It’s Sort Of Our Whole Thing
it’s sort of our whole thing
He offers a large, claw-tipped hand to me.
“I don’t have a sister.”
“You do,” he says. “She has grieved you twice. I will not make her wait a third time.”
“My name isn’t Anya. My name is Eden.” I wrap my arms around my belly.
He studies me as snow gathers on his antlers. “It is now.”
“I need to get back to my mates. I never meant to come this far.”
“Eden, I know you can read me.” He crouches beside me. “I judge souls. And yours is just as beautiful as Lumi said it would be. I know you can feel me. So tell me… am I lying?”
I already know he’s not. That’s what makes this so hard. There isn’t an ounce of deceit anywhere inside him. There is nothing but the unwavering love for my sister, and the truth.
“You are her mate?” I ask.
“I am—across two lifetimes.”
“Where is she?”
“She sent me the moment I felt you at the border.”
“Why wouldn’t she come?”
“I wouldn’t let her.”
“Let?” A gust cuts across the clearing, and I pull my coat tighter.
“That’s correct.” He smiles. “She may be your sister. But she is my soulbond, and she had a very rough delivery a few months ago. She is still recovering. And Eirlys is too small to bring out in this weather for too long.”
“Eirlys… I have a niece?”
“You do. And if we’re not back soon, Lumi will ignore me and come to look for us both.”
“But my mates—” The pull in my chest gives a thin tug, so much weaker than it normally is.
“I need you to trust me. You cannot go back right now. Your mates will thank me later.”
“I promise they won’t. Especially if they scent you on me.”
“Come meet your sister, hear what she has to say, and then we can decide.”
My hand tightens over my belly. What should I do, sweet pea? Do you think we should go meet your aunt?
She gives a sharp kick.
“Strong little soul, isn’t she?” he chuckles, pushing up from the ground and towering over me again.
I nod. “She takes after her fathers.”
“I’m not sure if that’s completely true. I think you’ll find out soon you’re much stronger than you remember.”
The baby gives another strong kick.
“Okay.” I reach out and grab his hand.
“You will have to ride me.”
I pull my hand back just as quickly.
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t mean anything by it. It was Lumi’s idea. My cabin is miles away. You are—”he glances down—“heavily pregnant, and it is below freezing. I have another form that will make the journey much faster, but I will not be able to communicate once I’ve shifted.”
“What kind of other form?” I raise a brow.
He shifts before my eyes. His body folds inward with loud cracks that sound like branches snapping.
I stumble backward, losing traction on the ice.
For one horrifying second, I am airborne.
A large paw shoots beneath me, sweeping across my back, catching me before I hit the ground.
Black claws curl carefully into the snow on either side of my body.
I stare up at what he has become. An enormous wolf, stag, feline combination all poured into one impossible frame.
His white fur has gone black and luminous, glittering under the snow, a perfect white stripe running down the length of his chest. His antlers have grown significantly, twisting up toward the moon.
Huge triangular ears swivel toward every sound in the trees. A thick tail flicks slowly behind him.
He lowers himself to the ground and waits, his pale eyes patient, while I rethink every decision that led me to this forest.
“Promise you’ll go slow?” I glance down at my belly.
He nods.
I put one hand against his shoulder. His back is still roughly the height of my waist.
“This is going to be… difficult.”
His ear flicks, and his tail curls behind me, looping around my waist. My feet leave the ground so smoothly I barely feel it happen. He lifts me until I am eye level with his back, then lowers me onto the broad ridge behind his shoulders.
I grab a fistful of fur. “I hope I’m not hurting you,” I murmur.
He turns his head, one pale eye finding mine as his lip curls in amusement. His tail tightens around my waist, then coils a few more times around my hips before the tip tucks itself securely around the base of his neck like a harness.
“You thought of everything.”
His ear flicks again.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Take me to my sister.”
He rises, and his muscles ripple beneath me.
The forest becomes a silver blur, trees bowing out of his path, wind filling my ears.
His tail remains locked around me, absorbing every stride so completely that the baby falls asleep through the flight of her life.
I bury my hands deeper into his lush fur and watch the woods bend around us.
The trees begin to thin, and a low rumble starts beneath me—deep in his chest, rolling up through my palms. He’s purring. A mighty judge of souls is purring like a kitten because somewhere past those trees, is his mate.
Golden light breaks through the branches.
A large cabin sits ahead, its eaves heavy with snow, smoke curling from the chimney, every window glowing warmly.
He slows, his stride softening to a trot before he stops twenty feet from the porch.
His tail unwinds from my hips and he lowers me onto the snow, steadying me until both my feet are certain.
The cabin door flies open and I flinch a step backward.
She’s small, only an inch or so taller than me. Long dark hair spills down her back. She’s wearing a silver sweater and only has one sock on. She stands frozen in the spill of light with her hands covering her mouth.
Her feelings crash over me like a dam giving way. An overwhelming amount of love floods me so quickly I have to grab onto his shoulder so I don’t tip over.
She sprints, skipping the last step and running through the snow in one sock, her arms already open. I walk toward her without meaning to, my hands leaving my belly for the first time all night—
“You,” she sobs. “Oh my God, it’s really you. It’s YOU.” She catches me carefully, her arms wrapping around me. She buries her face in my shoulder and quivers.
I don’t know this woman. And yet, I know her more than anyone else I have ever known.
She pulls back, her hands sliding to my shoulders, and she studies me. Her eyes sweep over my face, my hair, the tears freezing on my cheeks.
“You’re so… different,” she whispers, letting out a wet, disbelieving laugh.
She studies me for another second. “I know none of this makes sense to you. You walked into the woods with a broken heart and a stranger called you the wrong name. So we’re not going to do this out here in the cold.
I’m not going to hand you three thousand years in a snowbank.
” She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear like she’s done it ten thousand times, and my chest squeezes at how familiar it feels.
“I’ve waited so long for you. I can wait one more pot of tea. ”
The cabin smells like clove and vanilla. She tucks me into the coziest-looking chair by the fire, burying me under two quilts and puts a mug in my hands before I’ve finished a single breath. Her mate, human-shaped again, scoops her up and sits her on his lap across from me.
“I am going to give you the most condensed version I can, which is not how I thought this would happen, but there are—extenuating circumstances and time is of the essence.”
“Okay,” I murmur.
“First,” she starts. “This is our third life together. We started this whole cycle three thousand years ago.”
I stare at her in disbelief, but I nod for her to continue.
“Second, my mate, Andrik, and your mate are brothers. Andrik has lived two lives; your mate has lived three.”
My eyes flick to him. Something hard to read settles across his face.
“Third.” Her fingers lace together in her lap.
“In our first life, there was an accident, and before I tell you what happened, you need the rule that governs everything else, so listen carefully.” She holds my eyes.
“He is not the villain in this story—not at all. He was handed a compass that pointed true and a map that was wrong. That is the whole tragedy, Eden. Not cruelty. Blindness.”
“What kind of accident? He who?”
“The kind where everyone was reaching for someone they loved and the ground ran out.” She gives me a sad smile.
“Your mate’s soul, in his first life, felt a pull toward the wrong person, because she carried a piece of the soul he was made for.
He couldn’t stop it any more than you could stop your heart from beating right now. ”
The bond thrums beneath my ribs.
“There was a fight between the brothers, both trying to protect someone, too close to an edge. And someone fell. By accident. And he—” her voice cracks, “—he went off that cliff after her before she hit the water. He gave up his whole life for that little, tiny piece inside her.”
My hand presses over my sternum.
“In the second life—fate repeated itself, in a much darker story. The same soul, led astray by someone who built it that way. The gods have spent thousands of years hunting whatever hand designed it. Blame the design, Eden. Not the boy who walked the maze in the dark and kept walking it, life after life, until it finally, finally led him to you.”
“If Andrik and Sage are brothers, and you are mated to Andrik, and we have always been sisters, and Sage chased the wrong soul… you’re saying—”
She nods.
“That’s what Ashán was trying to tell me. It was you. And they never—” The last piece slides into place. “They were never chasing you. They were chasing me. The piece of me you were keeping.”
“For three thousand years,” Lumi whispers.
It was always— The broken sentence finally lands the way he meant it. You. It was always you.
A tiny cry comes from the other room, and Lumi’s face lights up.
“There’s someone who’s been waiting to meet you.” She disappears through the doorway and returns with a small bundle against her chest. “Say hello to your niece, Eirlys.”
I look down at a face I’ve already seen. Dark curls escaping her knit cap, silver peach fuzz covering her body, and honey-brown eyes just like her mother’s.
“It’s her,” I breathe, stroking a finger over her cheek. “The little beastie from my painting.”
“You’ve seen her?” Lumi’s eyes widen.
“I haven’t just seen her—I’ve been painting her since I woke up. I didn’t know who she was.”
Lumi’s tears spill over. “The soul remembers what it loves.”
Eirlys blinks up at me and yawns.
“There was another figure in the painting with her, a knight.”
“Do you think it could be?” Lumi asks Andrik.
“Could be who?” I murmur.
“I think Caedryn is on his way,” is all he says.
Eirlys stirs against my chest, one tiny fist finding the fabric of my dress and holding on. I look down at this small, warm proof that I have always had a family, and my chest squeezes. I finally have everyone I love in the same life.
A horrid scream shakes the windows of the cabin. Ashán.
Lumi settles on the arm of my chair, her cheek resting against my hair, hand covering mine over my belly.
“Now we wait for your monsters, sweet girl,” she murmurs. “It’s sort of our whole thing.”