Measuring Up Love

Chapter 11

M y alarm woke me at 6 a.m. – an hour later than usual, as I’d indulged in a lie-in for once. True to my word, I must have fallen asleep within a minute of closing my eyes because the last thing I remembered was the sceptical look on Adam’s face.

When I opened my eyes, I experienced a sense of déjà vu. In the dark, the silhouette of the hotel furniture looked almost exactly like it had that morning in Cardiff. This time, however, I was conscious of the presence of my bedtime companion as soon as my phone alarm started to beep.

Adam had wrapped his arm around my waist, and his manhood was hard against my thigh. Strangely, I enjoyed his closeness – I hadn’t been with a man for a long time. Actually, he was the last man I’d been with. However, I couldn’t even remember the intimate part of that night, so my most recent sexual encounter seemed much further in the past.

Common sense took over, and I tried to lift his arm off me and roll away. But I couldn’t. He held me too tight, like a child hugging his favourite teddy. I wasn’t a big fan of cuddling, and my previous bed partners hadn’t been interested in it either.

I started gently patting his arm. ‘Adam, wake up. Wake up.’

‘Huh, what? Oh, shit, sorry,’ he mumbled and quickly moved away.

‘Yeah, you crossed the line there.’

He sat up in the bed, yawning and rubbing his eyes. ‘Hold on a second,’ he cried. ‘I didn’t cross anything. Technically, I was still on my side, but you’d moved to the middle. ’

I climbed out of bed, stretching my arms. ‘We should get ready and have breakfast.’

‘I’m not much of a breakfast person,’ he said. ‘Unless, of course, I do a lot of exercise the night before…’

I rolled my eyes.

‘What?’ he asked. ‘I meant the gym. You have such a dirty mind.’

I ignored his comment and headed for the bathroom after making sure he didn’t need to use it first. This time I took a change of clothes with me.

When I came out, Adam rushed in and closed the door.

‘Sorry, I was bursting,’ he said when he reappeared a minute later, still in his underwear.

‘I did ask if you needed the bathroom first.’

‘But I didn’t expect you to try to grow old in there. And did you just have another shower? You had one right before going to bed. How did you get dirty overnight?’ he asked then slowly started smirking. ‘You can’t blame it on me; that’s all on you then.’

I let out a long sigh – I was dealing with a child again.

‘One’s skin still breathes overnight – you might call it sweating,’ I said. ‘Besides, there’s nothing better than a cold morning shower to refresh the skin and sharpen the senses.’

‘I call it wasting water.’

‘You should try it sometimes.’

He stepped closer to me and asked, ‘Are you saying I smell bad?’

I didn’t attempt sniffing him, but his scent still sneaked into my nostrils. He smelled manly but not in a musky way, the hint of some cool watery aftershave still recognisable from last night. It was too tempting to touch his firm, hairless chest. I backed away.

‘You do what you want,’ I told him, grabbing my handbag. ‘I’m going to have breakfast now.’

‘I’ll compromise on a quick wash if you wait for me.’

‘You really can’t bear the thought of doing anything without company, can you? It must be killing you not having a TLO to work with you. ’

‘Five minutes and I’ll be ready,’ he said then grabbed his clothes and disappeared into the bathroom again.

*

We looked like we’d dressed to match each other. Adam had put on navy suit trousers and a white shirt, but outside, it was too warm to wear a jacket – he still carried it on his arm. I wore navy trousers and a white short-sleeved blouse with gold and blue accessories that echoed the shades of his tie.

It was worth attending the conference – which was held in another nearby hotel – as we did come across some of the Brooks and O’Grady family members. We even bumped into Morris, who gave me his usual greeting. Unlike David, Adam seemed amused by my minute-long embrace with the large middle-aged man. He didn’t even attempt to hide his grin, as if he was watching a comedy scene. I was unsure why, but his reaction bothered me…

The day consisted of presentations on new construction methods and the latest updates on building regulations, all relevant to my role. However, I wasn’t paying much attention as I could only think about the work piling up on my desk in my absence. If only I had my laptop with me … During breaks, I logged into my work email account on my phone and made some calls to check on my surveyor team.

At one point, Adam followed me to a back corner of the buffet area and shook his head at me. ‘I should hide your phone,’ he said.

‘You will do no such thing.’

He flashed his playboy smile. ‘Okay, then I think it’s time for some selfies. Oh, stop with the murderous eyes – not that kind of selfie. Diane told me to take a few photos of us. She wants to include them in the next newsletter or post them somewhere.’

‘Right, let’s make it quick.’

We stood beside each other, and I tried to find a good angle to capture both of us from above .

‘Just give it to me,’ he said. ‘You’re struggling, and my arm is longer.’

I reluctantly passed him the phone, and he pulled me closer, grabbing my waist. I didn’t protest. Instead, I leaned against his shoulder so I wouldn’t block out the crowd behind us.

Now, it was another scent lingering in the air around him: a strong aromatic cologne I’d first noticed back in the hotel but found too overbearing at the time. Since then, however, it had transformed into a pleasant, sensual, woody fragrance. I was sure he didn’t normally wear cologne at work.

‘Look up and say cheese,’ he told me, pressing the large round button on the screen a few times. Then he sneakily slid my phone into his pocket.

‘Aha, so this is why you wanted to take the photos? Not funny. Give it back.’

Adam moved away from me. ‘I’d rather keep hold of this for now.’

‘No, you won’t.’

‘Evelyn, I dare you to survive the rest of the day without your phone.’

‘I’m not playing silly games. Give it back now,’ I demanded in a hushed voice, trying not to create a scene.

‘Why don’t you let your team get on without you for once? You might be surprised what they’re capable of.’

‘Are you saying I’m too controlling and a bad boss?’

The bastard! How dare he accuse me of such a thing?

When he opened his mouth again, he spoke calmly, almost whispering. ‘I’m just asking you to enjoy the event. It’s almost midday, and you haven’t taken your eyes off your phone. Frankly, it looks bad that you’re constantly on it and not engaging much with anyone. I thought the whole point of coming here was networking and learning something new – well, that’s what Diane told me. Look around. This place is squirming with big bosses from Brooks O’Grady and other important businesspeople. Do you really want them to think that you’re an unapproachable workaholic? Is that the impression you want to leave behind? You’re a commercial manager now – isn’t building relationships part of your role?’

‘I am engaging with people,’ I whispered back, feeling anger building in my veins.

‘You haven’t exchanged more than two sentences with anyone. I’m just trying to make you see what you’re doing.’

‘You’re in no position to lecture me.’

His expression hardened, and he reached into his pocket. ‘Here’s your phone then,’ he said, shoving it into my hand. ‘It all comes down to titles with you, doesn’t it?’

Then Adam turned away and hurried back towards the conference hall, leaving me wondering what the hell he’d meant by that.

*

When the presentations had ended for the day, I found Adam loitering just outside the foyer. I thought he perhaps wanted to apologise for snatching my phone and to ensure no harm came to me on the walk back to our hotel.

‘You shouldn’t have waited for me,’ I told him.

He gave me a cold-eyed stare. ‘You’ve got the room key.’

I quickly gathered there would be no apology from him, but I felt too tired to start another argument.

‘Listen, I don’t know what that was all about earlier, but can you please act civilised?’

He didn’t respond. His stern expression reminded me of the first working day of the year when I’d called him into my office to have a chat about us. Though there was no ‘us’.

I realised all my past efforts to keep him quiet may have been in vain. If he wanted to, he could still run off to HR to make a complaint or post incriminating stuff about me on the internet. Although we’d agreed he would, I had no proof that he’d deleted the selfies and the voice recording, and this wasn’t the right moment to enquire about it.

‘Can we please try to be friends?’ I asked .

‘ Friends ?’ You made it clear on our date in January that you wanted nothing from me. That the only thing we have in common is work, remember?’

‘It wasn’t a— Never mind.’

It was a weak attempt to tame the situation. I kept reminding myself that at least I already had my resignation letter ready to be sent off.

He finally decided to break the ice as we reached our hotel. ‘Alright.’

‘Alright what?’

‘I agree to this “friends” approach for now.’

I sighed with relief. ‘Good,’ I said. ‘Let’s get changed and grab dinner then. These heels are killing me.’

*

‘I thought you’d wait for me,’ Adam scolded as he joined me in the hotel restaurant.

‘I told you I was coming downstairs, but you probably didn’t hear me because you were singing in the shower,’ I said, recalling him imitating Adam Levine. We’d both agreed it was best to refresh before dinner, as it’d been sweltering, which was unusual for late April.

‘Have you ordered?’

‘Yep.’

‘Excuse me,’ he called to the waitress. ‘Can I please have what the lady’s having?’

‘Of course, sir.’

‘You don’t even know what I ordered,’ I said.

‘I’m not fussy. I just hope the portion is human- not bird-sized,’ he replied then turned back to the waitress. ‘And can I have a Guinness please?’

The young woman jotted it down then looked up, expecting more orders.

‘You’re not having one? Come on, friend – we aren’t at work. You’re allowed to relax,’ he said then addressed the waitress again. ‘ Will you get a glass of rosé for the lady?’

She nodded and rushed away.

‘I don’t want to drink alcohol. I’m happy with my water,’ I told him.

‘One glass.’

I gave in – there was no point arguing and angering him again.

‘How do you know I like rosé?’ I asked.

‘Because you made me buy a big bottle for you at M she was just the product of some tramadol mixed with alcohol.’

‘Why did you take tramadol?’

‘Because I hurt my arm at the gym the day before the party, and I was in a lot of pain.’

‘Why did you drink if you’d taken that?’

‘Because I didn’t know about the side effects. It wasn’t my medication, you see. Someone told me it was just a harmless painkiller.’ I decided to leave out that the person was Selena. Still, I was more upset with myself that I hadn’t checked the medical leaflet before accepting the pills. I should have contacted my GP for advice about the pain, but I’d been too busy with work, hence the fact I’d relied on someone else’s meds.

‘Hmm… I guess lesson learned,’ he said.

I nodded, glad the interrogation was over. ‘Yes, never take prescription medicine with alcohol, especially someone else’s.’

‘I meant no gym before going out.’

‘And that,’ I agreed. Then a nervous feeling developed in my stomach. ‘Wait, what did you mean about me opening up to you? What exactly did I tell you?’

‘You were talking about your family.’

Good Lord, here we go.

‘Go on,’ I prompted him.

‘You were telling me about your sister and your father.’

‘Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it.’

He looked at me with sympathy. ‘Don’t worry – I’m not going to pass it on, but I know how you feel. ’

I didn’t want him to pity me. He was the last person I’d trust with my life story. But not knowing how much I’d revealed, I had to be cautious and only said, ‘You do ?’

‘I have an older brother that I’m compared to all the time.’

Okay, it may not be too bad. Everyone moans about their siblings, don’t they?

‘It must be nice having a big family,’ I said with fake enthusiasm, thinking the exact opposite: that with lots of sisters and brothers around, one got even less attention from their parents, and there would be more sibling rivalry. ‘What does he do?’

‘Oh, James is a brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon. He finished top of his class and now works in a private hospital in Dubai, earning shitloads of money.’

Adam uttered the last bit in such a bitter way that I gathered money was a sensitive topic for him – but I didn’t catch the rest.

‘Was that in English? Come again, what type of surgeon?’

‘You know, heart, lungs, and similar,’ he explained. ‘That’s the extent of my knowledge of medical gibberish.’

‘Ah, okay.’ Mine was even less.

‘And, of course, he’s the better-looking one.’

‘Really?’ I asked, giving him a sideways glance. ‘I mean, you’re not bad yourself; though I guess it’s all subjective, isn’t it?’

He stopped and grabbed my elbow to slow me down too. ‘Hold on. You think I’m handsome?’

‘I mean, yeah.’ I shrugged, trying to brush it off. ‘You look a bit mysterious with those dark eyes, and you’re surprisingly tall for a Korean.’

‘Half Korean, half Irish. But keep going. This is good stuff, exactly what I like to hear: tall, handsome, mysterious… What else? I’m all ears.’

‘Shut up. You’re twisting my words.’

‘Hey, I’m not twisting anything, Boss Lady, and you know that.’ Adam put his hands on his hips, indicating he wasn’t going to move until he got what he wanted .

I took a deep breath and said, ‘Okay, fine: you have a nice face and obviously a good body because you spend so much time at the gym. Are you happy now? Can we please move on?’

‘So, let’s recap: tall, handsome, mysterious, nice face, good body,’ he said, counting them off on his fingers. ‘Is that really what you think of me?’

‘Well, I guess if you put it like that…’ I replied and shifted from one leg to the other. ‘But you know this already… Please stop smirking.’

He laughed, making me feel all jittery. I’d never felt so uncomfortable in my life.

‘Oh my God, you’re blushing – I’ve never seen you blush.’

‘It’s the rosé,’ I said quickly. ‘Just let’s keep moving, shall we? Where are we anyway? I can’t see any buildings.’

He looked up, opening his arms wide with his palms facing up. ‘Isn’t this place like a piece of heaven? We’re in Angels’ Meadow.’

‘No, seriously, where are we?’

‘That’s the name of the park,’ he said. ‘It was above the gate where we entered. You missed it because you were too busy telling me how attractive you found me.’

‘You’re just making it up.’

‘I’m not. Get your Bible… erm… your phone out and check if you don’t believe me.’

I did look it up on Google.

‘Fine, you were right. Well, almost. It’s called Angel Meadows, not Angels’ Meadow.’

‘See? When have I ever lied to you?’ he asked.

‘But it looks nothing like heaven. It’s just some communal gardens. And it was a slum in the Victorian times,’ I read from my screen. ‘I think we should have gone the other way. I seem to remember a nice big church in that direction.’

‘You mean the cathedral?

‘Right, it’s still a church – I’m not big on architecture.’

‘But you work in construction,’ he noted, making my ignorance sound like a crime .

‘We renovate council houses not churches,’ I argued. ‘Maybe we should just go back to the hot—’

‘Come on – we only left like five minutes ago. At least let’s check out that church then.’

‘It’s still boiling; I need a drink first.’

‘The weather’s been like this for a week. Did you not pack some shorts or a skirt?’

‘I don’t wear shorts or a skirt at work.’

‘You’re technically not at work right now.’ He was trying to be clever again, but it didn’t suit him.

‘I meant on a work trip, and I didn’t expect to be doing any sightseeing.’

He pointed to a building with a tacky neon-blue sign across the road. ‘There’s a bar over there.’

‘I just need a soft drink.’

‘I’m sure they sell that too,’ he said, pulling me towards it. ‘Come on, Miss I-Don’t-Do-Any-Sightseeing.’

*

The bar was busier than I’d expected and more inviting and cosier than it looked from the outside. I settled in a booth while he went to order. It was pretty busy for a Wednesday, and Adam had to wait for quite a while to get served. When he returned, he was carrying two glasses, a tall and a shorter one, both filled with some dark liquid, and a plastic bottle of clear fluid under his arm. I snatched the bottle from him and gulped it all down.

‘Wow, you were really thirsty. How’s the headache?’

‘Better.’

‘Good,’ he said, sliding me the smaller glass. ‘Now you can have this. It’s been a long day. Come on – I know you want to. “To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.”’

I thought for a minute then asked, ‘Nietzsche?’

‘Mouse,’ he replied, raising his glass to his lips to take a mouthful .

‘I didn’t realise Mickey Mouse was this philosophical.’

Adam burst into laughter, almost spitting out his drink.

I didn’t get embarrassed easily, but being laughed at wasn’t something that happened to me a lot – or ever actually. People usually went quiet around me. The sound of his wholehearted laughter made me feel like a silly girl, out of control.

He eventually composed himself. ‘Not that mouse,’ he said, still chuckling. ‘The character Mouse from The Matrix .’

‘I don’t know who you’re talking about.’

‘The young skinny guy on the ship,’ he explained.

‘I’ve never seen the whole film.’

He looked at me like a child who’d just realised Santa didn’t exist. ‘You’ve never seen The Matrix ? Are you serious? It’s a classic. What planet are you from?’

‘I’ve seen bits of it but never from start to finish. I’m too busy to watch films.’ I poked the glass in front of me. ‘What’s this?’

‘Malibu and Coke,’ he said. ‘You can’t come to a bar and drink only water.’

‘You know you can be quite pushy.’

‘Well, I haven’t made you hop on a train to another country yet, have I?’

‘Touché,’ I said and took a sip of the drink. It felt cooler and more refreshing than the water, and I enjoyed the sweet taste settling on my tongue. ‘How did you know I liked Malibu and Coke?’

‘Once you finished the rosé on the train, you made me get you two cans of Malibu and Coke from the bar.’

‘Why did you let me keep drinking?’ I asked, resting my elbow on the table and propping my chin on my hand.

Adam broke into a smile and mirrored my position. ‘I’d never seen a woman drink so much before,’ he said. ‘Frankly, it was fun to watch. I wanted to see how long you could last.’

‘Thanks.’

‘No, seriously, I tried to tell you to stop, but you kept threatening that you’d get me fired if I didn’t get you what you wanted. ’

‘And you believed it? Why?’

‘Well, I’ve seen how you are with your subordinates. You can be pretty scary. All the subcontractors and even the clients seem intimidated by you.’

Sipping on my drink, I thought for a second and said, ‘That doesn’t sound great, does it? I don’t want people to be scared of me. I just want respect.’

‘Oh, I’m sure you get that as well… It’s just the way you are at work. Not many seem to know the real you.’

‘You keep referring to the “real” me, but there is only one me.’

He threw me a sceptical look then busied himself studying my face. ‘Hmm, I’m sure you could relax more without those things in your hair – may I?’

Before I could protest, he reached behind my head and gently removed the two large hairpins holding my neat bun together.

I ran my fingers through my hair. It was long and naturally straight but now felt wavy after being twisted into a bun all day.

‘That’s much better – you look beautiful with your hair down.’

The temperature had risen in the room, and my cheeks started to feel hot again.

‘Thank you… I guess,’ I said, straightening up in my seat.

He played with the hairpins as if trying to pierce his fingertips, and when he almost did, he laid them in the middle of the table.

‘These things look dangerous,’ he said. ‘They’re sharper than knitting needles.’

‘Don’t tell me you know how to knit.’

‘What can I say? You’re looking at a man of multiple talents.’

‘No way.’

‘My nan taught me when I was, like, ten. I haven’t knitted for a long time, but I think I could still manage a scarf or a headband. ’

‘How old are you?’ I asked, trying to spot any signs of wrinkles.

He leaned forward again, gazing at me. His pupils were so dilated his eyes looked entirely black. ‘Let me give you a real riddle,’ he said. ‘Three times as much as I was then and add one-fifth.’ Satisfied, he sat back, crossing his arms. ‘You’re good at maths – work it out.’

‘Thirty-six?’ I was surprised because he didn’t look older than me.

‘Nah, thirty-two,’ he replied, sounding hurt. ‘You’re not that good at basic maths for someone who works with numbers all day.’

I laughed. ‘Oh, I’m good! Three times ten is thirty, and one-fifth of thirty is six.’

‘I meant one-fifth of ten.’

‘Then next time make the riddle clearer.’

‘So there’s going to be a next time?’ he asked cheerfully.

I hated that his smile made him look even younger. It reminded me of the morning in Cardiff when he’d been sleeping peacefully, looking all innocent, like a child who couldn’t count to two. But of course he was anything but that.

‘Next time for what?’

He drew up then dropped his shoulders slowly, still maintaining that boyish expression. ‘I don’t know… You said it.’

‘Never mind. But make me a scarf then. I’ll believe you can knit when I see it.’

‘Yes, mein Führer ,’ he told me, saluting. ‘I’ll take that as a challenge, but I’m still waiting for the magic word.’

‘Make me one, or I’ll get you fired.’

He laughed. ‘No, the other one.’

‘Pleeaase,’ I added, trying to open my eyes extra wide to imitate the cat from Shrek . I’d seen the movie as a child (back when I had free time).

‘You see, you can relax,’ said Adam. ‘That Malibu and Coke didn’t last long. Are you still feeling alright, or would you like more water? ’

I looked at my watch. ‘I’m fine, but we should head back now.’

‘But we haven’t even seen the cathedral.’

‘Maybe another time.’

‘Okay, Boss Lady,’ he said, quickly finishing his drink.

‘Don’t call me that.’

He frowned and smiled. ‘But you’re a boss and a lady.’

‘But it sounds so dirty when you say it.’

‘Maybe I want it to sound dirty,’ he replied, but he did so with such a childishly innocent expression. Again, it was hard to take him seriously.

‘Enough – you’re pushing it again.’

I thought if he carried on like this, soon it would be me going to HR with a complaint. Not that I wanted to risk everything about us coming out in the wash. One could never fully trust a colleague, but the more time I spent with him, the less likely it seemed he’d reveal anything about us.

So far, no one had looked at me funny in the office or let slip any suggestive comments, so I was fairly sure Adam had kept quiet about Cardiff. He just seemed like a big kid, yet I knew he could act like a responsible adult if he wanted to. In the past few months, he’d proved a real asset to our team, and losing him would have been a shame.