17. Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Mazie
T he warmth from Zach’s kiss quickly fades as I think about the conversation that lies ahead. He’s right, my sisters are right. It’s just Eli. Nothing bad is going to happen. But I can’t help stressing. It’s in my nature.
Every time the bell chimes, my head snaps up from looking down at my feet where I stand behind the counter.
The first time it was a customer that Liv promptly and cheerily helped. The second time it was Jameson and Jordanna. She’s gotten so big; I feel like I’ve been a neglectful aunt. While it’s only been a couple of weeks since I visited with her, a lot changed in those few days.
Jameson puts her down the second they’re through the door and Liv rounds the counter. The smiles that span all of their faces are infectious. Jordanna puts her chubby little arms out, saying “Mama” as she toddles toward Liv, who’s squatting on the floor.
“There’s my sweet girl.” Liv scoops her happy little toddler into her arms and kisses all over her face.
“She’s been asking for mama since you left this morning.” Jameson plants his hands on his hips and looks at Jordanna with endearment, mixed with a little bit of frustration.
“You want to go see Auntie Mazie?” Liv turns toward me and tilts Jordanna in my direction, but she throws her arms around Liv’s neck.
“No. Mama.”
“How about Auntie Lina?” Alina takes a step forward with a giant smile on her face and arms outstretched.
“No. Mama.”
“Don’t be too upset about it, ladies. She’s just in a mama-centric mood. Watch. Jordanna, want to come see Dada?” Jameson stretches his arms wide, smiles, and nods at his daughter.
Who turns away from him and buries into Liv’s shoulder. “No. Mama.”
Jameson sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. Time for another one.”
“Jameson!” Liv practically shrieks.
“What? I need at least one who loves me.”
“Oh my God, you’re being so dramatic. Jordanna loves you.” She pulls the little girl from her chest and tickles her belly. “Right? You love Dada.”
Jordanna’s tiny giggles fill the café, and we all smile.
“She just loves Mama more.” Liv sticks her tongue out at Jameson, who rolls his eyes, and runs a hand down his face.
The whole exchange has me feeling lighter. Until the door chimes and Eli waltzes through.
Everybody turns to the door, and Jordanna shows where her true love lies as she reaches for my brother. “LiLi! LiLi!”
“Well, there’s my favorite girl in the whole world!” Eli scoops her into his arms, and she snuggles into his shoulder. It’s his uncanny ability to blend in with everybody. I sometimes wonder if there’s anybody in the world who wouldn’t love Eli.
My stomach drops when his eyes lock on mine.
But he smiles warmly and shoots me a wink. He probably knows I’m overthinking, because that’s just how he is.
Jordanna leans back and hits Eli in the face with her tiny hands. “Mama, Mama.”
“You know, I do kind of look like your mama.” While our features are all different, put any one of us next to another and you can see a strong resemblance. Liv’s hair has the pink, mine has a bit more of a reddish hue to it, but all four of us have shades of brown, just like Mom did. The curls come from Dad, as do the variations in blue eye color.
“Mama, Mama.” She keeps hitting Eli in the face, who takes it in stride and smiles despite what’s surely tiny wet hands.
“Oh, you want to go to Mama?”
“Yeth.” She gives a tiny nod but doesn’t take her eyes from Eli.
“Okay then. Should we fly?”
She bounces in Eli’s hold and her tiny hands hit against his chest. “Fy! Fy!”
He tips her forward, supporting her under her chest and legs as he flies her around the café before bringing her to Liv, whose smile makes my heart warm. She’s an amazing mother. The thought brings tears to my eyes, because I know how much Mom and Dad would love to see this. To see their baby being a parent, and such a good one.
“Coffee?” Liv looks up at Eli as she holds Jordanna’s back against her chest.
“Yeah. Please. And a muffin.”
“What kind?”
“Surprise me.” While the rest of us have favorites, Eli really doesn’t. Or if he has one, he’s never let any of us know. He’s like that with so many things.
He and I may be the closest in the sibling group, but there are still so many things he keeps from me. Sometimes I feel like I know my brother so well. Other times, he feels like a complete mystery to me.
With a smirk on his face, he walks over and throws his arm over my shoulder as he guides me toward a table. “So. You’re finally dating my best friend?”
I glance up at him with an eyebrow raised. “Sorry, but he’s my best friend.”
He lifts a shoulder and pulls out a chair for me. “Eh. He was mine first.”
“Would you like him back?”
“Nah.” He waves a hand through the air. “He’s all yours.”
I open my mouth to ask a question—what, I’m not really sure—when Liv comes over with Eli’s coffee and a mixed berry muffin. I know they’re her favorite.
He smiles up at her before grabbing a big piece and shoveling it in his mouth. “Thanks, babiest sis.”
Liv pats him on the shoulder as she walks away, leaving us in silence once again.
But this time, instead of trying to say something, I chew the inside of my cheek. For some reason, it’s like I’ve forgotten how to have a conversation with my brother.
“Hey.”
My gaze darts over to his.
Eli shakes his head with his brows drawn together. “What gives? Why are you being weird?”
“I just…I don’t know. Are you, like, mad that I’m dating Zach?”
“Why in the world would I be mad? We’ve all thought it was going to take some sort of life-altering event to make you realize that there was something between you two.”
“I don’t know. Isn’t it against some sort of like rules or something to date your brother’s friend? Or your friend’s sister?”
He waves a hand through the air again as he takes a sip of his coffee. “When have I ever cared about so-called rules? Besides, when it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. And you and Zach have been circling each other, completely blind to the attraction you two had for far too long. Any objections I could have had are long since passed.”
My cheeks heat. “You think we’re meant to be?”
Eli pauses mid-bite and looks up at me through his lashes. “Do you not?”
I start picking at my nails. “I’m not sure. It’s only been a week. It feels too soon to make such a distinction.”
“Maybe it’s been a week of officially dating, but let’s be real. There’s been so much between you two for years that you don’t need those early parts of the relationship to get to know each other. You already do. You have the foundation most have to build first. Besides, Mom and Dad got married after only knowing each other for six months.” That’s one change in Eli, and with some help, now me. We can both say "Mom" and "Dad" with ease, where it’s still a bit of a struggle for Alina and Liv.
“I forgot about that.” While my parents may not have known each other long, they were madly in love. All the way up to their death. They showed us what a solid relationship and partnership looked like.
They never shied away from being affectionate around us. Dad always held Mom’s hand in the car and any time they weren’t each holding one of ours when we were out somewhere. Sometimes when a certain song played on the radio or in a movie we were watching, Dad would take Mom in his arms and dance around the living room. They complimented each other. They were always a team, a united front.
“You and Zach certainly know each other more than the vast majority of people who start a relationship together. I mean, shit, the last girl I was in a relationship with…well…let’s just leave it at you and Zach would have found the others crazy by now.”
My eyes narrow. “Oh yeah. Speaking of. What’s up with the sociology professor in your office the other day?” I cock my head to the side as I take him in.
He flops back in his chair and rolls his eyes. “Zach told you? Sheesh, maybe I don’t want you two dating.” His fingers pick at his muffin. That only makes me more concerned.
“What’s going on, Eli?”
“Nothing. Can’t a guy have a little fun? All his little sisters are getting married and—”
“I’m not getting married.”
“Yet.” Our eyes lock, and I see how serious he is. He really thinks this is going all the way. It’s a thought I haven’t allowed myself to have yet. While I typically don’t want to waste time in a relationship that I see going nowhere, it’s hard to see such an end game so soon. Plus, Zach’s different.
Eli’s right, we have the history, the foundation. Marriage just seems…fast.
“Either way. I was just having some fun. Consenting adults and all that. Besides, how else am I going to find somebody to be with?”
“Do you always lead with sex?” I raise an eyebrow, knowing he not only doesn’t operate that way, but that it’s far outside of the realm of how we were raised. Sometimes, I think Eli’s still going through his rebellious stage, just a little later in life and rebelling against ghosts.
“When it’s convenient. Which in this case, it was.” He sighs heavily and his shoulders droop. “Listen, I don’t need your concern. Or Zach’s. I’m fine. Just been in a bit of a dry spell and having some feelings about being the oldest, yet last Baker to find somebody.” His eyebrows crunch together, and he picks at his cup.
Most people don’t know this, and Liv and Alina were too young to remember. But as much as I’d play with my dolls and pretend to be a mom, Eli would do the same but pretend to be a dad. I know one of his goals in life is to emulate Dad, to be the partner he was and the father he was. But I didn’t know he was worried about not having that.
“Eli, I—”
He flicks his watch out and quickly stands, nearly knocking his chair over. “Shit. I gotta go. I’m just barely going to make it to class on time. Doesn’t look good when the professor is late.”
Before I’ve even had a chance to get up, he’s rounded the table and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I love you. I’m happy for you and Zach. Stop worrying about me.”
“I love you too. But it’s kind of what I do. About as easily as I breathe.”
He rolls his eyes and ruffles my hair, just like he did when we were kids. “I’m perfectly fine, Mae.”
“If you say so. Don’t be a stranger. Been a while since we’ve seen you.”
“I was just at Liv’s a few days ago. But I’m wrapping up class for the summer, then I’ll be in your hair for a few weeks before summer classes start.” His hands are up on either side as he backs through the café. He gives Liv and Alina a quick hug each, a small kiss to Jordanna, and he and Jameson do that weird man-hug thing I’ve never understood.
Then he’s gone, and the café feels smaller, duller. Eli brings that brightness and fullness with him everywhere he goes.
He was destined for so much more. His students truly have no idea how lucky they are to have him.