Chapter 22
A waveof nostalgia hit Amber when she stepped into the pub. It was packed, along with the patio area, which Killian had strung with twinkling lights and speakers for the warm summer months. Eden’s sultry voice filled the bar, singing Amy Winehouse with her customary blend of soul and sex. Whew. Amber paused to admire the delivery. It wasn’t every day a small-town bar got to hear that much raw emotion.
It had been over a month since she’d stepped foot into the pub. Aside from her semesters away at college, that was the longest stretch she had gone since she had taken her first job as a hostess under the old owner. She missed the place. She missed Killian too. It had taken her a while to lick her wounds, but she was finally ready to see him. The familiar spicy scent of Miguel’s famous Buffalo wings mingled with the laughter and chatter around her while she scanned the room looking for Theo. Cap was the first one to see her and he made sure everyone else did too.
”Amber! There”s our girl!” Cap’s voice thundered across the room. He beckoned her over, arms wide open to give her a massive bear hug. The rookies were next, with Jake scooping her up until her feet were kicking the air, and Ethan with a kiss on her cheek and another hug that made her ribs creak. She greeted more of her regulars and some new faces, and soon she was back in the middle of the fray as if she had never left, teasing and flirting with the guys while they exaggerated about who missed her the most.
It was familiar and flattering, slipping back into her old role, charming and teasing anyone around her. She didn’t have to rely on anything other than an easy smile here. Yet it occurred to her that she didn’t actually miss bartending as much as she thought.
She preferred the freedom of flirting and teasing much more when it was on her own terms. The performance, the constant need to be “on” to make more tips when sometimes she’d rather just go home and sew whatever she was working on, or God forbid, not smile at all unless she felt like it. Funny how stepping back into her old world gave her an appreciation for the new one she was making. The thought made her feel even lighter.
“What’s it like working for the mayor?” Jake asked. He threw a heavy arm over her shoulders and drew her closer to his barrel chest. “He better not be working you too hard.”
“Yeah, how come you never come in to visit?” Ethan wanted to know. “You were the best bartender the pub ever had. Now we have Simone, and she can’t do the cherry trick,” he said sadly.
Cap cuffed the rookie. “Because she’s married, you dumbass.” He looked at Amber and grinned. “He’s right. It’s not the same without you here, but you do seem happier now.”
Amber laughed lightly. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Cap.”
“You get enough flattery,” he said gruffly. “I’m just happy you landed on your feet again.” His grizzled white cheeks were ruddy from the heat and the beer, making him look like Santa Claus.
Amber leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I’m so happy to see you,” she said, meaning it. Cap was one of the very few men in her life, aside from Davis, whom she genuinely thought the world of. How lucky they were both part of her family now.
”Glad to see you back, Amber,” Killian said from behind her. Amber turned around and looked up at her old friend. He held out his arms with a silent question, and she walked into them. Killian hugged her tight, all of the awkwardness melting in the face of their long friendship.
“Don’t be mad at me anymore. I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
“I’m not mad. I brought that on myself.” She smiled crookedly while he studied her. ”I just needed time to figure some things out.”
Finally, as if he was satisfied with what he saw, he nodded. ”You’ll always have a job here. I want you to know that.”
“Thanks,” she said, “but I think I’m actually doing okay.”
”Are you happy?”
”Yes, I am happy, or I’m getting there, anyway.” She let the words settle around her, wondering for a moment if she truly meant them, or if they were merely something Marilyn would say. It occurred to her that she hadn’t been happy in any real sense of the word for so long that it was a foreign feeling. She had momentary happiness when she was with her family, or laughing with friends, but to feel content in her life, happy, as Killian asked, was a new and tender feeling.
Scary, really. As if at any moment the other shoe would drop. It was a sobering thought.
As if she had called his name, she looked up to find Theo watching her from across the bar. He was dressed casually in jeans and a dark button down that fitted lovingly over his wide shoulders. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up over his forearms, and the top two buttons undone, exposing the strong, tanned column of his throat.
Earlier, on her blanket, with his shoes off and his feet in the grass next to her, he had been so relaxed with her and her family. It was so easy to imagine other scenarios where he sat next to her, barefoot and smiling with two little girls next to them. The longing of it nearly made her breath skip.
Stop that. Those were dangerous feelings, and she was much more practical than that. Instead, she focused on the powerful lines of his body standing tall among the people surrounding him. He held a beer in his hand, talking to a group of people, but his eyes were on hers.
Direct. Heated. Waiting.
She knew hers were just as revealing. If she closed her eyes, she still felt his rough palm cupping her breast in her kitchen. Could hear his ragged breath in her ear while they watched her silk robe stroke her nipple into a stiff, aching point while he ground his cock into her. A throb of longing in her belly pulsed lower, down to the insides of her thighs, and back up to spread between her legs. This feeling she knew exactly how to handle.
“Jesus, you’re an open book.” Johnny hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her into him, wrapping her in his arms when she tried to pull away.
“What do you mean?” She frowned at him. His wide shoulders blocked her view of Theo.
Johnny buried his head in her neck and whispered in her ear. “You’re not thinking.”
The rough scratch of his beard scraped her, and she tugged away in irritation. “What’s that supposed to mean, and where’s Charlotte?” She grabbed his ear and yanked like she used to when they were kids.
“Ow.” Johnny stopped whatever he was doing to her neck. “I’m saving you two from making fools of yourselves in front of everyone,” he said grimly. “Come on, let’s dance.” He herded her out to the dance floor, keeping his big body between hers and Theo’s.
“You’re being annoying.” She looked around him, but Theo was no longer there. Damn. “And where’s Charlotte?” she asked again, angry all over again on behalf of her friend. “Weren’t you supposed to go out tonight?”
“At Bingo night with her mom,” he smiled goofily. “She wouldn’t let me go, but I’m meeting her later.”
Amber softened at that smile. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t go to Bingo for just anyone.” He spun her around and when she was back in his arms, he looked more serious. “Be careful, Amber.”
And there it was, the nebulous feeling that she couldn’t quite shake.
She searched his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Everyone’s watching what happens with you two. You’re working for him, the morning runs, and now he’s meeting your family. If things don’t work out, it’s not the golden boy of Northfield that’s going to feel the damage, it’ll be you. I don’t want to see you hurt again.” He searched her eyes, and Amber remembered Johnny as a fifteen-year-old kid fighting over her honor.
“It’s fine. There’s nothing going on between us,” she lied. “I’m just trying to get him to loosen up a little, you know, be a man of the people and all before the big election.”
Sure. If loosening up meant hot-as-sin food fights in her kitchen where she ended up topless. That was definitely to benefit his political career. Very selfless of her, really.
She smiled, bright enough to block out any more of those sensible thoughts. Everything was fine. Fine. She had it all under control. She knew not to get attached. Please. She could write a book on not getting attached. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know. I’m not a kid anymore.”
He spun her out and back gracefully. “I’ll always worry about you.”
“Hey, what did Theo want to talk to you about yesterday?” She asked when they came back together.
“He wanted to know about us.” He dipped her low and she held onto his shoulders.
“What did you tell him?”
Johnny spun her again, and when she came back, he was grinning that bad boy smile. “Not a goddamned thing.”
“I keep tellingpeople that happy hours are supposed to be happy.” Ford slid onto the barstool next to Theo.
“It’s not happy hour.” Theo said. He watched Amber being touched by yet another man, this time the one she’d stuck her tongue out to the night she was fired. The kid bear-hugged her, and her little white sundress swung back and forth teasingly across the back of her thighs. He set her down and she immediately settled under his arm, smiling up at him.
“It’s always happy hour here,” Killian said, sliding a beer in front of Theo. He followed Theo’s gaze. “Ah, Amber’s here,” he said, shooting Theo a knowing look. “Is that what you’re brooding about?”
“I’m not brooding,” Theo said, brooding. Okay, he was. But the night had turned out vastly different than he had thought, and he was allowed to brood a little.
“Rochester’s Most Eligible Bachelor can’t brood,” Ford said. “What’s the problem? Did your date leave you hanging again?”
“Fuck off,” Theo said.
“Is that any way for the mayor to talk?” Ford grinned. “I’m shocked.” Killian opened another bottle of beer and set it in front of Ford, who used the tip of it to point to Amber. “Is that the problem?”
Johnny, the big bastard, was dancing with Amber now. She was tucked in against his chest close enough to make Theo’s teeth grind.
Killian sighed. “That’s definitely the problem,” he said, giving Theo a look.
“There’s no problem,” Theo growled at his two closest friends. “Amber’s my assistant. We met up at the movie night at school and walked over for a beer. That’s all.”
“That’s all,” Ford said thoughtfully. “Is that why you’re glaring at John Rossi like that? Because I’m telling you, that’s one guy I don’t think either of us could take. He’s a big son of a bitch.”
“Why would I care who my employee spends time with?” Theo turned his back on the two of them, but the mirror behind the liquor on the back wall showed their reflection. Amber wasn’t laughing like she usually was. There was no outrageously seductive smile for the man holding her in his arms. They were talking now, barely moving on the dance floor, and Theo was somehow even more pissed than watching her flirting.
And, yes, jealous too. The icy-hot burn of watching her be so intimate with someone else. She was so goddamn guarded, but he had caught fleeting glimpses of her under the dazzling smiles and outrageous things she said and did. Tonight, he thought he had sensed a shift between them, where she had been willing to open up.
“Don’t look at me.” Killian shrugged. “I have a policy against dating employees for a reason. Nothing but trouble there.”
That’s the fucking truth.
An hour ago, he’d been next to Amber’s warm, sweet body on a blanket under the stars, and now he was watching her being mauled by the one man Amber smiled at like she smiled at him. Who else got to see that beautiful smile? Who else had known the feel of her sweet, lush body pressed against his? Who else had felt the weight of her breast and felt the flutter of her heartbeat underneath his hand? If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the curve of her lovely ass pressing against his cock in her kitchen.
Bitterness and jealousy swelled in him, and he was ashamed. He wasn’t this kind of man. He had no right to feel this way. She hadn’t promised him anything. He hadn’t asked, either.
But he wanted to. Sitting next to her tonight, he had wanted more. He had thought she wanted it too.
Talk about whiplash.
While he watched, Johnny spun her out and back, and she wound up in his arms again, laughing up at him.
Jealousy, ugly and vicious, swirled in him, and he felt small. Theo pushed back from the bar abruptly.
“You’re leaving already?” Ford asked. “I just got here.”
“Been a long day.” Theo said. “Here, drinks are on me.” Theo laid a few bills on the bar and turned to leave. He would go home and lose himself in work for a few hours. It was his go to when he needed to find order and reason.
Halfway to the door, he heard his name.
“Hey, boss, where are you going?” Amber smiled up at him. Her eyes were golden brown in the dim light. Her skin under her white dress looked like satin. He wanted—that’s all. He wanted.
Desperately. Hungrily. In the most base way, he wanted her lush body, and in an entirely unfamiliar way, he wanted the version of her he had glimpsed earlier. Softer, less guarded. Happier. Real.
“Headed home,” Theo said, gently disengaging her arm. “Have a good night,” he said politely. Tightly. As if he wasn’t hard as a rock and going to go home to jerk off to thoughts of untying the little ribbons on her shoulders and burying himself in the hot, wet center of her.
“So soon? It’s still early, or is your warm milk waiting for you?” she taunted him. “Oh,” she gasped, her eyes going wide in delight. The first chords of “Don’t Stop Believing” thrummed from Eden’s guitar and the packed bar started cheering. “I love this song. Come sing it with me.” She tugged his arm toward the stage. “Eden always calls me up for this one.”
“I’m never getting on that stage,” he said curtly.
“Come on.” She leaned in closer. “This time won’t end up in a tattoo, I promise.” Her eyes sparkled at him teasingly. They were next to the long, dimly lit hallway where Killian’s office and storeroom were when Theo stopped abruptly.
He pushed her into the first room and kicked the door shut with his foot, crowding her against the door in the dark room. The silver glint of kegs and CO2 tanks along the walls made the room feel close and intimate.
“What are you doing?” she laughed, turning around. “Are you crazy? Someone could have seen us.” She leaned back against the door.
“Isn’t that what you like?” He asked her, knowing he was wrong, but frustration and desire drove him now. “Putting on a show?” He took a step closer, close enough she had to lean her head back against the door. Eden’s voice rose and fell from the barroom, but the sound of Amber’s breathing filled his ears.
The air between them shifted instantly. Her laughter died away, replaced by a charged silence. She smiled slowly. “Oh, I see now,” she said softly, shifting her hips against his swollen cock. “Is that what this is about? You want me, but you won’t let yourself have me?” She drew her finger down his chest, leaving a burning trail in her wake. His stomach clenched. “Always the perfect gentleman.”
His pulse raced. Slowly, his hands came to her shoulders, and caught and lingered for a moment on the little bow, fingering the fabric. How easy it would be to tug the ribbon and see all that creamy skin. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, he was sure of it. He could see it in her sultry eyes and feel it in her ragged breathing.
He didn’t miscalculate that emotion. It was the only one she didn’t hide.
But he wanted more.
“Take what you want,” she breathed. Her lips were pink, tilted up in that wickedly curving smile that made him so crazy. He quickly gripped her wrist and brought it back to the door next to her head. Her breasts rose and fell steadily against her chest, so close he could feel the press of her nipples through his shirt.
She slid one arm around his neck and raised her lips. “Finish what you started in my kitchen.” She rolled her hips against his, deliberately. Hard. Notching her softness perfectly against his hardness.
“Don’t,” he said harshly. “Just—” Now it was his breathing that echoed in the small room. Every muscle in his body was rigid with pent-up desire. He wanted to lift her up and feel her legs tighten around his waist, to untie her dress and see her beautiful bare breasts in his hands, and suck her nipples until she went wild. And most of all, finally, finally thrust into her wet, welcome heat while he fucked her against the door.
Jesus. This was insane. This wasn’t him. They were in a supply closet, for fuck’s sake. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated beyond measure. “I have to go,” he said very, very quietly.
“I thought . . .” she started, then stopped abruptly.
“You thought what?”
“Never mind,” she said, lifting that little determined chin. “It doesn’t matter.” She smiled ruefully. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, as if she needed to hear it again.
She turned to leave. Theo stepped up behind her, tight and close to her body, until she was pressed between him and the door. Her scent filled him, the soft curls of her hair brushed his face and he let himself breathe her in.
It could, he wanted to say. It could matter to us both. But he didn’t say that because she wasn’t ready to hear it. She might never be, and he would just have to live with that.
He straightened up and opened the door for her.