13. A World Where You Aren’t Awake
a world where you aren’t awake
—SAGE
Iwake to the smell of honeyed vanilla and peonies. A scent so sweet it makes my mouth water. I smile, reaching for her before I’ve even opened my eyes. My hand searches across the smooth stone floor.
It finds nothing.
My eyes snap open.
I’m covered in smooth, silk blankets, but the space beside me is empty.
Please tell me this whole thing wasn’t another cruel dream.
I lurch upright, my wings flaring wide, my heart already slamming inside my chest.
“Eden?” My voice cracks.
Droot hops over. Big Bird is awake! Finally! Big Bird fell asleep for so long—
“Where is she?” I cut him off.
The Sun went exploring! Droot chirps happily. She said she was looking around. She said to tell Big Bird she’s just—
I don’t wait for him to finish. I’m already on my feet, stumbling frantically through the house.
“Eden! Please answer me. Please.”
The kitchen is empty. The bathrooms are empty. The bedrooms are empty.
My pulse is beating so loud it’s all I can hear.
I shove the back door open and step into the meadow. The air hits me all wrong. It smells cold and sharp.
The sky darkens in response to my panic. The wind picks up and tears at the grass. Frost spreads from my footprints. Flowers rupture from the sudden change in temperature. The meadow is tearing itself apart, and I have no idea how to stop it.
I follow her scent through the chaos, my wings darkening with every step. Green bleeds into black. The delicate membranes become as hard as bone. Leaves along my arms wither and fall, replaced by black brambles. They slice through my flesh as they grow.
“EDEN!” I scream.
Only the wind answers.
My heart drops.
“EDEN!”
“Sage? Is that you?” her voice calls from somewhere distant.
Oh, thank the gods.
There’s another scent mingling with hers.
I crouch and launch myself into the air for the very first time. I’m not even sure how I do it—my body just takes over.
The ground falls away quickly. From here, I can tell just how much of a labyrinth the meadow really is.
I scan the horizon, searching aimlessly.
I find a white patch in the center of all the green.
That has to be her.
I descend lower, until I see a little speck of orange.
Mí’peora.
And in her lap… is a shimmering animal.
The fox.
My blood turns to ice.
I tuck my wings and aim straight toward her. I don’t care if I break my legs on the landing.
I hit the ground like a meteor, dirt and grass exploding around my feet. The impact sends a shockwave through the clearing.
I don’t take my eyes off the fox, but it vanishes into shadow before I can reach it.
“Get away from the treeline!” I roar. My voice is deeper than usual, similar to the raspy voice that whispers in my mind.
“Sage?” she murmurs, standing up from the log. “What’s wrong?”
“I woke up, and you were gone.”
Her smile falters. “Your eye… it’s turning black.”
My fingers instinctively fly to my face. The scent of her fear hits me harder than the landing did.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I rasp. “Please.”
She steps toward me.
I take two back.
“Your wing…” she whispers.
I glance over my shoulder. One of them is nearly fully black.
“I thought you were gone,” I say quietly. “I woke up, and I was alone. I thought I had dreamt you again.”
The thorns along my arms lengthen.
“I can’t lose you,” I choke. “Not when you just—”
My knees give out, and I fall onto the frosted grass. My wings sag behind me, and the brambles splinter off into dust.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“You didn’t frighten me,” she lies, stepping closer until we’re less than a foot apart.
“I wasn’t angry with you.” I let my forehead fall forward until it rests against her stomach. “I’m angry at the idea of a world where you aren’t awake.”
—EDEN
A giant creature crashes to the ground, and the fox vanishes from my arms in a blur of silver light.
With the black wing, I don’t realize at first that it’s my guardian.
“Get away from the treeline!” he roars.
He sounds terrified.
“Sage?” I breathe, getting up from the log. “What’s wrong?”
He rises slowly from the crater in the dirt. His eyes—those beautiful, mismatched eyes—are different now. In place of the gold iris is a swirling black void.
I take a cautious step forward.
“I woke up, and you were gone.”
His wings twitch. Poor thing is absolutely traumatized.
“Your eye… it’s turning black.”
He reaches for the swirling black eye.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he chokes out. “Please.”
I take another step forward, studying his beautiful black wing. It almost reminds me of a bat’s.
“Your wing…” I whisper.
“I thought you were gone,” he says quietly. “I woke up, and I was alone. I thought I had dreamt you again.”
My heart squeezes.
“I can’t lose you,” he chokes out. “Not when you just—”
I offer him a small smile.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“You didn’t frighten me.” And he didn’t. I was only frightened that he had hurt himself when he landed so roughly.
“I wasn’t angry with you.” He rests his head against my belly, his body trembling against mine. “I’m angry at the idea of a world where you aren’t awake.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” I whisper, threading my fingers through his hair. “I didn’t think about what it would feel like for you to wake up alone after what happened before in your dream.”
“I’m sorry, Eden. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I don’t know what came over me. But that fox—”
“He wasn’t hurting me, Sage.” I tip his face to mine. Tiny lilac flowers bloom where I caress his cheek. “He was so gentle. He just wanted some attention.”
“It wasn’t just a fox, Eden.” He reaches up and covers my hand with his. “I don’t know what it is yet—but there’s something off about it.”
His black eye slowly fades back into gold.
“When I first woke up a year ago, I had to dig my way free from the earth. I was weak and disoriented, and I had no idea who I was.” He pushes his face harder into my hands.
“I realized quickly that the animals in the meadow were drawn to me. Not that creature, though. It was studying me. And I had the oddest feeling that it wasn’t there to see me wake up—it was there to make sure I stayed dead. ”
He shudders. Dread curls from his chest into mine.
“Please. Just promise me you’ll stay away from it until we know it’s safe.”
“I promise.” I press a kiss to his forehead. “Are you ready to go home?”