30. Auden
Ilike him, too. Why do I have to like him? I like him a lot more than I’m letting myself believe. This isn’t good. I’m scared. I never take risks and being with Storm is a big risk.
But I don’t want to be like his hurtful ex and judge him. I’ve done enough of that. He will amount to so many great things in life, and when I close my eyes and think of my future, he’s standing right there in it. Things will work out for us, I just know it.
I lean on the side of Storm’s Jeep and take my phone out, calling the one person I need to speak to most. I have to fill him in on this chaos. My heart is telling me one thing, and my brain is telling me another.
I know I’m going to follow my heart, but is it the right decision?
“Hey, kid,” Sean says over FaceTime. He has the phone propped up on his dresser and he’s fixing a tie around his neck, then whips it off and takes out a bowtie. “How’s it in Campbellton?”
“What’re you doing?” I scrunch my nose as he takes the bowtie off and tries on another tie.
He rolls his eyes and leans on the dresser, staring right into the camera. “Millie doesn’t want me to wear a black tie, so now I gotta try and find a tie that matches my grey suit with black lapels. Everything was fine, everything matched, now it doesn’t.”
I push my lips together, chuckling softly. “Lemme see what you got.”
He smirks, narrowing his eyes. “You’re glowing.”
“I just had sex, now show me the options.”
He laughs, bowing his head and nodding. “Take it you guys are doing well?”
I nod, pushing my lips together to hide my smile. “I really like him, Sean. And…I think I’m going to go all in. No regrets, just happiness.” I slide my tongue over my back molars. “He got a job in the city, for me. He’s willing to upheave his life here and move to the city, for me. He’s changing, becoming so much better for both himself and for me.” I take a breath, looking at the screen. “Am I crazy?”
“No, kid, you’re in love,” Sean says standing upright and taking out a black tie.
I see the redness forming on my face, the reason I haven’t stopped smiling all week has a lot to do with meeting my birth father but it also has everything to do with meeting Storm. He’s opened my eyes and made me think of a future with him.
I stopped dredging up the past, stopped worrying about losing my dad, or about when I’d be able to get my next drink. My sobriety was tested many times this week and I pulled through all because of Storm.
He calls me his angel, but he is sure as hell the one who saved me, too.
Sean takes my silence as exactly what it is, my way in silently trying to agree with his statement without getting upset. But I’m far from that. “So, this is the original one.” He spins in a circle, arms open. “Right?”
“You look mighty fine, Mister Sean,” I say and laugh, something I used to call him as kids. “And what’s wrong with that tie?”
“She thinks the groomsmen look like we’re going to a funeral,” he says, leaning in front of the camera. “I wish you were here; you have such a good eye for this type of shit.”
“I’ll be home for rehearsals on Friday. I’ll choose a tie for you, then, yeah?”
He nods, smiling. “You’re having a good time?”
“I am, Sean. I can’t wait to show you this town. I want to come back after I’m settled and introduce you to my birth father, it’s pretty insane how alike we are.” I smile right back at him, admiring the way he looks at me. “Thank you for listening to me vent about this trip. And for supporting me.”
“I’ll always be here for you, kid. Even when Storm is balls deep in you, I’m here,” he teases, winking. “And I can’t wait to see the town. The pictures you send me I’m sure do not do it justice.”
“No, they don’t.” The back door opens and Ross pokes his head out, flashing me his hand. Five minutes, he mouths. Then closes the door with a clank.
“Y-you should see the willow tree that my birth mother was obsessed with. It’s so much prettier than the photos. If I ever get married one day, it has to be right under that tree.”
“Wow, look at you thinking about marriage. Storm must be quite the catch, huh?”
I suck my teeth and roll my eyes. “I never said I was going to marry him.”
Sean snickers. “But you’re thinking it.”
“Shut up.”
His laughter ends and he sighs, still smiling. “I can’t wait to see you on Friday, kid. Come right over when you get home, okay?”
“I will,” I say, pushing off the Jeep and starting for the back door. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Love you.”
I stick my tongue out and hang up, laughing as I walk through the kitchen and he sends me a picture of him flashing me the middle finger.
I honestly can’t wait to tell my friends about my trip. I can’t wait to show them photos and introduce them to Storm. I think they’ll see how good this was for me.
They’ll finally see I’m me again. And it’s so good to feel like me.