Chapter 19
Maverick
I’d fought Cherry on taking my sheets. I didn’t want to get rid of the smell of Tavi’s shampoo, just like I refused to let the car Van had left in my bed go.
It had been a week without her.
A week where I didn’t know if she was safe or if she was hurting. A week where I’d drunk myself to sleep every night, dreaming of her being happy with someone else.
Mari had tried to help, but I refused. I couldn’t bear to let her see me this way.
I hadn’t even been this broken up when our marriage ended, how was that fair to her?
I felt like an asshole. Bane kept me company as I sobered during the day, talking to me about things he was learning at soccer and school.
Since the lockdown had been lifted, things had shifted to normal.
Animal still monitored Mari and Bane, when they came and went, but Lani refused.
She was mad at me, and I had to give it to her. I was mad at myself too.
Too mad to fix things. She’d taken one of the spare cabins, living separately, privately to grieve in her own way. She’d sworn until she was blue in the face Parker had never tried anything, he was just an asshole, but I wasn’t sure if I believed her.
If I found out it was anything less than fatherly, he’d be getting a rod up his ass while I paraded him around town, chained to the back of my bike like Rowan had done to her bullies not too long ago.
“I need to wash them, Mav.”
Cherry was at my door again, banging and causing more of a headache than I already had. She was talking to someone in the hall, before I heard her give up and tell them to try. A soft knock landed on the door, and I heard Prez’s ol’ lady’s voice.
“Maverick, can I come in?”
“It’s unlocked,” I called back. The door opened and Rowan stepped through, closing it behind her. Rowan didn’t hold back, she moved over to the bed and sat down on the side I wasn’t occupying. “What do you want?”
“I just figured we could chat since you’re being a dick to everyone.”
I liked Rowan. She had spunk, and she was good for my Prez. She also didn’t take any prisoners and that meant she was the perfect ol’ lady for him.
“You know why.”
“You’re hung up on a woman, yeah I get it, but I don’t know why. You never introduced her as yours, so it couldn’t have been that serious, could it?”
I was silent, unable to form words that would make sense to her. Is that how Tavi felt? That I was hiding her away? I just hadn’t wanted her to be overwhelmed, she had enough going on. Being with me would mean a lot more shit than I thought she’d want to deal with right now.
I should have told her that. I should have put her in the cabin with Mari, but I’d wanted her with me, in my bed, in my arms. When it came to her, I was so fucking selfish.
“Oh shit, that’s why you kept her away, she is important to you. Now, I need to know all about the woman who tamed the infamous Maverick, lady killer.”
“Lady killer?” I repeated.
She shrugged. “It’s what Chaos called you, and coming from him that’s kinda crazy. The guy’s sticking his dick in every wet pussy out there.”
I scrunched my face up, knowing exactly what kind of man Chaos was. “It doesn’t matter. She didn’t want this.”
“What did she say to you?”
“Nothing. She left a note.”
She was silent for a minute, before she asked, “Can I read it?”
“Why?”
“Morbid curiosity. I’ve never broken up with someone in a note, I want to know what it says.”
“Getting ideas of breaking my prez’s heart with a bit of pen and paper?” I asked her, almost laughing at the notion. There was no way he would have allowed it. He would track her down and spank her red raw before he stuffed her so full of his cock she wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.
The fact that I knew that was both disturbing and undeniably annoying.
“Give it.”
I sighed, and grabbed the note from the bedside table, handing it over to her. Watching as Rowan read the note, her facial expressions changing constantly, she hummed, as if she had something to say but didn’t know how to say it.
“Out with it.”
“Well, clearly I don’t know this woman, but it seemed a little stiff.”
“I doubt she was expecting critiquing on her Dear John.”
“No, I mean…she talks about her son being the reason, but she knew he was safe here. There’s also no mention of your relationship, not really.
Just an excuse that it’s too much, but didn’t she want that, and you pushed her away?
It sounds like she put everything in this letter to make you think she chose to leave.
It’s cold. Like she wrote everything out to keep you away from finding her. ”
My heart hammered, and I grabbed the note again, reading over the words that I had nearly committed to memory by now. Fuck…how hadn’t I seen this before?
Or was it just me needing to know a different reason other than she didn’t want me anymore?
“Rowan…if you ever were to break Reaper’s heart…what would you tell him?”
She was quiet for a moment or two, then she looked over at me, sadness in her eyes.
“If I wanted to disappear, and break him so he didn’t come after me, I’d play on his inability to look after his own kids, how they hated him.
How he was cold and closed off, even though he’s not, because that’s his weakness. His kids.”
“She didn’t mention my kids.”
“No, but she mentioned hers. And she mentioned you as a dad, and needing to do what was right by them. She played on your emotions to hurt you. Maybe she did it for a reason, or maybe she truly couldn’t handle this world, Mav, but don’t you deserve to know, face-to-face, why?”
“I’d never let her out of my sight again,” I replied.
“Doesn’t that mean more than just a stinking note? This…this note, Mav…it’s a cop out. An easy way out of a tricky situation. If you love her, if you’re burning yourself inside and out over her, then you don’t take a note. You look into her eyes and you demand the truth.”
I sat up, the note shaking in my hands as I realised I'd given up too easily, like I always did.
Fuck.
I never thought I’d ever be good enough for someone like her, or for my own kids, or even Van, but maybe she was it for me. Maybe she was my future for a life of penance.
Rowan got off the bed, circled around to me and pulled me into a hug.
I hadn’t realised I’d needed it until she did, and I hugged her back.
She made a move toward the door, her hand on the doorknob, when I called out, “You’re a damn good clubhouse queen.
Don’t let anyone tell you no different, yeah? ”
She smiled, “Thanks, Mav. By the way, Cherry will be by, and she will be taking those sheets. No arguments, or I’ll have Reaper down here and carry you out like a child.”
I barked out a laugh, because I knew she wasn’t messing with me. She’d do it, because that man was wrapped around her little finger like a piece of barbed wire.
They would get no resistance from me anyway, not now. I had a mission to find the woman who was breaking my heart and get the answers I needed. If she wanted out, I’d give it to her, but only if she told me face-to-face.
It would break me if it were the truth, but something inside of me told me it wasn’t.
She was protecting me, my family, my club.
Now, it was time for me to show her what it felt like to have a family willing to go to war for her.
Trojan was sitting in Chapel on his laptop when I burst in, unaware that we had a visitor. My hackles rose when I spotted Mannix sitting at the end of the table, reserved for the prospects, and Reaper at the head.
“What did you need Trojan for?” Reaper asked. I tried to hide the note, still in my hand, but it was no use. Reaper saw fucking everything. “What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
I tried to pocket the note, but it fell from my grasp and fluttered to the ground, right by Mannix’s foot. I bent to retrieve it, at the same time as Mannix did. He looked at me, his brow furrowed. “This is Tavi’s handwriting.”
“Tavi?” Reaper questioned.
“Mav’s woman–”
“My sister–”
Trojan and Mannix both answered in unison, only the answers were different.
My heart lurched into my throat as I turned to my prez.
He caught on quick. I hadn’t been truthful to him, not entirely, and he knew that now.
The storm of emotions brewing in his expression was enough to send a cold chill down my spine.
You didn’t lie to Prez.
You didn’t lie in Church.
I’d done both by omitting the truth about her. I could throw Shadow and Chaos under the bus, tell him they knew and told me not to tell him, but the truth was, this was on me. I’d made that decision, and I needed to cop it.
“Your woman is Ironborne?” he asked, his temper masked in confusion, before he turned to Mannix. “Is this true?”
Mannix nodded. “Tavi has never truly been Ironborne, only born into the legacy. Trust me, she’s tried to free herself from it for as long as I can remember.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Is this why you’ve been sneaking around, ignoring calls?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Prez. She’s gone, left me with a flimsy note.”
Reaper didn’t look convinced, but it was Mannix’s expression that stole over my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“A note? She wouldn’t end things in a note. She’s not like that. Can I read it?”
I nodded, slowly, unsure of what else I could do. At this point, we may as well put it up on the screen and show the entire fucking clubhouse.
Mannix sighed, before he frowned again. “She may have written this note, Maverick, but she didn’t do it with malice in mind.”
“How so?” Reaper asked, suddenly rising from his seat.
“She mentions Van, but without you, or my help, she couldn’t truly protect him. She hasn’t come to me, which means there’s only one thing she could do. She bargained with the devil, and judging by the way she signed off this note, I can tell you that’s exactly what she’s done.”
“Explain,” Reaper demanded.
“She signed off Octavia Bainbridge,” he answered, as if it were obvious.
“That’s her name.”