Chapter 33
‘I thought you were going to let me know any exclusive news first?’
It was Teijo’s voice accosting Alyssa through her phone, which she had balanced on a pot of spiced apple jam as she made her toast. She was padding around her kitchen in The Cow Shed, wearing floral PJs with her hair in a towel, so at least it wasn’t a video call.
She’d been adding a few bits to the old barn lately, to make the place more homely and for a better backdrop for Instagram pics.
A few fake plants, so she didn’t have to commit to watering.
Some artfully positioned books to make the shelf less naked, though she still preferred a trashy magazine.
Even a designer mouse habitat for Pikachu and his mouse girlfriend, who thankfully hadn’t yet produced fifty rodent babies.
Luckily, she’d managed to dodge Jess’s frequent offers of macramé heart bunting – though it was only a matter of time.
‘I am,’ she yawned, not really in the mood for a telling-off. She had half promised Teijo something exclusive about her past in Hartglove, but she hadn’t quite got around to it, because she’d been too busy spending time with Devan.
‘So why are there photos of you and Devan all over the internet, covered in what looks like confetti, and kissing in a bush?’
‘What?’ Alyssa grabbed her phone and jabbed the screen. ‘Where am I looking?’
It only took a moment to locate the photos, all over social media – because she’d been tagged in them. They’d been posted by what looked like a new and probably fake account called @whoami23456, which had a close-up of a dog’s nose as its profile picture. She read the comments.
@lovedupbuttercup – Please tell me you’re IN LOVE??!!! This is amazing! Is the love app working? (Weddings bells?!)
@garypratt – The app is a load of shite. She’s doing it for the money. And what do you call a woman who gets dirty for cash?
@tinatinyharris – Shut up, Pratt Face. She’s happy – look at her. Sounds like you don’t know how that feels if you’ve got nothing better to do than troll people. Go Alyssa! We’re rooting for you and Devan.
At least her disgruntled ex-coaching client Gary Pratt and his pathetic messages had been drowned out by the noise of positive comments.
But still. What a scumbag. And though she should have been grateful for the tide of good wishes for her and Devan, she was not ready for this news to be out yet.
Why had she even invited Devan to meet her that day at Apple Blossom Lane, when she knew how tough it was not to kiss him in public?
‘And that’s apple blossom – not confetti,’ Alyssa clarified.
She flopped down onto a kitchen chair, the legs scraping against the hard tiles.
This could add pressure their tentative new relationship didn’t need.
They’d been broken by each other before, and even though they both now knew the truth about the past, their cracks were still healing.
Having been sworn off true feelings for so long, she barely trusted herself to navigate whatever was growing inside her, and she had no clue if she’d bolt at the first sign of pressure – like she always did.
Not to mention this news would sabotage her mission to prove ’Appy Together couldn’t make two people fall for each other.
Maybe her point made less sense as their relationship progressed, but publicly admitting she was wrong felt like choosing her heart over her head.
Eight days of incredibly good shagging should not make her drop her principles like a pair of cheap knickers.
People needed time. And she did care about Devan and the town’s causes, but she still believed there was a more human-connection-inspired way – and she’d been working on it.
‘Argh.’ She pushed herself to standing, rubbing her pounding temples.
These bloody photos. Who had taken them?
Her mind raced back to that rustle in the nearby bushes yesterday, and someone who might have been pointing a phone screen.
But seriously? This wasn’t a James Bond film.
Couldn’t she even squeeze a nice bum in a rose bush without people wanting high-definition footage?
‘It’s amazing news about you and Devan, so … Can you give me something exclusive, for promotions?’ Teijo’s voice broke through her blur of thoughts, reminding her he was still on the line. ‘Not to nag, but you did promise.’
‘We’re not together,’ she lied, thinking on her feet.
‘The kiss was just a dare. A bit of blossom-infused clickbait, to bring more buzz on social media and keep people guessing. Definitely not falling for each other.’ She gave a cheesy smile, even though he couldn’t actually see.
‘So there’s no relationship exclusive. But we’re willing to give a brief story about our past – if you could help us spread the news about something in return?
Because this would make a great story too. ’
Alyssa filled him in on the idea she’d run past Devan at the love gardens.
Devan had been full of his usual enthusiasm, and although the idea still made her quake, it was something she wanted to try.
It would hopefully bring more ‘love’ to Hartglove – even if she still thought of that word in inverted commas.
And she could just imagine Mrs Halfpenny giving her top marks for pushing through her fears instead of skating around the roundabout like a dizzy doughnut.
In fact, Mrs H would probably be right there, serving the chintzy-cupped tea.
‘I like it,’ Teijo said slowly. ‘Even if I’m surprised you’re suggesting it.’
‘Well, we can’t leave everything in the hands of a love app algorithm. Any idea what our next task will be, by the way?’
‘Miss Heart, you know I can’t tell you that. But let’s just say it could tie in nicely. This app is cleverer than you think.’
Private messages between @alyssaheart_thelovecoach and @garypratt:
@alyssaheart_thelovecoach – Are you behind @whoami23456? Seriously, stop it. Butt out of my business.
@garypratt – I have better things to do than hide in bushes, spying on you. Get over yourself.
Private message from @agent_rufusdiamond to @alyssaheart_thelovecoach:
@agent_rufusdiamond – Loving the pics of you and Devan with the secret bush snogging. Scandal sells. (Tell him to) keep it up!