16. Chapter 16
Mazorium
“Maz?”
I looked up from the bot platform I was working on to see Mika approaching. She had a steaming bowl in one hand and a plate of flatbread in the other. I quickly dropped the tools in my hands and rushed to take the burdens from her. What if she’d tripped and fallen? She might’ve burned herself.
“You shouldn’t be out here,” I admonished, even as I started purring.
“I was worried about you,” she said, drawing back. I hated that she did that, but it was entirely my own fault. I was so tempted to do things to her that I couldn’t trust myself with even a simple touch. She’d noticed and was now pulling away from me before I could pull further away from her.
My eyes locked on the collar around her throat. I’d come to hate that thing. It represented everything wrong with my world view before my eyes were forcefully opened on Helsin Station.
Mika wasn’t from a low-intelligence species, and that meant I was keeping a slave, not a pet. It was unconscionable.
And yet I didn’t take it off. The reason was simple: I was terrified. In the short time we’d been together I’d become reliant on having Mika in my life. It was selfish and dishonorable, but the thought of Mika leaving me caused a panic response.
I’d been spending much of my time coming up with offers that might entice Mika to stay after I took the collar off.
I created list after list of things I could buy her.
I outlined arguments in my head about all the advantages I could provide, including safety from exploitation by unscrupulous bosses.
I knew the best arguments should revolve around Nadia. If the two of them stayed, then the little girl would never know a day of hardship in her life.
It was a point I didn’t want to bring up. I knew Mika would sacrifice for her child. But I didn’t want her to stay with me out of a sense of obligation instead of her own inclination.
But what if I released Mika and she left me? Both of them could die, and it would be my fault because I didn’t use all my talking points to persuade her.
These were the thoughts that swirled through my head rotation after rotation with no right answer in sight.
“Uh, Maz, you just cracked the plate,” Mika said, pulling me out of my circling thoughts. I looked down to see I was only holding half a plate. The other half was on the ground along with the flatbread.
She bent down to pick the items up, but I was quick to sound a negative rattle. “Leave that. I’ll throw it all in the reconsitutor later.”
Stiffening, she straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest. I could tell she was upset.
“I’m sorry I ruined the meal you brought to me,” I said quickly, setting the bowl down on a nearby stack of flight-bots. “It was thoughtful of you.”
“What is going on?” she asked. I could tell by her tone she meant my strange actions, but I pretended to misunderstand.
“I’m finishing up the landing platform for the flight bots. After I’m done, they’ll be able to recharge all together instead of having to take turns on the ship’s ports.”
She stared at me in silence for a few micro-marks before replying.
“That’ll be helpful for your work.”
I hated the polite non-interest in her voice. My distance was killing all the curiosity and joy in her. She’d been full of questions the first two rotations we’d been here, but now she rarely bothered coming near me. In the last ten rotations we’d barely had any conversations.
My lack of action was ruining everything. We needed to have an honest and open conversation, even though it would be painful.
I let out a long breath, working on how to start.
“I know you’re not…you’re probably…we should….” I stopped talking when I realized all that was coming out of my mouth were jumbled words that made no sense.
At least she didn’t look frustrated any longer. Now she looked confused and worried.
“You're not making any sense. Does your head hurt? Is your vision fuzzy?”
Her concern was endearing. “I’m not feeling badly, but there’s something important I need to say. I don’t know how to begin.”
Her tentative smile made some of my fear lessen.
“Can you stop working for a while? We could sit in the area you set up next to the ship and have some tea.”
Her words made me sound an immediate rumble of agreement. “You go sit; I’ll get the tea.”
She nodded, and I sprinted off into the ship to prepare the tea. I felt both intensely excited and scared now that we were going to discuss our situation. Even if this didn’t go well, at least I’d have a resolution.
Once the tea was done, I hurried out of the ship and around to the area I’d enclosed with a fence for Mika and Nadia.
I’d covered most of the ground with interlocking soft mats usually used to shield delicate instruments from vibrating ships.
It made a nice, soft, but still walkable flooring for my humans.
I’d also brought one of the shell chairs out, as well as a low Leemron couch. She’d taken a seat on the couch, and when I approached she pointed to the spot next to her. I wanted to sit there but was worried if I was too close I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to touch her.
I handed her a cup then sank down to sit on the ground in front of her. The couch was so low that she wasn’t sitting that much higher off the ground, but she still got to look down at me.
“What’s going on, Maz?” she asked, cupping her mug in both hands. “And don’t pretend like you don’t know what I mean.”
“I’ve had a revelation since the incident on Helsin Station,” I said. “I’ve been uncomfortable with what I’ve come to understand is the truth. That’s why I haven’t been acting as before.”
She nodded. “I know you're scared to trust anyone now, but it’s okay. I’m good at reading situations and intentions.
We could come up with some code words so I could tell you if I think we need to be cautious or leave.
” She set her mug down on a box usually used to transport burrowing bots.
I put it there to use as a small table. She was excited now and clapped her hands together.
“Maybe gestures would be better, that way we could communicate even if we can’t hear each other,” she said. “I could touch my forehead if I think someone is lying. Or my chest if I think there’s danger. We could come up with all kinds of signals!”
I was tempted to let her continue with her misunderstanding because they were good ideas. But I knew if I didn’t talk now nothing would be resolved.
“Those are all excellent,” I said when she paused to take a breath. “But having my eyes opened to the danger within my empire isn’t what I’m talking about. There is a second revelation I've had that is more concerning to me.”
“Yeah?” She gave me an open and encouraging look. “What did you realize?”
“You’re intelligent. I don’t know about the rest of your species, but if I judged them by you, then I’d assume all humans are clever, intuitive, and incredibly adaptable.
You’ve been thrust into overwhelming or violent situations repeatedly, and yet you never once succumbed to helplessness.
You’re an astonishing individual, Mika.”
I wasn’t sure how she’d react to my confession, but I didn’t expect her to roll her eyes.
“It’s about time,” she said with a little laugh. “I don’t know where you guys got the idea that we’re a low-intelligence species, but it’s obviously wrong. Thanks for finally figuring it out.”
I sounded a rumble of agreement. “Knowing your capability means I face a dilemma.”
She picked up her mug and took a sip, as if she wasn’t concerned. “What’s that?”
“Slavery is considered both morally unconscionable and economically unviable,” I explained. “If you aren’t a low-intelligence species, then I don’t have a pet; I have a slave. Even if the rest of my empire thinks it's fine, I know it isn’t.”
I expected her to be retroactively angry at all my unintended slights regarding her intelligence and judgement. Instead she remained silent, regarding me with furrowed brows.
It was her thinking face. What was going through her mind to cause the expression?
While I waited for her response, I found I couldn’t keep my eyes from focusing on her collar. The smooth, curved surface reflected a distorted image of my face.
The perfect symbol of my earlier distorted thinking.
I couldn’t let it remain. Reaching up, I pressed my upper thumb to the hidden lock. It clicked open, and I pulled it off her. Anger at my old self made me snap it at the hinge and toss the pieces away.
When I finally met Mika’s gaze, I was startled to see her eyes were leaking water.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked, ready to jump up and carry her into the ship.
She sniffed and shook her head. “I’d forgotten I was wearing that.” She touched where it had rested around her neck. “I feel a little weird now that it’s gone.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I could buy her another one, but I didn’t want to. I hated the idea of her wearing anything that diminished her status, even symbolically.
She sniffed again and wiped the water droplets from her eyes. I had to clench my fists to keep from reaching for her.
“Are you going to get rid of us now?” she asked, her voice a low whisper. “Are you going to abandon us?”
“No!” I shouted so loudly she flinched. I sucked in a deep breath and started talking in a more reasonable tone.
“I want both of you to stay. I never want to be without you. My life was nothing before. I didn’t understand what joy truly felt like.
I’m willing to change anything if you would only stay. ”
“Ch-change everything?” she asked. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t change your status as a pet within the Talin Empire, but we could leave the empire. Are your dam and sire still alive?”
“My dam and sire…oh, you mean my parents. Yeah, they’re still alive. I think they're on Norip Station, but I’m not sure. They move around a lot with a team that replaces degraded radiation shielding. Why?”
“We could seek them out,” I said, getting excited at the prospect of reuniting Mika with her family. “We could all settle somewhere together. If we lived modestly, I could support us without ever having to return to the empire.”
“I’d like to see my parents again,” she said, a lone droplet sliding down her cheek at the same time she gave me a shaky smile. “But only for a visit. I don’t think I could live with them. I had some rough teenage years, and they love reminding me how much trouble I was. It gets annoying fast.”
“I’m sure you were a perfect child and they simply didn’t know how to handle someone as smart as you,” I said.
“If you agree to stay with me, we can seek them out after this assignment is over. I’m sorry, but can you wait until we’re done surveying this planet?
I’ve agreed to do this work. Unless you are set on seeing them sooner?
I could break the contract and refund the credits they’ve already paid me. ”
She leaned forward and put a hand on my cheek. “I can’t ask you to give up a job for us.”
Her touch sent a jolt of pleasure through me. “You could ask me to do anything, and I would.”
She must’ve heard the truth in my tone because her eyes widened slightly. “Even ruin your professional reputation?”
The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t care. Why bother working so hard to be principled when Talins like Gorum used bribes to get what they wanted?
“My reputation isn’t more important than your happiness,” I said. “If you want, we can pack everything up and leave tomorrow.”
“I don’t want that,” she said, rubbing her fingers over my scent gland.
“I like it here. It’s peaceful and the perfect place for Nadia to learn to crawl and walk.
I feel safe here. I’m sure it’ll get boring eventually and we’ll both want to interact with others, but right now this feels like the break I needed.
I started working alongside my parents at fourteen.
From that point on, I was always working. For now, I want to be lazy.”
“Do you really mean that?” I asked.
“I do,” she whispered. “I want to stay here with you.”
Relief made me feel strangely boneless. I let my head drop down until my forehead was resting on Mika’s lap. She shifted her hand to rub the back of my head.
“You won’t regret this,” I swore to her. I didn’t believe in the empire or ancestors any longer, but I believed in Mika and Nadia. They were my everything, and I would make sure they never felt the need to leave.
My scent glands ached as images of touching and being touched filled my mind.
The next thing I needed to do was research how human males courted their females. I wanted Mika to learn to see me as a potential partner to pair bond with. I would do all the things human males did to show interested in a permanent, intimate pairing with a female.