Chapter 10
“Downward dog,ladies. Ground yourself in the vibrations of the earth,” Lily’s soothing voice carried over the thirty women in the village green with their heads down on yoga mats and legging-clad bottoms in the air.
Amber’s muscles tensed as she held the position, and her stomach growled, a reminder of the hectic morning. She had woken up late after the previous night at the lake with Theo, and didn’t even grab a dreaded banana on her way out the door.
But today was Lily’s first Saturday yoga class on the village green and she had promised to be there, even if she was regretting her life choices right now.
“Old people are so weird,” Val said. She had given up the pose and sat on the mat, eyeing the women around her.
Amber almost smiled. Val was a grounding force all right, but Amber had poked and prodded her out of bed and made her come. “Just do it for Lily,” Amber grunted.
“And now let your body flow into warrior,” Lily said. Her soothing voice blended into the quiet morning. It was all very peaceful, really.
“You should totally dye your hair purple ombre next. It’s so boring without the pink,” Val said. “Now you look like every other tool that works in an office.”
Maybe peaceful wasn’t the right word.
“Thanks. I’ll take that into consideration.” Amber huffed as she flowed into a warrior. “Are you taking hair suggestions? Because I have a few,” she said.
“Not from the geriatric crowd,” Val said, smirking. She squinted. “Hey, isn’t that your new boss?”
Sure enough, Theo was running along Main Street, tanned muscles glistening in the early morning sun. As he rounded the bend toward the green space where their mats were, he caught sight of Amber.
He grinned, his charming white teeth and dimples on display. She felt that smile like a shot of tequila, straight down to her toes, leaving a burn in its wake so powerful she almost fanned herself.
She stared too. Theo’s gray T-shirt clung damply to his broad chest and his powerful thighs. He looked hot and sweaty and thoroughly male. She would never have guessed her least favorite activity could be quite so...riveting. The look on his face when he’d stood next to her at the lake crossed her mind. For a moment, she had thought he was going to kiss her, as crazy as that would be.
Because it was crazy.
This was the best job she’d had in a long time, and she would not mess it up by sleeping with the boss. How trite would that be? Even so, a small part of her had hoped his impressive control would snap. He had shocked her in the best possible way with his dare to take her panties off, and true to form, her wild streak had come out in full force. She still couldn’t believe she’d flashed him. Freshly waxed and everything. She stopped breathing, remembering the look of hunger on his face.
And lost her balance, tumbling over, and nearly knocking Val over with her. “Ow, you’re heavy.” Val pushed Amber back to her mat. Amber glanced back, but Theo’s back was to them now. She flopped over on her back and held in a groan. Would she never not make a fool of herself in front of the man?
“Shh,” Jessica Thompson hissed sharply. She stood in a perfect warrior position, glaring. “Some of us are trying to find our inner glow.”
“Inner glow?” Val asked, snapping her gum. “You’ll have better luck finding Narnia with that attitude, lady.”
“Ladies, let’s free our minds to accept the peace and stillness of the morning,” Lily’s voice floated nearer, and Amber felt a foot nudge her ribs. She looked up guiltily at her sister. Sorry, she mouthed. Lily rolled her eyes and made her way up and down the aisle of mats.
She forced herself to forget about the mayor”s naughty dare and pay attention to the last bit of class.
But it was hard.
After class, Amber and Val sat on one of the benches scattered around the green and waited for Lily to pack up. When she joined them a few minutes later, Lily took out her inhaler, took two puffs and held it in. “Are your lungs tight?” Amber asked, worried.
While Evie was the youngest, Lily was the sister they all looked out for most. She and Evie were born prematurely, with underdeveloped lungs, but while Evie’s had strengthened as she grew, Lily’s had given her problems all her life.
Dancing, her true love, was a double-edged sword for Lily. The physical activity helped her stay fit and made her lungs strong, but it could just as quickly make it harder to breathe during an asthma attack. She was never far from her inhaler.
Lily shrugged and exhaled the medicine. Her hair was swept back into a low ponytail, and her creamy skin was makeup free. A few freckles scattered over her nose, making her look younger than her twenty-six years. “No more than usual in this heat. It makes it harder to breathe.” She inhaled the medicine, held it, and blew it out again. “I saw the mayor run by.”
Amber avoided her sister’s eyes and rolled up her mat. “Hmm. Did you?”
Lily looked at her curiously. “You still work for him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” Amber said. “It’s only been a week. What? Did you think I blew it already?”
Lily squinted in the sun and shielded her eyes. “No,” she hedged.
Amber poked her in the ribs. “Yes, you did. Admit it.”
Lily hesitated. “Not that you blew it. It’s just that office jobs don’t typically last for you.”
“Not anymore,” Val said, joining them. “She’s drinking the Kool-Aid like the rest of the office rats now. Did you see her corporate hair?”
Lily looked behind Amber’s head at her ponytail. “No more pink?
Amber glared at Val, but Val just shrugged. “It was time for a change,” Amber said. “You could use one too.” She tugged on the dyed-black strands arranged that hid Val’s eyes. “Want me to take you to see Lucy?”
“No,” Val said scornfully. “I’m not a sellout. I’m never going to change who I am.”
Lily looked back and forth between them. “Change happens whether we like it or not. If you’re not changing, you’re not living.”
“Not me,” Val said with the unshakable confidence of a seventeen-year-old. “I’m out. Gotta go pick up Holly and then look for Narnia.”
“Remind me again that teenagers turn into less feral adults at some point,” Amber said, watching Val’s oversized, back cargo shorts and grungy band T-shirt get swallowed up by a sea of women in spandex.
“She’s a hard nut to crack.” Lily nudged her elbow into Amber’s side. “Reminds me of someone else I knew at that tender age.”
“Who, me?” Amber shuddered. “Please. I never got into grunge.”
“No, but you had a chip on your shoulder a mile wide.” She met Amber’s eyes. “You’re very good to that family.”
Amber hugged the mat to her and shrugged self-consciously. “They’re good people that ran into some bad luck.”
Lily stared at her hard. “Is that why you’re so broke?”
“What? I’m not—” Amber started, but Lily held up her hand.
“You don’t have to tell me anything, but I got a call from a debt collections agency about an overdue bill.” Lily’s eyes were concerned. “I know you’ve been helping them out financially for a while now. Is that why you took the job at the mayor’s office?”
Amber started to deflect, but she shrugged instead. “I just hate to see them struggle like we did, you know? Holly reminds me of you and Evie, and Val’s too young to worry about food and money. Sandy’s working as hard as she can, but money’s tight. I help out when I can, that’s all.”
Lily’s eyes softened. “I won’t ruin your reputation by telling anyone what a softie you are. How can I help?”
“You can’t,” Amber said firmly. “Theo’s paying me the big bucks, and I’m getting caught up now on bills. Besides, you just opened the studio. You need to focus on that.”
“You’re still taking care of me like I’m Holly’s age,” Lily said with a touch of frustration.
“And I always will.” Amber changed the subject. “How”s it going with you and Tucker? Did he ever show up for the grand opening?”
Lily looked down and picked at a peeling paint chip on the bench. “No. He came up the next day.”
“He missed your big day?”
Lily stood up and hefted the portable speaker over her shoulder. “It’s fine. He doesn’t understand my passion for dance anyway. He’s too practical for that.”
Lily and Tucker, high school sweethearts—football quarterback and homecoming queen—had always been the perfect couple. Tucker had played football for Northfield High School and took the team to states twice, winning them the championship. He had an offer from a division II school, but the momentum petered out for him after high school and Tucker never got it back. The team let him go eventually because he couldn’t match the talent at that level. Now, Tucker sold life insurance and reminisced about his glory days to anyone who would listen. He was a slick-talking charmer who gave Amber hives whenever he was around.
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Amber said finally. “I wish he had been there to see you. You deserve that.”
Lily smiled and shrugged. “Hey, I saw you and Theo Clairmont were...interestingly aware of each other when he ran by.”
“You know me, I couldn’t not ogle the good mayor. You know you did too.”
“Yeah,” Lily grinned. “I totally did. Who knew all those stuffy suits were hiding that body?” She nudged Amber’s ribs. “It looked like a little more than that, though.”
“Eh, it’s nothing.”
“Since when do you get all red talking about hot men? You’re always so guarded. It’s kind of nice to see you affected.”
“I’m not affected,” Amber said, ignoring the guarded part. “It’s just an attraction.” She shrugged. “It happens.”
“I’m just saying that it looked like some interesting chemistry.” Lily sighed. “Sometimes, I wish I could be more like you. Strong, independent. Badass.”
“Me?” Amber laughed. “Badass? Add in broke and one impulsive decision away from being fired daily, and you’d be more accurate. God, don’t let Mom hear you say that. She’d never forgive me for influencing you.” She looked at her sister with new concern. “Are you that unhappy with Tucker?”
“I don’t know,” Lily said quietly. “I’ve been in love with him for so long, I don’t even know what my life would look like without him.”
Love, Amber thought, didn’t look like leaving your partner alone during milestones. But what did she know? She had never been in love before. Lust was much more her lane.
Lust had boundaries, and more importantly, an expiration date. Romantic love had always made her uncomfortable. Familial love? She had that down. She adored her family, as loud and opinionated as they were. Platonic love? Yep, she had plenty of experience with that. Johnny came to mind. They had tried romantic love briefly, but she quickly realized that type of love wasn’t for her. It was too vast. Too consuming.
Lust was her comfort zone. Just maybe not with her boss, as regretful as that was.
“We’re all here to support you if you want to find out,” Amber said gently.
Lily looked over the park and cleared her throat. “How silly that I’m afraid I don’t know how to be alone.”
Amber reached over and grabbed Lily’s hand. “Listen, I only know how to be alone, so there has to be a comfortable middle ground somewhere. I’ll let you know if I find it.” They both laughed.
“Yeah, Allie found that with Davis. Too bad we can’t clone him. Sister wives? Would that be too weird?”
“Way too weird,” Amber said firmly. “And way too many kids.”