20. She kissed a girl, and she liked it too
CHAPTER TWENTY
she kissed a girl, and she liked it too
Sneaking out of my house after midnight isn’t my brightest idea, but I really need to talk to Forrest right now, so I move as quietly as I can in the heels and dress I’m still wearing from the homecoming dance.
Changing before making my escape attempt would have been wise, but I’m not firing on all cylinders right now.
By the grace of all that is good, I make it out the kitchen door without waking anybody, and I scamper up the treehouse ladder without breaking either ankle.
Once in my sanctuary, I feel around until I find the flashlight Forrest and I keep up here.
I crawl across the floor to the window that faces his house and flash three quick beams of light at his bedroom window.
I’ve never wanted a cell phone more than right now, but my parents said I can’t have one until my birthday next month.
Forrest’s blinds are closed, but I pray for just a little bit more luck tonight. If he’s looking at the window, he might see my signal anyway.
I hold my breath as I wait, even though the only sounds around me are crickets and the light rustle of leaves in the wind.
It’s probably only a minute, but it feels like I’ve aged years by the time Forrest opens his back door, stopping it before it gets jammed and squeezing through the narrow opening.
It looks like he was halfway through getting undressed, his unbuttoned shirt flapping around him as he hurries toward me, and his T-shirt untucked from his dress pants.
He was smart enough to leave his shoes behind, running on silent, socked feet.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” he asks before he’s even fully in the treehouse. He’s breathing heavily from a flat-out sprint across his yard to get to me as quickly as possible.
Knowing how much he cares assures me he’s the right person to talk to about this.
“Hallie kissed me,” I blurt before I can change my mind.
“What the fuck?” he asks, rearing back, not understanding and clearly upset by what I expect he perceives as an assault. “When? Are you ok? Why would she do that?”
His reaction isn’t entirely uncalled for. Hallie and I have had a complicated friendship over the last two years, much of it spent on not very friendly terms. Actually, there were times when she was downright terrible to me.
But tonight…
He probably thinks this was another prank or a dare, something cruel to make the popular girls laugh at me some more.
It wasn’t. It was private and quick and shy and exhilarating.
The dance was in the courtyard at school, but near the end of the night, I’d gone inside to get a drink of water from one of the fountains.
I ran into Hallie when I was heading back outside.
I tried to walk past her, not interested in ruining my otherwise perfect night.
I had come with Forrest and his date and some of our other friends, and we were having a lot of fun.
But she grabbed my arm and stopped me. She rushed out a frantic and broken apology for being so horrible. And she kissed me.
And I kissed her back.
“Forrest, I liked it,” I say so quietly I can barely hear myself.
“You liked—oh,” he says slowly, seemingly working out what I want to tell him. “Was… it your first kiss?” I don’t think he knows what to say. I think he’s trying not to pressure me into saying more than I want to.
I shake my head. I’d kissed a guy from our class at the lazy river last summer. It was also nice.
“Did you want to kiss her?” Forrest asks, still confused.
“I wasn’t exactly planning on it, no,” I laugh because I don’t know what else to do. It’s like I have too many feelings in me, all fighting to get out. “But it was… good. It felt good.”
“Oh,” he says again.
“Forrest, I think I like girls,” I say, squeezing my hands together so he hopefully won’t see them shaking. Might as well get it out there.
“You think you like girls?” Forrest echoes.
“I know I like girls,” I say more assuredly. I try to be brave. “And guys.”
Then I hold my breath.
“You’re bisexual.” Forrest says it without judgment, like he’s trying the word out to see how it fits for me. We look at each other in the dim glow of the flashlight.
I nod.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I expect Forrest is in a similar situation. I think he realizes he should say something.
“That’s great!” His enthusiasm is sudden and pulls a barking laugh out of me. I slap my hands over my mouth to stifle the loud sound in the quiet night.
“It’s great?” I question from behind my fingers.
“I think so? I mean. Yes. It’s who you are. And you’re my best friend. And you’re great. So, it’s great. How do you feel about it?” he asks.
I think about it for a second. “Nervous? But also good. And happy I told you,” I answer.
“I’m happy you told me too.” His face gets serious before he continues, “I just want you to be happy and safe. I’ll kick anybody’s ass who gives you a hard time about it.
” He trails off again. “I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to say.
I don’t want to mess up. I’ve never had somebody come out to me before. ”
His eyes are still so kind, and my heart swells. I do feel safe with him. I’m always safe with Forrest.
“Well, neither do I,” I admit. “I’ve never come out to somebody before.”
Forrest reaches out and covers my tangled hands with his, squeezing hard.
“I think you’re doing an amazing job at it,” he says.
“You do?”
“Best coming out I’ve ever been at.”