gotta make sure you learn from the best.”
Oh fuck.
When she turned and smiled at me, I was done for. I wanted her under me, on top of me, curled into me as I fucked up into her. I wanted to hear her cry out my name, over and over again.
Now…was most definitely not the time to have these thoughts with her toddler son right the fuck next to me.
Listening to him get all excited over his day and what he liked made me miss my own son.
He’d taken to ignoring my texts now which only made me think back to the day in the hospital when he thought I didn’t love him.
I needed to fix this.
For years, I’d stayed back, out of their way, watching from a distance, but the older they got, the more I wanted to be invested.
I wanted to see them succeed, to watch them grow into young adults and take on the world.
I wanted to be there for that. It only reinforced the notion that I had completely fucked up when I told Mari to keep them away from me.
“Are you all right?”
I looked up at Tavi, who was watching me with a keen eye.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I must be tired.”
“You should rest,” she said. “I can stay up with Van while you rest.”
“I’m okay.” I gave her a smile to hopefully put her at ease.
“Can Mavdrick read to me tonight?” Van asked, looking from me to her. The question floored me. I didn’t know how to respond, and neither did Tavi, who looked equally as surprised. “Can you read?”
His little question almost sent me into a chuckle at the innocent look on his face. “Yes, I can read.”
“Van, it’s Mav-a-rick,” she said, correcting him. “And I don’t think he’ll have time, mate. But I can read to you.”
“You can call me Dane,” I said to him, watching his eyes narrow for a moment, before he frowned. “It’s my real name. Maverick is a nickname.”
“Oh!”
Tavi smiled at her son, a loving and beautiful smile that I knew was reserved for him. I found myself a little jealous that I didn’t get that smile for myself. Privately chiding myself for such a stupid jealousy, I focused on my food again.
“That’s like me!”
I looked down at him again. “What do you mean?”
“My name is Evan, but we don’t like it. Do we, Mum? She calls me Van for shorts.”
“I don’t blame you, Van suits you more,” I told him, to which he smiled brightly. “I also don’t mind reading to him tonight. It gives you more time to rest.”
Tavi’s surprised look was enough to floor me. “Thank you…but only if you’re sure. He will try to con you into reading the same thing to him four times in a row, then it’ll be a glass of water, then he needs to pee.”
“No, I be gooded.”
“You’ll be good,” we both said in unison. I looked over at Tavi, who looked at me with her mouth open a little in surprise. We both laughed but my mind was set. I suddenly wanted to read him a story, to give her time to rest. I liked the idea of her in my bed, her hair fanned out over my pillow.
Fuck.
Now was not the time for this train of thought.
“Come on, Van, it’s time to wash up, and get ready for bed.”
He jumped up and took her hand, smiling big at me as he went down the hall to where my bathroom was.
Fuck…it felt good having a kid around again.
It felt good having dinner with her, and answering Van’s questions, watching him get excited about his day.
It took my mind off the shit I was dealing with at the club.
I’d missed all of that with my own kids, and it hurt deep inside of me. I needed to fix things with them, to explain, but first, I needed to make sure that little boy had a future where he didn’t need to fear anything.
And one where Tavi felt free.
She deserved that much.
I just knew…the second I let her go, I was going to hate myself for it.