Serena
Evan has made every day memorable for me. We spent the last four days together doing all the things we loved. Most days, we spent at the beach- Evan’s favorite place- but he also took me on a trip down memory lane. Every place holds a special memory between us. Unfortunately, most of the memories have Cleo attached to them. He took me to the movies, ice cream parlors, the boardwalk, and all these random stores I had forgotten about. There is not a single place that doesn’t have some memory of him attached to it.
Each night, Evan took me out to dinner. We would talk about our future. Evan kept bringing up when we should get married and start a family. He insisted that we needed to get married as soon as possible and start a family shortly after. Of course, I want to get married and have kids one day, but not anytime soon. My mom was young, and it was difficult for her. She worked so hard to get a better life for us, but I watched her struggle all the time, even with help from my grandparents.
My mom always told me never to let a man dictate my life. She had an ex-boyfriend in high school who tried to do that to her. She never wanted me to experience that. Mom was so willing to be with him and do what he wanted that she almost gave up on her dreams. It is obvious this guy meant a lot to her- once upon a time- but she never talks about this elusive ex unless it is to warn me off guys like him.
Granted, I never listened. I have always let Evan dictate my life. Unlike her, I am happy. Or as happy as I can be.
I think.
My mom had a taste for bad boys. She hung out with the wrong crowd growing up. That put her in some precarious situations. I once saw pictures of my mom at my age. I am the perfect likeness to her; the only difference is how we act. My mom was a wild child who was always in trouble. The police arrested her more than once back in her hometown.
I am the opposite of that. I have always been the quiet girl who followed the rules and did what I was told. Having a single mom, I never wanted to be too much for her. I saw the neighborhood kids have both parents there for them. They could be wild and crazy because they had the support system they needed.
I wanted to make her life easy.
Every night Evan and I went out for dinner, he would push the subject of our future a little more. What he wanted and what he thought we should do. If he had it his way, we would get married immediately. He wants me to be a stay-at-home mom and wants at least four kids. I laughed a little too much the first time he told me that. I was glad we were in a restaurant when it happened. It is the only reason he didn’t make a scene. He has always been extremely cautious with the way people perceive him.
Evan comes from a well known family. His father is a prominent politician in the area. He has always believed in the traditional family roles, and Evan is the same.
If you looked at them from the outside, you would think they are the perfect family. I thought that until I started dating Evan. Then the cracks in their family started showing. It’s not news to anyone that his father has a reputation of cheating on his mom, but no one has ever come forth and actually accused him of anything.
Evan’s mom reminds me of the stereotypical housewife from the fifties. She is always so polished and perfect. She is the sweetest woman, but there are days I wonder if she is truly happy in her life.
Every time Evan brought up the subject of having kids, I would try to change the subject. I love kids, but I have never thought about how many I would want. Planning for kids and having them are two different things. Evan comes from a big family. He wants to have as many children as his parents did. He is steadfast that we will have at least four, so I just dropped it for now. There is no point in arguing with him.
We have all the time in the world to plan that part of our lives anyway. We are still teenagers.
I never considered being a stay-at-home mom. I want a career and a life of my own. I want to be independent. Evan wants to take care of me for the rest of our lives. Yes, I like the idea of someone taking care of me, but I still want to be able to support myself as well. I want to be able to decide my future.
It is my last day in town. Evan had to cancel our plans together today, saying something came up with his family. He did not tell me what was going on, and I didn”t ask. He promised to make tonight memorable.
We are in his dorm room tonight, sitting next to each other on the floor in front of the TV, watching his favorite movie. Evan has been abnormally quiet but very touchy-feely with me. His hands are always on some part of my body. Kissing me randomly.
We finish our food while the movie is still playing. I go to grab his takeout container to throw away. Instead, he takes mine and tosses it away before sitting beside me. I give him a tentative smile. He never does things like that for me. I have always been the one to clean up the messes. He is a big believer in women being women. Cleaning, cooking, housework, child baring, etc.
He looks at his phone, checking the time before turning to me.
“Serena, I wanted to give you something before you leave tomorrow morning.” He sounds so nervous. He is rubbing his hands on his jean-clad thighs.
“What’s that, Evan?” My anxiety rising, perplexed about what is going on.I stare at the man I have known almost all my life. His brown eyes are shining, happy. His normally stern face has soften, a small smile gracing his lips. He is a handsome guy, but at the same time he isn’t memorable when you look at him. I should be able to see my future in his eyes, but I cannot.
Evan pulls a small black box from his pockets and holds it close to his chest. “Serena Gold. I love you. I want the world to know. I need to make sure that no guys will ever try to make a move on the most amazing girl there is. I want to make you mine. Will you marry me?” He opens the box. Inside is a ring with a large circular diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller diamonds on a platinum band.
I can’t breathe.
My brain stops working as I look between him and the ring in his hand.
Is this really what I want? We are still so young and have our whole lives ahead of us. My hands grow sweaty, and my breathing turns ragged. My eyes are wide while I stare at him. With each second of silence, the tension grows between us, and he grows angrier.
Evan is still on one knee, his hand clenches around the ring box. I look at the ring again. I would never pick out for myself. I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to figure out the right words to say to him. The words are warring in my head. A part of me wants to say yes. The other part is telling me to grab my stuff and run.
“I-I don’t know what to say. Aren’t we too young for this?” I ask gently. His smile completely fades, and is quickly replaced with a terrifying sneer that makes me want to tremble. I know that look. I have only seen it a few times.
“Are you fucking saying no to me?” He yells, getting to his feet. He may not be much taller than me, but he makes me feel so small and weak.
I can feel my body internally shrinking, trying to hide from his rage. I want to say anything to appease him, but I can’t. The words are stuck in my throat, not willing to come out.
I feel his slap before I even notice him moving. His hand connects hard with my cheek. I fall on my back. My cheek burns from the pain, and tears well in my eyes. He quickly advances on me, and I fold in on myself, trying to protect myself from the next blow I knew was coming.
He straddles my body on the floor. Evan roughly grabs my shoulders and shakes me. My head bouncing off the floor with each shake. My eyesight starts to blur, tears running down my cheeks.
“If you want a real reason to cry, I will give you one.” He screams in my face. I can barely process his words before he swings his fist down on me. The sickening sound of bone crunching fills the empty space. I scream out in pain as I clutch my cheek.
“Do you see what you made me do?” He bellows at me. “Do you think I want to hurt you? You made me do it. Why couldn’t you say yes to me?” He pleads.
Evan gets off me and sits next to my shaking body. He pulls me into his arms. My body stiffens with the contact, not knowing what will happen next. His hands slowly stroke my hair while he tries to calm me down. He whispers sweet words into my hair, false promises that he will never do it again to me, as he pleads me to forgive and love him.
I stay quiet, trying to will myself to calm down. When my body finally stops shaking, I push back from him and stare into his brown eyes. The same brown eyes I used to love looking into. The eyes that used to hold so much warmth for me. Now, they almost seem hollow. I know what I have to say. My heart breaks as I say the words.
“Yes, Evan, I will marry you.” I breathe out. I stare at the ring and shakily give him my left hand. He slips the ring on my third finger.
He mauls me with kisses. I beg my body to stay relaxed and not stiffen at his touch. I know I have to give him what he wants. I need to be the girl he desires. He looks down at me with pure excitement and joy on his face. I made him happy. Thank God.
I look back down at the ring. It is a beautiful ring but not my style. I would have preferred something simpler and more elegant. This ring screams Evan. It is over the top and shows how much money he has.
All the conversations we have had this week suddenly make sense. Evan starts rambling on about everything that will need to be done. Talking about an engagement party, the type of dress I should wear, the ceremony, and the bachelor party. His mind and mouth moving a mile a minute. Spilling out every detail of which he has already thought. I try to latch onto his train of thought but cannot keep up with him.
I inwardly sigh as I think about all this. This is asinine. We are still young. We have the rest of our lives still. I want to voice that, but I already know how he will react. Evan is so used to getting everything he wants when he wants it.
“I think we should wait to tell people. We can secretly start planning the wedding. Next summer, we can announce and have a beach wedding.” I say to him, hoping he will compromise on that. I see a flash of anger in his eyes, his posture tense.
“That sounds perfect.” He begrudgingly agrees. The words slip through his lips while trying to hide his anger. I flinch but manage to keep the smile on my face. At least this gives me some time to find a reason to postpone for a little while. I am not ready to be married.
“We should celebrate.” Evan claps his hands and looks around his room. He usually has a bottle of cheap booze somewhere.
I get up and walk over to his desk. I open the drawers until I find what I am looking for, an almost empty bottle of tequila tucked in the back behind a couple of boxes of cookies. I grab the bottle and close the drawer.
Evan quickly looks down at his phone and frowns while typing furiously. I stop and watch him. Whatever has his attention is making him mad. He sends what looks like a few more texts before looking back up at me. When he sees me looking at him, he quickly smiles back at me and puts his phone in his pocket. I cock my head to the side and wait for him to explain. He summons me back over to him.
I sit back down beside him and hand him the bottle. We take turns sipping the tequila, him more than I. He tells me more of what he envisions our wedding looking like. He wants it to be on the beach at sunset with the ocean as the background for the pictures. He wants me in a big, puffy princess dress, which is completely impractical for the beach. I tell him that, and he waves me off. Evan claims he knows what he wants and won’t change his mind.
I nod along. Agreeing with what he says but not paying attention. We spent an hour talking while he drinks what’s left in the bottle. I grab the empty bottle from him when he pushes it into my chest, and place it on the floor beside me. Evan turns to me and starts kissing my neck. He groans as he sucks on my neck leaving behind a small hickey. He starts mumbling incoherently against my neck. The smell of tequila on his breath wafts into my nose, making me cringe. I have nothing against drinking, but I am not a big fan of being drunk. Looking at Evan now is why. He is barely making sense and he is acting sloppy.
I can feel his body tense beside me when I don’t respond to whatever nonsense he is saying. I sigh and do something I don’t want to do. I have never been confident when it comes to seducing him, but this feels necessary. I take my shaky hand with the bright shiny engagement ring and place it down on his dick and start rubbing through his pants. He moves his lips from my neck and moans.
“No flower, not yet. I like the thought of our first time being our wedding night. My perfect virgin bride.” His slurs most of his words, but there is still so much determination in them.
I never understood why he wouldn’t have sex with me. I know that he and Cleo had sex as often as they could. I had the unfortunate pleasure of listening to her brag about how spectacular of a lover he was. She could spend hours talking about their many adventures in the sack. Whenever I tried, he would make up excuses. Every time he rejected me, I would feel worse about myself. I would always think it was how I looked or how I acted. Another reason I have always tried to be exactly what he wants.
“There is something you could do for me, flower,” Evan whispers. He looks at my lips and down at his junk. I have never done anything before.
Evan looks deep into my eyes as I bit my bottom lip, extremely nervous. I slowly slid my hand over his jean-covered dick and rubbed. I could feel him slowly hardening against my touch. My confidence started to soar, knowing I was making him do that. I undo his button and zipper, before shimmying his pants down, leaving him in his navy blue boxers.
I have never seen a penis before except for porn, but I don’t watch a lot of that.
I pull out his semi-hard dick and start slowly stroking. I am so scared, but making him happy with this is better than him hitting me again. That has always been my life with him, making sure he is happy. Always doing everything for him and never getting anything in return.
I have nothing to compare him to, but he is about average size. I start to stroke him a little faster, tightening my grip a bit. I look at him from the corner of my eyes. He is watching what I am doing, mesmerized by it. Emboldened by his look, I lean over and lick the tip of my tongue against the tip of his dick. My cheek screams at me in protest, but I endure the pain. A small groan leaves his lips. He liked that. I lick the tip again before slowly lowering my lips over the head of his dick, sucking him a little. Another groan, a little louder this time.
I reposition myself on my knees in front of him. I pull his boxers off while he takes his shirt off. He may not have the most muscle or be extremely tall, but he is dashing in his own way. I smile at him before taking as much of his length in my mouth.
Ignoring the pain, I take him to the back of my throat, slightly gagging around him. He moans as I move up and down, attempting to take all of him each time. I have never done this before, but I can see why people enjoy it. The power I feel right now is intense- knowing I am giving him this pleasure is intoxicating. I look up at Evan and notice him scowling at his phone.
He furiously types something on his phone, his erection slowly shrinking with each letter he types. I continue sucking, trying to get him hard again. I want to make him feel good, but he is so focused on something that I don’t think he notices me here anymore.
“Is everything all right?” I cautiously ask.
He doesn’t say anything for a minute. I keep stroking him, hoping to get him back in the mood. Why I am hoping he is in the mood, I don’t know. This is better than the alternative.
He looks down at his soft penis and looks back at me. His glare is full of fury and makes me wince. He is mad.
“Well, if you can’t get it hard, maybe you should just go home.” He irritably replies.
I want to protest, but I know better. What Evan says goes. There is no point arguing with him, especially with what he did earlier. He grips my chin and harshly pulls me up so I am looking at him. He stares into my eyes and smiles down at me. Knowing I won’t fight him anymore. He pushes me back. I fall on my ass and stare at him with tears forming in my eyes. I rapidly dry my eyes and get up off the floor. I grab my things, kiss Evan on the lips- that he does not reciprocate- and walk out of his dorm room.
At least I borrowed my mom’s car. I did not want to wait for an Uber or possibly see Cleo again. I look around my purse for my keys before I unlock the doors and get in.
The drive home is not long. Mom is not home yet from her meeting. I let myself in and go to bed. I do not want to take a chance of her seeing the ring yet- or the bruise I probably have on my face.
She would never understand why I accepted his proposal, especially with the way I look right now. But isn’t that why I accepted in the first place? To stop him from doing something worse. She would say I was crazy for accepting his proposal. She would say we are too young, and I have my whole life ahead of me. I shouldn’t be tied down to anyone, especially someone who would lay their hands on me.. Maybe she would be right.
I place the ring in my jewelry box before hopping in a hot shower and getting ready for bed. At least I will get to see him one more time tomorrow morning before I leave. I close my eyes and drift off to a dreamless sleep.
I stare at my phone while Mom loads the last of our stuff in the back of her car. The moving van has already taken off across the country. I have no idea where she found a company willing to drive from Florida to California and then back again. She must be paying a fortune for it.
I don’t bother responding, instead putting my phone in my back pocket. I pick up the last box from my room. I check my face in the mirror one last time, making sure the makeup is still hiding the nasty bruise on my face. I iced my face in the middle of the night, hoping the swelling would go down. Thankfully, it did enough.
Outside, my mom grabs the box from my hands and places it in the trunk before closing it. She wraps her arms around my shoulders. I lean my head on her shoulder, as we both stare at the house where I have spent all my life. I grew up here. Most major milestone happened in that house.
Now is the time for a new family to make their memories here.
Mom sighs and taps my shoulder before turning around and heading into the car. I take one last good look before I join her. We start to drive away, and a lone tear falls from my eye. Change is never easy, but maybe this will be good. A change for the better.
Or the worst.
Goodbye, sunny Florida. Hello, Fallingbrook.