Chapter Twenty-Two
Piper and her mother strolled down the rue des Rosiers in the Marais neighborhood of the city, sharing an umbrella as the rain slowed to a drizzle, marveling at the way the wet cobblestones caught the light and the way that ivy and flowers tumbled from balconies and awnings, a vibrant burst of springtime in the city.
The street was lined with boutiques and restaurants, and as they walked, peering into the windows of crowded falafel shops and stationery stores, Piper could almost imagine what it would feel like if this were her life, if she lived in Paris and strolled the market streets each day.
But alas, she was an American who would have to go home in just two days.
Already, the city had stolen a piece of her heart, and admittedly, Nicolas had, too.
Last night, they had walked all the way to the gleaming Basilique du Sacré-Coeur, which overlooked Paris from Montmartre, the hill on the northern side of the city.
It had taken them an hour and a half to get there, and when they’d reached the top, they’d bought chicken, tomato, and mayonnaise sandwiches on fresh baguettes and had enjoyed an impromptu picnic on the basilica’s steps, gazing out at the city, before walking back along a different route.
By the end of the evening, her feet were aching, but her heart was full, and when he’d kissed her, deeply and tenderly, outside the front door of her hotel, she’d forgotten for a few minutes about the tragedy that was coming and the sadness that had cast a shadow over this whole trip.
She was just a girl falling for a boy in the most beautiful city in the world.
But then she had floated upstairs to her hotel room, touching her tingling lips, and the wind had been knocked out of her when she’d realized her mother wasn’t there.
She had called her in a panic, worried that something had happened, but her mother had sounded weird and hadn’t explained where she was—only that she would be back right away.
“So?” she prompted her mother, who’d been unusually quiet all morning. “Are you going to tell me about the man you were with last night? Or are we just going to pretend that didn’t happen?”
Her mom looked sharply at her, guilt written across her face. “How do you know I was with a man?”
“I was watching out the window when you came home. Mom, he kissed you.” Piper knew that the words sounded like an accusation, but what was her mother hiding? “I thought you were sleeping.”
“I was,” her mom said. “But I woke up and decided to go get something to eat.”
“And picked up a random dude along the way?” Piper asked, incredulous.
“He wasn’t exactly random,” her mom said, looking away.
“What?”
“I just mean I met him the day before. He gave me his phone number, but I wasn’t planning to call him. And then, there he was again.”
Piper stopped walking, which forced her mother to stop, too. “So, what, you were out on, like, a date?”
Her mother shrugged. “No. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t think you could call it that.”
“Do you like this guy?” Piper pressed, then she lobbed another question before her mother could answer. “Who is he, anyway?”
Her mother started walking again, and after a beat, Piper hurried after her. “His name is Sam,” her mother said. “He’s American, and he seems… wonderful.”
“Okay, so forgive me for not understanding this, but you and I are on a trip together to Paris, and you sneak out at night to go out with some guy when you’re supposed to be sleeping?
” Piper knew she sounded petulant, and she couldn’t quite place why she was feeling so aggrieved that her mother had met someone.
“I didn’t sneak out.” Her mother sounded hurt. “I woke up and went to grab some food by myself, because I was hungry. I ran into someone I’d met the other day. And we went for a walk.”
“A walk,” Piper repeated. “And what exactly is the game plan with this guy? Like, is he going to call you in the States once we’re home?
” Her mom had so little time left, and it should all belong to Piper, shouldn’t it?
There wasn’t room for some random man to share her mother’s final months with her.
“I have no idea, Piper. Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know,” Piper mumbled, because it was easier to say that than to admit she was jealous that someone else had stolen her mother’s attention. “So he knows about your cancer?”
Her mom didn’t say anything as they passed two more falafel shops with lines down the block. “No,” she finally said, and Piper gave her a sharp look.
“You didn’t tell him?”
Her mom glanced over at her, tears in her eyes. “You make it sound so simple, Piper. But when exactly do I bring that up in a light conversation? ‘Where are you from, what do you do, and, oh, by the way, I’m dying’?”
“Mom.” Piper felt a hitch in her throat. “No, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s just… I don’t have a road map for this, honey.” Her mom wiped a tear away. “I don’t have a road map for any of it. But I want to live in the time I have left, you know?”
“That’s what we’re doing here.” Piper gestured to the shopping street, which was filling up as the rain finally stopped. “We’re living.”
“I know. But…” Piper’s mom looked like she wanted to say something, but she trailed off. “I can’t even remember the last time someone looked at me the way Sam looked at me last night. Okay? And this will be the last time in my life someone looks at me like that. I know there’s no future in it.”
“Well… do you like him?” Piper asked. Since her parents had divorced thirteen years before, her mom hadn’t dated, so this was completely new territory for both of them.
“I do, honey.” Her mom’s voice was sad. “I do, and that kind of breaks my heart.”
“Why?”
“Because I have to tell him, don’t I? I can’t pretend to be anything other than what I am, which is a woman who didn’t live enough in the years she had—and whose time is running out far too soon.”
They stopped in front of a modern-looking patisserie as Piper grappled for words. “Mom…”
“It’s fine, honey,” her mom said, pasting a smile on her face though her eyes still shone with tears.
“It’s fine, and it will be fine, and I will do the right thing.
I just… it was nice to have one night where I was just me.
Not an ad executive for a failing newspaper or a divorcée or a cancer patient.
I was just… Julia. I can’t remember the last time I was just Julia.
And I wasn’t ready for that to end. The second I tell him, he’ll only see me as The Woman Dying from Cancer. ”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Piper felt like her own heart had shattered into a million pieces. The truth was, she’d been treating her mother that way, too.
“I know.” Piper’s mom sniffled, wiped her tears away, and gestured to the door of the patisserie. “Now, what do you say we grab a tarte before lunch? In fact, we should eat dessert first more often, don’t you think?”
Without waiting for an answer, she entered the shop, which smelled of yeast and sugar, and Piper had no choice but to follow.
“Your girlfriend came by,” was the first thing Benji said when Russ walked into Le Maison Grog just past one o’clock.
The place was completely empty, save for Benji cutting lemons.
Russ was there earlier than he’d promised to be—today was Benji’s day to open—but he had hoped to catch him during a lull in service to have a calm conversation about dissolving their business partnership.
He had hoped that last night’s animosity between them was fueled by alcohol, but today, Benji looked even more furious, and from the glazed look in his eyes, it was clear that he’d already been drinking for hours.
“Shelby?” Russ asked. He hadn’t been able to find his phone that morning, and he’d run out of time looking for it. She must have come here after trying to call him.
“I don’t know her name. The American. The one with the tits.”
Russ clenched his fists, urging himself not to take the bait. “You’re such an arse.”
“Have I offended you, Russ?”
“Come on, Benji,” Russ said, trying to keep his tone light. “Can we talk like adults?”
Benji sliced a few lemons with violent slashes before speaking. “Fine, you want to talk like adults? This adult thinks that adult is being a twat and throwing away everything we’ve worked for, all for some random bird.”
“Benji, I’m not throwing away anything, and this has nothing to do with Shelby. I’ve been feeling like this for a while. I feel like I blinked and the past decade has just disappeared in a haze of whiskey and late nights, and… I think I’m just realizing I want more.”
“Just because you’ve turned into a pensioner overnight doesn’t mean I feel that way.” Benji slammed his knife down and finally looked Russ in the eye. “Think about what you’re doing here. You and I have a good thing going. A great thing. We make a profit every month—”
“A small one.”
“And we have all the women we could possibly want. You get laid one time, and all of a sudden you’re rethinking your whole life?”
Russ closed his eyes. “Benji. This isn’t about women. It’s just, this isn’t the life I want, you know? I want stability and normal hours and a wife and maybe even kids.”
“Do you hear yourself? A wife? Kids? Does the American with the big rack know you’re planning her future like that? She’s a tourist. She’s on holiday. She’ll go home with a story that she got laid by a hot Aussie bartender, and then she’ll forget all about you.”
“Screw you.”
Benji managed to look both amused and pitying at the same time as he shook his head at Russ.
“You’re an idiot, mate. You’ve spent all this time pretending you walk on higher moral ground than I do, just because you don’t take advantage of what’s available to us every night.
But in the end, you’ve done the exact same thing I do.
Only, you don’t have the brains to see it for what it is. ”