Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Spencer
It’s been three months since Parker and Grinder sat me down and told me she’d killed Bryson.
As luck would have it, it was also around that time that I’d decided on a date for my MCATs and I’ve been singularly focused on passing them.
My life has pretty much been work, study, and spending small increments of time with Grinder and Parker, either at the beach or in the compound chilling out.
The problem is that within those moments together, usually sexed up or watching a movie, I have this tension inside me.
I’m not na?ve and I know damn well what everyone in this club is capable of doing in order to keep each other—keep us—safe, but the Bryson situation could have been dealt with differently. He was my colleague, and for the better part of a year, a good guy always ready to help out.
To be honest, in this scenario, I’m the bad guy.
I stole the rig and clearly didn’t know what I was doing because he may have seen something.
What? I’ll never know. Or if he even saw anything.
Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Although.
keeping secrets in this lifestyle is the best way to end up in jail or the morgue. Neither sounds appealing.
As I walk out of the exam center, a new future in perspective, I decide that what’s done is done and as far as I can tell, no one is worried or suspicious about Bryson’s disappearance.
In fact, at the firehouse, we—they—often mention him with fondness and hope he’s having the best time in Australia.
I mean, he is down under, just not in the way they think.
Good God, that sounds awful, and yet here I am, chuckling at this newfound dark humor. Maybe I’m growing numb to this world. Or maybe I’ve accepted that the safety of the club and its members is greater than anyone else who seeks to harm it.
Or maybe I’m losing my damn mind and being in this place goes against everything they’ll teach me in med school.
The problem, however, is that I love them.
Grinder, with my entire body and soul, and Parker with my mind and all the warm and fuzzy feelings inside.
Everything she does comes from a good place when it concerns us and I can’t lose track of that.
Our happiness and completion only works if we’re together.
Grinder and Parker, alone, would burn out faster than a line of powdered metals and explode into thin air.
With only me, Grinder would get bored, eventually.
I can’t give him the adrenaline rush he seeks, which is essential to his balance.
And, for obvious reasons, Parker and I wouldn't be anything more than emotionally attached, which is another way of saying we'd be friends.
Together, however, we’re a bonded unit and I need to step out of my discomfort and accept my fate.
At the end of the day, I want to be with them and that’s all there is to it.
Confident that I pretty much aced this exam, I slide into my car and put my key in the ignition, turning just enough to roll the windows down.
Then I stop, staring out the window at the endless rows of cars on Rockford Beach University’s main parking lot.
It’s hot as Hell out here, even at five in the evening, but with the middle of summer comes the inevitable lazy breeze from the ocean.
Not that it helps when I’m sitting here roasting in my little red Honda.
This is the first time I’ve not only been physically off work, but also mentally available. I need to breathe in, breathe out, and dive head first into this relationship, because no matter how hard I try to fight it, our story is inevitable and I’m not mad about it.
Just as I turn the engine over, the distinct rumbling of a high octane motorcycle fills my ears. But when I look, I see two of them. The second bike I don’t recognize, but as soon as the neon-pink helmet with blue undertones comes into view, I know it’s Parker.
Well, shit, looks like I’m not the only one celebrating an event.
“‘Sup, love of my life?” I know he’s always said it, but truly, this man has no filter or boundaries when it comes to love.
Or anything, really. He doesn’t worry about what people would think or if he’s being a little extra.
He is, of course, all the fucking time, but it’s so him that I can’t imagine it any other way.
“Our little dolphin got her motorcycle endorsement. Follow us, I’ve got a surprise for you both.
” Before I can answer or ask any questions, he’s off, but pulls over to the side when he sees that Parker isn’t right behind him.
Instead, she stops in front of my car window and pops open her visor. “You okay?”
She sounds vulnerable, and it occurs to me that she’s been this way for the last three months, I was just so consumed by my studying that I missed it.
“Yeah, I’m good. Congratulations.” I lift my chin, signaling her bike, our eyes locked in.
“Thanks. You too.” I shrug at her words because I could be way off and failed my MCATs completely.
“Parker?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you. You know I get it, right? It was just…unexpected.” She knows exactly what I’m talking about because the only obstacle between us is Bryson’s murder.
“Oh, thank fuck!” Then, in a move that is so incredibly Parker, she pops the kickstand and jumps off the bike.
In a flash, her helmet is gone and her head is inside my car window with her arms wrapped around my neck.
“I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, Spenny.
It throws my whole aura off and I feel like a part of me is missing and then I want to do stupid shit because I over compensate.
When really, I just need you to love me. ”
I hug her right back, although breathing is complicated with her cutting off my airways.
“I’m good, we’re good. Great, actually.”
When she releases me, she gives me a big, loud kiss on the lips, then pops the top half of her body back out of the car.
“Okay, let’s go. Diego has a surprise for us and I looooove surprises!” Yes, yes she does. I’m guessing this impromptu reconnecting in the campus parking lot wasn’t in her cards when she woke up this morning, either.
Now, let’s see what trouble our crazy dolphin is getting us into.
“Um, no.” Just so they’re clear with my answer, I make a slashing movement across the air.
“Yes, Spenny. There’s no ‘no’ in throuple.” Funny girl.
“All for dolphins, and dolphins for all.”
I shake my head at Grinder because that makes absolutely no sense.
Wait, actually, it kinda does.
No. Absolutely not. This isn’t happening.
“This is happening,” she says as if she can actually hear my thoughts. “Come on! It’s a great idea!” It really, really, is not.
“‘Sup, brother? Y’all ready to do this?” Shade is sitting on a stool, sterilizing his work station, all his tools laid out like a surgeon’s mayo tray.
“You’re in on this?” Parker’s mouth drops, the shock in her eyes clear as day. “How did I not notice?”
“Girl, when you’re in the zone, a fanfare of wild, buck naked dudes could walk by and you’d ignore them.” We all think on that visual and it occurs to me that Shade is on point. When Parker is tuned in, she’s one hundred percent unshakeable.
“Can’t deny that.” She shrugs and walks over to the tablet where a drawing is laid out on the screen, ready to be used. On us, apparently. “Oh, Shade, that’s fuckin’ tight!”
Looking over her shoulder, I tilt my head to one side, then the other, appraising the design and visualizing it sitting on my body somewhere, permanently, forever and ever, until my skin deteriorates after my death.
“Huh.” It’s all I’ve got.
“That sounds an awful lot like ‘fuck yeah, we’re doin’ this!’”
I don’t even bother rolling my eyes at Grinder, it’s a wasted effort.
“I think Spenny’s on board. He hasn’t protested in nearly thirty seconds.”
I’m surrounded by smart asses.
“To be clear: no consent, no tattoo. I don’t need no lawsuit on my back.” Turning to Shade, I narrow my eyes, hoping my face says what the fuck as clearly as I’m feeling it.
“Easy, Doc. These two troublemakers are rubbin’ off on you.”
“Apparently so. All right, fine. Let’s do this.” My consent inevitably brings us to a circle of jumping and hugging, which leads to kissing, and soon Grinder’s hand is down my pants.
“Y’all fuckers can get naked when I’m done, but not while I’m here.”
My grin is more about being nervous than uncomfortable. Our sex life is an open book to the club since Grinder is incapable of filtering his thoughts. When he says he’s an open book, he’s not exaggerating, but we’re okay with that. It’s one of the things we love most about him.
“Cross my heart, no fuckin’ ‘til we’re branded.”
Parker jumps up and down, clapping her hands, clearly on board with Grinder’s promise.
“Can we not call it a branding? It sounds a bit too…” I can’t find the word that describes it without hurting Grinder’s feelings.
“Neanderthal?” Shade says without moving his gaze from the tablet.
“Yes, that. We’re getting matching tattoos, not branding ourselves.” Right? There’s a distinct difference.
“To-mayto, to-ketchup.” This is why we need to be three. There has to be room for the voice of reason.
Almost four hours later, we’re all looking in the mirror at our new tattoos.
“Never thought I’d lose my virginity again.” Parker breaks the silence like only she can, using humor to dissipate the heaviness of the moment.
“Same. Kinda feels nice, though.” I mean, I just had a needle poking me for over an hour, again and again. The fact I don’t feel like swiss cheese is reassuring.
“Well, fuck. Now I need to do something so I can lose my virginity, too.” Parker and I look at Grinder standing between us, his chest on full display.
I’ll never get over how stunning he is. When he turns his gaze on me, his eyes soften just a little.
Then he turns to Parker and I can feel the love growing even stronger between us, like the tattoo has some magical hold over this relationship.