Chapter 12
My brain slows down, moving at a glacial pace as it tries to reconcile the man standing on the other side of the door. I glance back at the blown-out candle, like it’s going to give me answers, before looking at him again.
Fuck it.
“My dead twin.” The words are flat and unhappy as they leave my lips, though I can’t help looking down for a sign of his dogs or any other weapon he might have on him.
Seeing what I’m doing, Amir slowly lifts his hands in surrender, like he’s showing me he’s unarmed.
Not that I’m convinced.
“Your dead twin,” he repeats. “Interesting. I heard from Hestia that you didn’t seem to be into the birthday party they planned for you.
Now I know why.” He glances into my apartment, craning forward and into my space like he has the right.
I can’t help stepping back, and he just…
takes advantage of that to walk in like he owns this place.
I suddenly feel like the one who doesn’t belong as I stand there, hovering at my door with the knob in my hand. “Leave,” I murmur, but he doesn’t even look my way. He just strides around the dimly lit one space, gazing down at the still smoking candle on the table.
“You haven’t told anyone.” It isn’t a question. He reaches down to pick up the lighter and flicks it on, then off, before lighting the candle in a quick, effortless motion.
Closing the door behind me, I make a noise of disapproval, but he just shoots me a glance before setting the lighter beside the purple candle once more. “About me,” Amir clarifies. His gaze flicks down to the little flame, then back to my face. “This is for her? Your twin, Elaina?”
I don’t answer right away. I just stare at the flickering light, itching to blow it out again, then whisper, “Why are you here? I haven’t told anyone. I haven’t done anything—”
“If we assume bad things only happen to those at fault, then suddenly the world makes a lot less sense,” he cuts me off smoothly. Movement makes me look up from the candle to register Amir striding toward me without pause.
“What do you want?” I demand, taking a step back, trying to get out of his way. Not that he lets me. Amir’s hand comes out to grip my wrist, and he keeps me close to him, sending my heart into a fluttering frenzy of fear and the need to escape. “I asked what—”
“Don’t act like this with me,” Amir cuts in smoothly.
“I know you’re afraid of me. And you’re reacting like a cornered animal, all bristling fur and bared teeth.
” He studies my face as if there’s something interesting there to find, before giving a soft little huff of a laugh.
“My little mortician is so different outside of the comfort of her workplace.”
The way he uses those words—my little mortician—has something shivering up my spine, but I try to push everything away to focus on him and making him go away.
“I’m just trying to get you to tell me what you want so you can go away,” I breathe, the words slow and careful. “I won’t pretend I want you here.”
“Oh, no?” His smile curls into something a little darker.
“Are you sure? Because all week I’ve been hearing from Hestia just how interested you are.
How you’re my type. How I should take a chance to get to know you better.
She even invited me to your little party today.
But I thought you might not want me there. ”
My fingers flex in his grip, and I glance down between us at my hands before looking back into his honey-gold eyes that are bright even in the dim light of my apartment.
“I was trying to learn about you,” I relent finally.
“You can’t blame me for that. I wanted to learn what kind of person you are.
Or at least, what Hestia thinks you are.
” I can’t help glancing around the apartment, some part of me convinced that Elaina is still going to show up.
Like somehow the candle will summon her ghost from the recesses of my mind.
“True,” he agrees. “It’s actually quite prudent of you, since you’re so afraid to ask me yourself.”
“I don’t want to ask you, actually.” My voice is soft, and definitely on the side of unfriendly.
He follows my gaze as I look around the apartment, and the way he watches me makes me more uncomfortable than it should.
“Is she here?” I swear his voice gentles on the question, and his grip on my wrist loosens to become comfortable rather than threatening.
I don’t need to ask who he’s talking about.
I hate that he knows this about me, when it’s not something I know how to talk about to anyone other than my therapist. Even then, I always have to swallow back the shame of seeing ghosts that my mind tells me are real.
My eyes fall to the floor, though all I can really look at are his shoes and my bare feet.
When I tug again, he finally lets go of my arm, allowing me to take a step back.
“No,” I say finally, voice guarded. “And I don’t need your opinions about it. I know they aren’t real. I know my mind is just—”
“I wasn’t going to offer my opinions on the subject of your ghosts,” he interrupts firmly.
“I’m not a doctor, and I think you’re assuming too much about what I might say.
” That has me glancing up at him, but he turns away, walking to the candle where he stares down at the flame.
I stride closer as well, keeping the table between us, suddenly protective of the purple wax encased in glass.
It’s cheap, and it isn’t any kind of heirloom.
It shouldn’t hold any sentimental value for me.
Yet here I am, standing over it, ready to snatch it away and protect it from him. Like it actually holds part of Elaina. Or at least the memory of her.
“I’ll leave you alone,” Amir says at last, causing me to jerk my face up to look at him in shock.
“I won’t ever bother you again. You haven’t told anyone, and I’ll be around long enough to make sure that you won’t change your mind about doing the wrong thing.
” He looks up to hold my gaze, then glances away again.
“You…will?” This sounds too good to be true, so I keep my hope guarded and small.
That’s all I want. If he’ll just leave me alone, then things can go back to normal.
Or at least, as normal as things ever are for me when I jump at shadows and dream of all the things that have sucked in my life. “Is this a trick?”
“Never. But…” Of course there’s a fucking but. God forbid anything in my life comes easy. Even though, in my opinion, I’ve fucking earned something better than this with all the crap I’ve been through.
Frustration rises in my throat, burning alongside the taste of the cake from earlier. “What’s the but?” I demand, voice less threatening than apprehensive. “J-just tell me how to get you out of my life.” I hesitate, but I can’t stop the next word from leaking out as well.
“Please.”
He watches me with his unnerving stare, and he doesn’t seem to even breathe.
His stillness is unnatural until he finally opens his mouth to give a small sigh.
“So eager to get to it, aren’t you? Alright then.
” Without another word, he pulls out the cheap wooden chair at my table, sitting in it and folding his legs like it’s his throne.
Hell, Amir even makes it look like one. “One thing. That’s all you have to do.
One simple thing, and I’m gone from your life forever.
The only time you’ll see me will be when I’m with Hestia. ”
That’s still too much for me, but it’s better than nothing.
So I nod, leaning back against the fridge to maintain some distance.
“What’s the thing?” All kinds of horrifying scenarios go through my head at his words.
Will he have me kill someone? Get rid of evidence from a body?
Provide an alibi to the cops? God, I don’t want to be an accessory to murder any time soon.
“You’re going to find something for me. Let’s call it a scavenger hunt. If you think of it as a sort of game, then perhaps you’ll have a less miserable time than you would otherwise.”
It takes a few seconds for me to digest the words, and I look up at him, befuddled. “You want me to go on a scavenger hunt for you?”
“I do.”
“Why?”
Amir just shrugs. “Does it matter? If you find what I’m sending you for within the time limit, then you’ll be rid of me. Isn’t that good enough?”
It’s definitely good enough, I tell myself. No matter if I have to play along with some stupid game for his amusement. And how hard can a scavenger hunt really be?
It occurs to me belatedly that I have never, not once in my life, considered myself good at scavenger hunts.
“Find what Andrew was missing when you saw him that night.” Amir’s voice is neutral as he pins me with his gaze.
“This should be an easy one for you. It’s fresh in your mind, and I like to think it won’t be that difficult.
You should start where I first saw you talking to your ghosts.
” Suddenly Amir gets to his feet and walks toward me, causing me to freeze in place against the fridge.
Before I can move away, he reaches out to cup my jaw.
“Find it before tomorrow at seven pm, and you’ll never have to speak to me again, my little mortician. ”
I can do that, I tell myself. It shouldn’t be that difficult. But before I can stop the words, the question comes out anyway: “What if I can’t find it?” Immediately, I regret the words. I don’t want to come off as being full of doubt, or being afraid of him.
Afraid of fucking failure.
But it feels like he was waiting for the question as a sly smile curves over his lips again. “Then you’ll be seeing a lot more of me. Here, at the mortuary, in town…” His thumb strokes against my cheek, and I give a little shiver under his hand.
“So for your sake, I think you should work very hard to find it. I’ll be waiting for you out in the parking lot.
Seven pm. Not one minute late.” He leans forward, and for one moment, I think he’s going to kiss me.
My heart races for a moment in my chest, and I feel my breath hitch.
But Amir just smiles, standing so close that we’re sharing the same air.
“Unless you don’t want me to go away, Nell?” he purrs.
“No.” My denial is immediate, and I jerk back from him, nearly smacking my head against the refrigerator. “I don’t want you in my life, Amir.” My voice is a shaky whisper, but I hold his gaze, trying to convince him I’m not lying.
“Then find what you’re looking for.” His hand slips free, and he turns without another word, once more gazing at the candle. Before I can stop him, he leans down and gently blows it out, and my hands clench at the almost respectful reverence he gives it before heading to the door.
He lets himself out while I’m still standing in my kitchen, frozen. Once again watching the smoke curling up from the candle I always buy to remember my sister on this one day of the year we’ll always share, even if she’s not here and beyond my reach.