71 EVIE
E VIE
On the day they fell from the sky, I was startled awake from the most beautiful dream, the sun already high.
I heard the sound of the kids and Steve downstairs and would’ve been annoyed that he’d let himself in again, but I was in a hazy state, longing to return to the dream, pulling the covers over my head, willing the details back.
Images of Carter meeting Lainey. A shy handshake between a wide-eyed music man and the curious little girl who looked just like him.
Of the future we were imagining together, Lainey and me watching from the side of the stage in a haze of purple light.
The music that brought us together. And the feel of his kiss.
I like thinking that maybe he had been dreaming the same thing that night—we used to do that a lot.
It felt glorious, waking up that day, thinking of Carter back in our world, knowing that we had so much to look forward to. I was on the verge of starting a brand-new life, and despite the complicated waters that lay ahead, I glowed with the possibility of my future with him.
When I turned on my phone, there was a voice mail from him.
Hey, love. So we’re off to Rio soon; hopefully you’re sleeping peacefully and you’ll probably get this in the morning.
We’ll be there for two nights, then Costa Rica, and then I’m home for good.
Ev ... I feel like the luckiest man in the world right now.
I’ve got you back in my life, and now this whole new person exists in my world.
A part of us. You and me. And I cannot wait to meet her.
I know we’ve missed out on a lot of time.
But hey, time isn’t real, anyway, right?
I love you more than anything, Ev. Sweet dreams. I’ll see you soon.
I leaned back into my pillow, groggy and jet-lagged and still smiling. I splashed some water on my face and made my way downstairs, excited to see the kids. The coffeepot was already full, and Steve was in the living room, holding the TV remote.
“Sorry,” he said quickly. “I hope you don’t mind I let myself in. We just got here. I rang the doorbell, but—”
“I know. It’s still broken. It’s okay.”
“I still have the key. We knocked, but—”
“Really, it’s okay, Steve.” At the sight of the concerned expression on his face, I added, “I promise. It’s not a big deal. Thank you for bringing them over early.”
He turned around and looked back into the living room nervously. “Evie ...” The kids came bounding up, tackling me, and I greeted them with warm hugs.
“Ahh, my beautiful babies! I missed you!” I squealed, drinking in the sight of them. I could swear they’d grown up a teeny bit more since I’d last seen them.
“Mom, look at my leaves! Grandma took us for walks through the woods to collect them!” Lainey proudly presented a bag of her treasures, then looked more carefully at them. “Well, they looked a lot prettier before. But aren’t they pretty!”
“Look, I got a boo-boo.” Lucas pointed to a minuscule mosquito bite on his knee, proudly accented with a half-removed Spider-Man Band-Aid.
They both were clamoring for my attention, making my heart swell.
“Ooh, I love them, sweetie! I think this is my favorite.” I pointed to one of Lainey’s treasures.
“Really? That one’s my favorite too!”
“And let me see this.” I kissed Lucas’s knee and replaced the Band-Aid. “All better now. I missed you guys!”
“Evie, I think you should—” Steve tried to interject.
“Missed you, too, Mom!” Lainey exclaimed.
“Hey, guys, do you mind going upstairs for a bit? I need to talk to your mom.”
“Ugh,” Lucas complained. “Fine.” I watched them disappear around the corner and looked forward to catching up with them later.
After putting a slice of bread into the toaster, I poured my coffee and noticed Steve standing halfway into the living room, strangely nervous as he glanced again toward the television.
“Your trip. Did it go well?” he asked through a shaky voice.
“It did. Thank you for asking. Really well, actually,” I added gently. “We can talk about it later, though.” He hesitated, fidgeting slightly. “Everything okay?” I asked. “You don’t have to stay. I’m good,” I said, mildly confused by his odd behavior.
He came toward me. Rested a hand on my arm. “I think you should sit down.”
“What’s going on? You’re starting to worry me.”
Just then, I heard something odd on the television. “What are you watching?” I asked. But it was as if my brain had already begun to register it, or maybe I had sensed it immediately when I’d awakened minutes earlier, and the hairs on the back of my neck raised.
The kids ran back into the kitchen, and Steve gathered them close.
“Hey, guys, I need you to go outside and play for a few minutes.” He scuttled them through the back door, glancing toward me.
I took a few more steps toward the living room while he struggled to get Lucas’s shoes unknotted and tied. “Ev, hang on. Wait.”
My blood ran cold, and I stopped breathing.
Where it had been a low din from another room, my ears zeroed in on the voice coming from the television. “... the band.” “... bad weather.” “... over the Venezuelan border.”
South America? My stomach lurched.
“... the band was fresh off their North American tour and finishing up with several dates in ...”
My mind was processing the information in parts, unwilling to acknowledge what it was beginning to receive, but as it did, a chill took over me, and my skin prickled. Please. I forced a deep, jagged breath as I concentrated on my desperate plea.
Please.
The carpet under my bare feet turned to razors as I continued walking closer toward the television with unsteady steps. Slowly, one inch at a time.
“Evie,” Steve called.
As the screen came fully into view, I saw the remains of a small, crumpled white jet.
And then photographs, one by one. Alex. Tommy.
No survivors. I felt the bile rising in my throat and swallowed, my senses disorganized, each one in the wrong place.
The photos continued. The pilot and the copilot. Still searching. No survivors.
“No,” I whispered.
Steve was at my side.
“No,” I said again to the universe.
And then, the final words from the screen:
“... and Carter Wills.”
“No.”
I remember the coffee pouring from my mug as it fell to the floor that morning.
“Traveling with them, Michael Fleming, a journalist ... interview to celebrate the anniversary of the release of the band’s breakthrough album ...”
Steve’s voice sounded like it was in a distant tunnel as he called to me again, and the next thing I knew, I was on the sofa.
The front door slammed. Kate was there. She was still wearing her pajamas as she came to my side.
I strained to see the screen as Steve paced in front of it. Kate knelt in front of me.
I looked above her shoulder, and my eyes widened at the horror on the screen behind her.
Red lines marked the plane’s trajectory from Los Angeles to Venezuela.
They kept showing images of the burned wreckage from various points of view, each one worse than the last. I was gasping again.
Photos and videos of Carter performing were flashing across the screen, one after the other.
Kate glanced behind her and took my head in her hands, willing me to look at her. “Steve, turn off the TV,” she ordered.
“No!” I yelled, gripping her arms. “I need to see it.”
“No, you don’t.”
I pushed her away.
“Steve, get the kids and take them to your place. They shouldn’t be here for this,” she said, before adding, “and neither should you.”
I looked at her, pleading, unwilling to believe what I was seeing. “Get me my phone. I need to call him. I need to talk to him.”
Her eyes welled. “Shh. You’re going to be okay. It’s okay, sweetie. You’re going to be okay.” Kate held my hand, and a blanket was on me. I didn’t cry. I didn’t move. And everything went quiet.