31. Epilogue
Epilogue
Mazie
P art of me feels guilty about having a big wedding since my sisters both went small. But both they and Zach have all assured me that it’s not a problem. Liv and Alina both say they chose to go small and they support my decision. Zach just wants to see me happy.
Though, part of the reason we went bigger is so he could invite the Juniper Grove police force and Three Sticks staff.
It’s not a huge wedding, and the actual ceremony was at Town Hall. But we wanted to truly celebrate, and part of that is because a year ago we learned just how fragile life can be.
While neither one of us wanted to wait too long, I didn’t want to get married in the winter. Some part of me has always dreamed of a late-summer wedding. So that’s what we did.
Only my siblings were at Town Hall with us, bearing witness to our union. But now we’re at Waterfront, the only restaurant in town that has a space large enough to host a wedding. Not to mention, a dance floor.
Having the year to plan was worth it. While we probably could have thrown everything together quickly, it was nice to be able to take our time and evaluate what we wanted and find the right company.
Plus, it gave us all time to heal. Eli still hasn't been the same, and more distant than he ever has been. Sometimes it feels like he’s pulling away. From me, from us, from the family. But he always comes back and lets us know he’s here, just still trying to figure out his place.
The shooting affected him more than any of us could have anticipated, and at the suggestion of his therapist, he took a sabbatical year from teaching. The idea was for him to find himself again, to recenter and refocus. But as far as I can tell, he's just spent a lot of time alone. Or possibly with women, I’m not entirely sure.
His therapist suggested some travel too. Possibly going back to visit Cambridge and MIT. But he wasn’t willing to leave the area.
He saw his own mortality, realized how much he hasn’t experienced yet. And it messed with him. The biggest problem with that is that he won’t let any of us help him.
We all try, we hover. But the more we push ourselves on him, the more he pulls away. It’s a very fine line and delicate balance.
I watch from the edge of the dance floor, champagne in hand, while Alina waddles over and sits next to him. She’s eight months pregnant and has been a great sport so far today. While I told her she could pick a different dress, wear something she’d be comfortable in, she insisted on wearing the Matron of Honor dress that I fell in love with. She and Liv are wearing the same thing, being co-matrons, and they both look beautiful.
My hairs stand on end when I feel a presence next to me.
Zach looks amazing in his tux. He fills it out so perfectly; I can’t wait to go home and tear it off him.
“Glad to see Alina’s finally sitting down.”
A smile pulls up my lips. He’s become even more protective of my sisters now that he’s “officially their brother,” as he likes to say. Though the protectiveness jumped the night he re-proposed.
He doesn’t really like that I call it that, wanting it to replace the initial proposal since it was sudden, unplanned, and he had no ring. But it’s part of our story, and I love both times equally.
“Hopefully, she’ll have some water too.” With my lips pressed together, I look around for Cam. Finally, my gaze lands on him as he weaves through the people, a pair of slippers in one hand and a glass of water in the other. I jut my chin in his direction. “Looks like Cam’s on top of it.”
“He’s really turned out to be a good partner for her. I was skeptical, I’ll be honest.”
I smack the back of my hand against his chest. “You didn’t give him enough of a chance.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “I seem to remember you doing your fair share of that with your other sister.”
“And I learned my lesson.”
“So when Eli finally finds somebody, you’ll welcome her with open arms?”
I wave my hand as I turn back to the dance floor, my attention landing on Liv, Jameson, and Jordanna as they hold hands and sway to the music. “Of course not. No girl will ever be good enough for my brother.”
He sighs next to me and laughs lightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me against his side as he kisses the top of my head.
His fingers trail down my bicep and graze my breast, causing me to look up at him with raised eyebrows.
Even a year later, one thing he likes to continually mention is how terrible it was to only have the use of one hand at a time. And right now, I know he’s thinking that during that time, he wouldn’t be able to have an arm around me and be holding a drink in the other.
His chest puffs out with a deep breath, and he pushes up to his toes.
My chin drops slightly as I cant my head to the side, mentally preparing for whatever he’s about to tell me.
“I threw your birth control away this morning.”
With wide eyes, I take a slight step to the side so I’m standing more in front of him than next to him. “I’m sorry, you did what now?”
“Tossed it right in the trash.”
“And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, consult me? See about when I want to start a family?”
His gaze lowers, and his eyes bore into mine. “If I have my way, you’ll be pregnant by the end of the honeymoon.”
Heat rushes my cheeks and it’s suddenly extremely warm in this wonderfully air-conditioned event hall.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me into his chest. “Why wait? Why delay starting the family we both know that we want? It took us long enough to realize our feelings for each other, so why put off anything else?”
I rest my cheek against his chest. “You could have talked to me about it first.” Truthfully, I’m giving him a hard time, because I’m completely packed for our honeymoon, and didn’t put my birth control in my luggage. While I wasn’t exactly going to spring it on him like he did me, I was going to mention at the resort that I forgot it at home to see how he felt about it.
But that’s a pivotal difference between us. I’m a thinker, and he’s a doer. Over the past year and a half of our relationship, we’ve brought out the other side in one another much more than we ever did while being just friends.
Before, I would have fixated on the birth control, the discussion, the repercussions of stopping it. Now, I had made the decision alone and planned to feel him out before going for it.
With my fingers linked around his waist, I lean back. “You sure you don’t want to, I don’t know, enjoy married life a little first?”
“Very sure. We’re not exactly travelers, M. What are we going to do? Sit around the house and just be husband and wife? No, I’d rather start our family.”
Two years ago, the idea would have made me hyperventilate. One year ago, it would have sent me into a downward spiral of fear. But now, I’m all in. To an outside observer, it would all seem so sudden. A few months of dating before getting engaged, a year of engagement before tying the knot, and then getting pregnant as soon as possible.
What they don’t know, didn’t get to see, is all the years of buildup, of denial, of circling each other. The foundation was poured long before the frame started to go up.
And while I was hesitant at first, I can see that everything is happening exactly the way it’s supposed to.