Chapter 21
Maverick
Van had finally relented and let me lay him down. The kid was exhausted and I’d been the only one who could placate him.
It pulled on my heartstrings knowing that.
He missed his mum.
Fuck, I missed her too. I missed her before I even knew I did.
My stomach burned with hunger, making me wonder how long it had been since I had a feed.
I’d been so wrapped up in everything happening that I had forgotten the usual routine, ensuring Van was okay, and Lani and Bane were okay.
Animal hadn’t left their side, which meant I could focus on what I needed to.
Cherry was outside my door when I closed it, wanting to help. Her eyes held the concern that most of the girls did. They knew we were going into a war that we probably couldn’t win.
It was Thomas Charman’s war against us all over again. Only this time, it was his son who was relaying information to us, to save us.
“Can I help?”
“Stay with him? If you need me, call me.”
She nodded and crept into the room, closing the door behind her. I set my mind on the task at hand. I needed to get ready for tonight. Vegas had set up the table for a few hands, just to warm myself up. He was the best bet if I was going to do this.
Hardy knew who I was, but he didn’t know the name I’d entered as, which means he couldn’t prepare.
“No kuttes tonight,” Reaper announced when I got to Chapel. “This isn’t official club business.”
Everyone agreed, shedding their leather kuttes and putting them on the table. I did the same, feeling naked without it. Personally, everything felt bad right now. Not having Tavi in my arms every morning, not seeing her smile, or even knowing if she was okay was killing me.
I had to fix this.
I had to get Van’s mum back for him, even if it meant I was killed in the process. I’d happily replace her right now, so long as she was safe. It was burning me not to be able to leave, to go and find her myself, but I had to trust in my club.
Mannix appeared on the screen in Chapel on a zoom call.
“She’s here. I got confirmation she’s alive, but he’s a cruel bastard, so she’s not in the best shape.
I turned one of his men against him. He’s giving me everything and keeping her alive, for now.
Tonight, she’ll be at the casino. It’s the only time we’ve got.
There’s something going down. I’ll be there, but I can’t be seen with you. ”
“Got it,” Reaper said. “Thanks for the update.”
She’s not in the best shape.
Fuck. That line near destroyed my resolve. What’s he done to her? The sick fuck wasn’t going to leave that casino alive.
No amount of talking me out of it was going to work. I’ll happily go down for life if it meant I took him out of the equation for Van, and for Tavi.
Mannix hung up and the screen returned to the blueprints of the casino. My mind was buzzing with all the possibilities that we could fuck up tonight. I moved out of Chapel and toward the poker table, getting lost in what I knew without thinking.
I knew cards.
I knew strategy.
I couldn’t lose. Not tonight.
“You ready for this?” Vegas asked, the concern was clear in his eyes.
“Always ready,” I lied. He knew I was lying, but he said nothing. Knight dealt the cards and we played. And played. And played. Until daylight turned to night, and my pulse raced.
I couldn’t fuck this up.
“Go see your family,” Reaper said, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing. “We all know tonight is dangerous.”
He was right. I had to tell them I may not be coming home. How do you tell your kids that? I moved through the clubhouse and out to where the cabins were. Mari was sitting on the porch of the cabin she’d been staying in with Animal. They were drinking beers, but I could see the stress on her face.
She knew.
“Where are the kids?”
“Inside,” she said, her eyes looking out to the bush, and not at me.
“You know I have to do this.”
She nodded, finally casting her gaze my way. “I know, Brayden told me what was happening.”
“Brayden?”
“Oh come on, Dane, I’m not calling you by the stupid little road names you all have.”
Both Animal and I chuckled at her annoyance. I turned to him. “Are you staying back?”
He nodded. “Yes, with the prospects and Pope. The compound will be safe, as will your family.”
“Thank you, brother.”
“Just…” Mari started. “Please bring her home safely, and take care. We need you both.”
I knew I couldn’t promise her that, but I could try. I offered her a quick nod and headed into the cabin to talk to my kids. My heart was in my throat the entire walk into the cabin and toward the back where the bedrooms were.
I wasn’t prepared for them both to be sitting on the double bed, both of them looking solemn. My heart broke. It broke harder when Lani looked up and I could see she’d been crying.
“I suppose you already know.”
“Mum doesn’t talk as softly as she thinks,” Bane admitted. “Why can’t you just send someone else?”
“Mate, I can’t do that. I’m already asking all my brothers in that clubhouse to put their lives on the line for me. I have to stand beside them when they do.”
“Why?”
The tears falling down his cheeks had my chest caving in. It was such a simple question, a simple plea for me to stay back with them, to be their dad, but I couldn’t give them what they wanted.
“You will understand when you fall in love, bud. I know that’s a shit excuse, I know it doesn’t make sense. But if it were you, I’d do the same, same for your sister. She’s—”
“A part of you,” Lani finished for me. “She owns your heart.”
I nodded. “Yes. She does, and her ex is an evil guy. He’s hurting her, he’s taking Van’s mum away from him.”
“Just like this club took you from us,” Bane added. I could hear the hurt in his tone, and I knew he believed it. He believed that I chose this club over him, over them. In his eyes, I did, and it was going to take a lot for me to mend the bridge with him.
But I’d do it.
With Tavi by my side.
“I know it’s hard to hear this, and to understand, and I understand you want to hate me for it, but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing by you guys. I thought if I left you be, you would be safe.”
Bane scoffed. “Maybe Tavi’s not safe because she fell in love with you.”
The stabbing pain in my chest was only getting deeper with every venomous word he spat in my direction, but I’d take it. I’d take his hate, because I knew I deserved it. I’d made so many monumental mistakes, I couldn’t keep doing it. I couldn’t keep pushing people away because I was scared.
“Bane, I love you. I love you in a way that doesn’t make sense.
There’s not enough words in the world to explain a father’s love for his child.
I’d do anything to make you safe, to see you happy, but I am human.
I’m going to fuck up, and I’m going to fuck up a lot.
I didn’t have a great family life. My dad hated me and he told me regularly.
I didn’t even know how to be a good dad and so I thought if I stepped away, you’d be safe.
You’d have your mum, and she’s a pretty damn good one. ”
“Don’t you get it, Bane?” Lani turned to her brother. “He’s trying. Tavi changed him, she made him believe, and now she’s in trouble. She’s always been good to us. Always. He needs to bring her back.”
Bane bowed his head, a slight sob wracking in his chest. “I know.”
I stood up and pulled Bane into my arms. He hugged me back fiercely, squishing my body against his. He was stronger than I imagined, a young man, almost.
“I’m proud of you, kid, proud of you for standing up to me, and telling me how angry you have been. We’ll work this out when I get back, okay.”
He nodded against my chest. “Okay, Dad.”
“Can you do me a favour?” I asked him. He pulled back, wiped his face and nodded. “Can you go into the clubhouse and look after Van after I leave? He’s scared right now. He’s not sure what’s happening, and he’s missing his mum.”
Bane nodded. “Yeah, I can do that. We’ll watch Cars.”
I smiled at him. “He’ll love that. If things go my way, he’ll be your little brother.”
Bane scoffed at me. “Dad, he’s already my little brother.”
Fuck me. Punch to the gut in the best possible way. I scruffed his hair and watched him walk out of the bedroom leaving me with Lani.
“I know you have to do this,” she said, getting off the bed and standing in front of me. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“I know.”
“It feels like the universe is testing this father-daughter thing.”
I chuckled, running a hand down my face. “It does. You know I love you, baby girl.”
She nodded. “I know, and I love you too. I always have, even when I flipped you off at games. I love Tavi too, and I want her safe. I feel like if you don’t get her back, you’re not going to be the dad we need anyway.”
Fuck, when did she get so grown up?
I smoothed a piece of her hair that had fallen into her eyes behind her ear, and saw her look up at me with watery eyes. “Please come back.”
Nodding, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her as if it may be the last time I did it. Chances were high that I would come back, I had the might of the Sons behind me, but there was always the off chance that maybe I couldn’t make it.
I hated that I didn’t have the answers for her, for Bane, but I also knew that if the roles were reversed, Tavi would absolutely be doing the same thing for me.
It was why I loved her so much. She had an inner strength that I could only admire from afar.
That’s why I knew, no matter what he’d done to her, she wouldn’t have cracked.
It didn’t make it any easier to swallow, but I had that to hold onto, to get me through the time I felt like I was sitting around and waiting.
“Go,” Lani said, pulling from my grasp. “Go and get my stepmum back.”
I kissed her on the forehead and moved out of the bedroom, past Bane who was sitting on the couch, and out to the porch.
“Go to the clubhouse when we go,” I told them. “Look after Van. Stay safe.”
I was heading down the steps when I heard Mari call out to me. Turning, I felt her arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug.
“Bring our girl home safe, okay?”
I nodded and headed into the clubhouse. There was one more kid that needed my promises, and this may be the hardest one yet.
Van couldn’t understand logic. He couldn’t understand loss.
He just knew his mum was gone and the next best thing was me.
It warmed me to think that I could offer him comfort, that I was the one he sought out.
He had never had that strong male presence in his life, and yet he clung to me like glue for comfort.
Opening the door, I looked over at Van who was rubbing at his sore eyes. When he saw me, he jumped up on the bed and held his arms out for me.
“How long’s he been awake?”
“Only a minute or two.”
Cherry headed out of the room and left us alone.
“Dane!” he screamed, tears streaming down his little red cheeks again. I moved over to him and pulled him into my arms, rubbing little calming circles on his back. His sobs were breaking my heart. I didn’t want to leave him.
“Come on, little man, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
His sobs into my neck were hard to stomach. He was terrified. He knew. Somehow he could sense what was happening and he didn’t want to let me go. In a matter of hours, his entire life could implode and he’d have no one.
I couldn’t think like that. I had to ensure both me and Tavi came back from this. For him. For my own kids.
“Ease up, bud, you’re choking me.”
Slowly, he pulled away from my neck and I sat down on the bed with him, drying his little puffy cheeks.
“I need you to be a big boy, can you do that for me?”
Van’s head nodded. “Big boy.”
“That’s right. I need to go and get your mama.”
“Mama left.”
“No, mate. She didn’t leave…she just got…lost, and I need to go get her, okay?”
His lip wobbled with a new set of tears appearing in his eyes. “I be good. I pwomise. I won’t cry no more.”
Fuck me. My heart was tearing into shreds. He thought this was because he was crying and it destroyed me.
“Van, I’m not leaving you. I promise you. You’ve been a good boy, I know you have. You’re strong, and brave, and one day you’re going to ride around on a Harley like me, okay?”
He smiled through his tears and slowly nodded his head. “Vroom, vroom.”
I chuckled at his sound effects. “Yeah, kid. When I get back, we’ll go for a ride, okay?”
“I go with you.”
“I have to do this alone, mate. I promise I’ll see you again.”
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, dickhead.
He nodded his little head, but I could see the heartbreak on his face. A knock on the door had me looking up to see Chaos standing there, Bane at his side.
“Okay, bud,” I said. “I need you to go with Bane for a few hours.”
Immediately, Van clutched onto me again.
I ushered Bane in and he tried to help me pry Van off me.
His screams were gut wrenching, but I had to do this.
Chaos helped unpeel Van from my body and Bane took him, holding him close as I left the room with Chaos, my entire system crashing at hearing his distress.
“Daddy!”
I stopped in my tracks. He was crying out for me. He needed me.
“He’ll understand when Tavi is back, brother,” Chaos said, shoving me forward. “He’s safe. He’s got his brother. Come on.”
Chaos didn’t understand. He wasn’t a dad. He didn’t know what that terrified scream did to me. I had the need to calm him down, to make sure he was okay.
“He’s with Bane, Mav. He’s safe here. I promise you.”
He was right. I knew he was. Still, I needed him to shove me away from the door and away from the little boy who was screaming out for me, and calling me Daddy. Just like the day he did in the shop.
Fuck.
How my life imploded since then, yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.