Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ADDISON
“Is there any coffee?” Brenden asks with a manic edge of desperation in his voice as he comes barreling into the kitchen.
I roll my eyes and point to the pot. “You can have that, but it’s been sitting there a while. Or if you can handle waiting fifteen minutes, I’ll brew a new one for you.”
His beeline for the pot is no surprise. Neither is the way he pours himself a cup, takes a large gulp, makes a disgusted face, and then continues to drink it.
“Rough day?” I ask, though I’m afraid I’ll regret it.
He shakes his head and takes another sip. “No, it’s been normal. I’m just exhausted because Travis kept me up late last night.”
Yup. Regret.
After a pause in which I don’t respond to him, he says, “Do you wanna know how he kept me up?”
“Nope,” I answer quickly. “I definitely do not.”
“I don’t either,” Sam chimes in from the prep table.
Brenden startles like he forgot there were other staff in here, and to his credit, he looks at least somewhat abashed.
But then he comes over to where I’m wiping a counter and sets his coffee cup down in my way.
Grinning at me like the little shit that he is, he whispers conspiratorially, “It’s okay. I’ll tell you later.”
“No, you won’t,” I say firmly, picking up his cup and forcing it back into his hands so I can finish cleaning.
“Anyway, we have a wedding booked in October, and the bride and her planner want to meet with you to go over the menu as soon as possible.”
“No problem.”
Tilting his head back, he drains the rest of his coffee, then puts the cup in the sink. And after making me promise to let him know whenever I do make a fresh pot, he leaves.
I finish getting things ready for dinner, then tell Sam I’m taking a break. I need to get that number for the wedding planner, so, against my better judgement, I go looking for my annoying boss.
He’s alone in his office, which means there’s nothing stopping him from being inappropriate. When he sees me, his eyes widen hopefully. “Coffee?”
“Sorry, not yet. I just wanted to grab that bride’s number so I can set up the meeting.”
“Oh, right, sure.” He looks it up on his computer and scrawls it down on a lime green Post-it for me. Then before I can turn and make my escape, he says, “Are you sure you don’t want to hear about what I did last night? Because I think we might have invented a new position.”
“I doubt that. And no.”
He juts out his lip in an exaggerated pout, but luckily, I’m not his boyfriend, so it has no effect on me. “Okay, fine,” he says. “But you know, you could still tell me about any fun activities that’ve been keeping you up late at night. If you wanted to.”
“I don’t.”
“Are you sure?” he pushes.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are we close enough friends for this?”
This time his pout seems genuine. “I thought we were.”
Sighing, I relent and offer him a small crumb. “Yes, Riley has been staying at my house a lot lately. But that’s all I’m going to tell you.”
He gasps and claps his hands a couple times. “That’s great! I mean, it was pretty obvious, but I’m glad you’re not trying to deny it anymore.”
That gives me pause. “It’s only been obvious to you, right? Nobody else knows?”
“Well... you did drop her off one morning, and she walked in here wearing what someone guessed was one of your flannel shirts. Danny suspects something, and a couple of the other staff. But you know none of them will say anything.”
I do know that. But still, we should probably start being more careful. Riley might be considering some form of coming out, but it should be on her own terms. I’ll lose it if she gets outed publicly before she’s ready.
“So she talked to me the other day,” Brenden says. “She wanted to let me know that she might be leaving soon, but she also might end up staying a lot longer. She wanted to make sure I didn’t need the room.”
“Yeah, it’s... complicated.”
He smiles at me. “She wants to stay, doesn’t she?”
I nod.
“Because of you?”
I think of the conversation we had last week. How we pretty much admitted our feelings for each other. And how she talked about being tired of dealing with all the toxicity of the industry and potentially wanting to step back from it.
Riley’s a smart, strong woman. She’s more than capable of deciding what’s best for herself.
But it’s a hell of a lot she’d be walking away from.
I know she can’t make that decision lightly.
And even though she’d be doing it for plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with me, the idea that she might also be factoring me into her decisions sort of scares the crap out of me.
I don’t want to put any pressure on her. Especially because this thing between us is so new, and I can’t guarantee I’ll be any good at a relationship after my faith in them was shot to hell by my cheating ex-wife. But I want to try for her.
I want her to stay for me.
Fuck, I want so many things that I never thought I’d want again. How did I let this happen?
And if it doesn’t work out...
“Woah, hey, it’s okay,” Brenden says, getting up and rushing around his desk to put a hand on my back. The concern in his eyes makes me realize I might have been freaking out a little.
I force myself to take a deep breath. “If she chooses to stay, it won’t be only for me,” I explain. “We’re not rushing into anything. She has a lot she needs to figure out. But yeah, we’ve talked about it, and we’d maybe, uh... We’d like the chance to be together if it’s possible. Maybe.”
“That’s awesome!” He rubs his hand one time up and down my back, then I snap my head to glare at him, and he steps away from me with his hands in the air.
“But she might still be leaving,” I say. “Her manager told her she needs to.”
“I think it’s up to her to decide what she needs, isn’t it?”
And what if she decides she needs her fame a lot more than she needs me?
“All you can do is communicate your feelings for her,” Brenden continues. “For what it’s worth, I can see that you both make each other happy. And I’m rooting for you.”
His calm sincerity is such a change from his typical chaotic energy that it makes me feel weird inside. I don’t know how to respond to him like this. He’s easier to deal with when he’s making stupid jokes and being annoying.
It’s possible I only feel weird about it because it’s been a while since I had any real friends around.
Most of my friends in Chicago were mine and Christy’s together, and I pretty much lost contact with them all when I left the city.
Some of them knew about the cheating and didn’t feel the need to tell me, so that was also a pretty big factor.
I still don’t understand how I wound up in this crazy town with this crazy man who decided to be my friend. But I guess it doesn’t entirely suck. I could do worse.
Clearing my throat, I stare at the floor and tell him, “Thanks. I know I’m bad at showing it, but I do appreciate it. And you.”
That’s the best I can do. I think I’ve reached my limit of sharing for the day. But with the wide smile Brenden gives me, it seems that was enough to make him happy.
I leave his office, but I still feel unsettled. As my ears pick up the faintest trace of piano music and my feet automatically take me toward the ballroom, I realize that feeling probably has a lot to do with the gorgeous redhead who has somehow burrowed herself inside my heart.
The music gets louder as I approach the ballroom doors, and when I slip inside, I find Riley at the piano, wearing a peach-colored sundress with little white flowers on it.
Her hair is swept over one shoulder, leaving her upper back and other shoulder bare except for the thin dress strap. Seeing her eases something inside me.
As I walk toward her, she twists her head my way and smiles, then turns back to the piano without pausing her playing. I’m right behind her when she starts to sing.
She brings me peace like I’ve never known
I was lost, feeling untethered and alone
But when I’m in her arms, it’s like coming home
A sense of safety deep down in my bones
I never knew it could feel this way
She makes me eager to face each new day
And this can’t be wrong, no matter what they say
The way she loves me is what makes me brave
And now I’m light as a feather
Now I’m walking on air
Now the colors are brighter
I see hope everywhere
And now the nights don’t upset me
Now the cold, I can bear
Now the mornings are lovely
All because she is there
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until she stops playing and the silence settles over us.
I’m not sure if she’s breathing either. She’s suddenly as still as a statue.
I place my hand between her shoulder blades, and she jolts as if she wasn’t aware of my presence, even though she clearly was.
Then her shoulders sag, the tension appearing to melt away.
Her skin is warm under my palm. As I slide my hand up to the nape of her neck, she leans back into my touch. But she hasn’t turned to face me. It takes a few more moments before either of us speaks, and when we do, it’s at the same time.
“Was that—”
“That was beautiful.”
Finally, she looks at me over her shoulder. “Do you mean that?”
I step over the bench so I can sit beside her, placing my hand on her thigh. “Of course. Do you not think so?”
With a small shake of her head, she says, “No, I do. I really like it.” She averts her gaze to where my hand rests and begins idly tracing her fingers over the top of mine.
“But I didn’t mean... about the she loves me line.
.. I don’t think you—” She shakes her head harder this time.
“The lyrics fit, so, um, that’s all it was, and—”
I lean in and cut her off with a kiss. It’s meant to be brief, but her hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, holding me there a few seconds longer. I wish I could do more to reassure her that she hasn’t scared me off.
I wish I could give her those words.