Chapter 18
“I think I pulled a hammy,”Amber said. She sat on the chair in front of Charlotte’s desk, looking over her legs morosely. No pretty heels today. She had to wear her flats after Theo had tortured her with his running schedule. She hadn’t really thought he meant every day, but the man was a sadist.
He had shown up at her door at six-thirty on the dot every morning for the last week looking disgustingly chipper and dragged her along with him on his torturous runs.
To add insult to injury, he bullied her into drinking his disgusting green juice and eating eggs when they were done. She hadn’t had sugar since last week, she thought balefully. It was true she didn’t really crave it, but still. It was the principle.
Theo was out with Neal at a meeting, and she was in Charlotte’s office nursing her sore feet. On top of her sore legs and lack of sleep, she was working harder than she ever had before on the gala planning. While Cheryl from the Grand River Hotel was the one executing the details, it was still more work than she had ever done before, and to make it even more stressful, if her idea flopped and no one came or they hated it, it was Theo who would suffer. She was so not cut out for this.
“I think you might be overreacting just a bit,” Charlotte said. She leaned back in her seat and Amber took a moment to admire her. Charlotte was killing it with the new look. Her fitted dove gray blazer with a blush-colored camisole made her skin look luminous, and she wasn’t trying to blend into the wallpaper anymore. “You’ve survived Theo’s bootcamp for what, a week? I have a lot of money in the pot that you’ll make it until the 5K, so you can’t quit now.”
Amber narrowed her eyes. “Todd, what did you bet?” she called down the hallway.
There was a beat of silence. “I’d rather not say.”
“He bet two days,” Diane said from the front desk. “He’s already out,” she added smugly. “I bet two weeks, so you better not quit yet.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, you traitors,” Amber said huffily.
“Don’t be mad,” Todd said. “After your car wouldn’t start that last time, you Ubered the two blocks from your apartment to work. That didn’t exactly scream ‘athlete.’”
“I had four-inch heels on,” Amber said indignantly. “Those are sitting-pretty shoes, not walking shoes.”
Charlotte looked at her kindly. “We’re all very impressed you’re doing so well.”
“Now I won’t quit just so you’ll win the pot.”
“Don’t do it for me,” Charlotte said. “You’re doing this for you.”
“I’d rather do it for you,” Amber laughed. “I have less chance of failing.”
“You’re not going to fail. This is just going to require more effort than you’re used to.” She leaned back. “Haven’t you ever wanted something so badly that it wasn’t an option to quit?”
Amber picked at a nonexistent thread on her navy pencil skirt. “I don’t think I’ve ever made it that far.”
“What would that look like for you?” Charlotte probed gently. “What would it be? I don’t think it’s any job in this office, is it? Not that you’re not doing a great job as Theo’s assistant. I just get the feeling there’s something else you’d rather be doing with all your creativity.”
Amber shrugged self-consciously. “I guess I’ve always wanted to open a vintage clothing boutique...maybe with some of my own designs mixed in. But that’s a long shot.” She laughed lightly. “Can you imagine me owning a business? I’d have no idea where to start.”
Charlotte smiled. “I do. I’d be happy to help you create a business plan to take to the bank.”
Amber’s chest squeezed for a moment with how much she wanted that, but then reality popped her bubble. “Maybe someday,” she murmured instead. “How are things with you and Johnny? You two have been seeing quite a bit of each other, right?”
Charlotte toyed with her pen. “Yes, we have.” The pink in her cheeks was a dead giveaway. Amber rubbed her hands together, glad to be on more familiar ground. Matchmaking always made her feel better. She might not believe there was one right person for her, but she did enjoy living vicariously through her friends.
Charlotte hesitated. “Johnny told me you two were together briefly years ago.”
Amber winced. She would never forgive herself if their stupid foray into being lovers ruined the good thing Charlotte and Johnny clearly had going. “It’s true that at one point we gave it a go, but that’s all it was. We quickly figured out we’re much better off as friends.”
“I know. He said as much,” Charlotte said, nodding thoughtfully. “But lately, I’ve been wondering if he’s sticking around for the right reasons. For me, not just this version of me, you know?” She gestured to her chic suit and new hair.
How well Amber knew that feeling. She’d rather not dwell on it, but oh, yes, she knew. She knew exactly what it was like to wonder about men and their reasons for wanting her. The men she had chosen over the years were much fewer than she let on for that reason. How could she know they were with her, or the version of herself she allowed them to see when she kept the rest of herself so well hidden?
“I’ve known Johnny for years,” Amber said. “He’s genuinely one of the good ones. Have you talked to him about how you feel?”
“He’s been wonderful, but it’s me. There’s this nagging doubt that I’m not enough for him, you know?”
“I do know, and the truth is, you just have to be yourself. If he’s the man we want him to be, he’ll want every version of you.” Theo’s words from the morning after he took care of her flashed in her head.
I like this version of you.
“He’ll want every version of me,” Charlotte repeated softly. “That’s a lovely thought.”
Yes, it really was.