34. Auden
We pull into Frank and Stevie’s house right as Rick and Maddison arrive. Heath jumps out of the car so quickly that his sandals fall off. Storm gets out and comes to my side of the Jeep, being a gentleman and taking my hand. I retract it almost as quickly as he takes it because Heath is about to body-slam Storm. He lifts him and hugs him so tightly that Heath lets out a laugh and a strain.
“Uncle Storm, you’re gonna burst my insides.”
Storm kisses his cheek. “Nah, you’re a tough guy. You can handle it. So how was the sleepover last night?”
“It was ridiculous.” Heath opens his arms. “They have like thirty dragon toys that we’re not allowed to play with because it’s his dad’s collectibles.”
Storm waves a hand in the air as he puts him down, then hugs me gently. “Collectibles? Please, I bet you he didn’t want you to play with them because you’re the best at making dragon noises. He was just jealous.”
Heath narrows his eyes, nodding slowly. “You’re probably right.”
I chuckle, scrunching my nose at Heath. “Hi, sweetie,” I say, smiling and looking up at Storm beaming when Heath gives me a quick hug.
Heath waves at him to come closer, side-eyeing me. “Uncle Storm?” Storm doesn’t hesitate, he gets down on one knee and smirks. Heath looks at me and giggles. “Are you and the pretty lady getting married?”
I gasp, laughing. “Oh, God.”
Storm sticks his tongue out. “When we get to know each other better I’m gonna marry her and practice making babies.”
“She’s like a Barbie doll,” Heath whispers.
Storm whispers something into his ear that I can’t hear, and I’m kind of happy I don’t. It dawns on me; I don’t think I’ll allow Storm to come with me and leave this little boy behind. It wouldn’t be fair. We have to look at the reality of everything. This is too much of a change, right? We’re jumping in too quickly.
I’m so conflicted. How do I make Storm happy without hurting his family?
“Good to see you again,” Maddison says to me with a hug as we approach the house.
“My brother won’t stop texting me about you,” Rick teases. “You must have a magical puss—”
Maddison punches his chest. “Rick!” I laugh, looking at Storm and blushing.
“What? He never talks about a girl like this,” Rick continues.
“Come with me,” Heath says, taking my hand. “I’m thirsty.”
I smile, letting Heath lead me into the house. “Oh, maybe Stevie made her iced tea again.”
Storm takes my hand as well, pulling me closer to him to wrap his arm around my shoulders. All my conflicting thoughts leave as soon as his hands are on me. Our happiness is what matters.
He leaves a kiss on my head as we walk into the kitchen and I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall.
A gasp is trapped in my throat, growing, raging. “Mom?” I say shakily. My parents are here. The ones who adopted and raised me. “Dad? Wha—what’re you doing here?”
“I called them, I hope you don’t mind, Auden,” Stevie says, pointing at chairs for us to sit on. “You told us your mother was a lawyer in New Jersey, and Lloyd played detective until we found her.”
There’s a weight on my chest again. Clenching my ability to breathe. I’m suffocating. I don’t feel ready to introduce the man who made me and the man who raised me. This isn’t right.
This should end. Gosh, why can’t this moment end?
“You didn’t have to come,” I say, slightly out of breath as I look at my father. He wasn’t one hundred percent on board with this, and seeing his face as he gawks between Frank and me is proof he’s still not a fan.
“Of course, we did, my love,” Lorie, my mother, says, embracing me.
I’m frozen in place just staring at my father trying to play nice with Frank. I didn’t bother to ask how it made them feel about me coming out here. I didn’t think anything of it. Selfishly I thought it would be okay. He’s probably disturbed seeing how similar Frank and I are. Our smile, our laugh, our eyes. My mother, Lorie, is okay with it. Being Chinese, she likes to make sure we hold onto our roots and heritage. My father, Glenn, is not the type.
“Mom. Dad,” I say. Both Frank and Glenn look up. This is awkward. I let out a shaky breath and look at Storm beside me. I need him to hold me and tell me this is okay. That I can take a breather if I wanted.
Heath is still holding my hand, swinging it back and forth. He has no idea what’s going on.
I meet Storm’s eyes and look at my parents. “Storm, these are my parents, Lorie and Glenn.” I take a shaky breath. “This is Storm, and his nephew, Heath.”
Lorie chuckles. “Aren’t you a little cutie?”
Storm places his hand on my lower back to urge me forward. I admire his respectfulness in front of my parents. He doesn’t hold my hand or try to kiss me; he even sits on the opposite side of the table in front of me. He can see how on edge I am, how all I want to do is wrap myself in his arms and make all this tension go away. I wasn’t feeling guilty about coming here until I saw my dad’s face. I shouldn’t have done this without sitting him down and asking how he truly feels about it.
Glenn kisses the side of my head and smiles. “How’re you doing, sweetie?”
“A little tired. I helped out at the bar last night for an engagement party.”
He furrows his brow. “You were all right?”
“Oh, I was fine,” I say, smiling. “They had the best mozzarella sticks.”
Glenn lets out a laugh, filling my glass with orange juice. My eyes scroll to Storm, who smirks at me, putting his foot out and touching mine. I don’t show any emotion to it, other than a few seconds of eye contact to acknowledge that I feel it, and maybe the smallest grin.
Rick and Maddison come into the kitchen. She’s rolling her eyes and his face is red. My guess is they just finished arguing about something. Then tend to argue pretty often according to Storm. Maybe they’re just off this week. I know Evan and I used to have our good weeks and our bad weeks. This is probably no different.
“Hi, Mom,” Maddison huffs. “Pancake mix and bread, right?”
“That’s it,” Stevie agrees.
Maddison looks at Glenn and Lorie and smiles, putting her hand out. “I’m Maddison, this is my partner, Rick,” she says. “I see you met Heath.”
Glenn shakes her hand. “Glenn and Lorie, Auden’s parents.”
Rick laughs as he shakes their hands as well. “This isn’t awkward.”
“It’s been a long time coming,” Lorie says, squeezing my hand under the table.
“You’ve raised a very respectful and beautifully talented daughter,” Stevie says as Lorie rises to give her some help.
Lorie beams, looking at Glenn. “We did, didn’t we?”
“How did you end up adopting Auden? Jersey’s a long ways away from here,” Rick asks, sitting beside Storm.
Storm’s foot is still touching mine, caressing my leg every so often. What’s crazier than this encounter is the fact that I need to feel Storm’s touch right now so I don’t have an anxiety attack. The last thing I ever wanted was for my birth father and father to meet. One regrets giving me up and will do anything to make up for it, while the other did everything to get me, and now meeting the man who made me seems like a slap in the face.
“Well, long story short, when we started looking into adoption, our social worker told us to start at hospitals in small towns since a lot of the babies don’t get adopted right away and end up living in group homes,” Glenn starts, putting his arm around me. “First hospital we looked into was Saint Mary’s. And our little lady fell into our laps. The rest is history”
Frank smiles, and I’m sure it’s at the little lady nickname, sipping his coffee. “I’m happy she did.”
There’s a silent tension being built and looming over the breakfast table. I’m nibbling my bottom lip and trying my hardest not to look at Storm, but it’s kind of hard since he’s staring right at me. All I want is a hug from him right about now.
You okay?he mouths.
Never better, I mouth back.
“Uncle Storm? Did you hear about my dream?” Heath says with his mouth full of grapes.
Storm shakes his head and puts his coffee down. “No, tell me.”
A smile spreads on Heath’s face and it’s the cutest interaction. The second-guessing is rushing through me again. I can’t take Storm away from his family. Who am I to do something like that? The way this little boy beams, whenever Storm enters a room, melts my heart. I can only imagine what would happen if Storm told him he’s moving far away. He’d break him.
Breakfast is awkward as hell. Every time something about adoption is brought up, Frank tenses, Glenn tenses, and Lorie tries to smooth things out. Heath doesn’t know what’s going on, and Lloyd and Jonson don’t care, but the awkward glances Maddison and Rick keep giving me, make me want to burrow my head in the garden and die.
We’re in said garden now, about to walk the grounds. Storm is off chasing Heath and the dog to the willow tree. Stevie is talking to Frank, Lorie, Maddison, and Rick about the frogs Heath found in the pound. Glenn and I aren’t walking as close to the group. We keep back and walk together. Like we usually do at family gatherings. He smiles at me and nods. He doesn’t like this, but he’s doing this for me.
“Thanks for coming. You really didn’t have to, Dad.”
“I felt like we needed to meet him.” He nods again, looking at the other group still talking by the pond. “It’s funny how you have the same laugh.”
I put my hands on my cheeks. “It’s so damn weird.”
He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him. “Did you get the answers you were looking for?”
“I did.” I hug him. “You’re nothing alike and I wouldn’t change a single thing, Dad. I love you, y’know.”
“Love you, too, kiddo,” he says, leaving a kiss on my head. “Now, are you going to tell Mom and I about you and the tall kid? Or do we have to pry it out of you?”
“What’re you talking about?” I ask, looking at Storm who ironically is staring at me and flashes me a wink.
Glenn laughs. “Frank and Stevie told us you were having ‘sleepovers’ with Storm.”
I cover my face. “Don’t laugh, Dad. Stop.”
“It’s okay, Charlotte. So long as he’s treating you right.”
My face is probably as red as the slides Storm is wearing. “He is.”
I’m happy I get to talk about us instead of keeping it a secret. People deserve to see Storm happy because he is so much more than this sleepy little town says about him. So much more.
“Everyone here calls you Auden,” Glenn points out.
“Introduced myself as that.” I shrug. “Storm is the only one who knows my real name.”
“Frank said he was trouble.”
I roll my eyes, wanting nothing more than for Frank to know his place in my life. In time, our relationship will get stronger. But for now, I need him to keep his concerns to himself. “Frank doesn’t know the whole story. He’s not trouble, trust me,” I say right as Storm jogs over.
Why is he jogging over? Please don’t jog over.
“Hey,” Storm says, nodding at me, then looking at my dad. “May I borrow your daughter for a moment, sir?”
Glenn chuckles. “Sure.”
He walks off and joins everyone else by the pond, glancing over his shoulder once. Storm puts his hand out so I can lead the way. I’m not sure what he wants, but I have to pee so might as well go inside for a minute.
“What’s up?” I ask, heading for the washroom.
“Nothing,” he sings, sticking his tongue between his teeth. “I just really wanted to kiss you.”
I step into the washroom. “You didn’t want to kiss me in front of my parents?”
He leans his forearms on the opening of the washroom. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to tell them about me.”
I giggle and do what I have to do, letting him watch me as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I was never this comfortable around exes before. With Storm, it’s so different. It’s real. True. Endless.
I laugh as I’m washing my hands. “Frank and Stevie told my parents about us. My dad asked how our ‘sleepovers’ were.”
Storm gasps jokingly. “I don’t want your dad to know what I do to his daughter.”
“I’m open with my parents about that kind of stuff,” I inform him, leaning my hip on the sink.
Storm bites his bottom lip as his eyes scan me. “So, if I ravish you right now, you going to tell them about it?”
“I don’t know.” I narrow my eyes and lick my lips slowly. “Fuck me and find out.”
“Don’t gotta ask me twice,” he growls and steps forward, slamming his lips on mine.
Our tongues slide against each other, as my hand finds its way into his pants, stroking that monstrosity that destroys me every night.
Right as I release his dick from the confines of his jeans, Heath barges into the washroom huffing and on the verge of tears.
Storm pushes his lips together and adjusts himself in his pants, looking over his shoulder at Heath. “Hey, bud.”
“Mom says you’re moving far away. Why are you moving far away from me? Who am I gonna see on Wednesdays for our pizza and juice night?” Heath asks, his lower lip quivering.
Storm gets on one knee in front of Heath. “I’m not moving that far.”
Heath sobs. “The pretty lady is making you move far away.”
Storm pulls Heath into a hug, kissing the side of his head. “Bud, hey. It’s okay.”
I can’t do this. My second-guessing was right. I can’t take him away from this kid. Ripping him away feels like there will be an emptiness in Heath. This hole will grow over the years until he fills that hole with something. Like I did. I’ve had a hole inside me for years because of this adoption. I fed the hole with alcohol and it nearly ruined me. I won’t let Storm leave and ruin this kid.
“He’s not moving,” I spit out so quickly that I put a hand on my mouth. Storm looks up and me and frowns. He does not seem pleased that I said that. “He was supposed to come with me to a wedding. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you he couldn’t make it. He wouldn’t leave you. You’re his best bud…and you can’t leave your best bud, right, Storm?”
“Right,” Storm agrees, but his face says otherwise.
Heath sniffs, squeezing Storm’s neck tightly. “You’re not gonna leave me?”
Storm sighs. “No.”
Heath sniffles. “I need you here forever and ever.”
There’s an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Everything was perfect, we barely know each other, but we know each other in so many different ways that moving in with him feels right. Being with him feels right even though we haven’t spoken about what we are yet. Storm is so different from every other guy I’ve been with. I was never comfortable with my exes, I never wanted them to sleep over or spend days on end with me. I liked having my space. With Storm, I never want to leave his side. But seeing Heath’s devastated face, I know moving to New York with me is not something Storm can do.
The hole is growing again. But this time, I won’t let it win.
“I’ll, um,” I start, pushing my lips together. “I’m going to join everyone outside.”
Storm reaches for my hand. “Baby, wait.”
Our gazes hold for a moment, saying everything our mouths can’t.
My hand slips from his grip. “It’s okay.”
It’s not okay. Not one bit.