Chapter 10
Ten
A Ghost in the Woods
My legs felt heavy as I ran through the snow.
The first two laps had been torturous. My muscles ached with each movement, sore from yesterday’s training.
But I had found with each step, the pain faded into a bearable throb.
I was surprised that the rest of the squad kept pace with me today.
Even Hadley. Orin and Bohdi didn’t have to run with us, but they chose to.
A show of unity. Maybe our forced bonding had made us stronger, or maybe it was all for show.
The other squads seemed to run together as well, their lieutenant and corporal ran beside them too, boots crunching in time like a rhythm of survival. Two squads had still not made it out of the dungeons, and I wondered if they ever would.
We passed the grove of snow-capped trees behind the barracks. Each time we did, gooseflesh would rip across my skin, and a strange feeling would make my stomach uneasy.
But this time the feeling was stronger. Something in my chest pulled, a deep tugging sensation towards the grove that made me gasp.
My feet faltered. A familiar melody floated through the air, coiling itself deep within me.
“Keep moving, or they’ll make us run extra,” Hadley snapped, breathless. Her voice was still raspy, and her bruising had somehow become more vibrant overnight.
“Why are you singing?” Dreya asked from beside me, her bronzed skin glistening with sweat. I hadn’t realised I was singing and my song died under the scrutiny of her gaze.
My eyes were locked on a ghost only I could see.
The figure wove between the oaks, but her feet left no trace in the snow. Her hair floated as if she were underwater, translucent strands shifting in slow, weightless waves.
I staggered towards the trees before realising I was moving.
“If your legs are tired, princess,” Riven drawled, snapping me back to reality. “You could always rest them on my shoulders.” He shot me a wink.
“Shut up, Riven,” Orin ordered, shoving his shoulder and Riven stumbled back with an amused chuckle.
“Go, I will wait with Lyra while she catches her breath. When you lap us, we will stay together,” Orin said.
Towards the ghost.
A warm hand on my shoulder startled me. I whirled, almost colliding into Orin’s chest.
“Easy now,” Orin said soothingly, running his hands gently over my shoulders. “Focus on where you are.”
“I was…” I trailed off, looking back over my shoulder, searching for the ethereal woman.
“You were humming and walking after something no one else could see. You were having an episode. I know.”
An episode. A bitter taste rose in my mouth, but I nodded. The palace guards were trained to watch me for signs of my madness, to report me for bloodlettings.
“I worry about you being without your… treatments,” he said in a hushed tone.
I stiffened under his touch.
“I know they were rough for you. But you did seem less… troubled for a few days after them.”
“You’ve been gone for seven years, Orin. Trust me when I say I was more troubled after them,” my voice trembled.
“What does that mean?” His eyebrows drew together, his hands stilling on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it,” I muttered, trying to peer around him.
Suspicion darkened his features. His hands gripped my shoulders tightly.
“Lyra?” He demanded. “How did it get worse?” But I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to know how I had suffered through the priest’s lust.
“Why did you leave me?” I asked instead, ignoring his question. It made me sick to my stomach even thinking about what the priest took from me. I couldn’t tell him.
“Aldric caught me sneaking out of your room the night before the last Ascension. He gave me two options. It was either death by the king’s hand or sacrificing myself.” He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. “It broke a part of me to disappear.”
“It broke me too,” I whispered.
“If you keep seeing things or hearing things that aren’t there, promise me you will find somewhere private and…” He trailed off.
I gave him a stiff nod, but bile rose in my throat.
He wanted me to slice a blade through my own flesh.
Gods, no. The idea made my skin crawl, like something vile had slithered under it.
The thing growing inside me since my last bloodletting had begun to feel like a part of me.
I could feel it, swirling in my chest behind the cage I had shoved it in.
But it felt like it would protect me, which was more than anyone else had ever done for me.
The sound of boots against snow made us jump apart.
I turned to see our squad rounding the barracks, another squad closely behind them.
They grew closer and we started jogging again. The woman in the trees still watched me, beckoning me with her song.
“Are you alright?” Dreya panted beside me.
“Just not as fit as all of you,” I puffed. It wasn’t a lie.
“A life as pampered princess will do that,” Hadley rasped, rolling her eyes.
“Yet here we are,” Roman said, nodding towards the snow. “Running in the cold like we’re all the same.”
I kept my eyes forward, forcing my legs to move with the others. But as we passed the grove again, I couldn’t help it. I glanced back.
The trees were still. Empty. But the air hummed.
And deep inside my chest, that tug was still there. She was there. Waiting.
The dining hall buzzed with laughter and clinking plates. Our squad sat together, joking about drills and sore muscles. I tried to listen. Tried to eat.
But the song was still there, whispering beneath my thoughts.
Orin cleared his throat from besides me. “You’re humming again, princess.”
I cast my eyes down in shame, picking idly at the dried meat and dense bread made from potatoes on my plate.
“I like your singing, Lyra,” Riven said lightly. Dark bruises bloomed over his jaw, his left eye purple and swollen shut. He grinned at me, the split in his lip re-opening and oozing blood. He had refused to go to the healers.
Hadley laughed. “I thought you were from Talloport?”
“I was only there for a month before Ascension. Why?” Riven asked curiously.
“She,” Hadley snapped, pointing her fork in my direction, “is a lunatic. I was friends with a kitchen hand that worked at the castle. She said our princess here claimed to sing to ghosts. That if you listened closely, sometimes you could hear her screams —”
I gripped the edge of the table, knuckles turning white as my breathing laboured.
Claw her eyes out. Drown her.
The whispers slithered through my mind. Something inside me twisted. I wanted her to suffer. I reached for the water in her body and pulled. Hadley coughed, clutching her bruised throat. No. I dug my nails into my palm, grounding myself with the pain. I need to stay in control.
“Go and fuck yourself,” I gritted out. Dreya spat her water across the table, eyes flashing with surprise.
“Lyra.” Orin slammed his hands on the table as he stood. “You’re dismissed from dinner.” My nails split my skin; I focused on the sting. Riven grinned, as if he were watching the most amusing thing in the world.
“As you wish,” I muttered, spinning on my heel and walking through the crowded dining hall.
I kept my head high as I walked out, keeping my eyes trained on the door.
I stormed out of the dining hall, stalking towards the main doors.
At least I could go to the trees and see if the ghostly woman was still there.
I could still hear her singing, like an undertone filtering through my body.
My boots scuffed across the dimly-lit foyer, and I pushed on the massive iron door. Its hinges squeaked, opening to the frigid winds that battered the island. Two Iron Guards turned towards me, metal helmets on as if going to battle, armour glistening in the faint light.
“Sorry, initiate, new curfew. No one leaves the barracks after dark.” One of them stepped in front of me, eyeing the lighter grey colour of my uniform.
I let out a frustrated breath and spun on my heel. I had freed myself from one cage to be locked in another. With nowhere else to go but the room, I stomped up the stairs.
Orin’s boots clipped the stone behind me, taking the stairs two at a time to catch up to me.
“Hey.” He grabbed my hand, and I spun towards him. “Are you alright?”
“Just going to bed like I’ve been ordered.” He stood below me on the stairs, and I enjoyed that I could speak down to him.
“You can’t mouth off at your squad mates like that. It makes me look bad.”
“She was the one speaking about things she doesn’t know. Yet you—”
I stopped. My hands clenched at my sides and the words died behind my teeth: You didn’t save me. You did nothing. You let her mock me. You left me behind. None of it left my mouth.
“Gods damn it, Lyra. You need control yourself. Especially around other Iron Guards. I am trying to protect you.” He sighed and ran a hand through his red hair.
He stared into my eyes and my breath caught, an unsteady sigh leaving me.
I was no longer the broken princess he used to hold.
I had saved myself and slayed my own monster.
And worse, I enjoyed the darkness that he saw as a problem.
He leant in, closing the distance between us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I—”
He held his hand up to stop me. “I know I broke your heart when I left, princess. I know it will take time for me to heal that. But I won’t stop trying. If you just stay in line, we could be happy again.”
I softened. I wanted to be happy. “Come upstairs with me?” I asked, looking down at the hair I twirled between my fingers.
“I would like nothing more, but there has been an emergency meeting called. The Fae have gathered on the other side of the gate.”
A shiver spread through my body. “Are they going to attack?” I asked, dropping my hair. Orin shrugged. “They haven’t before, but things are different now that their Commander of Death is back.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocketknife, pressing it into my palm and closing my fingers around it.
“For your…” He hesitated. “Troubles.”
He kissed me on my cheek before walking back down the stairs. I stared down at the knife, the thing inside me almost growling at the thought of spilling my own blood.
I won’t, I assured it.
I didn’t understand the darkness that lurked beneath my skin, but I knew it wanted to protect me.
It had grown stronger every day I went without a bloodletting and I liked feeling strong.
I climbed the stairs alone, and while a part of me was disappointed, the other part was grateful not to have to wear the mask of the princess he preferred.