Chapter 15
The Almost Kiss
Ben decided not to kiss Lucy on Friday night.
This required more discipline than fighting an actual fire.
They were alone in the library after closing, hanging paper leaves from the ceiling of the children's room. Lucy stood on a ladder. Ben held it.
"Two inches left," she said.
"You say that every time."
"Because you keep putting things two inches too far right."
"Maybe your center is wrong."
Lucy looked down at him in horror.
"My center is never wrong."
Ben laughed.
She stepped down.
The ladder shifted slightly.
Ben caught her by the waist.
Lucy landed against him.
Everything stopped.
His hands were still on her sides.
Her palms rested against his chest.
They were close enough that he could see a tiny freckle near her left eyebrow.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yes."
Neither moved.
Ben wanted to kiss her.
Not impulsively.
Not because she was close.
Because he had been thinking about it for days.
Because he loved her.
Because every small moment with her had started arranging itself into a future he had not expected.
Lucy looked at his mouth.
His heartbeat kicked hard.
Then her phone rang.
She jerked back.
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
It was not fine.
Lucy answered.
Her expression changed.
"Hi, yes. This is Lucy Harper."
Ben stepped away to give her privacy.
He pretended to adjust the paper leaves.
"Thursday works," she said. "Yes, I'll be there. Thank you."
She ended the call.
"Good news?" he asked.
Lucy looked at him.
For a second, she seemed uncertain.
Then she nodded.
"I got an interview."
"For what?"
She told him.
New York. Ten months. A program she had wanted for years.
Ben felt the future in his head rearrange itself.
He smiled anyway.
"Lucy, that's huge."
"It's only an interview."
"Still huge."
She studied him as if she expected something else.
"You think I should go?"
"Of course."
The answer came easily because it was true.
Something in her face closed.
Ben did not understand why.
"Okay," she said.
She turned back to the ladder.
Ben looked at the paper leaves above them.
He had done the right thing.
So why did it feel like he had missed something important?