Chapter Eleven
Josie
Seven Weeks Postpartum
Standing in my salon, a smile spreads across my face.
Since I showed Harper and Evie this place I have felt more excited to open back up.
Evie and I have spent many hours here over the last week tidying everything up and getting the place ready for when I get the all clear and can start taking clients.
One afternoon we did an audit of everything I had in stock.
I swear I saw Evie drool when I asked her what’s the best way to go about this.
She found the perfect program to document everything.
We got rid of anything that was about to expire and made a list of what needs to be ordered over the next couple weeks.
I have never seen my place more organized than it is now.
I put up my newest art piece that the boys gifted me for Valentine’s Day.
I cried when I looked at it. Evie was so sneaky about getting this done, I was so grateful for the time she spent with them to do it.
It hangs proudly behind my counter next to my certificates.
Excitement sparks across my skin as I think about all the possibilities of starting back up with work. This work has always come so easily to me, I love being able to pamper the clients who come through my door.
My salon allows these people to have a safe place to relax and be taken care of. Which is something I always love doing.
The bell rings, alerting me that someone has walked through the door. I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Evie with Hayes. My breasts started to ache about two minutes ago, so I figured he was going to wake soon from his nap wanting a feed.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bug you. Hayes just woke up from his nap and as soon as I finished changing him he started rooting around on my collar bone.” Evie talks to me, but her focus is on the guy in her arms.
I head for one of the chairs. Once comfortable I wait for Evie to place him in my arms. While my incision has started to get better, I haven’t been cleared to fully get back to all normal activities. I have my appointment tomorrow with our OB-GYN to see if I get the all clear.
I’m crossing all my fingers and toes to be able to get back to normal activities. All normal activities.
When I had Shiloh I had no sex drive. I also had a severe case of postpartum anxiety. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off over everything that could go wrong. I didn’t trust anyone to watch him, other than Monty. Even then it was short lived, before I took Shiloh back.
It took me a while to realize that what I was experiencing wasn’t exactly normal, but after getting connected to a therapist, it all made sense then.
The thoughts that never could turn off, the fear that I’m fucking up my child, the restlessness.
I thought it was all normal as a first time mom who was getting into a new routine with a tiny human.
A tiny human you were now responsible for.
Can we talk about the fact that we’re followed up so closely through the whole pregnancy, the whole nine months. Then you give birth and as soon as mom and baby get the okay to go home you’re on your own?
It still baffles me, because it takes a village.
I look down at Hayes and watch as he feeds, thinking about our village. We’re so lucky to have both my parents and Monty’s parents so involved despite not living super close by. They love these kids so much, and they offer so much knowledge and support.
Then I think of our best friend. Xavier has always been shut off when it comes to accepting love.
That’s what happens when you lose your first love right in front of your eyes.
I remember the first time I saw him break down after Shelby passed.
Monty and I held him as we let him get it out.
My heart still aches for the teenager who had to experience such a loss at such a young age.
Which means that, the ones he does hold close to his heart he loves and cares for them fiercely. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend to be an uncle for our boys, and now we have Harper too.
That woman is exactly everything Xavier needed to be able to let his walls down, and they’ve made each other so much better in so many ways.
Yeah, my village is pretty strong and mighty. I look over at Evie, and a sense of comfort washes over me. Now Evie is a part of our village too.
“So, we have our doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
” I tell Evie, while taking Hayes off my breast and moving him onto my shoulder as I begin patting his back.
“They’re both in the morning right after Shiloh gets on the bus.
I have a bit of running around I want to take advantage of while we’re in town and then, I figure we can grab some take out for supper on the way home?
Harper is going to come to the house to get Shiloh off the bus just in case things run long. ”
“Yeah, that sounds good!” Evie replies, it’s then I realized that she’s been putting away the order that got delivered today. “Should we try out the new kitchen that opened up in Westroth? What’s it called again, Bearclaw Street Kitchen?”
“Oh, yes. Can you look up the menu to see what they have?” I ask Evie, as a satisfied burp leaves Hayes.
We go over everything on the menu that we find online.
There were so many options that I know I’ll have to convince Monty to take me there for a night out.
I decide to have the miso mushroom sliders with fries in my mind, even though I know I will probably choose something different because that spicy birria mac n cheese sounds like heaven.
“I can already tell that this restaurant is going to be my new favorite.” Evie sighs as she looks over the menu again. “Like honestly. I’m going to have to steal Harper for a girls' night out to have these pulled pork wonton tacos and margarita’s.”
There’s a comfortable beat of silence falls over us. I take another final look at the salon and pride swells in my chest. Giving myself a few minutes for the feeling to sink in before we get up and make our way back to the house to get ready to get Shiloh off the bus.
My body is thrumming with excitement as we leave the OB-GYN’s office. I have officially been cleared to resume all regular activities. All regular activities. My mind floats to my husband and how I can’t wait to jump his bones tonight once the kids are in bed and Evie has left for the night.
My brain pauses briefly at the thought of her not going to the loft for the night and staying, but I quickly shake that off.
I’ve been with my handful of women before, but it’s not well known that I’m bisexual.
Obviously Monty knows, we’ve shared women and men before, I’m just not vocal about it.
I won’t deny my sexuality and if anyone asks, I’ll tell you.
The reason I’m shaking that idea out of my head is because that isn’t a line we should cross.
I find Evie attractive in more than just her looks.
I love her sass and the way she spends time with the kids.
I don’t want to mess things up if something doesn’t work out.
That leaves someone hurt and her not being involved in our lives, but I don’t want to fixate on that.
So, I fixate on the one other thing I can now that I have the all clear. Opening my books for my beauty bar. All the work that Evie and I have done together to get the shop back up and ready to take on clients makes it so much easier to be excited about announcing I’m going to be opening up again.
I’m going to take an extra week before I actually take my first clients, but all I need to do now is switch my booking system back into accepting clients and posting about it on my socials.
“I feel like this is a cause for celebration!” Evie sing songs to me as we get into the SUV.
“I think it does! Let’s stop on the way home and grab a couple celebratory drinks to put in the fridge for later once the kids are in bed.” I suggest. Having secured Hayes’s car seat in the base I close the door and hop into the passenger seat.
The running around after the appointment is quick, and I even drive the rest of the way home. After being a passenger for almost eight weeks it was slightly weird getting back into the driver side.
When I took my seat behind the wheel, it was like no time had passed. I quickly and easily relaxed into the motions of driving. Thankful that there were no reckless drivers during our trip.
The car smells delicious of all the food that we picked up from Bearclaw Street Kitchen, and I cannot wait to sit down and devour the mac n cheese that I ended up switching too.
Monty and Xavier’s trucks are in the driveway when we pull up. Looks like the gang’s all here.
“Is this why you ordered extra food when we put our order in?” Evie asks.
My lips twitch as I unbuckle myself.
“Trust me, you’ll soon learn that Monty and Xavier are attached at the hip.” I quip. The last eight months Xavier hasn’t been around as often as he was focusing on the clinic and getting the permits and everything sorted. That and Monty had a lot of projects on the go.
When we’re busy like that, we don’t see each other that often.
“Now that the clinic’s upgrade is done Xavier will be around a lot more often.
” I think about it for a second before continuing, “well, maybe not since he’s been with Harper, but that won’t stop those too from spending time with each other. ”
As soon as we are all out of the vehicle and heading toward the house, the front door opens and Shiloh comes running out.
“momma! Auntie Harper and Uncle Xavy got me off the bus today!” The pure excitement shines through his body as he crashes into my body giving me the tightest hug.
“That must have been so exciting bubs!” I respond, while wrapping my free arm around him.