Chapter 15 Lindsey #2
“I like you too.” It’s a big admission, one I can’t believe I’m making. I wait for the cloudiness to settle in. The inevitable sadness that follows the moments I’d give anything to be able to call and share with my dad. But this time, it doesn’t come.
“I wonder what song Ace would want as his lullaby,” Oliver says as he opens the passenger door to his truck for me after dinner. The buzz from the wine has faded, but I’m drunk on Oliver’s smile and the way his eyes almost disappear when he laughs.
“Well, ‘Purple Rain’ does have a track record of being pet-approved.” I grin, buckling my seat belt. There’s a cold, misty rain falling that makes the street lights reflect off the pavement. It’s the kind of weather that often causes me to have a flare, but even that can’t dampen my mood.
He chuckles as he climbs into the driver’s side. “I don’t think Ace is a Prince guy.”
“How do you know? Have you asked him?” The fun, playful side of me had come out of her hiding place, a little dusty from years of being hidden in the basement of my heart. I’m surprised at how quickly it comes back and how easy it is to be that version of myself with Oliver.
“This may come as a shock to you, but I haven’t.”
“He might like show tunes, for all you know.”
“Well, I don’t know any, so I’ll need you to come over and sing some to fully test that theory.
” He glances at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes before he pulls out of the lot and onto the road, Christmas music playing softly on the radio in the background.
“I think he’s probably more of a classic rock guy, though. Like ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’”
I give him a nod of approval. “Clearly, Ace has great taste.”
“He does,” Oliver agrees, tossing me a smile. “He did pick you as a vet, after all.”
“Did Ace pick me as a vet, or did you?” I tease.
“I guess we both have great taste, then.”
I’m thankful for the darkness that hides the flush of attraction that washes over me.
For a moment, I shift my gaze out the window, watching as the town’s Christmas lights pass us by, and I’m overcome with joy.
Too often I’m the one in the driver's seat, focused so intently on the next stop that I don’t get to enjoy how magical our small town looks after dark, wearing her holiday best.
The familiar notes of an old Ramones Christmas song pierces through the sounds of the windshield wipers as Oliver’s hand reaches for the dial.
I squeal. “Turn that up. I haven’t heard this in forever.”
He stops before touching the button and closes his hand into a fist before opening it again and raising the volume.
I tap my fingers against my knees to the beat. “I used to love this song. It’s one of the most underrated Christmas songs, if you ask me. Have you heard it before?”
His smile is replaced by a hardened jaw, and his Adam’s apple bobs before he responds.
“I have,” he answers. “It was, um…It was my wife’s favorite. Before she died.”
The admission knocks the wind out of me. Not because I’m upset—it would be ridiculous of me to think a man this wonderful had never loved or been loved before. Instead, I’m overcome with empathy.
“Oliver, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” I place my hand on his arm. “We can turn it off.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s a great song, and it’s tied to a lot of good memories for me. Sometimes that grief just hits you when you least expect it, you know?”
God, do I know.
I want to ask about her because I know how much talking about Dad helps me feel close to him still, but I don’t want to overstep.
“Do you…want to tell me about her?” I finally ask. “If you do, I’d love to listen.”
He sighs and gives me a faint smile. “Jess and I had just celebrated our fifth anniversary when she passed away four years ago.”
“How did you meet?”
“She was a bridesmaid at my buddy’s wedding, and I was the best man. I remember seeing her walk down the aisle with one of the other groomsmen, and I just knew she was someone I wanted to know.”
“Did you ask her out after that?”
“I didn’t, actually,” he admits, raking his teeth over his bottom lip.
“I was too shy. But then, as luck would have it, we both ended up at my friend’s house for a Super Bowl party a few months later.
And I wasn’t about to squander my second chance.
I asked her to dinner, and the rest was history.
” He clears his throat. “I’m sorry. Is it weird that I’m telling you this? ”
I shake my head. “Not at all. I asked. We all have a past, Oliver.”
He nods and pauses for a moment before continuing. “We were about to start trying for a family when we found out she had triple-negative breast cancer. But by the time the doctors discovered it, it was too late.”
“I’m so sorry.” I try to think of what to say next, and then I remember what makes me feel better when I miss my father—thinking about how he lived.
“What was she like?” I ask.
He peers at me, a question written in his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“I’d be honored to hear about her.”
He gazes ahead, lost in thought a moment before he answers. “She was a grilled cheese—warm and kind, and she always knew how to make everyone feel comfortable and at ease. And she was loud.”
I chuckle. “Okay, explain.”
His smile returns, making my chest squeeze. “Jess didn’t know how to do anything quietly. Every morning she’d hop out of bed, pots and pans clanging as she made breakfast, singing songs she’d made up about whatever mundane task she was doing. She used to sing to Ace when he was a pup too.”
“That’s absolutely precious,” I say, certain that if I’d known Jess, I would have liked her. But a small part of me does wonder how I could ever hope to live up to such a special person in his life. If we were together, would he always be left disappointed?
“She found joy in the simplest things, you know? And since she died, I’ve tried hard to do that too.”
“I think finding Ace’s lullaby is more important than ever,” I say with a chuckle, and after a beat, I add, “Have you dated anyone since?”
He nods. “About a year after Jess died, I started seeing someone. She wanted something serious, but at the time, I just didn’t want to be alone.
We dated for about six months until I broke it off.
I was nowhere near ready for a relationship, and it wasn’t right for me to keep going when I didn’t see a future with her.
I needed time to find myself again before I could even begin to think about getting back out there. ”
“Of course, you did. That’s understandable.”
“Okay, I’ve told you about my last relationship,” he says. “What was yours?”
I watch the raindrops dance along the windshield. Am I really going to get into this? Do I want to? He’s willing to be vulnerable, so I should be too.
“His name was Daniel,” I say. “We met at this networking event for young professionals in Nashville, back when I actually did that kind of thing. Honestly, we had a good relationship. He was…” I trail off, unwilling to lie and say he was great, but equally reluctant to tell him the truth.
“We were together almost two years, but we, um, broke up a few months after my dad passed.”
He turns to me, his brow creased. “Wait, he left you after you lost your dad?”
“No,” I say quickly. “No, I broke up with him. A relationship was just too much to handle after my dad died. Overnight, I lost my father and inherited the clinic. It was a lot to process at once.”
I leave out the rest of what happened, because it doesn’t matter anyway. It was still my choice, even if he ended up hurting me far more than I could have imagined.
He gives me a solemn nod of understanding. “Are you happy you were able to take over the business?”
“I am,” I say. “That business meant everything to my dad, and he meant everything to me. If I can be even half the vet he was, I’ll have succeeded.”
“You’re an excellent vet.” His lips stretch into a grin as he pulls into my mom’s driveway, parking behind my SUV. “In fact, I’ve heard you’re the best in town.”
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s easy to be the best when you’re the only one.”
“You’d be the best in any town.”
I lock eyes with him, and my heart beats wildly, like an erratic bird flapping its wings.
“I had a really great time tonight,” he says.
“Me too.”
“I’d like to do it again.”
“I would too.” I suck in a breath. “Actually, I’ll be at Mistletoe Fest on Saturday.
It’s the Christmas festival they have in town every year.
Lots of good food, karaoke, carnival games.
Lucy and Ben are going too. The whole gang.
Well, everyone except Mom.” My smile falters. “Would you…like to come with us?”
“I’d love to.” He’s close enough that I can smell his cologne.
Is he going to kiss me? Does my breath reek of garlic? I knew I should have grabbed a mint on the way out of the restaurant like Oliver did.
Before he can make a move, I reach for the handle. “I should probably go. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
“Right. Yes,” he says, popping open his door. “Let me get that for you.”
He helps me out of the car, and I pull my coat tighter around me before digging my keys out of my purse.
“Thank you again for tonight,” I say as he walks beside me to the front door. “I had fun.”
“Me too.” He nods as I shove the key into the lock. “Good night.”
“’Night,” I reply, but before I can open the door, he places a hand on it.
“Lindsey?”
I turn, and his eyes shimmer like two twinkling stars.
“Yes?” My voice is almost inaudible.
He steps closer and touches my cheek with his hand, stroking it with his thumb.
Longing rushes through me, taking down every single reservation and insecurity.
He leans in to me, and I’m lost in his gaze, drifting in space.
Our lips touch and stars glitter behind my eyes.
He tastes like peppermint and feels like everything I ever wanted.
For one single, perfect moment, I’m soaring high above the clouds.