Chapter 9
nine
Morgan
I don’t understand these men at all. They’re completely secluded up here, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. I honestly have no idea where we are or remember how I got here, I only remember snippets of running for days on end.
I was trying to outrun the pain of knowing my mate didn’t want me.
No, he didn’t outright reject me, but he might as well have for how it felt.
Just knowing Alex never had any intention of keeping me feels like a blade through my stomach.
All the things he said, the sweet things he did, giving me hope for a future I could have that would actually give me good thigns, only to turn around and remind me I’m nothing but a half-breed piece of filth he’d never tie himself to.
But now I’m far away from him, from that town, and for the first time in I don’t know how long, I feel like I can actually breathe.
Up here, I don’t have to worry about what people will think when they see me, because there are no people. I don’t have to worry about providing for myself either as long as I stay in my wolf form, because I can hunt when I’m hungry.
Unless I get my dumb ass injured and incapacitated.
I must have been completely out of it to get stabbed so thoroughly with a dead piece of tree. I’m so pissed at myself for getting injured, but the goddess must still hold some sort of affection for me, because it seems kindness found me instead of something that could have been so much worse.
In the few days I’ve been at their home, the three men that took me in have been nothing but gentle and kind, nurturing even. They make me feel warm.
I’ve learned not to trust anyone, but I’m about to make another mistake, because I miss my human form. I have a sinking feeling in my gut that as soon as I take to two legs again, they’ll cast me out. They’re going to know I’m not who they think I am, and they’re going to send me packing.
Well, can’t pack if I own nothing, I guess.
Much as I want to, I can’t stay a wolf forever. She’s getting sick of me, wants a rest. She’s not used to being in control for so long and if I don’t allow the shift soon, she’s likely going to do it at the least convenient time. Like when I’m out in the forest trying to pee, for example.
Fuck, I really miss proper toilets.
The thought of facing them as my human self after days of belly rubs and head pats is scary.
The guys are all out back working on some project or other in the yard, they told me to come out and find them if I needed anything. I feel so clingy though, following them around and demanding to be pet like a damn dog.
It’s just so nice to be treated well, even if I know it won’t last.
I’m starting to think of them as my friends though, so I guess it’s best to get it over with now so I can figure out where to go next.
Part of me thinks I’m really dumb for not taking the already-paid-for home that Alex set me up with, but I don’t think I want him to have access to me, even if he doesn’t use it.
I don’t like the idea of him even knowing where I am, because I’ll be unsettled and expecting him to show up anytime and stir up trouble.
Really, I’ve put this shift off long enough.
I take advantage of the empty house, and I borrow a T-shirt from Troy’s room before locking myself into the bathroom, breathing deep and stealing myself for the pain of shifting. The longer I go without, the more it hurts to do.
Considering this is the longest I’ve gone in one form, I know it’s going to be a bitch.
It doesn’t take much reasoning with my wolf to cede control, she gives it up gladly, leaving me to stand on rickety legs that don’t want to hold me up.
It’s my own damn fault that I’m too weak to stand. My own damn fault that I immediately fall over and smack my forehead on the doorknob. Fuck.
“Wolfie? What was that— you okay? Hold on, I’m coming up!”
Should have known they would have been listening in case I needed them. “I’m fine! Just hit my head.”
I’m met with silence at first, and I realize that was the first thing they’re going to hear from me. That could have been a much better impression.
“Um, hi? You want to open the door for me sweetheart, so I can see?”
It’s Troy, the one who found me, and apparently that’s a theme for him. He’s right up against the door, breathing against it, and I feel so awkward using my voice. Up until recently though, I very rarely ran around in my wolf form.
“I’m kind of naked at the moment…raincheck?”
I hear muttered curses which make me bite my lip with a smile, and I’m scared to turn the shower on lest it drown out any sounds he might make.
“Do you…need to borrow some clothes?”
I can just picture him, out there practically pacing, wanting to help but also wanting to give me some privacy.
“I grabbed some already, hope that’s okay.
I’ll just be a few minutes; I want to give my hair a good washing and scrub my face before you guys see me for the first time.
” And probably the last time, I add in my head.
“That’s—yeah, that’s…fine. Good. Yes, that’s good.” Okay, now I do smile because his voice cracks. “Just uh, take your time? We’ll be around. If you need us, that is. Not listening in or anything.”
“Good to know, Troy. Thank you.”
More cursing.
I crank the water to be as hot as it will go before grabbing a washcloth and availing myself of every type of soap they’ve got in that perfectly clean tiled shower, because I’ve never felt so dirty in my life.
I can hear Troy out there, just barely, pacing up and down the hall in case I need him again, and that…makes me strangely comfortable.
I have way too much damn hair. Maybe I’ll borrow some scissors later and give myself a good trim.
By the time I’m out, my skin is rubbed raw, so I dump a bunch of lotion onto my skin I find under the cabinet, breaking the seal on it and hoping they don’t mind.
I almost feel like my normal self again when I try to finger comb through my tangles because I can’t find a brush. I wince at the mark on my forehead, then remember to check out my leg because I told myself I didn’t have to look at it until I was out of the shower.
There’s still a pink scar that’s looking a hell of a lot better than I imagine it did a few days ago, and because of how long the oversized splinter was stuck there and how much I fought with it, I’m sure that scar will be with me for a while, but at least it’s somewhere easily covered.
Knowing there’s no use trying to hide the big goose egg on my forehead, I hang up my towel and take a deep breath, having to count myself down to turn the handle and walk out into the hall.
I peek my head out first, nearly headbutting Troy. “Oh, sorry!”
He reels back, bumping against the wall behind him.
“You’re…fuck. Yep, knew it. We’re all screwed.
Fuck. I said that already, didn’t I? I’m sorry, but you’re fucking gorgeous.
And I’m…I’m so filthy dirty right now from gardening.
I promise I’m usually cleaner than this. I really do bathe regularly.”
I smile at him and attempt to untangle more knots in my hair, quickly giving up. “I know. I’ve been here, remember? I’m Morgan, by the way. Sorry you had to wait so long to hear that. I just…needed some time, I guess.”
He steps forward and picks up my hand, ensconcing it with two of his. “We’d wait as long as we needed to. I’m just happy you’re feeling well enough to shift back for us. I heard you fall, you okay? Ouch, I see. Okay, come on. You need an ice pack.”
He offers me his arm, which I don’t really need, but take nonetheless, and let him guide me down to the kitchen like I don’t know where it is.
He’s being kind of cute though, so I’ll let him have that win.
“Here, peas. Nothing better.”
He grabs a package from a spot on the freezer door and wraps it up in a cloth before holding it to my forehead. This puts his face way to close to mine, and this close up, I can see every striation of green in his hazel eyes. “Thanks,” I whisper.
There’s something really intense behind his eyes, something that has me leaning forward before I catch myself.
I can’t implicate any of these good samaritans in my bullshit.
I take the peas carefully so I don’t touch him, mumbling a thanks and seeing hurt flash in his eyes at the rejection.
When I turn, the other two are standing slack-jawed, vying for entrance at the sliding glass door. Their eyes are running up and down my bare legs, then they clock the injury on my forehead and immediately turn their attention to Troy.
“Woah, it wasn’t me!” he’s quick to defend, putting himself between me and the angry wolves. “She fell.”
“Yeah, uh, my legs were a bit shaky when I shifted and I just wasn’t really prepared for that. He had nothing to do with it.” I flash a quick smile and can’t help but wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.
“Right.” Troy clears his throat when his brothers step inside and finally close the door. “Guys, meet Morgan.”
I offer a pathetic wave. “I can’t thank you enough for taking care of me when you had absolutely no obligation to. You probably saved me. I can get out of your hair now though, give you your home back.”
Not sure if it would be more awkward to take the peas with me or hand them back. I end up dropping them instead, and naturally the bag splits, and little frozen green pebbles roll all over the floor.
“Damnit. I’m sorry. I’m a mess.”
I bend over to start cleaning, but Wiley leaps forward, blocking me. “We’ve got this. Why don’t you sit, and we’ll get you a snack?”
I look at the chair he’s pointing to, confused. What do I do now?
“Here, I’ve got you. Just… relax. You’re not going anywhere.
I mean, we’re not like holding you here against your will.
Just…that came out wrong. Sorry. You make me nervous.
Ha, I probably shouldn’t have admitted that, huh?
Oh well.” Wiley escorts me past the mess and pulls out a chair for me, and I tuck the t-shirt I’ve got on under my legs, lest I flash one of them.