Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
LILY
Well, that plan blew up in our faces. I wrap my arms around myself. Tristan is big mad at me. Not in the usual way, either. This is different. I could see a rage simmering underneath that he was trying to control.
Teddy jerks on my elbow, making me drop my folded arms. She grabs my hand. “Come on. We’re going to the vault.”
“Right now?” I’ve heard of the vault before, and there have been jokes; honestly, I didn’t know if it was a joke or if there really was one. With Teddy you never know.
“Yeppers. It’s my happy place.” She pulls me through the house, past the kitchen, down a hallway I haven’t explored. “You can even pet Reginald.”
“Who the hell is Reginald?” Does she have someone locked in her vault? Again, not fully shocked by this.
She doesn’t answer me. Instead, she punches a code into a wall panel, says, “Open sesame seed,” and the heavy door clicks open.
“You know it’s just open…” I trail off because it doesn’t matter and because the vault door is now all the way open and I can see inside. Holy Scrooge McDuck! A small laugh leaves me. I almost don’t believe my own eyes.
The vault is bigger than my bedroom at Tristan’s, which is saying a hell of a lot because that room was crazy big. It’s lined with shelves that hold pure chaos. Velvet crowns in pinks and gold. A gold bar sitting on a velvet pillow like it belongs in a museum.
On another side are first edition romance novels with covers featuring bare-chested pirates.
Antique handcuffs in a glass case. A single orchid under its own tiny grow light.
And in the corner, staring at me with glass eyes, is a taxidermic peacock.
I honestly cannot make this shit up. I blink a few times to make sure I’m seeing what I’m seeing.
“Was that ice cream laced with shrooms? And none of this is really here because all of it is crazy.”
“That’s Reginald,” Teddy says, hopping over to the bird, and she starts stroking his feathers. “Don’t be rude. Say hello.”
“Hey, Reginald,” I say because not saying hello to the peacock is not the hill I’m going to die on today. There are bigger birds to grill around here.
“He’s very comforting.” She moves to a mini fridge. “I’m excited about this part because I’ve never gotten to do it. Ready?” she asks, and I simply nod. “The emergency supplies.”
She opens the fridge to reveal champagne.
“I think I might actually need a glass at this point,” I say, elbowing Reginald. “You want one too?”
“Don’t be rude.” Teddy gives me a look. “He’s been sober for eight years.”
“When did he die?” I ask.
“Eight years ago.” The cork pops, and I scream when it flies over my head.
She pours it into two crystal flutes, handing me one. I don’t even know if I like champagne. Only one way to find out.
“To not dying,” Teddy says, raising her glass.
“Guess I’ll cheers to that.” We clink the glasses together and drink. The bubbles burn going down.
Teddy sinks onto a velvet settee that has no business being in a vault. I sit beside her. The champagne hits fast, probably because I haven’t eaten since breakfast, before I decided to flee my captor and nearly get kidnapped. What’s with all these men trying to steal me? I’m popular.
I stare at a painting hanging on the wall with a light over it. “Is that a…” I trail off.
“You’re not seeing it. It’s just an illusion. Because that painting burned up in a fire in 1912. So there’s no way I could have the original locked up in my vault.” Okay then. I jump over the subject of the easily million-dollar Baldwin painting.
“Did you see Tristan put a tracker on me?” I look down at myself. “He showed me on his phone, but where the hell is it?” I hold my arms out. I’m only in my clothes. I didn’t even take my phone with me.
“Gotta be in your clothes.”
“My clothes?”
“Don’t move.” I freeze, and Teddy starts copping feels all over me, making me laugh. She runs her finger along a seam of my sweatpants. “Feel it.”
“That crafty bastard.” I run my fingers over the spot, and you can barely feel it. “That’s illegal.” I should not be so impressed, but I am.
“Him tracking you or the painting?” Teddy refills my glass. “You beat that man with a stick of lumber.”
“Hey, you make it sound like you’re innocent. You keep tasing people.”
“Why does everyone throw that in my face?” She kicks off her shoes. “You saved us with construction debris.”
We laugh. It’s wrong; it’s hysterical; it’s the champagne. I drink more.
“I hate him,” I say. But my voice cracks.
“You want to fuck him.”
“That’s not—I don’t—” I stop. The vault is spinning slightly. “He tracked me like I’m property. He probably watched me shower. He definitely watched me sleep.”
“And?” Teddy is waiting for the bad part.
“And… I don’t know,” I huff, my mind going back to those big hands of his. I’m thinking about that knife leaving his fingers before I could blink. The way he moved, efficient and violent, and then looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
I wanted him to kiss me or something. Nope, nothing. Instead, he barely spoke, and when he did, it was only to tell me to go inside and that he’d see me tomorrow.
“Girl.” She hides her smiling mouth behind her glass, like it’s not clear.
“Don’t.”
“You want to fuck the man who probably bugged your underwear.”
I burst into laughter because it’s so ridiculous. It might be a little sweet too. Guess I’m crazy too.
I stand up too fast. The vault tilts.
“See if there are any more.”
I start stripping some of my clothes off to see if we can find more. I check the lining of the shirt, but it’s clean. Sneakers off. I shake them. “I think maybe that was the only one?” I’ll have to check my other clothes.
“What about...” Teddy’s eyes drop to my locket. The one my father gave me on my Sweet 16.
I pause, lifting it into my hands. My father gave it to me before he died. I never take it off.
My fingers find the clasp. It sticks, then opens. There is a picture of Dad and me. I look at the other side. I close one eye and see a glint. It’s small and metallic.
“Oh my God.” I hold it up. “He’s been in my locket. My father’s locket.” This man truly has no boundaries.
Teddy leans in, champagne forgotten. “That’s romantic. In a completely fucked way.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” I close my fist around it.
“Keep it?” Teddy asks.
“Keep it.” I fasten the locket back around my neck. Our laughter grows, the champagne bubbling between us. We forget about the two men that chased us down. What I don’t forget about is Tristan.
“Wait. We just had trauma, and they left us.”
“You’re right.” Teddy nods adamantly. “We could be up here crying for all they know.” I nod along with her.
“They don’t know we’re sipping champagne and hanging with Reginald.”
“Yeah.” Teddy reaches down beside her and comes up with a giant canister of cheese puff balls. “Open,” she orders, and I do. I finally catch one on the sixth try, crunching it between my teeth. “I’m amazing.”
“Not bad for being as old as Reginald.” She opens her own mouth, tipping the jar back. A few of the cheese balls land in her mouth, but more fall all around her.
“We should call Sasha.” I don’t know where the thought comes from, but it pops right into my head, sounding like the best idea I’ve ever had. I grin, evil and champagne-fuzzy.
“Tell her that her third nose job was too far.”
“Tell her we’re fucking Tristan in a vault full of gold. I’ll tell her both.”
“Yeah, you will,” Teddy encourages.
“Phone me,” I say, holding out my hand. I expect a cell phone, but she tells me she has to grab it.
She hops up and digs into a giant Chanel trunk.
I don’t even want to know how much that piece cost. A second later she comes up with a gold rotary phone.
The handset rests like a crown on its brass cradle, connected by a thick, coiled cord.
She sets it down between us with a mechanical click.
“The fuck am I going to do with that?”
“You wanted a phone.”
“That doesn’t even work.” A house phone has to like plug into a wall. I think. “Where is the other cord thing for the wall?”
“What year do you think it is? It’s wireless.” She picks up the phone and hands it to me.
“There’s a dial tone,” I say in shock.
It takes me a few times to finally get the right number.
“Hello?” Sasha answers, sugary sweet. I make a gagging motion.
“Hello, Sa-sha,” I snip into the phone.
“You,” she hisses. “What have you done to Tristan, you little fucking psycho?”
“Whoa, calm down,” I tell her. “I’ll tell you exactly what I did to him.” I keep my voice even, or I try to.
“Tell me, or I swear to—”
“I fucked him.” It pops right out. Teddy falls backwards laughing.
“He stalked her down, and she popped his cherry,” Teddy shouts in the background. “Come get your sloppy seconds, jerkface.”
I burst into uncontrollable laughter. At some point, we must end the call.
“She’s going to tell him,” Teddy gasps.
“Good.” I wipe my eyes. That man stalks me. I can tell his fan club to fuck off.
A knock sounds at the vault door. We freeze. Teddy shoves the champagne behind a crown.
“Don’t answer it,” I whisper.
She’s already punched the code. The door swings open.
Roland stands there in full butler regalia, straightening his jacket. “Good evening, ladies. I trust Reginald has been hospitable?”
“Roland.” Teddy waves. “We’re traumatized.”
“Clearly.” He nods at the peacock like they’re old friends.
“You’re done with the cleanup thing?” Teddy asks.
Roland adjusts his cuffs. “How long do you think such a simple task would take?”
“Yeah, same, me too,” I say.
“Yep, we can clean up bodies like this.” She snaps or tries to; no sound comes. “My fingers are broken.”
“What would you ladies prefer for dinner?”
“Where are the men?” I thought they were helping Roland.
“The gentlemen will be... occupied for some time.”
“Wait.” I sit up too fast. “What are they doing? Are they having a night out on the town?”
Roland smiles politely. “Gardening, miss. They’ll be along shortly.” He turns, pausing at the door. “Do let me know about dinner.” He closes the vault door behind him. We listen to his footsteps fade.
“Gardening?” Teddy repeats.
“Gardening,” I confirm.
We look at each other. At the empty champagne. At Reginald’s glassy eyes.
“They left us,” I say. “We have trauma. Actual trauma. And they’re... gardening.”
“Yeah! They could be trauma bonding with us,” Teddy adds.
“That’s what the kids call it these days?” I ask, reaching for the cheese puff balls. They’re gone too.
“Rude,” we say together.
Then we laugh, because what else is there to do?
I wipe cheese dust from my lips with the back of my hand and look at Teddy. “We should go see about this ‘gardening.’” I make air quotes.
Teddy blinks, then grins, adorably evil and reckless. “Grab a crown. We’re going in disguised.”
“What about the gold bar and those weird antique handcuffs?” I ask, standing. The vault sways, but I adjust. Nothing is going to stop me from going on this mission.
“Those aren’t my handcuffs.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Don’t frame Grams or Reginald for your kinks. Be open about them, Teddy. We live in a new, open sexual world nowadays.”
“Shh.” She covers Reginald’s ears. “You have to say ‘earmuffs’ so he knows not to listen.”
“Right, silly me.”
“Now, yes to the cuffs that aren’t mine.” I nod dramatically. “Reginald, you hold down the fort.”
I give him a mock salute, and we’re off on our next adventure.