Chapter Seventeen
Spencer
It’s never a dull day in the world of the Sons of Khaos.
Before Mac shacked up with their Enforcer, I spent my days working, fucking, or plotting ways to help Mac escape her now-no-longer-with-us, deadbeat, rapey older brother with daddy issues.
The last few years have changed the both of us and Mac is now like some reborn, amazingly confident version of her old self.
Whereas I seem to have become some regressed version of what I want to be.
Meaning that the person I strive to be is trying to break through, but I’m holding myself back for I-don’t-know-what reasons right now.
It’s not like I have any control over it, either.
In a past life, I would have taken Grinder up on his many offers of sexual activities with not a care in the world.
No expectations. No real wants or needs other than to blow my load with someone.
But now I want more than that. Hell, I deserve more than that.
I’m finally on my path to become a full-on doctor, and shacking up with an outlaw doesn’t exactly scream credible.
However, I also really want Grinder. Therein, I think, lies one of my problems. I want it all.
I know I’m capable of breaking the rules after what happened with Mac, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat if she asked. I’d also do it for Grinder…and that’s something I’ve thought far too much about. Risking my entire life, my career for him…and he isn’t even my boyfriend.
He’s dangerous for many many reasons.
Red flags are afraid of him. He is the quintessential bad boy who will fuck anyone and anything—although, he draws the line at beastiality.
The trouble is, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get him out of my mind. And now I have no doubt that he has found his old lady in Parker, so I’m going to have to start spending a lot less time around these bikers. I’ll only visit Mac and Gryff at her house, rather than the club headquarters…
Who am I kidding?
Today—or yesterday or whatever the hell day it is, considering it’s currently the early hours of the morning—is my day off, and I have spent all of it trying to busy myself and avoid the clubhouse after the surprise visit from Grinder at Mac’s.
I started by sleeping in until ten, took a long shower, tried one of Mac’s—non-poisonous—cupcake recipes, and spent thirty minutes brushing Pepper.
Sitting on my kitchen worktop are now too many cupcakes for one person to eat, three sweet potato pies, and all of my sanity because it took everything in me to not go to that damn clubhouse.
Only to get pulled back in with a call from Mac to ask me to come and make sure Kirsty is okay because shit is going down.
Gryff is teething or she would have come herself… yeah, sure.
There was a brief moment—or the whole journey here—where I worried something might happen to Grinder.
He’s no stranger to a few months in jail or the hospital, literally could go either way.
Then I saw him standing by Vanessa’s truck and my heart immediately settled as relief flooded my senses.
Of course, he was with Parker, and they were both called away by the club prez.
So, here I am, sitting on Maribel’s couch with Kirsty as the club prospects, Kincaid and Jonesy, scrub the hardwood floor. The majority of the cleanup has already been done, we’re on our third cup of warm milk, and I don’t know about Kirsty, but I’m ready for bed.
“Thank you for staying with me, Spencer. I think I’m ready to go back to bed now. I’ll be okay.” Kirsty places her now-empty cup down onto the coffee table in front of us and takes a deep breath.
“I know you will. And I just came for the biker eye candy.” I grin, and a smile really is infectious because Kirsty’s lips tilt up. Finally.
A couple of months ago, Salem and I found her after a 9-1-1 call had been made by a neighbor.
They had heard screaming and banging, and they were right to pick up the phone because Kirsty was in a bad way when we arrived.
Apparently, she had rolled her boyfriend’s socks up wrong, therefore requiring a beating.
If I didn’t already know that Maribel has given the SOK guys all the information Kirsty has divulged about him, then I would have pushed for it myself because men like that deserve to die.
Extreme? Yes. But so are my friends.
Psycho told Mac that they had a lead on the deadbeat, so he will likely be paying a visit to the morgue very soon and I’m not sad about that.
It’s nice to see Kirsty beginning to come out of her shell. Although, this evening’s events have definitely shaken her up. At least she isn’t trembling anymore and the color has returned to her face.
“Well, biker eye candy or not. Thank you.” She looks a lot younger when she smiles, like the weight of her past isn’t pushing her down quite so much.
“Anytime. Sleep well.” I don’t remind her that she has my number and knows where I am because she doesn’t need a broken record and pity. She simply needs friends, people who are there for her if she calls.
As if she knows my last thought, her smile remains as she nods. It’s barely perceptible to the human eye, but it’s there, and she stands without another word before heading toward her bedroom.
“Someone’s waiting outside for you, Spencer.” Maribel comes and sits beside me, perched on the edge of the sofa. Her grin is about as wide as ever and I frown. Her house was just violated…
“Why does it seem like you’re really happy about that?”
She shrugs. “Is it finally happening?” Her excitement is beginning to rub off on me, but I have no idea why.
I’m still confused as hell.
“Is what happening? What’s going on Maribel? Who’s outside?” My only guess is that it’s a man because other than me—and Jonesy while he and Kincaid clean—Maribel has a curfew for men in this house.
“You and Grinder. I see the way you two look at each other. And I know he has a reputation, but they’re all good boys, really.
” The sun shines out of the SOK asses for Maribel, and I don’t blame her.
Despite the bullshit that surrounds them and the illegal shit I choose to ignore, she’s right.
The Sons of Khaos all have hearts of gold wrapped in barbed wire and electric fencing.
My own heart…? It skips a beat at the idea of Grinder waiting outside for me, but he left with Parker ages ago so it won’t be him. Color me intrigued, though. I have no clue where Maribel is going with this.
“He’s one kidnapping away from naming Parker his old lady.” I huff a laugh. “But a man can dream, right? Come on, who’s outside?”
“I just told you…Grinder. He’s been there for about an hour, but I didn’t want to rush you with Kirsty.” If anyone comes above the SOK guys for Maribel, it’s the women she protects in this house.
I can’t help the way my heart leaps into my throat and I don’t know why.
This thing with me and Grinder feels like it’s ramped up eleven notches since Parker showed up.
The fleeting glances, the occasional flirts that lead nowhere, it’s been enough…
until now. Because I know I can’t have him anymore.
The option of Grinder for me is being removed from the table.
I don’t think he’s even looked at one of the Khunts since she arrived.
“It’s three in the morning and he’s been standing outside for an hour?” I’m debating leaving him there for a little longer, but my body isn’t on board with that plan because I’m already on my feet.
“He has. Here,” she holds out her hand for the cup I’m still gripping onto. “I’ll clear this away. Jonesy and Kincaid are asleep in the spare room, so I’ll lock up behind you. Oh, hang on.” She shoves a hand into her back pocket and pulls out a key. “Can you give this to Parker?”
“Sure. Thanks, Maribel.”
She busies herself grabbing Kirsty’s empty cup and heading toward the kitchen while I absentmindedly walk toward the front door, grabbing my car keys from the hook on my way past.
“They say good things come for those who wait.” And there he is. The object of my fantasies, the man, the myth, the Grinder of my heart. Leaning against his motorcycle in his full-on leathers, his arm hooked through his helmet, and his trademark mischievous grin, he is the epitome of bad boy biker.
“The phrase is good things come to those who wait.” I stand a few feet away from him on the curb and fold my arms across my chest. “Where’s Parker?”
“At the clubhouse having a secret meeting with her brother and the prez. You don’t wanna know why I’m here?” His unmoving smirk, somehow, becomes almost feral as his eyes trail the length of my body.
Of course I want to know why he’s here, but instead of admitting that, I shrug.
“You always do what you wanna do, Grinder.” It’s as close to nonchalant as I’m getting because a brief flash of how I felt earlier comes back to me.
“Not always.” His eyes lower to my crotch then back up to my face.
“You know why we won’t happen.” Again, my mind and my mouth are at peace with each other, but my body? Well, my dick is definitely having a reaction.
“And you know it’s just a matter of time. I was thinking tonight? We’re both awake, maybe we catch the sunrise together by the beach?”
Controlling my laughter is impossible. “Did that really just come out of your mouth? You want to watch the sunrise together?”
“Love it when you laugh.” Closing the short distance between us with a few strides, Grinder grips my chin and brings his face inches from mine.
“I said catch, and nothing’s coming out of my mouth, but you can come in it.
” He licks the tip of my nose, slowly, curling his tongue back into his mouth as we make eye contact.
His body is pressed up against my folded arms, which by some miracle are the only things keeping our dicks from sliding together.
“I should go. It’s late and I need to sleep.” My attempt to turn around, free myself from his grip, doesn’t go as planned.