Chapter 38
Teddy
I was later to the airport than I’d hoped to be.
First, I’d lingered at Gwenynen, standing in the car park with my bag on my shoulder, watching Maggie console Jen through the studio window.
I’d never let myself see this part before – the way it affected Jen when I left – and did it make me a bad person that I was glad she was sad?
Glad to be missed? Either way, I was happy she had Maggie; that she wasn’t alone.
And from the way Jen seemed to slot effortlessly into Maggie’s embrace, I suspected they would be less alone than ever.
I’d stood for far too long watching them, wishing I wasn’t the one giving them a reason to cry together, even if I was happy it was happening.
The journey to the airport had been massively inefficient, too.
It had taken longer than usual to return the Subaru to the rental place, thanks to a rental agent who seemed to be experiencing his first day ever on Earth, and then the shuttle to the terminal had broken down on the way, and we’d had to wait for a replacement bus.
It felt like the universe was desperate to keep me in the UK, to which I said, Girl, same. But I’d made my decision.
This all meant that my comfortable, if a bit excessive, three-hours-early airport policy had been shaved to barely one.
So now I was walking through the terminal like I had so many times before, but twice as fast and twice as gutted to leave.
I wished like always that I could stay, but also like always, there was nothing I could do about it.
Plus, I loved Chloe, and I wanted her to be happy.
I hoped I’d be back next summer to see her happy and thriving.
I felt the familiar fatigue set in at the pace of this half-life I was living. I didn’t know what I was going to do about it, but I had a few months to figure it out, I guessed. I reached down to pick a few of Willow’s hairs off my knee, reminding me of yet another thing I was leaving behind.
Once I got to the gate, waiting for them to call my group to go through the passport check, I extracted my phone from my pocket to pass the time.
I’d switched on airplane mode early – I wanted to stop myself from being able to make any desperate last-minute phone calls to a certain someone who had been pretty mad at me last week.
But apparently I’d connected automatically to the Wi-Fi – I really did come to this airport too much – because I saw that, amongst other notifications I ignored for now, I had a message waiting from my dad.
DAD
Hey kid. I know you’re heading home, but don’t come see me for a while, yeah? I’ve checked myself into the Cooper Center. Felt fitting. Should be out in 6 weeks or so. Love you.
Well, I thought, I guess it really will just be me on my own.
It was crowded at the gate, and for once the desk agent was actually refusing to let them through before she called out their group.
I kept getting jostled toward the desk, but I refused to be one of those people, so I stood my ground as the crowd of my fellow economy passengers grew around me.
Someone motioned for me to move forward, shoving as he did, so I just showed him the big number three on my boarding pass, then pointed at the screen that said “Now boarding groups 1 the vision you still stick to even now. Even when things are hard. And I want to be a part of bringing that vision to life. But I’m passionate about a lot of things. And one of those things is you.”
My heart pinched, and I squeezed her hand in mine.
“My job is amazing for lots of reasons, but the reason Gwenynen feels like home is because you’re there. Without you, it’ll be a great job. But it won’t be home. Because you make everything better. Our friends love you, your family at the farm loves you, and I love you.”
I let out a pained sigh. “I love you, too, Chloe. But I can’t stay. I talked to Jen. It’s just not poss—”
“I spoke to the council,” Chloe interrupted, and I frowned mid-word. “I had a meeting with them, and I told them they were idiots not to consider you a local.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You did not call the council idiots.”
“Okay fine,” she conceded, “but I did tell Dafydd that you were the best thing for that farm. That it wouldn’t exist without you, and that if he wants to help Gwenynen Hollow reach its full potential, keeping you is the best way to do it.”
“You did?” I asked, a lump in my throat. I’d poured my heart and soul into that farm, and hearing her acknowledge that – fight for it on my behalf, even – meant the world.
“I did,” she said, beaming with pride. “And they agreed.”
It took me a moment to compute what she’d said; I just stood there blinking at her. But when I did understand, my mouth dropped open. “You’re shitting me.”
Chloe laughed and shook her head. “I’m really not. The grant money can be used to pay your salary, as long as the farm sponsors you officially. And Jen said they can do that. Something about you starting to pay rent?”
My heart felt like it might burst out of my chest, board the plane, and take off into the sky.
“You did that for me?” I asked, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. But the tears forming in my eyes said everything I couldn’t. Chloe reached up and brushed them away with her thumb, which just made more take their place.
“I would do anything for you.”
“But what about you?” I asked, holding her hands in place where they held my face. “It’s not home for me, either, without you there. Not anymore. I can’t imagine it without you.”
Now it was her turn to get emotional, her mouth turning down as her lip began to quiver. “Fuck, Teddy, I love you so much, you and your honey-glazed heart.”
“I love you, too,” I said again, a lump forming in my throat. I caught her mouth with mine for a kiss. Just a quick one – we weren’t done yet.
“I spent the drive here on the phone with Jen,” she said as we pulled apart. “It’ll be tight, but we should both be able to work there. I’ll only be part time—”
I must have frowned, because Chloe laughed and used her fingers to smooth the crease in my brow.
“Dafydd offered for me to consult with local businesses with the rest of my time,” she explained. “Help them do what Gwenynen is doing.”
It was the absolute perfect thing for her. She had so many ideas, and so much to give; way more than Gwenynen could ever hold on its own.
“So … we both get what we want?” I asked, my voice tentative. I didn’t want to misunderstand, but it felt like she was saying exactly that, and I couldn’t help the heat that pooled in my chest.
“We do,” she said, nodding, a tear slipping down her cheek. She pressed up onto her toes to bring her forehead to mine, her nose bumping against my own. “But I’ll only be getting everything I want if you’re here, too. So please, stay.”
I nodded, shaking both of us. “Yes, of course I’ll stay,” I said, openly weeping now. “I’d do anything to stay with you.”
“All you have to do is leave this airport and come home,” she said, kissing each of my cheeks, then my nose, then my mouth. She started to pull away, but I grabbed her face, too, and pulled her back in, kissing her deeply. The whole world melted away around me as I did.
Home.
When I finally let her go, I heard clapping, and we both looked around to see people watching us, cheering us on. Even the people still stood around the gate waiting to be let in looked touched. The gate agent made eye contact with me and smiled.
“Group three?” she asked. I shook my head.
“Not today,” I said, smiling back.
I looked down at Chloe, who stood beaming by my side. She laced her fingers through mine as I picked my bag up from where it had fallen and heaved it onto my shoulder. We turned and walked toward the exit together.
“How did you get through security anyway?” I asked. “Did you seriously buy a ticket?”
“Sure did,” she said. “I didn’t have my passport, so I had to go for Newcastle. We can go there instead if you’d like.”
I laughed and looped my arm over her shoulders, pulling her into me. “I just wanna go home,” I said.
And for the first time, I could do just that.