Epilogue
SUTTON
FOUR YEARS LATER
The plastic test in my hand is cold but electric. The potential it holds pulses, my heart thumping in rhythm. My wrist twitches, shaking like I’m in one of Elliot’s cycling classes. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying not to watch the timer on my phone count down.
Twenty…Nineteen…Eighteen…
The numbers trickle down slowly. I swear, as they decrease, the time between them increases, or maybe that’s my anticipation.
What is Cooper going to think? This was not part of our plan—well, it was always a dream, but not for another three to five years.
What about school? I have one year left of my PhD program, and a full-time contract with Team USA. Our wedding is in two months…
What about my dress?
A year ago, Cooper proposed. Twenty-five, and the summer after he won his first Stanley Cup. We were in our apartment. I came out of our bedroom in my favorite shirt of his. Ironically, the one I’m in right now. My hair was thrown into a lopsided bun balanced delicately on the crown of my head.
He was in the kitchen pulling out plates for the pizzas we ordered for dinner. His hands had a slight tremor to them.
“Are you okay?” I asked him, trekking through my memory to make sure he took his anxiety medicine this morning.
He clocked his hands. “Sore from my workout. My biceps are destroyed.” Cooper smiled. He’s just as handsome as he was in college, maybe even more. Aging like fine wine, I remember being excited for the days when he goes salt and pepper. “Top one is yours if you want to dig in. Want a Diet Coke?”
“Yes, please.” I slid into the chair at our waterfall counter. I had to stretch to reach the corner of the pizza boxes.
Cooper spun around, setting a fountain Diet Coke in front of me before pushing the boxes into reach. He stood on the opposite side of the counter, staring at me.
“What?” My eyes flicked around the room, then up as if I could see my hair. “Is it my hair? I blame you.”
“You’re beautiful,” he responded, the smile on his face unwavering.
I bite the side of my lip. Any compliment or praise has me gushing. My insides become playdough instantly.
Opening the lid, my mouth fell open, and I fell silent. On the cheese pizza, spelled out in M&Ms, was Will you marry me?
Cooper stole the idea from my favorite movie, The Princess Diaries, but I didn’t care. I loved every second of it and felt seen. The chocolate candies transporting me back to our fake date, which he finally told me that following Fall, he considered a real date.
My gaze kept moving from the pizza to Cooper. He moved quickly around the counter. Next to me, he spun my chair to face him and helped me stand up. Holding my hands, he got down on one knee and proposed.
Cooper stood and pulled a ring box out of his pocket. He must have slipped it in there while I was in the bathroom. He opened it, and again my jaw was on the ground.
My dream ring was there, reflecting the light from the pendants above the island.
Three…Two…One…
My timer goes off, dragging me out of one of my most beloved memories.
I open my eyes.
Two pink lines.
I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant.
This is not how I expected to start my bachelorette party.
Debatable.
My period is two weeks late, and for the past week, I have thrown up every morning. I thought it was our takeout from over the weekend—I told Cooper the chicken tasted funky.
There’s a knock on the door.
“Sutton, you in here?” It’s Elliot. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice cracks like a middle schooler hitting puberty.
Elliot tries the doorknob. “Wanna unlock the door?”
I unlock and open it for her before tugging her into the space and relocking the door. She stumbles. Balancing herself, Elliot spins to face me. If there’s anyone who’ll know what to do right now, it’s her. I found her in a bathroom crying over a pregnancy test spring of our senior year.
Her gaze falls to the plastic test in my hand, then up to my face. A hand covers her mouth. “Oh, Sutton. You’re pregnant.” Elliot drops her hand, throwing her arms around me in a hug. “These are happy tears, right?”
I don’t answer, too stunned to speak.
Are these happy tears?
I think so. Cooper and I are having a baby. I’m ecstatic to be a mom and see him become a dad. But that was years down the road…
Or are these sad tears?
Impossible.
My brain fights with itself.
“Both.” Elliot reads my mind.
I nod.
“How did Coop take it?” My eyes flare. “He doesn’t know?”
I shake my head no. “I picked up a test on the way here from the airport. I had a suspicion.”
“Do you have another?”
“This is the fourth one I’ve taken.” It’s then she spots the other tests on the bathroom counter.
“He’s going to be thrilled,” she reassures me. “Do you remember how he was when he found out about Juniper? Do you remember how he took care of me? That man will be over the moon and then put you in Bubble Wrap.”
That gets a quiet laugh out of me.
Worries wash away.
“I hope it’s a boy,” I admit quietly. “I hope it’s a boy and has Coop’s eyes. Maybe not his size…I don’t want to push out an NHL player’s baby.”
Elliot gives me a knowing smirk.
She helps clean up my running makeup from the happy tears—that’s what we determined them to be after Elliot talked me off the ledge of our wedding being ruined.
We exit the bathroom, joining the rest of my bachelorette party. We’re at the beach, and our relaxing bachelorette weekend has just become even more special.
Jordan walked over to me with a mimosa in her hand. Elliot quickly sweeps it from her, tossing it back in one drink. “Thanks, I was parched.”
“You’re welcome?” Jordan eyes Elliot.
I don’t want to tell everyone here, especially before even telling Cooper, but having another person who knows and can help make sure no one funnels me drinks or doesn’t question if I get sick, would be nice.
Elliot slips her arm out of mine, and I pull Jordan into the room where we are staying.
“I’m pregnant,” I tell her as soon as the door closes. “You can’t tell your brother. I just found out.”
She squeals, hugging me tightly. “Sorry.” Jordan drops her arms. “I shouldn’t squeeze the baby too tightly.” Her long brown hair, streaked with blue, hangs over one shoulder. “Oh my god, I’m going to be an aunt. When are you going to tell Cooper?”
“When we get back, I suppose.”
“Do you want to go back now?” She spins on her heels and heads to the closet where our suitcases are.
“No. We’re staying. It’ll give me the weekend to wrap my mind around this.”
“Okay…if you change your mind, I’ll book you on the first flight out of here!”
Mid-Monday, I get back to our apartment. I’m exhausted. I leave my suitcase in the entryway, fully anticipating Cooper to take care of it when he returns from his workout.
When my head hits my pillow, I’m out cold.
Two hours later, the bed dips, and I roll over. Instantly, I can smell the minty gum he’s always chewed.
“Hi, Dave.”
“Hi, Superstar.”
“My beautiful girl, sleepy still?” Sleepy is one way to describe this all-consuming exhaustion. I nod against the pillow, eyes fluttering open to find his nose brushing against mine. “I missed you this weekend.”
“I missed you, too.”
I scoot my head forward to kiss him. We’ve shared countless kisses, and I know we have an infinity to go, but I swear each one is enchanted. With each one, I fall even more in love with him.
“You sleep. I’ll make dinner, and then I want you to tell me about your weekend.”
We didn’t speak much over the weekend. Honestly, we aren’t big texters. Communicators, yes, but if you go through our messages, there are probably days without a message to each other—especially since he’s in the off-season. Cooper and I call each other if we need to talk.
This weekend, I sent him a few photos—a couple of beach bikini selfies, a few nudes at his request. That was the extent of our messages. If Jordan and Elliot sent him any, I don’t know about them.
“Thank you.” I move my mouth against his.
An hour later, I walk into the kitchen. It’s decked in the aroma of grilled salmon and veggies.
“Mmmm. Smells good,” I fib, gritting my teeth at a wave of nausea.
“You smell good.” Cooper buries his nose in the crook of my neck.
He places an open-mouth kiss on my sensitive skin before nipping at it.
I let out a whimper. His hands are on my waist, guiding me to the counter.
They slip under my thighs, picking me up and setting me on the counter near where he’s whipping up homemade protein mac and cheese.
Cooper is on the add protein to everything kick.
We have this dish at least three times a week during the off-season, but I don’t care.
I recount my bachelorette trip to him. His sister and Iris, one of our college friends, only danced on two tables, a new record low for them.
Elliot forgot to put sunscreen on one part of her thighs and has the weirdest burn.
Molly mothered us all. Meave surprised me on day two—she wasn’t going to be able to attend because of an art show, but she flew out right after.
Jake, Dawson’s now husband, came and made the best beach cocktails—at least that’s what I was told! My mocktail was great, though.
In the middle of my stories, Cooper plates dinner, and we move to the table to eat. He catches me up on his weekend. Chase was recently traded to his team, and they spent the weekend playing video games and touring apartments.
After dinner—the only thing I was able to touch was the pasta and a minor bite of salmon—we find ourselves back in a position that got us pregnant in the first place. Cooper’s naked body crawls over mine on the couch. He hovers over me, his elbows digging into the cushions next to me.
“You have new freckles.”
I giggle. “How can you tell?”
He gives me a cocky smirk. “Superpowers.” I roll my eyes at him, and his smirk grows.
“They’re one of my favorite parts of you, so I just know.
” He plants a kiss on my lips, then another.
Cooper starts trailing kisses down my jaw, to my neck, and then chest. Leaning on his right arm, he uses the left to trail a finger down my stomach.
It lingers there.
“Sooooooo.”
“So,” I parrot.
“When were you going to tell me you’re pregnant?”
My mouth falls open. Silently, I’m cursing Jordan and Elliot.
Cooper tugs something out from underneath the couch. It’s the toddler-sized jersey I custom ordered. Thirty-six printed on the back with DADDY in place of his last name. I didn’t expect expedited shipping to be this fast. Two days? With production, too?
“When did that come in?” A tear that I tried to blink away sneaks out.
“While you were asleep.”
“It’s for—”
He cuts me off not buying my bullshit. “Are we pregnant?”
“Yes,” I whisper, “we are.”
“Seriously?” I can’t tell if he’s excited or upset or—
“I found out at my bachelorette party.”
“That means you’re”—his eyes find the ceiling as he counts backward—“seven or eight weeks?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be good at math? I’m five, maybe six, weeks.” I take the jersey from his hands, run the tips of my fingers over the letters and numbers before placing it on the back of the couch. “Are you upset?”
“Upset?” He looks caught off guard by the question. “Why would I be upset?”
“This wasn’t part of our plan.” Another tear sneaks out and kiss wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.
“Having a family with you, Sutton, was always part of my plan.”
“I meant right now. With the wedding and grad school and the season.”
“And we’ll figure it out.” Elliot was right. I’m probably going to be wearing a custom Bubble Wrap outfit by the end of the week with the onslaught of questions he’s asking.
“I’m feeling okay. No morning sickness since last week…but the salmon…” I cringe, and Cooper lets out a guilty laugh. He was trying to get me to cave. “We need to schedule a doctor’s appointment.”
Cooper grabs his phone, leaving a voicemail with my OBGYN, then adding them to his favorites. I ask him to grab my phone and show him the video of me taking the first test.
He swipes quickly at a tear on each of his cheeks.
I press on a fresh one falling into my skin, wanting to commit this to memory forever.
When two more race down my cheek, he kisses them away.
Kisses me before gazing into my eyes with an intensity of love I didn’t think I’d ever have.
I found a version of it in Meave. Another when Mom and Dad adopted me. Again with our friends at Lakeland.
But the love I see in his brown eyes…it’s all could ever dream for or need.
“I love you, Dave, and I’m going to love this baby.” Cooper kisses me again, then kisses my stomach. Mouth moves against my skin as he tells our baby he loves them.
“I love you both with my whole heart.”
Our intertwined hands rub my stomach, and in this moment, I know my whole world is going to be me about them.