Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nicholas pulled into a parking space. In the quiet of his Mercedes, Jasmine reached for her bag.
“Earth to Jasmine.”
“Huh?”
The look he gave her was mildly annoyed. “You’ve been off all night. Are you all right?”
It’s true she hadn’t been fully engaged in their conversations, mentally elsewhere half the night. That wasn’t fair to Nicholas.
“I’m sorry, I have a million things on my mind, and I guess I’ve been a little distracted,” she said.
“Work?” Nicholas asked.
“Yes and no,” she said, which wasn’t technically a lie. Yes, because the issue was related to the job, but no because the “issue” was Maxwell.
“I can take your mind off your problems.” Nicholas reached across the console and placed a hand on her knee, his grip warm and confident.
Her gaze dropped to his hand and then lifted to his face. “Um...” She shifted uncomfortably in the plush seats. “Not tonight. I’m tired, and like I said, I have a lot on my mind.”
Slowly, he withdrew his hand. “Are you blowing me off?”
“Of course not. I...” Jasmine searched for an acceptable answer to give him. “I don’t want you to come up tonight. That’s all.”
He stared at her, and she saw the exact moment his patience thinned when his expression changed. “I just spent over 200 dollars on dinner.”
The air in the car chilled.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jasmine asked.
“I’m saying, I spent a lot of money tonight and put a lot of thought into the evening. I made reservations weeks ago.”
“I appreciate the effort, but what exactly are you implying? Are you saying that I owe you because you spent money on a nice dinner?” Surely, he couldn’t be serious.
“That’s not...” Nicholas took a deep breath, obviously reevaluating how to proceed. “I’m not suggesting that you owe me anything.”
“Funny, cause that’s exactly how it sounded.”
“Jasmine.” He said her name in the same voice he had used in the past when he was annoyed because he thought she was being unreasonable.
“My point is, I planned a really nice evening, you’ve been somewhere else in your head all night, and now you don’t want me to come up.
Something is off, and I’m allowed to mention it. ”
“If you want to have a conversation about my behavior, that’s one thing. You’re not allowed to suggest I owe you access to my apartment or me because you paid for a damn dinner.”
“That’s not what I said,” Nicholas said testily through his teeth.
“You implied it.” She refused to let him gaslight her into believing she was overreacting.
He stared through the windshield at the multi-story apartment building, light spilling out through the glass doors.
“I have been patient with you, giving you space, moving at the slower pace you need. I didn’t want to push.
I know I’m the one who moved away years ago and caused us to prematurely end our relationship, but I’m starting to have doubts about you.
I want to be exclusive and have wanted that for a while.
Are you even there yet?” He turned to look at her. “I can’t tell.”
“You’re bringing up exclusivity because I don’t want you to come upstairs after you bought me a steak and lobster dinner?”
“I’m bringing it up because it’s been on my mind, and tonight makes me wonder if you’ll ever be on the same wavelength as me regarding our relationship.”
Jasmine pinched the bridge of her nose. “We need to have this conversation another time. Not ten-thirty at night in the parking lot of my apartment.” She reached for the door handle.
“I’ll walk you up.”
“Don’t bother. I’ve got it. Good night.”
She pushed open the door and climbed out of the vehicle into the cool spring air. What was the problem with men? Were they all horrible? Was she being unreasonable?
Stalking across the lot, she heard Nicholas’s heavy footsteps behind her and turned around. “You don’t have to walk me up.”
Nicholas threw up his hands. “I’m trying to be fucking gentleman and walk my date to her door. Can I do that?”
She took a good look at him. He was clean-shaven and dressed in a full suit. Aside from his trousers, which were admittedly a tad tight, he appeared stylish and handsome, as always. She wondered, however, about the inside of the man. Had she been wrong about him?
“Did I misread the type of person you are? I had a certain idea of you, and now I’m wondering...” Her voice trailed off.
“What are you talking about?” Nicholas asked irritably.
“In the car, you implied that dinner was a transaction. Maybe you didn’t mean to come across that way, but that’s the way the words came out.”
“I was frustrated, and people make mistakes when they’re frustrated.”
“Or they say what they really mean when they’re frustrated.”
“You’d rather put out for free? Because that’s fine by me.” The words came out sharp and cutting, and she watched in real time as he realized he had messed up again.
“You really are a jerk, aren’t you?” Though she asked the question, she was simply confirming her own thoughts, and she was disappointed. Why did she have such a hard time reading men? Was it her, or them?
“Jasmine,” Nicholas said in a conciliatory tone, “I didn’t mean to insult or offend you.”
“No worries,” she said in an even voice. “I think we’re both at the point in our relationship where we have to make a decision. Do we want to continue and become exclusive, or end it? We should end it, Nicholas.”
He blinked, gawking at her. “You’re overreacting!”
“No, I’m ending this before it goes any further.”
“Because of a comment I told you I didn’t mean?”
Jasmine adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder. “I’m not angry, I promise I understand. You’re accustomed to things going a certain way, and tonight they didn’t, and the truth came out about your expectations.”
His expression shifted, going from shock to something harder. Anger simmered below the surface, and she genuinely felt sorry for him because the evening hadn’t gone the way he had hoped—nor had their relationship.
“I’m a good man,” he declared. “There are plenty of women who would—”
“I know,” Jasmine interrupted quietly and without malice. “I genuinely hope you find one you can be happy with.”
“So that’s it? You’re dumping me?”
She looked steadily into his eyes. “Yes.”
On paper Nicholas seemed like the right kind of man, but she had found the connection she’d been searching for with someone else. Someone magnetic and exciting and funny and kind.
Maxwell.
She didn’t know if he’d follow through with her challenge, but what she did know was that she couldn’t stay with Nicholas. They weren’t a match. She wasn’t as happy as she knew she could be.
“Unbelievable.” His voice took on an edge. “You know what your problem is? You have no idea what you want.”
She sensed the conversation was about to deteriorate, where one or both of them would say things they might end up regretting. “I do know what I want, but I’m not going to stand here and argue with you. Good night.”
“You’re not all that, and you’re selfish,” he said before she could walk away.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. We’ve been going out for weeks and not once have you offered to pay for a meal. Not once have you bought me something or surprised me. You know what I like. But nah, you think being a pretty woman is enough, so to hell with me and my needs.”
He muttered under his breath and marched off, leaving Jasmine to stare after him with her mouth open.
To her surprise, he doubled back. “One more thing. The sex was mediocre at best. You need to move your hips a little more and make some goddamn noise every once in a while to let a man know if he’s doing a good job or not.
Looks can only take you so far, sweetheart.
No man wants a cold fish, no matter how pretty she is. ”
He left again, but this time he didn’t return.
Jasmine remained frozen in place, heat creeping up her neck as humiliation settled over her—heavy and suffocating. Selfish. Mediocre. The words echoed in her head, each carving a fresh wound.
When she finally moved, she let herself into the building on pure instinct and stepped into the elevator. By the time the doors closed, she couldn’t have said if she’d pressed the button herself or if someone else had completed the task for her.
After letting herself into her apartment, she stood in the dark entryway for a moment.
She had liked Nicholas, or at least the person she had believed him to be.
She trusted that she had made the right decision but felt deflated and sad.
She was a good woman, right? She had positive, attractive qualities a man could appreciate.
So why was it so hard to find a man she was compatible with?
When she and Maura talked a few weeks ago, Jasmine had suggested she might be better off alone. Her sister hadn’t been fond of that suggestion, but the more Jasmine thought about it, the more attractive the idea became.
She couldn’t seem to get relationships right, and she was beginning to think the right man simply didn’t exist.