Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Spencer
What the hell am I doing? This felt like a good idea for all of five minutes.
The mug of coffee in my hands now feels like a lead weight and if my best friend’s husband wasn’t a literal psycho, I would have some strong words for her.
It was Mac who sent me up here, declaring Grinder would want his coffee hot.
The moment I crossed the threshold of his bedroom, the steam from the bathroom drew me in and here I am, perving over the man of my nightmares—because dreams are too mushy for Grinder.
It’s not like I’ve never seen his cock before because he has it out at every given opportunity…
inside and outside of the clubhouse. But the sound of my name coming from his plush lips as he slowly glides his hand up and down his pierced cock feels like honey.
The words just slip from my mouth. “Need some help with that?”
At my voice, he turns his body toward me, his deep-blue eyes connecting with mine as strings of cum spurt from the end of his cock, covering his hand and the floor tiles.
It’s a whole moment that feels like it could go on forever, only prolonged when he starts laughing.
I love when he laughs. It’s infectious as much as it’s addictive.
“Not anymore, but you can lick up my cum and call it a good deed.”
And it’s like a switch has been flipped, throwing me back into the reality where Grinder would break my heart if I let him.
“Lick it up yourself, Grinder. I’m just here to bring your coffee.” I hold it up and feel as dumb as Baby from Dirty Dancing carrying a freaking watermelon. I’m trying really hard not to roll my eyes at myself but I fear I’m failing when Grinder laughs again.
“Not what you said a minute ago.” He steps out of the shower, not a hint of shyness. Everything is out there for all to see, and boy do I see. My face is heating up and my heart is ready to beat out of my chest.
He is a vision in all his naked glory.
“Well, I had a momentary brain aneurysm. See you downstairs.” Turning, I head into the bedroom with a very wet Grinder following behind me, and as I reach the main door, I hesitate.
Why don’t I just go for it?
You know why, Spencer.
Sighing, I continue out the door.
“Doc!”
I stop at the sound of my nickname and twist my head, my eyebrows raised and my lips pursed.
“Coffee?” He grins and eyes the mug in my hands, swinging on the door frame—still completely naked.
“Come and get it if you want it that badly.” I regret my words almost instantly when he starts stalking toward me like a man on a mission. His cock is standing to attention as he gets closer and I struggle to lift my eyes to his instead of ogling him like a horny teenager.
I’m a couple of inches taller and, like this, with him looking up at me…my will is cracking like a whip in a whore house.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Doc.” He licks the side of my face as he grips the mug in my hands. “Because I’m ready to take you at your word.”
I thought he was going to walk away but, instead, he presses his nose against mine and I breathe him in. Minty toothpaste and the unmistakable scent of leather that clings to him even when he’s fresh out of the shower.
“Like this.” He catches my bottom lip between his teeth and pulls but it doesn’t hurt.
My breath catches in my throat and I freeze as I watch him watching me for my reaction. Then he lets my lip free almost as quickly as he captured it and pushes me against the wall, his palms on my chest. The coffee is forgotten, the contents splashing over the floor as the mug lands with a thud.
All the air is sucked from my lungs when his lips land on mine and he immediately demands entrance with his tongue. The reality switch has been turned off and lust is in complete control as I reach my hands up and palm the sides of his face, holding him in position as he grinds up against me.
He reaches down and cups my balls, rolling them with his fingers and making me jerk forward with the action. The feel of his cock against my thigh makes me breathe heavily into his mouth, the pure ecstasy of this moment exactly as I imagined and more.
We kiss like teenagers, hands touching and squeezing, mouths locked, tongues twisted…
“It’s too early to see your naked ass, Grinder.”
The voice coming from down the corridor makes that switch flip back on again and I raise my head, breaking our kiss so I can breathe real air again, and my hands slide down to his chest to push him away.
He doesn’t get the hint…he’s kissing and sucking on my neck, biting at my collar bone, all while still rolling my balls, and if I don’t stop this now, I never will.
“I can’t do this.” Finding some strength from my reserves, I break away from him and shake myself out of it.
Grinder’s deep-blue gaze connects with mine and his brows furrow in confusion, then hurt, then a sadness that makes me feel things I can’t with him.
He’s usually really good at taking rejection, happy to move straight along to the next person in his little fuck train, so this look isn’t one I have seen often.
I don’t like it.
“Okay, but I promise you, you’ll give in to me eventually, Doc. And I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” The brief sadness and hurt is quickly transformed into a mischievous grin that I am much more familiar with, and now I don’t feel so bad about walking away.
Because I have to walk away.
Having Grinder’s naked body grinding against me is not something I can ever get used to.
“Fucking cock block, Boner!” The rest of Grinder’s rant at his best friend is lost to my own inner thoughts because, damn, that felt so good.
I head down the corridor and toward the stairs in a lusty daze.
Would I have allowed that to go any further if Boner didn’t interrupt?
Even if he wasn’t the biggest cum slut in history, could I truly see myself with a man that crazy?
I mean, my best friend captured, tortured, and eventually killed her own brother while I made her sandwiches…
in my inherited old cabin. And I wouldn’t change her for the world, so yeah, I could absolutely see myself with a man like Grinder.
But would it last? Could I really tread the line of justice with my job, with my training to be a full-on doctor, alongside a lawbreaker who finds killing fun?
Since Steve was murdered, over a year ago now, this place has become more of a home to me than my actual house. These people have become my family. So, again, yeah, I could and am easily treading the line.
“What’s eating your ass, Holt?”
I snap my gaze toward Kincaid, one of the club prospects, sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
She’s another wild one and, at this point, I’m basically building my own collection of crazies because I love her as much as I love Mac.
There’s never any bullshit with this woman, always complete and total honesty, and she’s got a voice worthy of the greats.
Duetting with her at karaoke last New Year’s Eve solidified our friendship.
“More like what isn’t eating it.” I sigh and give her a tight smile.
“Grinder?” She leans back against the wall and blows a stray blue hair from her face.
“Am I that obvious?” I sit down beside her as she nods knowingly. “What’re you sitting here for, anyway? Breakfast is ready.” I gesture with my head toward the clubhouse area before my gaze lands on a piece of paper sitting at her feet. “Something to do with that?”
For the first time since I’ve known her, Kincaid is at a loss for words as she just stares at me, her black pupils barely discernable with how dark her brown eyes are. She lifts her chin and clenches her jaw, her chest rising and falling so heavily it’s visible.
“Caidy, what’s wrong?”
This beautiful woman covered in tattoos and piercings, fierce beyond compare, who would scare away the toughest of men, is not okay.
If this were Mac, I would have her in my arms already, squeezing her, holding her, and demanding she share her pain with me, but this isn’t Mac.
Kincaid Ford does not show emotion. She does not hug, and she definitely does not share her pain.
I watch as she swallows before clearing her throat, trying my best to keep the concern from my face and not offer her physical support. It’s not her love language and I respect that.
“I have a date for my surgery.” Picking up the letter, she waves it around like a prize before handing it to me.
“Did you have an accident and break a bone or something?” Only, as I’m saying the words, I know it can’t be true because that wouldn’t affect her like this.
Dipping her chin, she glares at me as if to tell me that was a dumb question. There she is.
I open up the letter and bring my eyes down to read it, understanding washing over me immediately. I really want to hug her right now. It takes me a few moments before I can look at her again because I need to gather myself and I know for a fact that she doesn’t want my pity.
Nodding, I bring my eyes back to hers. “Okay. I’ll make sure I have the day off. I’ll take you and bring you back again afterward. Who else knows?”
For a brief moment, a very small smile tips the corners of her lips and I can see the words “Thank you” are on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she exhales deeply, as if she had been holding her breath.
“Nobody. I don’t want them to see me as weak or give me special treatment. I’m a prospect. I have to earn my place and I can’t do that if they know.” She shrugs as though it’s no big deal, and I’m positive that’s the most sentences in a row she has ever strung together.
“Caidy, breast cancer isn’t you being weak.
If anything, it’ll make you stronger because it takes more than a physical toll on you.
” I would know, my mom had it when I was seven, but she didn’t catch hers in time, which is how I came to be brought up by my gran.
“You can’t brush over living through something like that so lightly.
But if you want to keep it a secret, I’ll help.
” Of course I will. Although, it’ll be difficult to keep this from Mac with her nosey tendencies.
“You can stay at my place for a couple of weeks after the surgery. And have sleepovers when you have chemo.”
She huffs a laugh. “You scold me then offer to be my accomplice. And this is why we’re friends.
” She lowers her eyes to her hands resting on her knees.
“I’ll tell Prez.” Lifting her head, she sets her gaze on me again with a stare that could kill.
“But don’t you fucking dare tell Mac or I’ll put your balls on a string and give it to Pepper.
She can’t keep a secret from her husband to save her life, then it’ll spread like wildfire. ”
“Yes, ma’am.” I chuckle, only half taking her threat seriously because I don’t doubt her capability of following through. “Breakfast?”
“Grits?”
We both stand.
“Yup. And Sledge’s new sister’s here, so we have some morning entertainment too.”