Epilogue
Storm
I’m washing dishes in the kitchen, singing along to one of the country bands I’ve been trying to get Auden into throughout our relationship. I love singing to her. It’s the way she looks at me when I do it that makes everything worth it. That wrinkle in her nose, that twinkle in her eyes. I’m in love with this woman just by her stare alone.
We’re almost to the finish line. A little over a month to go. I’m working odd jobs here and there to save up a little for when I take time off and raise the baby. She’s coming around to the idea of me being a stay-at-home dad. She sees my happiness blooming and I think that was the turning point.
When we found out we were pregnant, I finally found my purpose. Raising our baby is what I want to do. Raising anything Auden makes is what I want to do. We’ll push another one out by the time this one can walk. I’m sure of it. And if we don’t, I refuse to let myself fall into that pool of depression again. I want to better myself for my angel and our baby.
We chose to keep the sex of the baby a secret. Another anticipation for the big day. I painted the room a pale green with yellows, whites, and gold accents. Auden hasn’t stopped buying clothes for the baby; I can only imagine when we find out what the sex is. He or she is already so loved and so spoiled.
True to my word, I married her a month after we found out we were pregnant. We did it in Frank’s backyard under the willow tree with our closest friends and family. When she walked out of the house in a skin-tight lace dress, I nearly dropped to my knees. She was stunning. Breathtaking. Gorgeous beyond words. I married an angel that day. An angel in lace and smiles.
Our names are caved on the willow tree, seven splinters and all, I made sure to get our names on that tree because I know how much it means to her. Everything I do has always been for her. And when our baby is born, I’ll carve their name, too.
“Storm,” Auden calls, her footfalls coming my way.
I nod my head but don’t look at her. I’ve been scrubbing at this damn pot for ten minutes and the residue still won’t come off. “I’m almost done, I promise.”
We’re meeting Rick, Maddison, and Heath for lunch. They come down every other weekend to see us, keeping Heath a regular part of my life.
Denny and I speak sometimes, but I don’t want to deal with him until he’s better. Auden offered Sean’s services, and Sean speaks with Denny via Zoom three times a week to help with his anger issues. It’s working; he’s less aggressive when we speak, and calmer, too.
I have my family back, and it is the greatest gift of all knowing our family keeps on growing. And to top it off, I’m seeing one of her colleagues to help with my depression. It’s been working wonders. Auden’s the reason for my happiness. Without her, I wouldn’t smile like this.
Auden calls my name again and I look over, time has stopped.
I drop the pot, spilling water all over the counter and floor when I see her using the wall for support and holding onto her belly. “What’s wrong?”
She sobs. “I think my water broke.”
Murky water is leaking between her legs, trailing behind her in droplets. I think her water broke, too.
“Are you having contractions?” I tap my pockets for my phone, wondering where the fuck I left it. Panic sets in; I’m already short of breath. “Where’s my phone?”
She whimpers, grabbing onto me. “They started last night, but I thought it was just Braxton Hicks. Every hour on the hour. Now it’s every fifteen to twenty.” She winces as another contraction hits, breathing deeply as it passes. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” she cries. “I didn’t want you to worry. You worry enough.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I cradle her head and wipe the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs. “I’ll get the bags, okay? Just wait here.” I leave a kiss on her sultry lips and charge for the baby room.
I’m scanning the room, looking frantically for a bag that’s sitting on the rocking chair. My shaking hands seem to have a mind of their own. I can only imagine how Auden is feeling. Frightened. Nervous. Scared beyond belief.
Everything is closing in.
I have no oxygen left.
Nothing to guide me to move my feet.
I’m suffocating.
How the fuck am I supposed to be a dad?
I hear her heavy breathing move through our apartment as soon as the music shuts off, and a groan leaves her next. “Storm!”
Reality shoots back at me. Wake the fuck up, Storm!
I dart for her with our overnight bag in hand, and the baby bag over my shoulder, then snatch her purse off the coffee table. “I’m here. I’m here, babe, c’mon.” I let out a slow breath when I look at her, taking in her worry, but astounded by her beauty.
Pregnancy looks good on her.
I see the mess in the kitchen, water all over the place. But it’s the last thing on my mind right now. Getting my babies to the hospital is my top priority.
I feared this day, thinking it would make me nervous. Thinking I would chicken out. I am. Oh, fuck am I ever. But I’m also as calm as I’ve ever been. I can do this. My purpose is being a dad. I knew it when Leah got pregnant, and I knew it the moment Auden and I agreed to keep this baby. Auden gave me life again, she gave me my purpose. I can do this.
I charge for the elevator and jab the button as many times as I can. Like it’ll make the elevator go faster. It takes twenty minutes to get to the hospital—on a good day. I’m biting my inner cheek so much, I can already taste blood. For her sake, I need back in the state of mind I was in five minutes ago. Calm. I need to find that calm again.
She breathes in through her nose and out through her mouth, sliding her hand against the wall as she walks toward me. Her belly has dropped significantly since yesterday. My mom warned me about that. When her belly drops, the baby’s coming. Baby’s coming all right.
Auden sniffs, letting out a rush of air from her parted lips, pointing at the elevators. “Let’s hope they don’t stop working, that’d be something, wouldn’t it?” She chuckles.
The elevators have been on the fritz since before we moved in. Stopping randomly, between floors, doors refusing to open, and the power shuts down altogether. Maintenance has been working on the elevators one by one to replace old wiring and what have you. But this is the last thing I want to worry about. Fuck, it’s the only thing seeping in at the back of my mind. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m trying to remain calm, but if the elevator stops. I’ll scream.
The elevator is taking too damn long to come. I jab the button another couple of times. Nothing. I debate carrying her down the stairs. It’s seven floors, and fourteen flights of stairs. I can do it, but I won’t be able to carry her and the bags. I won’t be able to run back up and get the bags if I bring her down first. Fuck this fucking bullshit.
I groan, hitting the button again. “C’mon.”
She takes my hand and squeezes, urging me to relax. But I can’t. I keep staring at the numbers on the top of the elevators, indicating which floor it’s on. Tenth, top floor. Third. Lobby. But one’s coming. Fuck, it’s coming.
The third elevator door opens and I make for it, putting my foot in to stop the doors from closing and reaching for her hand again to help ease her slowly inside.
Her face is red and she’s shaking. She’s scared. I don’t like seeing her scared like this.
“Hey,” I say, pulling her into the elevator and kissing her softly. “We got this.”
She nods quickly, letting out a breath. “Call Rick, tell him we won’t make lunch,” she says. Always thinking of others before herself.
I’m about to send him a quick text, but I look up and see Auden gripping the handles, practically bending in two. I don’t like seeing her in pain. I feel helpless. I can’t do anything but watch her.
I drop the bags and rub my thumbs onto her lower back, doing whatever I can to calm her. “Is it just me or are they closer together?”
She nods again, letting out a sob. I want to take away her pain and bottle it up so she doesn’t have to feel it. But I can’t. So instead, I lean my forehead on her shoulder and breathe with her, calming her out of her cries. We breathe together. Stay in the now together.
I move my hands to her stomach, feeling how hard it is, and keep my hands there. “It’ll be all right, Auden. Everything will be all right.”
That doesn’t seem like enough because everything jolts, almost knocking us over. The elevator stops—just our fucking luck.
She yelps, gripping onto me and her sobbing commences again. “Storm? Storm, please tell me this isn’t happening.”
I hold onto her and press the call button, waiting for someone to answer. “Fuck,” I groan under my breath, staring at the flickering lights as I jab the call button repeatedly.
A deep voice comes to life over the intercom. “We see you on our camera, we’ll get you up and running as soon as possible.”
“Hi, yes, hi. My wife is in labor. How long do you think this will take?” I call out, kissing her temple repeatedly.
Static sounds on the intercom and the deep voice comes to life again. “My colleague is calling an ambulance. We’re doing the best we can to get you and your wife out of there.”
She groans, pushing off me and pacing the elevator. “We’re going to have this fucking baby in this fucking elevator, aren’t we?”
“Babe, it’ll be okay.”
I’m thinking the worst. The baby gets stuck. Breach. Stops breathing. In distress.
What the fuck am I supposed to do if anything bad happens?
I take my phone out and call Rick. He can calm me down a little bit. Ease my mind into a state of relaxation. No, he can’t. I’m a fucking mess right now I feel like my head is about to explode and my heart is about to leap out of my mouth. Breathe. Fucking breathe.
I’m suffocating.
The line trills three times before he picks up and I put him on speakerphone. “Yeah, we’re just leaving the hotel now. We should be there in fifteen—”
“Don’t bother,” I interrupt. “Auden’s in labor.”
His voice trails off, telling Maddison the news. “What hospital are you guys going to? We’ll meet you there.”
I let out a rush of air and slap my hand on my mouth, muffling a sob. “The elevator,” I moan. “We’re stuck in the fucking elevator and her contractions are almost five minutes apart.” I let out a rush of air again and sniff. “I don’t know what to do.”
“All right, all right,” Rick says. I can picture the look on his face. I’m sure his mouth is set in a hard line, I’m sure he’s sitting up straighter, and I’d put money down that he’s running his fingers through his hair at least twice. “Did you call an ambulance?”
Auden is pacing again, breathing deeply, and looking at the ceiling. The lights keep flickering, I’m sure we’re going to lose power soon.
I sniff, stepping over to her and bringing her head to my chest. “Security called.”
There’s rustling in the background, Rick fills Maddison in on what’s happening and her gasps move through my ear. “We’ll be there soon, okay? Keep breathing and don’t panic.”
Auden groans, gripping me. “Easy for you to say.”
I hang up the phone without saying anything else and hold onto her. My heart is beating at an abnormal rate, I feel it in my temples, pounding in my throat. My breathing is short, scattered, and I’m beginning to sweat. I’m not good in stressful situations. This is the most stressful I’ve been in a long time.
Static sounds on the intercom and that deep voice chimes in. “Sir? The ambulance is here, the only problem is the cameras went down.” I look up at the camera in the corner of the elevator, it’s not blinking red anymore. “We know you’ve stopped near the third floor. They’re opening the doors as we speak and we should be getting you and your wife out in no time.”
I nod quickly, kissing the side of her head. “Thank you, thanks.”
Ten minutes go by before the doors open. Five of which I’ve been trying to help pry them open, too. Three times during the ten minutes Auden has a contraction. Three times she shoves me away when I try to soothe her. Three fucking times I curse the world for doing this to my angel.
Just our fucking luck.
The elevator stopped between floors; there’s barely a foot of space at the top of the doors.
I growl and bang my hand against the side of the elevator, looking back at Auden sobbing as she holds onto her stomach.
I just stare at her, meeting her gaze as tears fill my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
I let her down.
I promised I’d take care of her and keep them safe.
I’ve failed.
A paramedic gets on his stomach and looks at Auden and me, there’s worry painting his face. “How far apart are your contractions?”
She groans and breathes deeply. “Not that far apart.”
“Did your water break?”
She nods, gripping the handles again to brace for another contraction. The paramedic looks down at his watch, timing them like I should be doing but I’m shaking. I’m fucking shaking when I should be helping my woman.
She sobs, placing a hand on her lower back. “I don’t want to have my baby in an elevator.”
The paramedic looks at me and starts handing me things I might need. “Put the blankets on the floor, I’ll walk you through it, okay?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I hold the blanket to my chest and flicker my gaze between Auden and this man. “I can’t do this.”
“You have no choice,” he says, looking at his watch as Auden groans again, whimpering from the pain. “She’s less than two minutes apart, the baby’s coming. Fast.”
“No,” she weeps.
I shake my head. “My wife’s three weeks early.”
The paramedic smiles. “Little one wants to come out.”
I groan, pinching my eyes shut, and force myself to snap out of it. She’s my wife, she’s carrying my baby. I have to nut up and take charge. I have no other choice. My anxiety can wait.
“Baby, hey,” I say, putting my hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay, we got this, right? Me and you.”
“Storm,” she whispers, her tears making those eyes so much bluer than they normally are.
I kiss her shoulder and grin. “I love you, Auden. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”
I lay the blanket down and help her on it, but she doesn’t lie down, she stays on her knees holding onto the handles.
“Here,” the paramedic says, tossing a bag with gloves, gauze, hand sanitizer—whatever I’ll need for this, I guess. What the fuck do I even need for this?
I get on my knees beside her and wave them away, she’s my angel. I don’t care if her blood is all over me.
“What’re your names?” he asks, looking at his watch again.
I point at my chest. “Storm, my wife’s name is Auden.”
“Nate Chance,” he says, smiling at us. “Now, Storm, I need you to help her lie down.”
“I don’t want to lie down,” she snaps, letting out a pained moan. “I feel a pressure. Fuck, it hurts so much!” She looks at me and sobs. “Why the fuck did we do this?”
I glance up at Nate and furrow my brow, I don’t know what the fuck to do right now.
He looks at his watch again. “All right, Auden. Your husband is going to take off your underwear and check to see if you’re ready to push, okay?”
She lets out a breath. “I’m not wearing any. I never put them back on after my water broke.”
I look at Nate again and gulp. “What the fuck am I supposed to look for?”
She groans and grabs onto my shoulders, breathing deeply and wincing. “It hurts!” she cries. “Make it stop, please!”
“Where does it hurt?” Is all I can get out. I’m on the verge of tears, praying to God to give me all her pain. I want to take it away. I have to take it away.
She groans, letting out a low growl. “I think the baby’s coming now.”
Nate is calling demands; he is so calm as he does it. Telling me what to do, what to look for, and instructing her to breathe. He thinks she’s ready to push. So she does. Her face turns so red when she does.
Instinctually I put my hand between her legs, letting her hold onto me as she pushes and yells. I feel it. A head. My baby. I can feel my baby coming out.
My eyes widen and Nate takes notice. “Don’t let it fall out.”
I won’t. I’ll protect this baby with my life.
I kiss the side of Auden’s head, letting her dig her fingers into my shoulders no matter how much it hurts me. “Push, babe. You got this.”
With one last push, my baby is in my hands, crying, wailing. I hold the baby against my chest, Auden’s heavy breaths have died down and she’s laughing softly. We made the most precious thing.
“It’s a girl,” I say, pulling Auden’s lips to mine. “She’s perfect. You’re perfect. You did great, babe. You did such a good job.”
“Mazel tov, kids,” Nate says, giving me other instructions. I can barely hear him, I’m so focused on this prize in my arms. This precious little thing her mother and I made. Perfection doesn’t even merit her. Perfection doesn’t merit my wife, but she’s beyond words. They both are.
Auden sniffs and smiles, touching her little head. “She has my hair.”
I kiss the tip of our baby’s nose and nod. “I love you.” A chuckle leaves me. “Thank you for walking into my bar.”
She laughs, taking the baby from my arms. “Thank you for not giving up on us.”
I would never.
Not in a million fucking years.
I snag a yellow blanket Heath chose for us and place it over the baby, touching her delicate head.
“What should we name her?” Auden asks, sitting back against the side of the elevator.
I look up at Nate on a walkie-talkie with someone and I glance at his name tag. I’m a believer in fate. He was meant to come into our lives and help us. Because of that, he guided me through the birth of my daughter.
My daughter.
Can you believe it?
“Nathalie,” I say, meeting Auden’s tired face. “I think it’ll suit our little bean.”
She giggles. “Nathalie, our little bean.”
My forehead falls on Auden’s, and we let out a sigh of relief as we look at our little angel. My angels. Given to me for a reason. My purpose.
This is what heaven must feel like. Because I’m in it. And I’ll be in it with my girls forever.
The End.