Chapter 20 #3
“And since we’re getting personal, let me ask you this one. Would you rather know how much I know about you or keep wondering?”
Whatever I’d been bracing myself for, I didn’t consider a question like that coming up. My fingers tug at the sleeves of the sweater he got me, and suddenly my shoulders are cold where they’re exposed to the night air.
“I don’t know. Let me…let me think,” I whisper as my brain works at a hundred miles an hour to process every little bit of the question.
“I would rather know, I think.” But my tone isn’t certain, and I’m relieved when he doesn’t call me out for it.
Still, my next question is on my lips the moment he doesn’t push, and I ask, “Would you rather I stop playing your games or start enjoying them?”
It’s not what I meant to ask. It’s way too bold, and way too confident when I don’t have any leverage here. I can feel Amir’s stare even without looking up, and I give all of my attention to the two dogs who have abandoned the tennis balls and are instead play fighting in the grass.
“Interesting,” he murmurs. “I wonder, is it the darkness that makes you bolder, my little mortician?” he muses. “Or is it because you think you know what I want from you?”
“That’s not an answer,” I whisper. “Are you ending this game?” When I turn to look at him, he’s already waiting for my gaze.
“I would rather you start to enjoy them,” he answers at last, his hand coming out to cup my jaw, his thumb swiping over my skin. “Because then I know I’ve trapped you with something other than fear.” His smile turns wicked and possibly sly as I try to work through what he just said.
He never gives me the answers I expect, and I should start to remember that. “Would you rather know why I’m obsessed with you or know what would make me stop?”
That one is easy. “I want to know what would make you stop.” But the answer suddenly feels disingenuous on my tongue.
Still, I don’t let myself take it back, and before he can ask me any follow up, I grasp at straws to stammer quickly, "Would you rather I kiss you because I lost a game or because I wanted to?”
He just stares at me, and I wish I could take the words and cram them back down my throat. I have no business asking shit like that. Ever.
Suddenly his phone buzzes, the ringtone is soft but still enough to break whatever this is, and I levitate into the air, nearly launching myself to the moon in surprise.
Amir just murmurs an apology and pulls his phone from the pocket of his coat, a frown touching his lips before he brings it to his ear.
“Hello, mother,” he greets, his voice full of fondness that makes me do a double take.
“Is everything—” He breaks off and I can hear a long stream of words from the other side of the call, and he glances at me before letting out a soft breath. “‘āref ya mama. ‘āref. Istannīni bas.”
The words have me blinking in confusion and surprise. He repeats them, or something similar, before hanging up the phone and getting to his feet.
“You speak…” I trail off, not comfortable even attempting to guess what the language is and risk offending him.
“Egyptian,” Amir supplies. “I apologize. My mother is not as aware of things as she used to be.”
“You don’t need to apologize to—”
He kisses me suddenly, though it isn’t quite like they have been before. His hands find my shoulders, and Amir pulls me against him like he worries I’ll leave if he doesn’t. “I will apologize anyway, I think,” he murmurs finally against my lips. But when he moves to turn, I grab his hand.
“I want to pick the next game.” I meant to ask, instead of demand. But now that I’ve said it, I won’t take it back.
Amir tugs on my arm, whistling for the dogs as we walk toward the parking lot. “That’s very involved of you,” he murmurs. “If you aren’t careful, I’ll start thinking you like these games we play. And you wouldn’t want that.”
I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say, and I certainly don’t want him goading me into something I’m not comfortable giving up. “Is that a yes or a no?”
Stopping beside my car, he waits for me to unlock it before opening the door. Before I can get in, however, he draws me to him once more, his mouth finding mine and pressing to my lips in another chaste kiss.
“Of course you can,” he purrs. “But if you lose, my reward will be so much sweeter if you’re the one picking what we play.
” With that, he gently urges me into the car, not that I fight him.
“Good night, Nell.” Noctis and Umbra mill about his legs, and I manage to scratch Umbra’s ears before she’s racing to his SUV at a word from him.
“Good night,” I reply, looking up at him. “I will endeavor to create a game you won’t win.”
A smile touches his lips and he grips my car door. “I look forward to it.” With that, he closes it, leaving me alone in my car while he goes to his SUV, leaving to take care of his mother in a move I never could’ve seen coming.
Almost, as if, along with the things that make him a monster, there are things that make him human too.