Chapter 38
JINX
“Inever want to leave this place.” Rachel holds her arms out at her sides, turns her face up to the sun, and smiles into the breeze coming off Lake Michigan.
I scored the vacation rental this morning because of a cancellation. I have to believe there was some kind of divine intervention involved. The cabin is perfect. Cute and quaint, with a sandy beach and this little dock that’s perfect for a couple of chairs or beach towels. There’s a hot tub on the back patio, and the master bathroom has a tub that I definitely plan on breaking in. I’ve been fantasizing about Sunny in nothing but bubbles since she answered my call from the bathtub all those weeks ago.
“It’s quite a view,” I say, wrapping my arms around her from behind. “Then again, you’re in it, too.”
I find that sweet spot behind her ear and press my lips to her warm skin.
With a giggle, she leans into the kiss. “You’re just full of all the right words, aren’t you?”
“They flow when I’m around you. What can I say?” And damn if that’s not the truth. My heart is so full when I’m with her. The words can’t be contained.
She turns and loops her arms around my neck. “Can we have a campfire tonight? Looks like there’s plenty of wood.”
I nod. “Absolutely. I even grabbed supplies for s’mores.”
Her eyes widen eagerly. “Did you really? I haven’t had one yet this summer.”
“We’ll remedy that in no time.” I dip low and steal a quick kiss. “But first, I was thinking maybe we’d break out the suntan lotion and soak up some of these rays.”
She wrinkles her nose, drawing attention to the freckles scattered across the bridge. “You mean the sunscreen.”
I laugh. “I got you covered, babe. I hope you brought a swimsuit.”
She waggles her brows. “I did. And not my mom-bod one, either.”
My dick twitches at the image that flashes in my mind. “Please tell me it’s a two-piece.”
She purses her lips. “It is. As secluded as it is here, there’s a chance, if you’re extra sweet, that it’ll become a one-piece.”
Hell yes. Then again, if she goes topless, it’ll only be a matter of time before we’re both skinny dipping.
“Maybe you should show me.”
She wriggles out of my grasp and slowly walks backward a couple of steps before she strides to the end of the dock and across the yard. “Maybe you should catch me.”
I barely have time to register her words before she takes off at a sprint toward the cabin.
Five minutes later, our clothes are in a pile on the cabin floor, and she’s bent over the back of the couch.
I didn’t steal her away so I could fuck her every chance I get, but I won’t lie…
This is a damn good way to kick off our weekend.
JINX
“That wasthe best grilled cheese sandwich I’ve ever had.” Rachel leans back in the big Adirondack chair with a satisfied sigh. “I’ve never had one made on a campfire before.”
“Me neither, but they were pretty good.”
I’m not much of a cook, so our menu for the weekend is fairly basic. Knowing Rachel, she won’t care what I make as long as she doesn’t have to cook herself.
“We should get one of those contraptions.” She points at the sandwich maker I found with the grill tools. “The kids would love it.”
“I noticed you used to have a fire pit in the backyard. Would it be okay if I fixed it up?”
Her eyes light up even brighter against the orange glow of the fire. “Could you? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.”
Oh, it’ll be fancy, but I won’t spoil the surprise and tell her that just yet.
I affect a bland expression and toss our paper plates into the fire. “I’ll see what I can do next week.”
She tips her head and squints. “Don’t you dare. You already took off work today. I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do.”
I lift a shoulder and poke at a log on the fire with a stick. “I’m not putting in as many hours these days, so I’ll have time in the evening.”
“Things still rocky with Jesse?”
“Actually, I think they’re all right.” And damn, does it feel good to have that weight lifted off my chest.
I tell her about how he showed up at the Pruitts’ last night. Not the part about me pulling my head from my ass, but the part about the two of us planning to sit down and talk soon.
“Baby, that’s amazing.” She hops up from her chair and crawls into my lap so she can hug me. “I’m so happy for you.”
“We haven’t talked yet, so don’t get too excited.”
“It’s going to work out.” She pulls back and holds my face in her hands. “You and I are unstoppable together, remember?”
Grinning, I loop my arms around her waist. “I’d like to think so.”
“So have faith.” She plants a kiss on my lips. “But if that’s not possible, I have enough for both of us.”
Something inside me warms. It takes a second for the realization to hit. This is what it’s like to be part of a couple. This connection and this belief in one another.
“I love you.”
She smiles and taps the tip of my nose. “I love you, too.”
I stretch up for another kiss just as fireworks light up over the water from somewhere down the beach. We’re tucked into a little cove, but the trees closest to the water are low, giving us a clear view of the night sky.
“Oh, I love fireworks!” She shifts around so she’s facing the water.
We sit like that, watching the colors burst in the sky for several minutes before I pull her back against my chest. When she snuggles in close, I’m not sure there’s ever been a more perfect moment.
“Tell me something about you no one else knows,” I say, my lips against her temple.
“Hmm. I think Crystal knows it all, so that might be tough.”
“You two have been friends for a long time, huh?”
“Since the year we were both hired at the elementary school. So, eleven years now.”
“What’s she going to think about us? She won’t be too disappointed that her matchmaking wasn’t successful, I hope.”
She gives a light laugh. “She had her suspicions, so she won’t be surprised.”
“Ah. In that case, I might have to give her hell for trying to set you up with Jamie fucking Stroud.”
“What?” She prods my stomach playfully. “Were you really that worried?”
“Uh, I showed up to intervene, did I not? Of course I was worried. The guy is built like a brick house.”
“Trust me, you had nothing to worry about. He was just appeasing Crystal and Tony, too. He’s still hung up on his ex-wife.”
“No shit. Jack’s mom?”
“Yep.” She pops her lips. “And that reminds me of something I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
She pulls in a deep breath as another round of fireworks goes off. When the sky has gone dark again, she lets it out and shifts so her eyes are on mine. “Jamie didn’t come out and say it, but I suspect part of the reason Camille left is that after they got pregnant and married so young, she felt like she’d never had time to grow up herself. To figure out who she was as an individual. She never had the opportunity to do her own thing.”
“Okay…”
“I can relate. Yes, I went to college and established my career before I had Mason, but I had been in a relationship with Craig since I was seventeen. At that age, I wanted to do everything I could for him. I was never a priority, not even to myself.”
That’s why I’m going to make damn sure she takes that opportunity for herself now. Why I’ve made her my priority.
“I’ve never told anyone this, but for a long time, I blamed my mom for making me think that giving up on myself was what I was supposed to do.” Her voice cracks on the last few words, but she clears her throat and continues on. “When I was a little girl, I was in awe of her. She’d teach all day and come home every night to make dinner, take care of me and FJ, and tend to my dad’s every need.
“My dad said something not long ago about my mom not being perfect. That comment opened up a ton of memories for me. Memories of finding my mom crying in her garden and memories of her sitting on the stool in the laundry room with her head hung in her hands. She even disappeared one weekend. She never came home after school that Friday. I was beside myself, but Dad didn’t seem all that surprised. And when she showed up on Sunday, things went right back to normal. Like she’d never left at all.” She gives a soft laugh through her tears. “Somehow, I forgot about all of that. Probably because I was so traumatized when she left.”
I give her a gentle squeeze. “Childhood fucks us all up in one way or another.” I don’t say that to diminish her experience, but rather to reassure her.
“It’s ridiculous that it took me so long to remember that she wasn’t perfect. And that she wasn’t always happy. She struggled just like I did. And in the end…” She sucks in a tremulous breath. “In the end, she died without ever having the opportunity for more.”
My heart aches for her. Fuck, I wish I could take away her pain. But it’s obvious she needs to get this out, and my role right now is simply to listen.
“I was so bitter and so freaking mad at her,” she cries. “I glorified her to the point of begrudging her because the shoes she left behind never fit me quite like they did her. They cramped my style and, ultimately, my heart.” She chases away her tears with the heel of her hand. “But she never forced me to wear those shoes, you know? I did that all on my own.”
I rest my chin on her shoulder, my heart pinching with sympathy for her. “But now you know the truth. Hers and yours.”
“I do. But knowing it doesn’t feel like enough. I have this…” She sits up and swallows hard, then presses a hand to her chest. “I have this ache… this feeling that I have to make it right with her somehow. But how can I do that when she isn’t even here?”
I smooth her hair and tuck a strand behind her ear. “She wasn’t here when you felt the way you did, babe. I don’t think she needs to be here now for you to forgive yourself, either.”
She holds my gaze for a long beat, letting quiet tears stream down her face. “You’re right. Now that I’m being logical about all of this, I see it. But that doesn’t ease the guilt.”
“When’s the last time you visited her?”
She frowns and tilts her head, and then her eyes clear when she realizes what I’m saying. “Oh. I went to the cemetery on Mother’s Day. With my dad.”
“How about by yourself? Just you and her?”
She chews on the corner of her lip and surveys the surface of the lake. “A long time.”
“Maybe you should start there.”
She nods slowly. “Yeah.”
“I can almost guarantee your mom isn’t looking down on you right now, shaking her head. I bet it’s the opposite. She’s gotta be damn proud of you for figuring this all out. And for finally doing a few things for yourself.”
She pulls in another shaky breath. “I hope so.”
“Hey…” I turn her face back to mine and smile gently. “I’m proud of you, too.”
Her eyes glisten in the moonlight as she whispers, “Thank you. For that and for loving me despite my issues.”
I give a light laugh. “Your issues make you human, Sunny. And a pretty amazing one at that.”