Chapter 2 #2
“I know.” I exhaled sharply. “That’s what I want this speech to do. I want people to feel seen.”
“And they will because you’re speaking from the heart. You’re not just talking about writing sex scenes. You’re talking about reclaiming pleasure and writing about Black women as fully realized sexual beings who deserve to be worshipped and satisfied.”
Shamari nodded. “Period! That’s what I’m talking about. You about to kill this shit, Roe.”
Monisa smiled. “She’s right, babe. You’re going to be incredible. Just remember to breathe, take your time, and let the words land. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. That’s where the power is.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I can do this.”
“You can and you will.” We went through the speech two more times, and by the time we were done, I felt ready.
My nerves were still there, but they were mixed with excitement now.
I was ready to take that stage and say what needed to be said.
Monisa stood up and gave me a hug. “I’ll see you downstairs.
I’m going to make sure everything’s set up. You’ve got this, Roe.”
“Thanks, Monisa.”
She left, and Shamari turned to me with a huge grin on her face. “You sure you ready?”
“Yeah, come on.” We headed downstairs to the ballroom where the keynote and panel was being held. The room was packed.
There had to be at least three hundred people in there, maybe more.
Authors, readers, industry professionals, and the media.
Everyone was dressed up, talking, laughing, and networking.
The energy was electric. While Shamari took her designated seat in the front row, I walked backstage and felt my heart pounding in my chest. This was it.
This was the moment I’d been working toward for years.
Monisa gave me one last pep talk when she joined us backstage and then the moderator came over to introduce herself. Her name was Tanessa, and she was a well-known book blogger and podcaster in the Black romance community.
“So, Ms. Favorite Author, you ready?” she asked, smiling at me.
I smiled back. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
She stepped around the curtain as the lights dimmed and I heard her voice over the microphone.
“Good afternoon, everyone! Thank you so much for being here today. We’re about to kick off this final day of an incredible weekend with a keynote speech from one of the most talented voices in Black erotic romance.
She’s a best selling author, a trailblazer, and someone who’s been pushing the boundaries of what it means to write authentic desire.
Please give a warm welcome to Roe Blackwell! ”
The room erupted in applause and I took a deep breath.
I walked out onto the stage, and the lights were bright, but I could still see the faces in the crowd.
I could see Shamari in the front row, clapping and cheering.
I could see Monisa standing off to the side, nodding at me with pride.
And then I saw Case sitting in the middle of the room with eyes locked on me.
He clapped with intensity as his eyes roamed all over my body.
My pussy thumped and I mentally told her to relax. We had business to handle.
I walked up to the podium and adjusted the microphone.
The applause died down and the room went quiet as I looked out at the crowd and smiled.
“Good afternoon,” I said, my voice steady.
“Thank you all for being here. Thank you for supporting Black voices. Thank you for believing that our stories matter. That our desires matter. That our pleasure matters.”
The crowd clapped again and I waited for them to settle before I continued.
“Today, I wanna talk to you about something that’s been on my heart for a long time. I wanna talk about vulnerability, the craft, and what it means to write authentic desire in a world that’s constantly trying to police Black women’s sexuality.”
I paused and looked out at the crowd. They were locked in.
“When I first started writing erotica, I was scared that people would judge me. That they’d think I was too much.
You know, that I was too explicit and too sexual.
I was scared that my family would be ashamed of me or look at me differently.
I was scared that I would be reduced to just the sex scenes I wrote instead of being seen as a serious author. ”
I could see people nodding like they understood.
“But then I realized something… the shame I was feeling wasn’t mine.
It was something that had been placed on me by a society that’s terrified of Black women owning their sexuality.
A society that’s comfortable with us being hypersexualized but not with us being sexual on our own terms. A society that wants to consume our bodies but doesn’t want to honor our pleasure. ”
The room was silent now as everyone hung onto every word.
“So I made a decision. I decided that I wasn’t gonna write for the male gaze. I wasn’t gonna write for respectability. I was gonna write for us. For Black women who deserve to see themselves as desirable, worthy of pleasure and of being worshipped.”
The crowd erupted in applause and I felt the emotion rising in my chest.
“When I write a sex scene, I’m not just writing about bodies.
I’m writing about power. I’m writing about a Black woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it.
I’m writing about the Black woman who isn’t afraid to demand it.
I’m writing about the Black woman who isn’t afraid to take it. ”
More applause came with more head nodding and more women leaning forward in their seats.
“And that’s what I wanna encourage all of you to do.
Whether you’re a writer or a reader, I want you to give yourself permission to feel, to desire, and to be unapologetic about what turns you on.
Because your pleasure matters. Your fantasies matter.
Your sexuality matters. And no one gets to tell you otherwise. ”
I paused and looked out at the crowd again. I could see tears in some people’s eyes. I could see women nodding and whispering to each other. I could see Case still watching me with that same intensity.
“So let’s write stories that center Black women’s pleasure.
Let’s read stories where we’re not just objects of desire but subjects of our own desire.
Let’s enjoy stories where we get to cum.
Where we get to be satisfied. Where we get to be loved, worshipped, and cherished.
Because we deserve that in fiction and in real life. ”
The room exploded in applause. People were standing up, clapping, and cheering.
Shamari was screaming from the front row and I could see Monisa wiping tears from her eyes.
Case stood up, clapping slowly with a smirk on his face, his eyes never leaving mine.
I smiled, blew a kiss at the audience before taking a bow.
Then, I walked off the stage with my heart pounding and my hands shaky, but I felt alive. I felt powerful. I felt like I’d just said everything I’d been holding inside for years. Backstage, Shamari ran up to me and threw her arms around me.
“Cousin! That was dope to see!” she screamed. “You killed it! You fuckin’ killed it!”
Monisa was right behind her, smiling and nodding. “That was perfection, Roe. Absolutely perfect. You had that room in the palm of your hand!”
“Thank you,” I said, still trying to catch my breath. “I can’t believe I just did that.”
“You did. And you were amazing.”
Tasmine, Sapphire and Tanessa came over and gave me a hug after hug. Sapphire said, “That was one of the best keynotes I’ve ever heard. Seriously! You set the tone for others moving forward.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Alright, we’ve got about fifteen minutes before the panel starts,” Tasmine informed me. “You ready?”
“After that speech?” I chuckled. “More than ready.”
When I walked out onto the stage, there were three other authors seated and waiting for the panel to begin.
Adana Cole was a veteran in the game who’d been writing Black erotica for over twenty years.
Sharif Rivers was one of the few male Black romance authors in the industry who wrote from a woman’s perspective and did it extremely well.
Next to Sharif was Valera Lora, a newer author who’d blown up in the last two years with her dark romance series.
I greeted them all and then took a seat next to the podium.
When Case walked out onto the stage, the crowd of VIP readers that specifically booked this portion of the conference went wild. Damn, he looks good.
He sat down in the chair next to me, and I could smell his cologne. It was the same scent that had been all over my body this morning. “You did your thing up there, baby,” he said, leaning over so only I could hear him.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
“Nah, dead ass. That speech was fire. You got me ready to write some shit right now.”
I smiled. “Good. Keep you on your toes.”
Tasmine walked onto the stage, handed each of us a microphone, and sat down in the moderator’s chair.
She welcomed everyone again and introduced each of us.
The crowd clapped for each author, but when she introduced Case, the applause was deafening.
He was a legend in this space, and everyone knew it.
“Alright, let’s dive in,” Tasmine said. “I wanna start by asking each of you about your process. How do you approach writing a sex scene? What’s your mindset? Adana, let’s start with you.”
Adana talked about how she focuses on the emotional connection between her characters before she gets to the physical.
Sharif talked about how he tries to write from a place of empathy and understanding, making sure the woman’s pleasure is always centered.
Valera talked about how she uses sex scenes to show power dynamics and character development.