Chapter 12
RACHEL
“What hurt the most was that he was the one to go. It should have been me, and I should have done it years ago, when I realized we weren’t working and never would. At least not the way either of us wanted. But I held on. I kept trying. And in the end, he decided it was over. I was mad at him, sure, but I was far more disappointed in myself.”
“I get that.” Jinx nods from the other end of the couch. He’s leaning against one arm, and I’m kicked back against the other, each of us with one knee pulled up on the cushions.
“Now everyone thinks I was the problem. That he walked out on me, when the truth is that we were both done.”
He fixes his gaze on me, his lips turning down. “No one thinks that, Sunny.”
“But they do. I’ve seen the pitiful looks in town.” Just thinking about it sends a pang through my chest. “They think I didn’t measure up. I know better, but it still hurts. And it makes me doubt myself, too. Because I did stay. I was too weak to leave. So they’re not completely wrong.”
He shakes his head. “No. They are wrong. And anyone who knows you—anyone whose opinion is worth a damn—knows the truth. Even me. Remember that day you brought him his lunch and donuts?”
“The day I almost face-planted in the EE lobby?” I chuckle softly and tip my head back against the couch, a hint of that day’s embarrassment bubbling up inside me. “How could I forget? You obviously haven’t, so don’t try to tell me it wasn’t a big deal.”
He smiles. “I do remember. Not because you almost biffed it, but because of the way he treated you.”
I swallow back a wave of shame. “You noticed that?”
“Fuck yes. Every one of us did. I thought Jesse was going to lose his shit. He wouldn’t even look at Craig in the meeting afterward.”
“Really?”
“I’m not going to sit here and bash him, because I’m not going to disrespect you like that.” His expression is so serious, so sincere, and surprising coming from this man who’s always teasing and always smiling. “You were married to him, and you have two incredible children together. But he showed everyone in the office that morning just how undeserving he was of you. And I bet there are people all over town who’ve seen the same on other occasions.”
“I’d like to think that, but it’s hard to pretend I haven’t seen the way they look at me.”
“It’s the nature of the beast, Rach. People love drama, and in a small town like this, they’re going to latch on to any tidbit of it they can get, even if they know better.”
He’s right, and what he’s telling me isn’t anything I haven’t told myself a dozen times already.
“Fuck them,” he adds, lifting his chin. “I know it’s easier said than done, but fuck them.”
His enthusiasm and vigor make me smile, which in turn makes him smile.
“I like that grin a hell of a lot more than your tears.” He reaches out and nudges my shoulder. “But I meant what I said before. If crying is what you need to do, I’ll be the friend who sits with you while you do it.”
“You’re so sweet.”
“Listen…” He leans forward and lowers his voice surreptitiously. “If you could keep that between us, that’d be great.”
I tip my head back and laugh. “Can’t ruin your bad boy reputation, huh?”
“Exactly.”
“I hate to tell you, but I think most people are onto you. I mean, you single-handedly keep this town looking like a Better Homes and Garden magazine spread.”
He snorts. “I don’t know about that. Besides, it’s not just me. I have Connor, and Jack helps during the summer, too. Mason is starting to shape up pretty nicely, as well.”
“Yes, but don’t forget about all the work you do off the clock.”
He lifts a brow.
“You didn’t think anyone noticed?” For Pete’s sake, he’s always working. I’ve seen him cutting grass at seven in the morning and pulling weeds in the flower beds by the highway at seven at night. Never mind all the time he’s putting in with Mason around town. “Your hard work does not go unseen, believe me.”
He rubs the back of his neck and peers up at me. “Yeah, well, not everyone notices. I promise you that.”
Is that a little passive aggressiveness I detect? “Who do you want to notice?”
With a grunt, he gets to his feet, then paces to the window. “We were talking about you, Sunny. Not me.”
“Uh-uh. That’s not how friendship works. It’s a two-way street, mister.”
He glances back, wearing a crooked grin. “Mister? First you break out my legal name and now mister?”
“You don’t like the formality?”
He doesn’t answer, just looks back to the window for a long, silent moment. “Jesse doesn’t seem to notice.” His words are so quiet that I’m not sure if he meant to say them out loud.
“I don’t know how he couldn’t.”
He lifts a shoulder, still turned away from me. “I don’t either, but he’s never mentioned it. Maybe it’s because he’s been so busy with Jett and the business. Who knows.”
All I know about his role in Enders Excavating is what Craig shared years ago. That Jesse offered Jinx a partnership, and he declined. But the defeat in Jinx’s posture and tone makes me wonder if there’s more to the story.
“I don’t know what Jesse has going on, but I can say that raising kids can pretty easily distract a person from a lot of things. Especially if he’s confident in the work you’re doing.”
“He might be too confident,” he mutters.
“Is that a bad thing?”
He drops his head, then finally turns to face me. “You have an older brother, right?”
“I do. He lives in Virginia now.”
“Are you two close?”
“Not really. I talk to his wife more than I do him these days.”
He hums, mulling that over. “I’m close with all of my siblings. All of us living here in Cole Creek has definitely helped with that. But sometimes…” He breaks off as a shadow passes over his face. “Sometimes it makes it harder, too.”
His situation is so much different from mine, but I recognize that look anyway. “Your brothers have left big shoes to fill.”
He glances at me, brows lifted in surprise.
“My mother left some pretty big ones behind herself.”
He comes back to the couch, shoulders slumped, and drops onto the cushion. “That’s exactly it. Don’t get me wrong—they’re great guys—Aiden and Jesse are the fucking golden boys of this town.”
“You’re pretty shiny yourself,” I tease.
He doesn’t bite. With a sigh, he says, “They don’t think so.”
“Your parents?” I can’t imagine that’s true. Janice and Al have nothing but love and adoration for their children.
“My brothers.” He lowers his head and stretches his neck. “Mostly Jesse.”
“Oh.” I don’t know if I buy that, either.“Why do you think that?”
For a moment, he’s silent, tracing lines on the arm of the couch. “Do you know how I got the nickname?”
“Uh-uh.” Long ago, I heard a rumor about him, a girl, and another guy, but I’m pretty sure people were calling him Jinx long before he would have been old enough to partake in that kind of activity.
“I was eight. Jesse was playing youth football like Mason is now. It was Aiden’s first year not playing, because he’d aged out, and I was a few months shy of being old enough. Anyway, they were playing one of the teams from down south. An easy team. Jesse was the quarterback, and he was working on his sixth win of the season. If they won, he would have beaten Aiden’s record.”
“Okay…”
“Dalton and Marcus Kaminski came down with a case of summer strep throat. That meant the team didn’t have enough kids to play. Jesse was pissed.”
Knowing all about brotherly competition from my students, I nod. “I bet.”
“Dad decided to suit me up.”
“But you said you weren’t old enough.”
“I wasn’t, but no one really checks the records in youth football. At least, they didn’t back then. Anyway, I’d been practicing with the team for a couple of years, so I knew the plays. But I had nothing on those bigger kids.” He shakes his head in shame.
It’s clearly something he takes very seriously. I have to bite back a smile at how cute he looks, revisiting this childhood memory.
“We not only lost, but Jesse got sacked three times.”
I winced. “Ouch.”
“He blamed the loss and the sacks on me. Said I was bad luck and called me a jinx.”
“You weren’t even old enough to play.”
“Didn’t matter.” He lifts one shoulder and lets it fall again. “He had to blame someone, and I was the easiest target. For the rest of the summer, he found at least a dozen more things that were my fault, too, and he called me a jinx every single time. Pretty soon, it’s all he called me. And then my family picked up on it, because they thought it was cute.”
“Oh no.” Poor little Jinx. Or Justin, rather. “Even your mom?”
He nods. “It took her longer to adopt it, but eventually her, too.” He sighs. “It sounds so stupid now.”
“It’s not stupid.” I shift in my seat, sitting a little straighter. “You don’t like the nickname because the memories associated with it are painful. That’s valid.”
“I’ve never been able to live that shit down, and I hate it.”
“But you don’t have anything to live down. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Tell that to the pissed off eleven-year-old who thought he was King Shit.”
I’m not sure what to say to make it better. God knows I’m still hung up on things from my childhood, too.
“Well, I’m not going to call you Jinx anymore,” I declare, lifting my chin.
He quirks a brow. “No?”
“Not if you don’t like it.”
“It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s the origin that sucks.”
“Isn’t it all connected?”
“The flip side is that at least he cared enough to give me a nickname, you know?” He lifts both hands, looking so adorable in his vulnerability.
“No offense, but you’re kind of a mess.”
One side of his mouth tips up a fraction. “Don’t I know it.”
“At least we’re in good company.”
“You’re not a mess, Sunny.”
“Oh, but I am. You just wait and see.”