50. Auden
Evan leans on the edge of the pool beside me and looks over at Storm laughing with Ryan. “You really like him, huh?”
“I do.” I wrinkle my nose. “I’ve heard people talk about that instant attraction and never being able to spend more than a moment without them or it’ll hurt like a bitch.” I smile as Storm and Sean embrace for some reason. “I never understood it until now. When I’m away from him I feel empty. Is that weird?”
“No, I get it.” Evan nods. “I’m happy for you, Charlotte. I really am.”
I nudge him with my foot under the water. “Thanks.”
Evan tongues his cheek, glancing at the guys whooping in the shallow end, and returns his attention to me. “Wanna talk about why he made you relapse yesterday?”
I inhale a slow breath, keeping my gaze on Storm. “I fucked up. I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn’t. Now I feel like utter crap about it because I tossed away three years of sobriety for nothing. He’s here.”
Evan nods, moving his hand in the water. “Sean said you went to a meeting before church.” I nod, letting out a deep breath as he touches my foot. “We’re all here for you, okay?”
It was hard at the beginning trying to socialize without drinking. Evan saw that side of me, the needing, withdrawing side. He stood by me, cared for me when it was toughest, and loved me when it was easiest. As much as I want to regret being with him, there isn’t much to regret. Evan was a big part of my life and I will never take that away from him.
Evan glances at the guys playing volleyball and gasps. “Jesus, Char, his back is scratched to shit.”
I giggle. “He’s really good at what he does, what can I say?”
“Why didn’t you ever wanna spice things up a little?” he asks, looking up at me.
“I tried, don’t you remember?” I meet his gaze, arching an eyebrow. I bought toys and oils, trying to bring our soft sex into something wild. But Evan wasn’t a fan of toys and didn’t like the smell of the oils. So every time I tried, I gave up. “Maybe I didn’t try hard enough.”
“I don’t think either of us tried hard enough,” he admits.
I nod, leaning back on my hands. “Mm, yeah. You think we should have stayed friends? Better off as fuck buddies instead of all that mushy-gushy relationship crap like dates, meeting the parents, and sleepovers.”
He nudges my leg. “I don’t regret us.”
I giggle. “We did have fun times, though. Like the fair we’d go to three times a year just for the banana cotton candy.”
“Because nowhere else sells banana cotton candy.” He laughs; it echoes and Storm looks over. He does not look too happy right now. But I smirk and stick my tongue out, making his mouth quirk up into a grin.
“What happened to your hand?” I asked, adjusting my seated position.
“Nicked it at the gym.” He lifts his hand out of the water to show me the nasty bruise on his wrist. “Weight fell and like an idiot, I tried to catch it.”
I chuckle, looking at Storm spike the ball at Ryan. “Well, that was stupid.”
I wrinkle my nose as Storm and Sean chest bump, scoring once again.
“You’re happy? With this guy?” Evan asks, nodding at Storm. He’s laughing and high-fives Sean. I’m sure they’ll be the best of friends just like Sean and I are.
“I am.”
Evan smiles, nudging my leg again. We hold our gaze for a moment, a gaze that feels like closure. Another chapter in my life ending, so a better one can begin.
Millie’s laughing uncontrollably, making me chuckle as I watch her struggle to get out of the pool in her dress. “Charlotte!” Millie screams, drunkenly, then laughs. “Help me up.”
I jump to my feet, laughing as Millie is on her stomach, and wondering how in the heck I’m supposed to help her up.
“Babes, I gotta pee,” Millie sings, some laughter in her tone.
“Can you sit up?” I ask, taking her hand. Millie laughs again and gets on her knees, hugging my waist and kissing my belly button. “Someone drank a little too much, didn’t they?”
Millie pulls herself up, using me as her crutch. “Shush, babes.”
I groan as I try to lift her. “This dress is sopping wet.”
“What? Am I supposed to take it off?” Millie says, then yells. “Ryan, Charlotte’s trying to get me naked. That’s your job tonight.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, shut your face, I am not.”
“I mean, I don’t mind watching that.” Sean sticks his tongue out.
Ryan shoves Sean playfully. “Fuck off.”
“Let’s go pee,” I say, walking with Millie’s arms around me to the washroom.
In moments like these, I remind myself that it’s a good thing I’m sober. I remember waking up after crazy nights to find myself wondering, firstly what the fuck happened the night prior, but also so dizzy and sick and mentally unable to bear doing anything.
Much like I felt this morning.
I slip on a pair of men’s slides by the washroom door, there’s no way in hell I’m walking in here barefoot like her.
“Your man is real sexy,” Millie comments as I hold her dress up so she can sit on the toilet.
I giggle. “Isn’t he?”
“I understand why you attacked him the way you did—and seems like he attacked you, too. Your makeup is gone,” she slurs. “Your hickies are back.”
“It’s fucking wild. I haven’t had sex like this since…shit, I don’t think I’ve ever had wild sex like this before…maybe with Sean—hey? Millie?” I call, looking at her. I think she passed out. “Millie?”
She snorts and sits upright. “Hmm?”
I laugh softly, taking toilet paper for her. “I think it’s time we get you to bed, yeah?”
“Night, my loves,” Millie says, smiling with her eyes closed.
I wonder if Millie ever felt annoyed to death toward me. I don’t like how whiny she is, how hard it is to make her stand, and she reeks of bad decisions. This was me for almost an entire year. How did I let myself get to this point? How did I let myself slip last night?
Millie leans her head on my shoulder as she walks out and immediately wakes up once she sees the pool. No one’s in it anymore, but Millie still takes it upon herself to jump in, almost taking me with her.
I sigh. “Millie?”
“I’ll get her,” Ryan says, diving in after her and making her scream.
Storm’s on the other side of the pool, drying off with a towel when we lock eyes. He winks and jerks his head at something behind me. I shake my head and he jerks his head again, grinning. I yelp as soon as arms wrap around my waist and lift me. Bringing me to the edge of the pool.
“You next?” Sean says, chuckling.
I gasp, bringing my knees up. “No, no, no. I can’t get my tattoo wet.”
“Oh, c’mon,” Sean urges, smirking at Storm.
“Storm!” I call, but he laughs. Sliding his feet into his slides.
Storm pulls his shirt over his head. “Put her down, man.”
“Your boy toy isn’t going to help you,” Sean sings.
“He will if he knows what’s good for our sex life,” I say loudly.
Storm takes my dress and shoes, making his way to us. “C’mon.”
Sean puts me down, giggling like a child, and puts his hands up when Storm makes his way over. I shove Sean and stick my tongue out. We’ve always been childish with each other. We’ve been friends since we were kids. He was my first everything, but Storm doesn’t need to know that. He’s the jealous type and I don’t want to lose Sean as a friend. He’s my crutch, I’m sure Storm will understand.
“You have my shoes, kid,” Sean says, taking the towel from Storm’s shoulder to dry off.
I narrow my eyes with a grin. “So you try and toss me in the pool for that?”
“Yes,” Sean answers, laughing as I punch his arm.
I kick his slides at him. “You’re lucky I love your stupid face.”
Sean kisses the air a couple of times. “Love you, too, boo boo.”
Storm hands me the dress and has this look about him. I can’t read it yet, but he doesn’t look too pleased. I don’t like jealous Storm. But it’s not something we can’t work out over pillow talk.
We take the elevator alone, leaning on opposite ends of it and staring at each other. “Hey, boo, boo,” he says, winking.
I groan, folding my arms behind my back. “Ugh, Sean used to call me that when we were kids. Now he just calls me kid.”
“You guys go way back, huh?”
“Like I told you before, he and Millie are my ride or dies.”
“You love him?” he asks, half chuckling half wincing.
“Like a brother.”
He puts his foot out and nudges me. “Good.”
“I don’t love any boy, don’t worry.” I tilt my head to the side. “You’re the only man for me.”
“I like that comment.” He comes toward me, pinching my chin. “I’m going to say it again, I am the luckiest fuck this earth has ever seen.”
“Good.” I bite the air, feathering my lips on his. “I know you haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours, but I need you one more time tonight. Make me scream.”
He slams his lips on mine, lifting me against the wall of the elevator as the doors open to our floor. The start of our future together is now. And I can’t fucking wait.