Somee #4
By the time they were done, they’d secured two pairs of sneakers.
Canvas ones with purple butterflies all over and a gray pair.
While Ryland spoke with the sales associate to get her size so she could try them on, Rylee occupied herself with the tic-tac-toe game painted on the floor in the kids’ section.
The X and Os were replaced by a K and T for the designer’s initials, which was super cute.
I was on my way to play with her when I noticed a little girl come over to join her. I smiled when she stopped at the game, saying something to Rylee that she couldn’t hear, of course.
When the girl reached down and snatched the K from Rylee’s hands, I was in motion again.
Rylee stood and her hands were moving, signing for the girl to give it back.
The girl frowned at her and shook her head, saying something I couldn’t make out because I couldn’t see her clearly from my angle.
Based on the tension in both of their bodies, I was about to shut this down, but the girl’s mother stepped up, speaking and motioning to Rylee.
After whatever she said, the little girl threw the letter at Rylee’s feet, stomped off, then things went left.
Ryland stepped up with his mouth moving, but I couldn’t catch what he said because he was speaking too quickly. He and the woman went back and forth until I stepped in front of him.
“Let it go.”
“The fuck you mean let it go? She’s not going to talk slick to Rylee and not get checked for it.”
“You checking her like this makes Rylee think she’s done something wrong or that there is something wrong with her if you have to step in to defend her. Even if she doesn’t know why you’re reacting, she knows what you’re defending.”
His jaw locked tightly and he glared at me for a minute before he glanced at Rylee, watching us with a pout, clearly upset. She walked over to the bench and sat, dropping her head.
Ryland glared at the woman before speaking and signing, “Teach your kid some fucking manners and you need to learn some too.”
He turned and walked over to Rylee, kneeling in front of her. He signed something I missed then tipped her chin so he could see her face. After a minute, she smiled and nodded.
When Ryland was standing again, the sales associate approached and the two of them had a brief exchange before she walked off and returned a few minutes later with two boxes of shoes.
She stopped and said something else to Ryland before the two of them walked to the counter to pay, carrying the shoes along with the bookbag Rylee wanted.
I walked over and sat next to Rylee.
“You okay?”
She nodded and signed, “Can we go home?”
“Back to your brother's house?”
She nodded again and I felt relieved that she hadn’t meant home as in my house. Whether I liked it or not, this was home and Rylee had to get used to accepting that it was. “Yes, we can go home.”
After the purchases were paid for, I let Ryland know she was ready to leave. He didn’t want to let one bad experience disrupt our day but gave in and we left the mall, heading back to the house.
On the way, he stopped at a rolled ice cream place and we got an order to-go, which made me so fucking happy, because once again, he was doing the work. He remembered me telling him how I took her to a rolled ice cream shop by my house because it was one of her favorite things.
Rylee was over the confrontation at the mall by the time we finished our ice cream at the house and asked to play in her room, leaving me with Ryland. I was grateful because I needed to explain to him why I was being so adamant about not allowing the situation at the store to escalate.
“You sure she’s okay?” he asked, his body stiff and expression tight.
“She’s fine. It’s not the first and won’t be the last.”
“I can’t believe that people are really that ignorant.”
“I can,” I responded and shrugged. “What did she say?”
He frowned and hesitated before his hands started moving.
“She told her daughter to give Rylee the K because she was Deaf and didn’t understand.
She also expressed that she had to be nice to people ‘like that’ because they don’t know any better.
Her ignorant ass didn’t know any better, saying stupid shit like that. ”
He was pissed, and after hearing what was said, so was I. But I also needed him to understand why his reactions mattered when Rylee was around.
“People are cruel and ignorant. They don’t understand simply because they choose not to.
Today was the first of many. Rylee will have to learn to defend herself and not allow others’ ignorance to affect how she feels about who she is.
If you fight her battles, it makes her rely on you always doing so.
It could also make her feel as if you had to defend her because she’s incapable or that being Deaf is something she needs to explain or safeguard.
It’s not. Being Deaf is not an infirmity or impairment.
Rylee is beautiful, smart, and very capable.
She simply speaks another language. If people choose not to understand our world, that’s on them.
It’s not our responsibility to defend who we are.
The best we can do is educate people when they’re willing to learn. ”
“Fuck. I didn’t think about that.”
“You wouldn’t. You’re hearing,” I signed. “But you love her and want to right the wrongs in her world. That’s a good thing. Sometimes you will be her hero and sometimes she will have to be her own.”
He brushed a hand over his head. “I know I keep saying this but you know you’re never leaving, right?”
I grinned. “This is new and a lot. Eventually you’ll have it all figured out and you won’t need me.”
A call interrupted the moment, which I realized when Ryland dug the device from his pocket and turned to me so I could read his lips when he said he had to take it.
I nodded and decided to clean up our empty ice cream containers and find something other than Ryland to occupy my time.
Being with him was getting dangerously problematic for my heart.