Chapter 17 #3
I left the room without looking back, because I knew I’d never be able to leave if I saw her expression. I knew she was scared, and she didn’t know what was going to happen, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to appease her fears right now.
“Come on, kid. Let’s go see your mum and brother.”
Lani nodded, and followed me down the hall and out of the clubhouse, toward the cabin my family were in.
Tavi
My nerves were shot as I waited for Maverick to come back. Van was out cold, finally. At least he couldn’t sense my unease at being here, in the clubhouse. I’d give anything to be back at the house, the one I’d made a home, and reading one of Van’s stories to him.
Even just sleeping in one of Maverick’s shirts to feel safe. Everything here felt foreign.
He hadn’t even looked back to see I was okay when he left, just went to go talk to Mari. Why didn’t he want me down there with them? Surely we could protect each other better if we were together.
You’re not one of his family.
Fuck.
Maybe. Maybe that’s what it was. He didn’t consider me as part of his family. Maybe he was just with me because he loved Van. How could I fault that? Van was perfect.
A silent tear made its way down my cheek, and I swept at it with the back of my hand, pulling my knees up to my chest, in order to comfort myself.
He didn’t even want me to go out into the clubhouse, he took me outside to talk to me, and didn't introduce me to his brothers.
I was a dirty little secret, and he felt obligated to protect me.
No.
Maverick wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t do this with me, make me feel like a million bucks every night, or cuddle with me all night if he didn’t want me. He wouldn’t defy his Prez for me, if he didn’t want me around.
This was just my toxic as fuck family’s voice in my head, turning me inside out with insecurity. I was here, because I was Maverick’s family, just like he’d become mine.
The sounds of the clubhouse outside was loud, as they prepared to lock down. That meant I was stuck here.
It wasn’t the worst situation to find myself in, but something niggled in the back of my mind that this was too dangerous. For them. For me.
They didn’t know how dangerous it was for me to be here. They didn’t even know who I was.
I couldn’t risk them. Could I? Could I do that to Maverick’s family?
I thought of Mari, Lani and Bane. They all loved me and Van like I was part of their little unit. I so wanted to be, but what if I got them hurt? I’d never forgive myself, and Maverick would never forgive me.
Indecision weighed heavily on my shoulders as I looked around the basic room. Was this his? Did he ever stay here?
A soft knock on the door had me up and over at it before Van awoke. A girl, my own age, smiled at me and waved a cordless phone at me.
“Someone’s on the phone for you,” she said.
“Me?”
“Yeah,” she replied, her brow furrowing. “You’re Tavi, right?”
I nodded, slowly, as she handed the phone over to me, a tight coil in my gut taking over. She moved back down the hall and into the clubhouse before I closed the door and held the receiver to my ear.
“H-hello?”
“Ahhhh, Octavia,” I heard his oil-like voice coat over me, making me nauseous. “Do you really think I would allow you to humiliate me like this without plans in place? You think you’re safe with the Sons, but you’re not. I’ve known where you are this entire time.”
My chest felt tight, as I looked over at Van–still asleep, soundly–and tried to come up with a way to rationalise what I was hearing.
“Now, you’re going to do something for me. You’re going to gather intel and report back to me.”
“No. I would never.”
He was silent for a moment, and that in itself was scary enough, but when he spoke again, I had no idea how much hatred I could feel for a human being.
“Then you’ll bring my son home to me, and you’ll open those legs wide for me, to make up for the trouble you’ve put me through.”
I wanted to vomit. The idea of being with anyone but Maverick ever again had my pulse racing and my stomach churning.
“No.”
“Octavia…I won’t be kind to your precious bikers if I see them close to my dealings. You think your brother runs the Ironborne? Think again. He’s only alive because I allow it…for you. I won’t be so kind when I have to come looking for my son.”
“Why would I return to my abuser?” I asked, venom in my tone.
“If you don’t, I’ll send my men through Creed’s Crossing and find you. I’ll send them to Shackled Sons businesses and blow them up. They’ll never recover. Then I’ll take you anyway. You’re mine, Octavia.”
I couldn’t speak. Tears flowed freely down my face as I listened to his vile decree. I was so close. So close to being free of him. Why had I chosen to stay?
For Maverick.
Because I loved him.
I’d always loved him.
“What about Maribelle? Lani and Bane? Don’t you care about them?
” My heart was in my throat, just thinking about them being in danger because of me.
“What would he think if his own family got hurt because of you? He’d never trust you again…
he’d cast you out and then where will you be?
Whoring on the side of the road to make ends meet and I’ll still have my son with me. I’m giving you an out.”
Bile was rising in my throat. “If I come to you…you’ll stop your attacks on them? You’ll leave them alone?”
I could hear the glee in his voice. He thought he’d won, but I had a plan in place. I wasn’t going to let him poison my son. No, Van would know love, even if it couldn’t be from me.
“Yes, I’ll leave them alone. Come to the house tonight. I’ll have dinner waiting.”
He hung up before I could say anything else. The cordless phone hung limply in my hand, cold dread shooting through me.
I could warn Maverick. Tell him everything. But what if everyone got hurt because of me? What if his family were hurt and he’d never be able to look at me again?
I have to do this.
For him.
For them.
For Van.