29. Darian
DARIAN
You do stupid shit when you’re drunk. I know I’m stating the obvious here, but it’s true. And the worst part is, at the time… you think it’s the best idea in the world.
Mac’s obviously done something stupid.
I didn’t see what it was, but the way the party roared and cheered… yeah, I’m guessing it was good.
Charli’s looking pissed about it.
I see her storming toward me, ready to rant up a storm, but I’m on a mission to get Nix’s attention.
My drunk ass just came up with the best idea.
I was taking a piss in the bathroom and saw some tweezers on the counter. I don’t know who they belong to, but tweezers are a great way to get a girl’s attention, right?
I have them pinched between my fingers as I stumble away from Charli and head toward the last place I saw Nix.
“Darian!” my sister growls. “I gotta talk to you.”
“In a minute,” I slur over my shoulder, then spin back with a drunk-ass giggle and spot Nix.
She moves a little to the left, no, the right, no, the… Why is she swaying?
Oh wait, maybe that’s me.
Whatever. I’ve got tweezers.
With a sloppy laugh, I approach that hot little thing and point at her. “I got tweezers,” I announce, a soft burp following my words. Studying her face, I try to figure out how I can make this information useful. When I was peeing before, I thought it was brilliant… now I just can’t remember why.
I squint my eyes at her, trying to clear my vision, but everything’s fuzzy, and as I stare at her pretty face, I see her eyebrows start to merge into one.
That’s it.
Brilliant!
Snapping the tweezers between my fingers, I hiccup and slur, “Let’s deal with that monobrow of yours, Tink.”
Her head jolts back, and I think she’s glaring at me.
Why does she look so pissed? I’m trying to help her.
Another messy laugh punches out of me as I lurch toward her, stumbling and tripping onto her. We fly off the ottoman thing she was sitting on and hit the floor on our sides.
It’s fucking hilarious, and my laughter is uncontrolled as I snap those tweezers at her face.
“Get away from me!” she screeches.
“Aw, c’mere. You know you want me.” I grab her hip, pulling her flush against me before tipping her onto her back. She’s now pinned beneath me and wrestling up a storm, and I can’t stop laughing.
I take my weight off her, resting on my elbows and trying to snip those tweezers between her eyebrows, but I can’t really see straight and I’m still laughing, I think.
Shit, I’m so drunk right now.
What am I actually doing?
“You’re so hot,” I croak, going still and staring at her perfect lips. “I really want to—oof!”
Pain rockets between my legs and I curl to the side, gripping my tender balls and struggling to breathe.
“Get off me, you asshole!” Shoving my shoulder, she frees her leg from beneath me and scrambles to her feet.
I let out a rasping moan as she straightens her clothes and glares down at my face. I think her fingers are curling into a fist, but I can’t quite tell. The entire room is swaying now, and my balls fucking hurt!
“He’s drunk!” someone shouts, grabbing Nix’s wrist before she can fire her little fist at me. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Lemme go,” Nix growls, shaking the person off and stalking away.
“No wait,” I call after her. “You’re beautiful!”
“Okay, buddy.” Someone pats my chest.
I squint up at the person talking to me. “I know you,” I croak.
“Shit, dude. How much did you drink?” The guy grabs my hand and starts pulling me up.
“You’re Sawyer.”
“That’s me.” He grunts, pulling my deadweight body off the floor.
I lean against him, my head starting to spin, my stomach roiling. Shit, I think I’m about to blow chunks.
“You’re gonna be sick, aren’t you?” My friend’s voice is dry and unimpressed. “Let’s go. Hey, move, people. I’ve got a hurler here!”
“Ew, gross.” Someone jumps out of the way as my stomach starts to convulse.
Rushing me out of the room, Sawyer half carries me to the nearest bathroom, and I barely make it to the toilet. In fact, I think I just missed it if Sawyer’s light cursing is anything to go by.
“Shit, brother. You’re a mess. What the fuck were you thinking?”
He’s grabbing towels behind me and mopping up my sick while I dip my head into the bowl and empty the poison from my body.
I had this really good idea, but I can’t remember what it was anymore.
My body feels like shit.
And why do my balls hurt?